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Post by elaine on Jan 5, 2019 22:24:08 GMT
This is a timely article.
If you don’t do anything else, just read the article and ignore my input. The article is more important. In the middle of the Ohio State bowl game on January 1st, I switched out with my Dh at a local ER with my 17 yo ds. We have had to call 911 a few times since August and have spent two previous 14 hour stints at ERs, looking for inpatient placement for him before giving up and coming home. On January 1, it was bad enough, following 2 nights were we weren’t allowed to sleep at all because he was screaming at us, hitting and kicking us and the dogs, trying to break the windows, running out of the house and into the street, jump off the deck, etc., that we decided we would stay the course at the ER until they placed him. After a 36 hour stay at the ER - they finally found a bed for him at the state hospital- no more appropriate private hospitals would take him. After not sleeping for 2 nights in the ER - not to mention catnaps for the previous 2 days at home- I followed the ambulance down 2 hours at 3 am on January 3. I have spent the past 2 nights in a hotel near the hospital. The one time I saw him caused huge problems, where he had to be sedated, so we decided that I would just call 1x per day. We decided that I couldn’t spend all week at a hotel down there, so I just got back up here this late afternoon. He he will probably be there until Friday - they won’t keep him longer because they need the bed for other kids in ERs around the state. My week will be spent continuing to beg/plead/cajole to find him a bed in a facility that can help adjust his meds. Ronald Reagan and the GOP broke our Mental Health System so badly in the 80s that it doesn’t serve anyone well. And no one is apparently interested in actually fixing it. People and family pay with their lives and their well-being because of it. Fuck $5 million/billion for a stupid worthless fucking wall. Fuck it. Spend that money on helping the mentally ill in this country and their tax paying families. Please say a prayer for my son Eli. He needs everybody’s prayers right now - he is alone in a state hospital hours from home. Although he is 17, he is intellectually disabled and is at about the level of a first-grader. So, please, please, please pray for him. And vote for politicians who actually care about mental health and will make it a priority.
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Post by questioning on Jan 5, 2019 22:32:45 GMT
I am so sorry, praying now for Eli and your family.
I haven't read the linked article yet, your story is compelling. Articles don't compare to what is happening to you in real life. I wish Politicians would stop focusing on sides, and think about what is needed, not matching a party line.
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tuesdaysgone
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Jan 5, 2019 22:33:53 GMT
Your experience is heart breaking. You are in my thoughts. I'm so very sorry. Just today my local paper had a similar article addressing this very issue.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jan 5, 2019 22:34:58 GMT
I will pray. Cancer is much more glamorous than mental health. I can show you hospital facility after facility compared to emergency psych facilities. It’s atrocious and until they treat mental health like they do cancer fuck if I will give a nickel to them.
Poor Eli. His brain is scrambled. Until you have a crisis you don’t really get it. I get it. Elaine, you get it. Very well. I pray he gets the attention and care that he needs quickly and thoroughly and fuck that goddamn wall.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,760
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Jan 5, 2019 22:35:29 GMT
Oh elaine you must be exhausted. If I could reach through the screen I'd hug you, then install a punching bag so we could hit something. Your son, Eli, is in my thoughts, your whole family is. I hope for better days ahead for you all. |
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Post by monklady123 on Jan 5, 2019 22:38:28 GMT
Wow Elaine... I'm so sorry! I will pray that the whole thing gets resolved somehow and that you find an appropriate placement for him.  |
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MorningPerson
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Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Jan 5, 2019 22:40:39 GMT
Oh Elaine I’m so sorry. I’m praying for Eli and for you and the rest of your family too.
Something has to change with our mental health system, and soon.
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ginacivey
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refupea #2 in southeast missouri
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Post by ginacivey on Jan 5, 2019 22:40:41 GMT
i am so sorry
i can hear how frustrated, tired, upset, and pissed you are
and you have every right to be
i'll be praying for you and Eli - and everyone else affected by our ineffective mental health care
gina
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
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Post by valincal on Jan 5, 2019 22:42:47 GMT
😔 I’m so sorry Elaine. I hope your son gets the help he so desperately needs.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jan 5, 2019 22:43:13 GMT
Elaine I am sorry you are dealing with this.
Reagan did irreparable damage to the country in general but one of the very worse things was what he did to our mental health system. We are still paying for his decisions today almost forty years later with the homeless situation and the mass shootings. He dismantled and destroyed the safety net for mental illness.
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inkedup
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Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jan 5, 2019 22:46:06 GMT
My heart is breaking for your family, elaine. For Eli and for all the families and people in need of treatment with nowhere to go. My love, friendship and best thoughts are with you all. |
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cakediva
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Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,426
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Post by cakediva on Jan 5, 2019 22:46:23 GMT
I'm so sorry Elaine. Despite our health care program in Canada, our mental health care is in a pretty bad state as well.
Get some rest - and hugs to you and Eli - may you find a place for him and help him the way you want to.
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sassyangel
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Post by sassyangel on Jan 5, 2019 22:47:59 GMT
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this Elaine. ☹️💔 My sister is dealing with the exactly same with my 15 year old nephew, although not to the extreme violence/self harm degree, yet. For the exact same reasons. Fortunately, mental health services are a little better in Australia, although not perfect - I definitely agree funding for that should be a priority in this country, over a damn wall that will do nothing. Sending up a prayer for Eli and your family, too.
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Post by pierkiss on Jan 5, 2019 22:49:25 GMT
Elaine I am so sorry to read your update. I wish I could help you in some way. 😢
I hope your son is able to receive some kind of appropriate and successful treatment and help while he is in the hospital. And that hopefully they can provide you with some kind of soution to help mitigate his outbursts and aggression.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 5, 2019 22:49:45 GMT
Hugs elaine That has to be so frustrating and overwhelming I can’t even imagine. I totally agree that there needs to be drastic changes so that families can get the help they so desperately need. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jan 5, 2019 22:56:23 GMT
elaine thank you for this. Prayers for Eli. I have a similar story. Last January, my 17 year old DD had a psychotic break. She weighed 82 pounds from an eating disorder. We spent five days in ER waiting for a placement at a mental health facility that specializes in eating disorders. That placement never came. Several interviewed her over the phone as far away as Arizona. And several told us she was sicker than they were comfortable treating. Despite being double insured. A new doc came in on the fifth day and released her. She agreed to therapy. And has been receiving it. And she finally agreed to a mental health evaluation in April. The doc met with her and I for an hour and half and the same doc who refused to put a label on my son for a year and a half diagnosed her bipolar on the spot. (I knew this). Now a year later, she weighs 10 pounds more. Getting her to take her medicine is still a fight. Holding down food is still a challenge. She is still angry that I wanted to "send her away." And now she is 18 and I have no say. I work at my job knowing I could be making a lot more money somewhere else because of the excellent insurance. I feel for those who don't have those resources. I am sorry about your son. I give you my hugs because I know how much you need it and how much I do too. I will send my prayers. Mental illness and mental disabilities are something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jan 5, 2019 22:59:17 GMT
I'm so sorry elaine I'll pray for your son and your family. Mental health care is such a total and complete mess. Reagan utterly screwed up in reducing federal funding for institutionalizing mental health patients under the misguided notion that the break through in antipsychotic drugs would mean there would be less need for beds. After almost FORTY YEARS you'd think that politicians would realize the clusterfuck that continues to grow. Whether the need to adjust meds or patients who won't take meds (our family's issue) unfortunately there is still a huge need for actual beds - but no money. |
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Post by mmmom on Jan 5, 2019 23:00:15 GMT
I don't even know what words I can offer to comfort you but you, your son and your family will all be in my prayers tonight. I don't know what it will take for a politician to stand up and advocate for better mental health. Take care.
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moodyblue
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jan 5, 2019 23:01:06 GMT
I’m so sorry it has been such a struggle, and continues to be.
There is a lot that is very wrong with our health care, and mental health care is often even worse.
It shouldn’t be this difficult to get the help needed.
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Post by sabrinae on Jan 5, 2019 23:02:41 GMT
I’m so sorry. The state of mental healthcare in this country is atrocious. I pray you can find a facility who can take your son.
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 5, 2019 23:09:49 GMT
I'll read the article, but have to send you cyber hugs first. I'm so sorry you are fighting this battle.  |
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Post by elaine on Jan 5, 2019 23:49:13 GMT
Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts and prayers. I’m not one to shed tears, just ask my Dh, but I can’t stop crying right now for him.
We want him home, and we need for him to be safe at home. He is 6’2” tall, so we need medication to ensure he is safe, as 5’8” me, recovering from major surgery on 12/14, is not capable.
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Post by elaine on Jan 5, 2019 23:54:10 GMT
P.s. the purpose of the article is to illustrate that we are just one of many families going through this same thing.
The next time someone boo-hoo’s to you about “the wall” tell them taking care of our own citizens is a priority.
The next time someone tells you mental health is more important than gun control, shout at them to SHUT THE FUCK UP until the NRA spends an equal amount of money on lobbying for mental health reform as they do opposing gun control.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jan 5, 2019 23:56:04 GMT
Didn’t Regan die of Alzheimer’s? Another fucking mental illness.
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Post by ajsweetpea on Jan 5, 2019 23:56:46 GMT
I'm so sorry, Elaine. Prayers coming for Eli.
There definitely has to be more done for those dealing with mental health issues in this country. A friend of mine had her son in the ER for days because there was no placement for him when he was suicidal. They finally found something for him in a neighboring state where they kept him in for all of three days. He's been sent back twice and still, he seems to getting worse, not better.
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Post by christine58 on Jan 5, 2019 23:57:52 GMT
elaine I ask this because I know many parents who are/were in your shoes with a child like your son. Have you looked into a group home/residential setting?? A dear friend had to make that decision a few years ago as they could not keep their son safe at home. He mentally was a 2 year old in a 15 year old's body. He is THRIVING in a group/cluster home with 24hr care. It was the hardest thing they ever had to do but knew they and their other children were not safe. I hate Reagan and what he and the GOP did to mental health in this country. I taught teens with a variety of mental health diagnoses. It was HELL getting them help.
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Post by elaine on Jan 6, 2019 0:03:18 GMT
elaine I ask this because I know many parents who are/were in your shoes with a child like your son. Have you looked into a group home/residential setting?? A dear friend had to make that decision a few years ago as they could not keep their son safe at home. He mentally was a 2 year old in a 15 year old's body. He is THRIVING in a group/cluster home with 24hr care. It was the hardest thing they ever had to do but knew they and their other children were not safe. I hate Reagan and what he and the GOP did to mental health in this country. I taught teens with a variety of mental health diagnoses. It was HELL getting them help. Great question. Yes, we have considered that and may well end up there. But we first want a shorter term inpatient placement to work on his meds first. He is on so many meds right now that it makes my (psychologist’s) head spin. We need to first get him someplace where they can clear his system and start from scratch and if the meds won’t do it, we will certainly be open to placing him in a group home/residential placement. We just aren’t willing to go there without seeing if with the correct meds that he could stay at home - less burden to taxpayers. |
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iluvpink
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Post by iluvpink on Jan 6, 2019 0:09:47 GMT
I am so sorry. I'm not the praying type, but I sure hope you can get him the help he needs. Lots of (((HUGS))).
I will read the article shortly. I know I agree with you, it's a sad state of affairs.
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Post by jumperhop on Jan 6, 2019 0:11:07 GMT
😢
I am keeping Eli and you in my prayers Elaine. I agree with everything you said. Our country is in a mental health crisis.
Lots of love and support and many prayers!
Jen
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Post by christine58 on Jan 6, 2019 0:13:55 GMT
Yes, we have considered that and may well end up there. But we first want a shorter term inpatient placement to work on his meds first. He is on so many meds right now that it makes my (psychologist’s) head spin. We need to first get him someplace where they can clear his system and start from scratch and if the meds won’t do it, we will certainly be open to placing him in a group home/residential placement. We just aren’t willing to go there without seeing if with the correct meds that he could stay at home - less burden to taxpayers. Makes perfect sense...praying for him and you. I am sure you are all scared and tired and worried. |
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