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Post by lauradrumm on Sept 13, 2020 2:52:15 GMT
I just broke off a 33 year friendship with my godson’s mom (she’s my son’s gm too) because of her Trump support and my heart is broken.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,011 
Location: Northern Virginia
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Sept 13, 2020 3:00:38 GMT
So sorry you had to do that.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 13, 2020 3:03:18 GMT
Ok damage control. Can you just agree to not talk politics? I am good friends with a Trump supporter and we have plenty to talk about other than Trump.
We talk: kids
Makeup
Peas
Work
Dinner
Hair
Hormones
Face treatments
Acne
Exercise
Diet
Shoes
Socks
Travel
Clothes
Can you find something in that list and AGREE TO CALMLY DISAGREE? This is the kid’s godmum. Cool off and call her in a week.
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 13, 2020 3:04:08 GMT
I'm sorry.
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nogfz
Full Member
Posts: 219
Aug 3, 2019 21:32:31 GMT
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Post by nogfz on Sept 13, 2020 3:10:21 GMT
That's a pity.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,382
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Sept 13, 2020 3:14:25 GMT
I’m sorry to hear that. Hang in there. It’s a tough situation for sure.
I’ve lost multiple 20+ year friends over twitler. At this point I don’t feel like it’s a difference of opinion, I think it’s a difference in morality. It’s tough, I miss them but I can simply no longer be friends with someone who hates my child because of who they choose to love.
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Post by lauradrumm on Sept 13, 2020 3:31:55 GMT
That’s the problem it’s about more than politics. And I own the fact that I’ve lost respect for her and thinks of her as racist and stupid😔. That’s my issue that I feel that way.
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Post by flanz on Sept 13, 2020 3:33:41 GMT
I’m sorry to hear that. Hang in there. It’s a tough situation for sure. I’ve lost multiple 20+ year friends over twitler. At this point I don’t feel like it’s a difference of opinion, I think it’s a difference in morality. It’s tough, I miss them but I can simply no longer be friends with someone who hates my child because of who they choose to love. Absolutely agree with you tincin ! lauradrumm - I'm so very sorry. I can understand your need to remove this person from your life, and I know it must hurt a lot. Big hugs to you. |
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Post by Really Red on Sept 13, 2020 3:37:04 GMT
I just broke off a 33 year friendship with my godson’s mom (she’s my son’s gm too) because of her Trump support and my heart is broken. I am so sorry. I know you must be just devastated. I don’t know what I would do if I was faced with that same situation. I’d like to think I’d like just like you. Many hugs! |
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,382
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Sept 13, 2020 4:03:13 GMT
Ok damage control. Can you just agree to not talk politics? I am good friends with a Trump supporter and we have plenty to talk about other than Trump. We talk: kids Makeup Peas Work Dinner Hair Hormones Face treatments Acne Exercise Diet Shoes Socks Travel Clothes Can you find something in that list and AGREE TO CALMLY DISAGREE? This is the kid’s godmum. Cool off and call her in a week. The thing is most of us do have a moral code where we do draw a line in the sand. It may be for one thing for someone and something else for another, but you most likely have one as well. There is some line that you just won't cross with those you associate with. I'm fairly certain the line is not whether a person leans progressive or leans conservative, or calls themselves a republican or a democrat. Those are just differences in opinion. You treat those sorts of things with tolerance and grace. We have something more significant than that going on right now and it is causing many painful separations. It is heartbreaking. You said this much more eloquently than I did. |
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oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,167
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Sept 13, 2020 4:04:33 GMT
I’m sorry for your loss of a long-time friendship. This is a looming issue in my extended family. We’ve had a policy of not discussing issues, but now people are starting to have large no-mask gatherings. Some of them are health care workers. It’s really alarming and upsetting to the rest of us. They’re jeopardizing the health of children and our elders. Then there’s the racism... how far can we let it go?
I barely ever talk to my beloved aunt, and my mom may be next. They’ve been indoctrinated into a cult, and there’s no getting them back. Fox and Limbaugh were bad enough, but now it’s OANN and Q, truly insane. It’s heartbreaking.
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Post by chlerbie on Sept 13, 2020 4:09:20 GMT
While I haven't lost any friends in my day to day life, I have defriended various people on Facebook that I once enjoyed and liked because I've totally lost respect for them over things they've posted and that's been hard enough, so I can imagine how difficult it would be to lose such a long term relationship. I'm so sorry!
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,903
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Post by tracylynn on Sept 13, 2020 4:17:55 GMT
Ok damage control. Can you just agree to not talk politics? I am good friends with a Trump supporter and we have plenty to talk about other than Trump. We talk: kids Makeup Peas Work Dinner Hair Hormones Face treatments Acne Exercise Diet Shoes Socks Travel Clothes Can you find something in that list and AGREE TO CALMLY DISAGREE? This is the kid’s godmum. Cool off and call her in a week. This works if I'm a Democrat and you're (not you, general you) are a Republican. This does not work on Trumpers. I'm sorry, it just doesn't. My group of friends went through this over the summer. In fact, it was the person who brought us all together to begin with. She has lost her mind. Full Trumper. Drunk the Kool Aid and putting it all out there. She had started coming on to our walls and arguing with us, calling us Sheep, calling our Friends Idiots and liars. When you tried to have a conversation about her, she would say we were just lost and believing the fake news. The stuff she puts on her wall is vile. She is racist. Bordering on white supremacist. That was a shocker for most of us. There is no calmly disagreeing with that fact. That is a moral line for me. There is no cooling off period. If that's where you're at in your life, then literally nothing else matters. It's heart breaking. But sometimes you just have to cut that shit out of your life, no matter how long (20+ years) you've been friends. There's been a lot of tears shed, a lot of disbelief. A lot of her accusing us of not getting past politics to remain friends. The problem is, she can't understand this isn't about politics. This is about human life. She doesn't see all human life as equal. And that's her failure, not mine. OP - I'm so sorry. I know you're hurting. I hope it gets better soon. |
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,903
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Post by tracylynn on Sept 13, 2020 4:19:46 GMT
I’m sorry for your loss of a long-time friendship. This is a looming issue in my extended family. We’ve had a policy of not discussing issues, but now people are starting to have large no-mask gatherings. Some of them are health care workers. It’s really alarming and upsetting to the rest of us. They’re jeopardizing the health of children and our elders. Then there’s the racism... how far can we let it go? I barely ever talk to my beloved aunt, and my mom may be next. They’ve been indoctrinated into a cult, and there’s no getting them back. Fox and Limbaugh were bad enough, but now it’s OANN and Q, truly insane. It’s heartbreaking. My parents, brother/SIL and I have pretty much isolated ourselves from the rest of both sides of our family for much the same reasons. I have one Aunt and another Uncle (both on my Dad's side) who are doing the same as us. The rest have just lost their ever loving mind. They've twice now gone and seen my Grandfather and his wife, who are both well into their 90's. It's absolutely INSANE to me. |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 13, 2020 4:20:57 GMT
The thing is most of us do have a moral code where we do draw a line in the sand. It may be for one thing for someone and something else for another, but you most likely have one as well. There is some line that you just won't cross with those you associate with. I'm fairly certain the line is not whether a person leans progressive or leans conservative, or calls themselves a republican or a democrat. Those are just differences in opinion. You treat those sorts of things with tolerance and grace. We have something more significant than that going on right now and it is causing many painful separations. It is heartbreaking. You said this much more eloquently than I did. I just lost a BFF recently because she threw away my clothes. I have only been friends with her for 5 years. This is 30 years and politics and COVID have brought out the worst in so many people. I am coming from a good place. |
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Kath
Full Member
Posts: 446
Jun 26, 2014 12:15:31 GMT
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Post by Kath on Sept 13, 2020 4:22:31 GMT
We have to let people be who they are going to be and love them anyway. We can’t give Trump and the media power to bring pain and suffering to our lives, to our friends, to our families.
Trump’s not here. The media isn’t here. Let’s turn off the TV and live our lives how we want to live them. We can’t let them destroy our relationships. We have to love each other despite the differences.
In our differences there is power. We can’t all be the same. We can’t all think the same. We don’t want a world where everyone is similar and group thinks. Let’s let politics go when it comes to relationships.These vultures are only after our money and they will do and say anything to get it. They don’t care if we suffer pain or deception or heartache.
We have to be able to turn the knob off and do what’s best for us. Screw them.
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,903
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Post by tracylynn on Sept 13, 2020 4:26:13 GMT
We have to let people be who they are going to be and love them anyway. We can’t give Trump and the media power to bring pain and suffering to our lives, to our friends, to our families. Trump’s not here. The media isn’t here. Let’s turn off the TV and live our lives how we want to live them. We can’t let them destroy our relationships. We have to love each other despite the differences. In our differences there is power. We can’t all be the same. We can’t all think the same. We don’t want a world where everyone is similar and group thinks. Let’s let politics go when it comes to relationships.These vultures are only after our money and they will do and say anything to get it. They don’t care if we suffer pain or deception or heartache. We have to be able to turn the knob off and do what’s best for us. Screw them. That's a nice thought, but it just isn't reality. And looking past a lot of things is easy. Like I said up thread, for most of us this isn't about Politics. This is about morals and crossing a line. Looking past someones racism and white supremacy just isn't something I will do any longer. |
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Sept 13, 2020 4:54:38 GMT
My heart goes out to you. It is really devastating. 😢
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Kath
Full Member
Posts: 446
Jun 26, 2014 12:15:31 GMT
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Post by Kath on Sept 13, 2020 4:59:11 GMT
I missed the second post about her being racist. I don’t tolerate racism amongst friends or neighbors. I’m too old to put up with that sh!t. My new neighbor recently said something about interracial marriages being wrong to my husband and he told me and now I plan on never speaking to her again if I can help it.
That goes beyond simple support for Trump and various policies and shines a light deep into the personal soul. A completely different animal.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
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Post by sassyangel on Sept 13, 2020 5:06:19 GMT
Ok damage control. Can you just agree to not talk politics? I am good friends with a Trump supporter and we have plenty to talk about other than Trump. We talk: kids Makeup Peas Work Dinner Hair Hormones Face treatments Acne Exercise Diet Shoes Socks Travel Clothes Can you find something in that list and AGREE TO CALMLY DISAGREE? This is the kid’s godmum. Cool off and call her in a week. This works if I'm a Democrat and you're (not you, general you) are a Republican. This does not work on Trumpers. I'm sorry, it just doesn't. My group of friends went through this over the summer. In fact, it was the person who brought us all together to begin with. She has lost her mind. Full Trumper. Drunk the Kool Aid and putting it all out there. She had started coming on to our walls and arguing with us, calling us Sheep, calling our Friends Idiots and liars. When you tried to have a conversation about her, she would say we were just lost and believing the fake news. The stuff she puts on her wall is vile. She is racist. Bordering on white supremacist. That was a shocker for most of us. There is no calmly disagreeing with that fact. That is a moral line for me. There is no cooling off period. If that's where you're at in your life, then literally nothing else matters. It's heart breaking. But sometimes you just have to cut that shit out of your life, no matter how long (20+ years) you've been friends. There's been a lot of tears shed, a lot of disbelief. A lot of her accusing us of not getting past politics to remain friends. The problem is, she can't understand this isn't about politics. This is about human life. She doesn't see all human life as equal. And that's her failure, not mine. OP - I'm so sorry. I know you're hurting. I hope it gets better soon. Yep. I can easily be friends with conservatives/republicans, and we can easily agree to disagree on our differences. Trump support, however, is different to this - and a very defined moral line in the sand for me. |
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
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Post by sassyangel on Sept 13, 2020 5:07:19 GMT
I’m sorry you’re hurting.  |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 13, 2020 5:09:49 GMT
I just lost a BFF recently because she threw away my clothes. I have only been friends with her for 5 years. This is 30 years and politics and COVID have brought out the worst in so many people. I am coming from a good place. She threw them away by accident or being careless, or had them and didn't realize you wanted them back? Or she took clothes that she knew were important to you and maliciously took them away from you? If it is the later, yeah, the girl is history. Who needs that? But if it is the first, we could still be friends. It's just stuff. They make more. Stores are full of it. I can spend the night online and have a whole new wardrobe arrive in two days. It's really not just politics and COVID. It is having an entirely different value system that you live by. Yes, they probably were that way the whole time to some extent. It's just getting bolder and now you can't ignore it. I'm not saying all Trump supporters are neo-nazi activists. But as an example, is that a line you don't cross with your friends? If they are now out there vandalizing synagogues and proud of it, would you still be friends? She said she threw them away but it was one grocery bag of stuff. she can’t not talk about me. I can’t deal with a friend who does that. Two serious times. She over shares everything in the world. |
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 13, 2020 6:55:22 GMT
I'm sorry that it has come to this lauradrumm. It must have been incredibly hard for you to do. I understand why you can't be friends with her any more. |
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michellegb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,919
Location: New England and loving it!
Jun 26, 2014 0:04:59 GMT
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Post by michellegb on Sept 13, 2020 8:42:27 GMT
I am sorry that you had to do that. I can understand your heartbreak. Sending big hugs to you...
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Post by gar on Sept 13, 2020 9:05:20 GMT
So hard but understandable 😟
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,806
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Post by ellen on Sept 13, 2020 12:20:45 GMT
I am sorry, but I understand. The combination of Trump, Covid, and BLM has proven to be more than I can stand to learn about people. I am so thankful that I have not had any meaningful relationships come to an end over it. I unfriended or unfollowed a bunch of people on Facebook. I have a bunch of people in my neighborhood that I will no longer socialize with - not a big deal since my husband and I moved out of that group when we bought our summer place. It's very easy to avoid my Trumper coworkers since we all have to stay in our own little zones at work.
I value my core group of people more now. They've made this awful phase in history easier to take.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Sept 13, 2020 12:40:49 GMT
I am truly sorry for your heartbreak and the loss of your friendship. I understand. And I hope hearing that so many of us takes this as seriously as you helps you heal. It’s not simple. At all.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,940
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 13, 2020 12:44:46 GMT
I'm so sorry. I absolutely understand people being Republican; I absolutely understand conservatives, libertarians, pro-Life - you name it. I get it.
I do NOT understand the blind support for this man. And if someone supports him, they support everything I abhor.
So, I'm sorry you are so sad - but I understand why you felt the need to do it. Sending you my best.
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Post by karinec on Sept 13, 2020 12:52:42 GMT
I’m sorry you had to do that. I can relate - I’ve cut nearly all ties to a close friend, a second mom really, because I can’t reconcile her support of Trump with the person that was once my friend. It’s hard and it’s lonely but ultimately I feel better not being ambushed by her off the rails proclamations.
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Post by Prenticekid on Sept 13, 2020 13:31:01 GMT
So, she just suddenly became this way after knowing her for 33 years? You had no clue? Just curious. Most of the Trump supporters I know have always been that way and I’ve steered clear as much as possible.
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