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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 8, 2020 14:17:58 GMT
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD ? It was Thanksgiving Day and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 9, 2020 15:16:05 GMT
I was watching the Alex Trebek tribute last night and balling my eyes out when my bestie sent me this photo. Her golden had fallen off the couch, landed and continued to sleep in that position. Thank you Moose for the great big belly laugh 😂😂😂
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,431
Jul 6, 2014 23:59:59 GMT
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Post by peasquared on Nov 9, 2020 16:15:16 GMT
What a gorgeous dog!
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 9, 2020 16:50:03 GMT
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline? A: A milkshake. I did my part.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Nov 9, 2020 18:39:00 GMT
My favorite *11-year-old boy joke* from my childhood: Why don't ants have balls? Because they can't dance.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 10, 2020 14:33:40 GMT
WHAT ANIMAL HAS THE WORST EATING HABITS ? The pig? Nope. The turkey, because it gobbles everything up!
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,740
Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
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Post by grammanisi on Nov 10, 2020 15:51:07 GMT
My 5yo great grandson was asking about "Donald Trump and that other guy". B-I pick Donald Trump. Me-why? B-cause Donald is like Donald Duck and Trump is like a trumpet!
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 11, 2020 15:19:55 GMT
WHY DO TURKEYS EAT SO LITTLE ? Because they are always stuffed.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 12, 2020 14:49:58 GMT
WHAT PARY OF THE TURKEY DOES A DRUMMER LOVE THE THE MOST? The drumsticks.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 13, 2020 14:26:39 GMT
WHY DID THE CRANBERRIES TURN RED? Because they saw the turkey dressing! WHY DO THE PILGRIMS’ PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN? Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,491
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Nov 13, 2020 14:32:26 GMT
Trump stooges holding a press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping because they fucked up and couldn’t/didn’t book at the Four Seasons hotel makes me belly laugh.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,166
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Nov 13, 2020 14:39:17 GMT
Trump stooges holding a press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping because they fucked up and couldn’t/didn’t book at the Four Seasons hotel makes me belly laugh. This cracks me up every single time I watch it. It’s the way her voice breaks just before she starts laughing, and knowing what it’s like just to feel that hysteria rising. I love it!
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 14, 2020 19:25:15 GMT
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
WHY DID THE CRANBERRIES TURN RED? Because they saw the turkey dressing !
WHAT DID THE TURKEY SAY TO THE COMPUTER? “Google, google, google.”
Hope you smile today !
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 15, 2020 17:55:12 GMT
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A TURKEY WITH A CENTIPEDE?
Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day!
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Post by sam9 on Nov 15, 2020 18:13:40 GMT
When I got on the scale this morning it read "No gatherings allowed".
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Post by kkrenn on Nov 15, 2020 19:54:52 GMT
Why can't you believe anything an Atom says???
Because they make up everything! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,726
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Nov 15, 2020 20:42:04 GMT
Thank you ladies, I laughed at all of them. If any of you follow God on FB, I get the best laughs when he has Friday meme days. OMG there are some brilliant ones!
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 16, 2020 15:18:31 GMT
“I’m hiding from Monday !”
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 17, 2020 15:20:31 GMT
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 18, 2020 14:55:37 GMT
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Post by pierkiss on Nov 18, 2020 19:18:51 GMT
My son’s school is doing an art project fundraiser. He is 7 years old. He brought home the flier and it had his picture superimposed onto it (see image above). He was so very excited about putting his art onto a keychain. While we love his picture, we were a little bit confused about why he drew a picture of a rat, as they are not his favorite animal. The exchange went like this: Me: “It’s a great picture buddy, your rat is nice and I really love the background”. Him: “Thanks mommy!” Me: “But, why did you draw a picture of a rat for this project?” Him: “Because my art teacher said we HAD to draw a picture of our family’s pet. And we don’t have a pet, and I wasn’t sure what to draw. But then I remembered that sometimes we get mice in the basement! And since the basement is part of our house, it’s close enough to a pet where I thought it would count!” Me: 😵🤣🤣🤣🤣. “Did you tell anyone this story at school?” Him: “Nope! Why are you laughing? What is so funny? I’m outta here!”
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Nov 18, 2020 19:21:25 GMT
pierkiss - gotta give him credit. He thinks fast on his feet! 😂
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 18, 2020 21:06:38 GMT
View AttachmentMy son’s school is doing an art project fundraiser. He is 7 years old. He brought home the flier and it had his picture superimposed onto it (see image above). He was so very excited about putting his art onto a keychain. While we love his picture, we were a little bit confused about why he drew a picture of a rat, as they are not his favorite animal. The exchange went like this: Me: “It’s a great picture buddy, your rat is nice and I really love the background”. Him: “Thanks mommy!” Me: “But, why did you draw a picture of a rat for this project?” Him: “Because my art teacher said we HAD to draw a picture of our family’s pet. And we don’t have a pet, and I wasn’t sure what to draw. But then I remembered that sometimes we get mice in the basement! And since the basement is part of our house, it’s close enough to a pet where I thought it would count!” Me: 😵🤣🤣🤣🤣. “Did you tell anyone this story at school?” Him: “Nope! Why are you laughing? What is so funny? I’m outta here!” SIMPLY BRILLIANT !!!! That’s so funny 😂 Wonder what the teacher thought? Maybe she thought it was a gerbil ?
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 19, 2020 14:11:11 GMT
pierkiss That is a very good drawing for a 7 year old. I think you better get the kid a real pet, LOL.
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Post by pierkiss on Nov 19, 2020 14:28:32 GMT
pierkiss That is a very good drawing for a 7 year old. I think you better get the kid a real pet, LOL. Well thanks! Also no pets. We have 4 kids. That’s enough things that poop 🤣🤣🤣🤣. But really it’s because my husband and I are both allergic to cats and dogs. Otherwise we would have a cat.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 19, 2020 14:37:15 GMT
WHAT DID THE TURKEY SAY TO THE HUNTER ON THANKSGIVING DAY? “Quack! Quack!” WHY DID THE FARMER HAVE TO SEPARATE THE CHICKEN AND THE TURKEY? He sensed fowl play.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 20, 2020 16:57:29 GMT
WHAT SOUND DOES A LIMPING TURKEY MAKE? Wobble, Wobble !
WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DID THE PILGRIMS LISTEN TO AT THE FIRST THANKSGIVING FEAST ? Plymouth Rock !
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 21, 2020 15:32:18 GMT
MOM WANTS YOUR HELP TO FIX THANKSGIVING DINNER ! Why? Is it broken WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PIRATE AND A CRANBERRY FARMER?? A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 22, 2020 14:16:13 GMT
GRANDMA: I WAS GOING TO SERVE SWEET POTATOES WITH THANKSGIVING DINNER, BUT I SAT ON THEM! Granddaughter: What are you serving now? GRANDMA: SQUASH !
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Post by rymeswithpurple on Nov 22, 2020 16:06:12 GMT
Whenever my brother was in 2nd grade or so, he had to write about a story from one our parents' childhoods. So, he asks my mom to tell him a story about growing up. She thought it was just him being curious, and thought nothing of it.
She tells him the story of how when she was growing up, there was one bike for the girls and one for the boys (she's one of eight kids). Well, her friend's family was just as large, but they all had their own bikes, so she decided to use one of theirs one day when hanging out with them.
My mother was a very accident-prone child, and this day was no different. She goes racing down the hill on one of the neighbor kids' bikes and crashes. (Somehow, this incident didn't lead to any broken bones like many others did, but she still got cut up pretty badly.) My grandfather was a great man, but he was not pleased to hear of this story of course, because he strictly forbade them from using other kids' bikes and reamed into her for disobeying him.
A week or so goes by, and my mother has thought nothing of telling my younger brother this story. It's now open house night at the school we went to, and my parents are looking at the kids' work that the teacher had hung up and come across my brother's. They realize that the story my mother had told him was the story he wrote about it.
The name he gave his story? "The Hissing Father."
They were never more thankful that my grandparents never attended open house events at our schools. And it's one of our favorite stories to this day.
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