so tired of the constant in your face celebration of

How else does something become mainstream, no big deal, part of our normal, except by being (no pun intended) out there, all the time, everywhere you look? Certainly not by being kept quiet, hidden away, hushed up.

OP I'm sure your intentions are good, but as you've already been told in no uncertain terms, your reaction is all wrong. What you want I think we can pretty much all agree on - but to get what you want, we have to live through this stage first.

That's it in a nutshell.

I get the point of what you're trying to say OP, but think about it this way...
You see a commercial with a man and a woman walking down the beach holding hands. No big deal. Now you see the same commercial of 2 men walking down the beach holding hands. It's suddenly "in your face". Not really, it's just a different "normal". I think with time it will be common place to see shows with gay couples, commercials, products etc. I do agree that I think there's been a few commercials recently that did it just because they wanted the uproar to bring them attention, which is wrong. Just do it because they are people, that's it.

Saved me a lot a typing - exactly this!

Its an analogy, unfortunately a very poor, thoughtless and ill-advised one but an analogy nonetheless.

I am almost 60 years old. My mom is 80 years old. That means for more than half of a century of my life, there has been virtually no acceptance of homosexuality. I never ever thought in my lifetime I would see people who are homosexual allowed in the military, and I served twice and knew plenty of people serving on the down low, and many discharged for it, much less gay marriage! I never thought I would see legalization of marijuana. I literally cannot wrap my head around how wonderful it is to see the beginnings of acceptance that has been occurring in the past 5 years of my life when there has been little societal change since desegregation.

So to me, these issues deserve celebration, and the freedom to even talk openly about it is such a new and unbelievable movement toward the progress of acceptance. But the same folks who claim there is no racism anymore probably don't like reminders that it is still very present (as evidenced even by recent threads on this forum)

So we are still probably minimally 50 years away from when it will no longer even be a blip on the radar. I think real societal change takes 3 generations, so my children's grandchildren will probably and hopefully grow up without giving anyone's sexuality a second thought. But that is not today, or tomorrow. And to keep our forward movement from sliding backwards, we need to make sure we are vigilant and keep it at the forefront for a long time to come.

I get what you are trying to say...I just don't know that there is a right way to say it at all without you looking like an ass to some, but I get where you are coming from.

Did we finally hit our first Thrusday here at the new pod?  Between the OP's rant and this response?  

Wow. Just. Wow.

Both of you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and get a grip.  


::::: shaking head :::::

I THINK she was making a correlation between what it is like for someone who is gay; that when people find out they are at risk of someone showing up at their house and beating the crap out of them, and then when the beating finally stopped they should be glad the persecution is over (which of course, it really isn't.)  Anyway, I'm pretty sure this or something like it is what she was trying to say. 

Well, call me obtuse but I still don't think your comment was any more appropriate than the OP's. I'll leave it at that.

Good analogy, and I'll add to it: I have a white friend who married a black man 25 years ago in a small town. Huge deal. They eventually move to a big, diverse city where they and their kids seldom feel different. Fast forward: recently divorced, she starts dating a black guy who has never dated a white woman. On their first dates, he bristles at EVERYTHING. He thinks everybody is staring at them on the street; he's convinced the white restaurant hostess is intentionally ignoring them. My friend - who WAS stared at and ignored for years - is astonished at his assumptions.  

As a black man in his 40s, he probably has valid personal and historical reasons for his assumptions, but he's misreading situations. They're on different schedules, these two. We're all on different schedules. Just cause you, OP, think being gay is a non-issue, doesn't mean others are on the same schedule - either from the sending or receiving end. I agree it's going to take at least another generation before there doesn't have to be so much commentary and awareness-raising. My college-aged children would probably disagree. Different schedules. 

(OP, as far as your confusion about issues of identity and disclosure, I admire you for continuing to come back to the discussion. You're being honest; you're owning mistakes in your posts; you're acknowledging when you learn from others' posts. Thumbs up.)

I am still sad that Ricky Martin is gay. He is the perfect man. I will always love him.

This is exactly how I feel about this.

How dare someone tell another human being how to live their life. Period.

I guess I've always been one of those obnoxious people when it comes to posting happy news about the newest state to legalize same-sex marriage or sharing pictures of our family at different gay pride events. My parents and in-laws absolutely hate it and it's caused problems between us.

My youngest brother visited me last summer. He had just graduated from college and was living with my parents while deciding what to do next. The first night he was here, he told me he's gay. I'm just so used to being the black sheep of the family when it comes to my views on the LGBT community that it's the last thing I expected him to tell me. I remember not acting shocked and feeling like it was really important to play it cool, but I just didn't see that coming, not in a million years!

Anyway, I'm the only person in my family who knows. My siblings are all very close with each other, but my brother is still scared to tell our other brothers. He's spent the last few months listening to my father rant and rave about how the gay community is destroying America and how "sick" they all are, so there's no way in hell he's going to come out to my parents.

Because our family obnoxiously celebrates and embraces the LGBT community, my brother knew that our home was a safe place where he doesn't have to hide any part of who he is. The weekend after he came out to DH and I, our family took him to a pride event that was going on downtown. He's kind of stoic, but I could tell it meant a lot to him to be there with his nephews, sister, and brother-in-law, knowing how much we love and support him. He was actually so happy here that he's moving to the same city I live in this weekend He's felt depressed and lonely for a very long time and now he keeps telling me how relieved and excited he feels to start a new life away from our parents.

So, I think that's all cause for celebration. You never know if someone you love or care about is hurting or hiding and waiting for someone to show them it's okay to be themselves. If my silly posts or pictures on Facebook were a sign for my brother that he could open up to me, then it was worth all the nasty remarks and criticism I received and then some.

Someday I genuinely believe this stuff will be a non-issue, and I can't wait for that day to come. Until then, our family will keep celebrating when same-sex marriage is legalized and probably posting pictures when we attend the next Gay Days even at Disneyland (or whatever). We don't do it to be obnoxious or in-your-face. We do it for people like my brother, and we do it hoping that it will encourage other families to help us create a more accepting and friendly environment for those who need and deserve it