so tired of the constant in your face celebration of

What do the extra initials stand for? LGBT was the old stanard. What are the new labels that QIA stand for?

Questioning (or sometimes queer), intersex, asexual, and some use the "a" for ally as well. I've been learning a lot about sexual and gender identification the past few years. It is a huge spectrum.

Ha, we posted at the same time!

Yeah, I've found different people use different terms for the acronym sometimes. I know there is a small movement out there to come up with something easier and more inclusive or all-encompassing, so we'll see if any different terms take hold in the future.

You know, oh, about 7 months, give or take a few, I had to sit through a Team lunch where some other people from the office were invited. Anyway, during this lunch, the topic of gay marriage came up, and one of my colleagues--who is a black Dominican who married a Jewish man, and who has shared her story with me of how his family treated her badly because she's black--said, "I think homosexuals are disgusting." Now, two people (besides myself, obviously) knew about my sexuality because I had told them. I just didn't say anything and I was just silently pleading for those other two people to not say anything in response, even though I knew they wanted to.

Now, I've only come out to a handful of people. Every time I think I can go to the "Coral Gaybles" gay professional group near my house, I remember that I have family members and/or colleagues in that area. So I don't go--because I don't want anyone else in my family to find out before my grandmother passes away. I recall that there's a particular attorney who lives in that area who tried to get me to admit I was gay for 3 years--just because that's what she does. According to her, "she wants to ferret out every gay person," and because I don't date, she assumed I was a lesbian. Every time people at work talk about an actor, I have to pretend I think he's handsome or hot. Because again, social and professional circles are tiny, even though we think they're not. Every time I fill out a medical form or insurance form, I don't check off "lesbian or homosexual" because I don't want "it" to be out there until I'm ready for it to be out there. Every time someone makes fun of the interpreter or tells me she's disgusting because "she's a dirty lesbian" and "looks and acts like a man," I'm horrified, and appalled, and saddened that these people with whom I have worked for 7 years are going to talk about me the same way. Sooner rather than later.

And yeah, my family's the "burn the gays and lesbians," type.

Yeah, it's great, isn't it??

Living authentically is going to trump that b.s.! Everyone deserves happiness and the delay you are experiencing should mean you are rewarded with all the peace and love your heart can hold.

Aw, that's sweet. I wish everyone lived in a world where this kind of acceptance was normal.

I think it will take a long, long time before everyone is able to live as they want to. My heart is hurting for some of the stories on this thread. 

As a mother of a gay transgender young adult this part of the OP bothered me the most and the response of Sarah H said most of what I would want to say about it.  I'm going to add a little more to it. Not to berate the OP for her beliefs, but to add something for her to possibly think about. I know that my thinking on gender has expanded greatly.

My child was born a girl and was a "tom boy." I have another daughter who is a non-girly girl (but identifies female) so thought nothing of it. Some questions growing up about why girls had to wear dress, but nothing like the transgender stories you see in the news about the kids declare they are the other gender at tender ages of 2,3,4,5,etc. Things started coming to a head in puberty. Disliking of the female body parts. Dating a couple boys, dating a girl, dating another transgender person for a year. Counseling for the past 3 years. Wearing male clothes. The change in the kid from very unhappy, didn't care about hygiene or appearances is amazing.  A more confident happy person has emerged as they are accepting themselves.

So now they are to the point where they want to take hormones to have a more masculine voice and stop periods, have a more muscular and less curvy body. I asked (as have a couple of family members) if they want to have surgery. You know what?  They said no.  I am frankly shocked.  I thought that that is what every transgender person wants. Not the case. This how the kid explained it to me.  "My sex is female, but my gender is male."

My kid is kind of an androgynous person.  Several of their friends are the same way. You don't quite know if they are male or female. That makes people really uncomfortable...not knowing.  My point I guess is: gender is not black and white for everyone.  It can be hard to understand if you have always felt you are male or female.

*** They, their, them, etc - I sometimes use this pronoun as my transgender child told me this is an acceptable way to use pronouns for a transgender person.

{{hugs}} I'm hopeful that your coworkers are going to be horrified, appalled and saddened by the things that they have said in the past and realize how wrong they were.

Your point that people with non-traditional gender roles face hostile aggression every day was made in a hostile & aggressive manner.

Interesting choice. It made me stop and do a double-take and that's the kind of reaction you hoped for I'm guessing?



OP, George Takei is popular right now because people want to hear his clever take on things. Other than fans of the original Star Trek, nobody cared two hoots about him or what he had to say before. I only occasionally see a shared post of his on FB, so I'm just a little confused how you consider him in your face. 

That's just a little aside wondering, though. It's not really important to the thread. 

From the beginning of this thread I wondered if the OP was talking about the actor from Star Trek. Is a big media presence for gay people?