|
|
Post by monklady123 on Nov 10, 2021 18:12:11 GMT
|
|
wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,073
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
|
Post by wellway on Nov 10, 2021 18:16:13 GMT
I'm so sorry, what a shock for you.
Hugs to you.
|
|
kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,597 
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
|
Post by kate on Nov 10, 2021 18:24:20 GMT
I'm gobsmacked - I can't even imagine how much moreso you must be! counseling- if not to save the marriage then to work together to end it amicably This is how my DH and I weathered a rough patch before we were married (we'd been together several years already). We were both open to splitting up if we couldn't work things out, but we did get through it and are stronger for it. That's not everyone's story, but it is one possibility... And splitting up in a healthy way is so much better than having a bomb go off - especially since you have kids who will be taking note of whatever example you set. |
|
|
|
Post by heckofagal on Nov 10, 2021 18:32:31 GMT
I’m so sorry!
|
|
|
|
Post by auntiepeas on Nov 10, 2021 18:33:29 GMT
I’m so sorry.😔 Sending gentle hugs.
|
|
TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 3,035
Member is Online
|
Post by TXMary on Nov 10, 2021 18:35:30 GMT
I am so sorry. You are a strong lady and you will get through this. Big hugs. The Peas have your back.
|
|
|
|
Post by papersilly on Nov 10, 2021 18:38:20 GMT
i'm sorry you are going through this.
|
|
|
|
Post by quinlove on Nov 10, 2021 19:03:10 GMT
I’m so sad for you. As a pea said above - you do not have to fake it until May. Think about what is best for you and your son, and proceed in that direction. Please see a good attorney first.
And, you know that you are not going through this alone - we are all here 24/7 for you.
Sending love to you. ❤️
|
|
|
|
Post by KelleeM on Nov 10, 2021 19:06:12 GMT
Well damn, that really sucks. I’m so sorry.
|
|
|
|
Post by maryland on Nov 10, 2021 19:09:26 GMT
So sorry you are going through this. We are here for you.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 4:06:00 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2021 19:17:15 GMT
freecharlie I'm so sorry. It sounds like he needs a break from his stressful job and needs counseling (even thru tele-health). I hope that there will be a lot more talking before any drastic separation happens. You both deserve to try to work it out. xo
|
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Nov 10, 2021 19:36:31 GMT
Wow I'm so sorry to read this. How awful even when you see it coming, but to be blindsided like this? I'm hoping you can work it out in a way that will be mutually agreeable, but I don't think I'd want to fake it for several months.
|
|
|
|
Post by tealpaperowl on Nov 10, 2021 20:18:35 GMT
I'm sorry to hear this! I've been through a divorce, keep your chin up, it's a bumpy road but you can do it!
|
|
|
|
Post by birukitty on Nov 10, 2021 20:25:51 GMT
I wonder if the stress from taking care of so many COVID patients just got to him? Counseling is going to really help you process all of this. He should be doing private therapy and if he's willing how do you feel about marriage counseling? I've been wondering if there will be a correlation between healthcare providers and PTSD as the pandemic continues? A crisis is not the time to make a major life decision and I wonder what's really behind this? No matter what, you must take care of yourself first. You and your children are all that matters. We're here for you as you process the shock and then deal w/all of this. Time to arm yourself w/knowledge, a pitbull attorney and if you think it's a good idea, couples therapy to see if there's something worth saving. You don't have to wait for your son to graduate, but you can. You get to make decisions, too. My heart goes out to you and I'm so sad about this. This 100%. Scrapmaven said it a lot better than I can. Sending you big hugs! |
|
|
|
Post by thundergal on Nov 10, 2021 20:31:02 GMT
My gosh. I'm so sorry to see this. I wish I could give you a hug. I've been there. When they blindside you like that, it's like they are speaking a different language, or that you've lost your mind.
You know you'll get love and support here. Let us help however we can.
|
|
|
|
Post by nellej on Nov 10, 2021 20:33:12 GMT
Seems the stress and all took its toll on dh. He's decided he no longer loves me and wants to fake until until our youngest graduates to divorce. I'm in shock I'm so sorry to hear this. Once the shock has worn off, I hope you realise that he doesn't get to decide the timeline. |
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,276
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Nov 10, 2021 20:40:22 GMT
What an awful shock for you.
Like many others said, yes, talk to a lawyer and make sure you and the children are protected - and also talk about counseling. Even if you end up going the separation and divorce route, now or later, counseling may help you both get through this in better shape. And it’s possible that counseling could help save your marriage if it’s a result of the current stresses.
I guess my thought is to get your ducks in a row, but don’t jump right to any irrevocable steps.
|
|
oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,064
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
|
Post by oh yvonne on Nov 10, 2021 20:44:25 GMT
I'm so sorry you are going through this, we are here to listen. You've gotten lots of great advice, I'm just standing here in agreement and solidarity as you navigate through this time. <hug>
|
|
luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,069
|
Post by luckyexwife on Nov 10, 2021 20:45:07 GMT
I am so so sorry. I was blindsided by my ex three years ago, it was devastating, and I was gutted. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
|
|
|
|
Post by Crack-a-lackin on Nov 10, 2021 20:55:05 GMT
I’m so sorry. I wish you the best of luck during this difficult time.
|
|
|
|
Post by fiddlesticks on Nov 10, 2021 20:58:12 GMT
Oh my word. What an incredible shock. I’m so sorry. The peas have given some good advice here.
|
|
|
|
Post by juanita on Nov 10, 2021 21:16:22 GMT
I am so sorry. Hugs.
|
|
|
|
Post by Baseballmom23 on Nov 10, 2021 21:20:18 GMT
(((hugs)))
|
|
|
|
Post by peano on Nov 10, 2021 21:31:27 GMT
How devastating for you to be blindsided like this. I honestly can't imagine having a bomb dropped in this way, and then be expected to play happy house for my child. That is an unfair and unhealthy ask in my opinion. We're here for you.
|
|
Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
|
Post by Nanner on Nov 10, 2021 21:33:23 GMT
I'm so sorry.
|
|
luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,687
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
|
Post by luckyjune on Nov 10, 2021 21:44:13 GMT
I'm so sorry. I'm sending you hugs and positive energy. Do what you need to do to take care of you. I hope your DH comes to his senses.
|
|
tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,427
|
Post by tanya2 on Nov 10, 2021 21:56:33 GMT
I am so sorry you are going through this
|
|
purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,801
|
Post by purplebee on Nov 10, 2021 21:58:41 GMT
So sorry. Hugs…
|
|
|
|
Post by bearmom on Nov 10, 2021 22:01:11 GMT
Sorry to read this, ((hugs)) for you. Take care of you first. I agree pps, counseling for you (and dh if he will go). I would also consider if waiting until May is in everyone’s best interest.
|
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Nov 10, 2021 22:04:53 GMT
You must be reeling. My head would be spinning to be so blindsided by something like this. I’m very sorry.
|
|
