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Post by teach4u on Nov 28, 2021 20:52:09 GMT
Any guy so deceitful and disregards your feelings and is willing to give up his commitment is not a prize. I realize it's easy to type and hard to feel... but I'd try to see him as "ex" husband vs husband. He's told you that's what he wants. Seeing his positive attributes while minimizing your own will not help you right now.
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 28, 2021 20:54:00 GMT
Is there any way to delete this thread? He does know about this place and I've given too much information
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Post by christine58 on Nov 28, 2021 20:57:13 GMT
Is there any way to delete this thread? He does know about this place and I've given too much information I don't think so unless you message admin |
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 28, 2021 21:01:18 GMT
Ok. Not a huge deal. I don't think I've been out of bounds on anything
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Post by mollycoddle on Nov 28, 2021 21:04:10 GMT
Is there any way to delete this thread? He does know about this place and I've given too much information Does he know your user name? And check your profile to make sure there isn’t any identifying info on it, like location or birthday. |
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Post by Laurie on Nov 28, 2021 21:07:57 GMT
Maybe delete your posts and any of us that quoted you could delete their reply or at the very least your quotes?
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,636
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Nov 28, 2021 21:08:38 GMT
Is there any way to delete this thread? He does know about this place and I've given too much information Maybe change your avatar too. If that’s a family pet someone would recognize it. |
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,940
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Nov 28, 2021 21:55:57 GMT
Ok. Not a huge deal. I don't think I've been out of bounds on anything Oh, if he checks here? FUCK YOU |
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Post by teach4u on Nov 28, 2021 22:46:31 GMT
I agree with Peabay. Get bent dbag. You've spoken nothing but truth. Sometimes the truth the hard to take.
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Post by Skellinton on Nov 29, 2021 0:40:56 GMT
Maybe so, but at least it would provide a level of security that you have a cushion should you need it. My friend tried to take the high road and didn’t open a separate account when she was getting divorced only to discover that her not so DH emptied out the joint bank account and all the auto pays that were set to come out of the old account started bouncing all over town. This. Just because there is an injunction, probably won’t stop him from emptying the account once he is served. How would the bank know and prevent him from withdrawing it? He might be expected to pay it back once things go through the courts, but that might take a long time and if it is spent, it will be harder to recoup. You may eventually, but it won’t be immediately and you may need that money in the meantime. Please open a separate account and put some of the shared assets - or at least YOUR paycheck - in it. You need the security. I am also very concerned now that you can’t say with certainty that you will be safe at home once he finds out you filed. Please have an emergency escape plan in place. It is another reason that you need a separate bank account, in case you need to escape the house for your safety. I am too. Is there people in your life you can be an reach out to that could be helpful in an emergency? Someone that you can check in with regularly? |
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 29, 2021 0:42:50 GMT
This. Just because there is an injunction, probably won’t stop him from emptying the account once he is served. How would the bank know and prevent him from withdrawing it? He might be expected to pay it back once things go through the courts, but that might take a long time and if it is spent, it will be harder to recoup. You may eventually, but it won’t be immediately and you may need that money in the meantime. Please open a separate account and put some of the shared assets - or at least YOUR paycheck - in it. You need the security. I am also very concerned now that you can’t say with certainty that you will be safe at home once he finds out you filed. Please have an emergency escape plan in place. It is another reason that you need a separate bank account, in case you need to escape the house for your safety. I am too. Is there people in your life you can be an reach out to that could be helpful in an emergency? Someone that you can check in with regularly? I have family and friends, some very nearby. |
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,441 
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Post by huskergal on Nov 29, 2021 0:45:15 GMT
I'm so sorry, but you have to do what is best for you.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
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Post by Nanner on Nov 29, 2021 0:51:28 GMT
I'm so sorry. One step at a time, one day at a time. Sending you hugs and best wishes.
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Post by mom on Nov 29, 2021 0:54:14 GMT
I would use a bank that is NOT associated with any other accounts. I would choose a local bank, though, so I could go in and talk to them face to face if I needed to vs. an online only bank. |
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Post by quinlove on Nov 29, 2021 1:04:39 GMT
As of right now. He comes home, we speak for a couple of minutes about nothing and then he goes to his basement bedroom to talk to her the rest of the night. Oh - this is breaking my heart for you. You are receiving alot of good, solid advice here. You are doing the correct steps to protect yourself and your sons, financially. Stay as busy as you possibly can. It will slow down your mind from spinning so much. If you feel comfortable talking on the phone to friends and/or family, that usually is a good release of all the crap you are dealing with. Going over it and over it vocally is a normal reaction. I sincerely hope that knowing we all are in your corner with you ~ helps you love. |
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Nov 29, 2021 5:52:30 GMT
Ladies, may I suggest if you have some advice to private message her so soon to be ex can’t read it here  |
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,409
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Post by cycworker on Nov 29, 2021 6:10:49 GMT
Sending you love. This sucks.
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Post by peace on Nov 29, 2021 17:51:58 GMT
I just wanted to add that when I got divorced 7 years ago- in Ohio-I had to file a restraining order to both stop him from emptying accounts AND prevent him from just "popping by" whenever he wanted. I know he is still in the house, but that could change once he is served. Let's hope anyway.
ETA: Also, he always wanted to come by the house for this or that. I would leave so he could and I wouldn't have to see him BUT during that time- he tried to access my iPad and snoop as well as he stole all of my pictures and scrapbooks. Just letting you know. Other than that separate account, I would think about a nanny cam
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Post by mom on Nov 29, 2021 17:57:41 GMT
Check your messages when you get a chance.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Nov 29, 2021 18:15:45 GMT
I would leave so he could and I wouldn't have to see him BUT during that time- he tried to access my iPad and snoop as well as he stole all of my pictures and scrapbooks. Just letting you know. Other than that separate account, I would think about a nanny cam Based on a friend's experience, I'd recommend getting anything sentimental or things from your family out of the house. Also any nice jewelry you might own. See if a friend or family will hang on to them until this is all settled. |
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Post by sabrinae on Nov 29, 2021 21:53:45 GMT
Does he know you are about to serve him? Will you be safe when he is served? I’m worried about you - especially if he is drinking a lot. as far as I know he does not know. I am not sure if I am safe or not Reach out to your local domestic violence shelter— they can help you make a plan for when he gets served to ensure your safety. It doesn’t mean you have to leave the house but they will know resources available if he does get violent. If he’s drinking that much, it’s a real worry. |
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