Feel so bad for my neighbors (COVID)

I think this board is as guilty as other social media platforms for allowing distance which can impact your empathy. A particular covid comment on "can't vaccinate" hit me at a low moment a week or so ago and I absolutely posted more harshly than I would say to my unvaccinated neighbors or family members. I had just found out that my kids' universities were starting remote and I was straight up mad. My kids lives have been severely impacted, first by the pandemic and now by those who won't vaccinate. They've had their own struggles with isolation, anxiety, depression and real academic impact over the last few years. I understand worrying about at risk family members and have that on my plate too. I do apologize to those members of the board who I hurt or offended. I think many of us are just frustrated.

I am pro vax. I am vaccinated and boosted along with my family. I have some really strong feelings regarding it. I have most likely expressed them here, if which I sincerely apologize. I have a dear friend whose Mom died of Covid. I have at least 3 other friends who have died from Covid. All of them prior to the vaccine.

I have 2 close friends who don’t believe that Covid even exists. I know that one of these friends is swimming in the conspiracy pool.

I had to make a very important decision regarding my 2 very best friends. I could make our differences destroy our friendship. I decided that my friendship meant more to me than our different opinions surrounding Covid. So I basically just don’t talk about it with them. I don’t go there. I value my friendship with them.

This whole issue has become friend against friend, family member against family member, and had become so political that it is ridiculous. Prior to Covid I didn’t talk politics with them so it is easy for me to not talk about Covid with them.

That isn’t to say that I don’t discuss them and their stance with my family and my like minded friends.

I’m still stuck on how the vaccinated are supposed to be perfectly understanding of and compassionate toward the unvaccinated who get sick, but the unvaccinated or unmasked feel no responsibility whatsoever to be compassionate to those around them my getting vaccinated or wearing a mask.

Why do we have to be the bigger people here? Maybe police your own folks instead of trying to handslap people who have continued to make major sacrifices for everyone, including the unvaccinated/unmasked. We did everything we could to keep ALL of us from getting sick. For that we are mocked, maligned, called sheep, and accused of being insufficiently compassionate toward those who made no such efforts. Not to mention the abuse that healthcare workers, service workers, and teachers have taken from the anti-vaxx public.

Y’all are not the victims here.

I am very much pro-vaccine and when I ask if someone with covid was vaccinated, it isn't so I can gauge my level of sympathy, it is because I am curious to know if there are breakthrough infections near me.

That being said, I know I have been harsh on here about those who have mo intention of being vaccinated and then want all of the latest treatments.

I agree.  But we already are the bigger people here.  We got vaccinated/boosted/wear masks.  They are the ones that need to step up to the plate.  I don't think we need to do any more. 

I’m one of the people who have said that I’m out of empathy for those who choose to be unvaccinated and then become ill with Covid. I stand by my position. Those who choose not to be vaccinated have chosen to place themselves at much higher risk of contracting Covid, becoming seriously ill from Covid and dying from Covid. They are also putting an enormous strain on the healthcare system and preventing others from accessing needed healthcare for non-Covid needs. For example my elderly grandmother spent 4 days in an ER cubicle awaiting needed care for a gallbladder issue because there were no beds available for her at the hospital or any any hospital within a transfer radius due to Covid hospitalizations. The unvaccinated also continue to raise the risk level for all those who Can not be vaccinated due to age, health conditions or allergies and those who are vaccinated but have a lower level of immunity due to other health issues.

I don’t know why I should show empathy and compassion to those who refuse to show it to others. Especially considering the comments form conservatives on this board have said that the above people should just die. I find it especially ironic when one of the above posters comes to the board only to hand slap liberally while ignoring all bad behavior from those who share her views. I’m done being expected to play by one set of rules while the conservative/unvaccinated play by another set of rules. Maybe the unvaccinated should show some compassion and empathy through their words and actions if they want the same on return.

Well, I am sad to see that Miss Jenn felt the need to delete. I get taking a break, and people are free to do what they need to do for their mental health, but still I wish she had not deleted.

Miss Jenn if you happen to see this I hope your husband continues to get better and I also hope maybe you will feel like coming back someday.

See where I've lost it for the unvaxed, or maybe more specifically the anti-vax or not vaxd for no real reason, is for the lack of empathy they seem to have or can't see past themselves.

If anyone in my immediate family were to succumb to covid it would probably be me because transplant etc. And you know what I worry about probably more than myself? Harming others if I spread it to someone else. And I'll go a step further.

If my kids got it and passed it one to me and ... they'd be inconsolable. And furious and all sorts of emotions they don't deserve because they are considerate and consistent in doing everything they can to not contribute to this mess. And extra I know, because of me.

My DS lives with me but goes to classes and works outside the home. He feels deep, is on the spectrum, has some anxiety and I don't even want to think about the depth of undeserved guilt he'd feel. It'd crush him. Or turn him crazy angry. I can only hope he'd turn his emotions to help others.

So yeah, that's were I literally don't see how others can't see or feel any of that. (not speaking to anyone specifically on the board) just my thoughts. If the run on jabber by this awful texter makes any sense.

I too hope miss Jen takes some time she needs and finds her way back.

I definitely think that part of people asking is because we generally want to know if something could happen to us. Like if someone was In a car accident, you might ask if the were wearing a seat belt. Or were there some extenuating circumstances that might mean that we would be less likely to have the same thing happen to us.

I don’t see MissJen’s situation as being the same as those who now, after almost a year of vaccines being available, still haven’t gotten the vaccine and actively fight against efforts to try to control the virus.

I also don’t recall seeing posts saying that people wished the unvaxxed would die (although I could have missed it and could see at least one pea saying that). What I recall is people saying that they don’t have a lot of sympathy for people who are unvaxxed people who die. Those are two different things, although I think if it was someone close to them they would probably feel differently, although probably still angry that they didn’t get the vaccine.

I work in education and dh is a nurse practitioner who works in primary care, so that colors my opinions about the unvaccinated. I know how hard dh has worked over the last 2 years. He is stressed and overwhelmed but he shows up to work everyday. And has conversations with unvaxxed to try to convince them to get the vaccine. He has successfully convinced at least 150 patients (the hospital counted). Some of them just needed to have a conversation with someone in health care that they trusted. I completely understand that. However, at this point in the pandemic, for adults, we are past the hesitancy with the wait and see approach or need to talk to a trusted person. Most of the remaining unvaccinated adults, aside from the ones who can't get the vaccine for medical reasons, have put their own personal freedom or political views ahead of the greater good. So, no, I don't have a lot of compassion for them. I don't wish them ill and certainly not death, but I'm frustrated that the unvaccinated are prolonging the pandemic, filling up hospitals, overwhelming hospitals, making health care more difficult to access for a lot of Americans (postponed surgeries). I think the frustration is more about the consequences of the decisions of the unvaccinated that all of us are paying for.

I also think some of the frustration with the unvaccinated stems from their other beliefs or actions. Many of the unvaccinated are the same ones that refuse to wear masks or railed against them. As an example, at school, one family is very vocal about their anti mask, anti vax stance. One of the kids came to school and told us the parents are sick and isolating. A grandparent is taking care of the kids. The school nurse called home, confirmed that the adults are sick and isolating but the mother claimed they had strep throat. You don't isolate for strep throat and only a small percentage of adults get strep throat. More than likely, they have covid. And they continue to send their unvaccinated kids to school in violation of the school rules. That's my frustration. I'm sorry I don't have a lot of compassion remaining for the unvaccinated.

eta - No one close to me is unvaccinated.  All of my extended family, friends, neighbors and co-workers are fully vaccinated and boosted.

My son cannot be vaccinated due to his age. We were told at his most recent pediatrician appointment we would see a light at the end of the tunnel at the end of January. That has now been pushed to April.

I’m mad as hell at people who are eligible for the vaccine who choose to not get it. And I’m even more mad at those who choose to push misinformation and bullshit to discourage others from getting vaccinated. And even *more* mad at those who refuse to get the vaccine but still live a relatively normal life, end up with Covid, then seek medical help from the same people they were not trusting previously.

Now I have to be the bigger person and set my feelings aside?

Hell no.

I would get my son vaccinated yesterday if he were eligible so I could finally feel better and move on with our lives. And truthfully there is a part of me that will never recover from the selfishness I’ve seen from people who are not willing to protect our most vulnerable population.

I have vented about anti-vaxxers on the board, but I have never singled out an individual pea. As a high risker I spent 14 months at home, never entering a store or anything other than a medical facility, as needed. 2 years later I rarely go into a store and if I do it's at opening, so that I am not exposed to crowds. There are many people all over the planet who are high risk. I can't lecture individuals, because it doesn't work. So, I vent here like many others who want everyone to get the vaccine so that we can get on w/our lives. I will not lose friendships over this.

I feel this way too.