Feel so bad for my neighbors (COVID)

I urge EVERYONE who has even mild feelings of fragility to avoid all mention of covid on any social media platform.

If reading what others in the community are saying about covid is making you feel uncomfortable, then do stop reading those pages for a while.  Confine your reading about covid to what the experts are saying.  

It is so easy for anyone’s mental health to suffer at times like this. Whether you are vaccinated or not, whether you or your family has had covid or not, whether you believe the scientists or not. No matter what age you are, no matter whether you live alone or with others, no matter whether you work or not, no matter whether you work from home or not.  Even if you’ve been fine but are starting to feel fragile sometimes, please stop reading what other ‘ordinary people’ are saying.

I know my own mental health was suffering, even though I am vaccinated and boostered, and I am extremely fortunate to live in a country that has been managing covid very well. No omicron in the country’s population (yet), only 18 new cases of covid in the community nation-wide in the last 24 hours. So why should I be having covid-induced mental health issues? I developed an equivalent of survivor’s guilt exactly because I have it so good, when others who I was reading about online are having such a tough time.  I have only just started reading message-board covid threads, such as this one, again but I suspect it’s still too soon, so I am going to stop again.

If you are feeling even a little fragile, please join me in avoiding covid discussions on all social media. They are not worth risking your sense of well-being.

@oh yvonne I hope your daughter doesn’t suffer too much with Covid and that she makes a speedy recovery. You are a lovely neighbour.

I think like everyone else I’m tired. I’m tired of the anti-vax bullshit. I’m tired of the conspiracy theories. I’m tired of people politicizing a pandemic. I’m over it.

I think if you can get vaxxed/boosted you should get vaxxed/boosted to protect those that can’t, alleviate the strain on the healthcare system and, God willing, finally end this pandemic.

I have several friends in healthcare, we zoom monthly for our wine and whine event. They are exhausted. More often than not they breakdown telling stories of the people their caring for, all COVID patients. It’s heartbreaking. And even though, currently, most of the patients they’re seeing are un-vaxxed, you’d have to be a monster not to be moved by these stories. And unfortunately there’s always a story.

I was diagnosed with a rare auto-immune disease in November. I’m getting chemo. My medical team has told me in no uncertain terms that I am on lockdown, to the point we’re doing virtual visits and I’m only going to the hospital for chemo and bloodwork every two weeks (oh, except an Echo next Saturday). So where I was careful before, never stopped wearing a mask but would go out to eat (I think I did 2x) or go see a friend, now I can’t do that.

DS is in school. He’s double vaxxed and boosted. We had a conversation when he went back to school after Christmas break about double masking or wearing a N95/KN95 mask. He doesn’t like the 95 masks because he says he can’t breathe (that means their working! Just kidding). He has autism and I’ve been super proud about how he’s handled masks the past 2 years. So I told him, if he double masks, then that will be our compromise. So he wears a surgical mask underneath his Jannau cloth mask. I just replaced all the cloth masks, figured after 2 years I probably should. If DS brought COVID home to me and something happened to me he’d be INCONSOLABLE. He’s super worried about me (especially after losing DH in ‘19). So the fact that my kid is super stressed out makes me angry at those who choose not to vax and mask and prolong this pandemic.

If everyone could be a Goddamn grown up and put others needs ahead of their own, we’d all be better off. I will say this, I have less of an opinion of my fellow man following this pandemic. It’s disgusting how the collective we have been treating each other. History will not be kind to us and nor should it be. We could have pulled together for the common good to fight this pandemic but instead we (again the collective we) took the everyone for themselves approach and how DARE you ask me to wear a mask or get a vaccine that’s not been approved (yes, masks work and the vaccines have been approved).

Just tired. That’s my word for 2022. Tired.

I don’t need to line up to announce my capacity for compassion. 

I don’t need to apologize or beat my breast if I can’t summon compassion equally regardless of another’s choice or circumstance.

I DO parse and parcel compassion and that is neither a new nor novel phenomenon in human nature.

I got vaccinated for myself and society. That’s all I need to announce. 

Hug. I hope things go much better for you and your family in 2022.

He is, thank you. He came home yesterday.

I am fully faxed right now, but not boosted. I had an appointment for my booster in December, but was exposed to covid at close range by a fully vaxed medical person and was told to reschedule. I did get covid symptoms, actually my symptoms were worse then the person who exposed me, but my PCR test was negative. Weird!

I fully admit I was terrified to get those first vaccines, knowing there can be reactions, but figured that the alternative was worse. I understand the science, yes, but also understand that the vaccines were rushed.

My brother and his family are not vaxed. They live next door to a nurse who works in a large hospital. She absolutely refused to be vaxed, and gave them her reasons. They trusted her and listened and decided she was in the trenches and knew what she was talking about and decided also not to vax. Even though she worked with covid patients and admitted it was horrific, she still refused the vaccine, so they figured she knew what she was talking about. For the record, as of January 2021, half of the doctors and nurses at her hospital had also refused the vaccine, even though the hospital had enough doses for all personnel . My brother figured who would know better? The news media, where there is so much misinformation, or their neighbor and her doctor friends who worked with covid patients every day? Of course, my brother now has covid and is hospitalized. He’s pretty sick. They are all rethinking the vaccine, but it may be too late for him. Did he make the right choice? Obviously not. Did he have valid information he felt he could trust? Yes. Nobody in his family is a “rabid anti vaxer.” They just felt they were informed by a knowledgeable person.

The hard part for me is that I did discuss the vaccine with them, but didn’t push it too much, because if one of them died from the vaccine, it would be my fault. It had to be their decision.

For the record, I know two people who died from the vaccine. One was a 16 year old girl. Had the first vaccine (I don’t know which one) and died the next day. Another one is the ex wife of a friend. Same situation, had the vaccine and died the next day. Both were healthy, as far as they knew. Of course they must have had an underlying condition of some kind, but if it was unknown, then how do I know if I have an unknown condition? Needless to say, the family of the 16 year old are not vaccinating any more of their children. Do you blame them?

I’m also know a 10:year old boy who developed severe myocarditis after his first vaccine. Again, who knows if he had some underlying weakness? But his health is now seriously compromised. His family feels huge guilt for allowing the vaccine. Interesting that I noticed when I signed the release for the booster, I had to check a box that I’d had no previous issue with myocarditis. I was not asked that for my first and second vaccines. How many people were compromised by the vaccine earlier in the “vaccine trials” we have all participated in, because research didn’t know about that possible side affect?

Lastly, I have a friend who is a person of color. She and her family do not trust the government as far as health care. The Tuskegee experiments hit very close to home. They have not vaxed as of yet, and I understand their fears. As must as we can all scream “but science!!”, they have very valid reasons for not trusting the institutions behind the science. Do you blame them?

I realize that most of you have no compassion for people like this, but sometimes there is more to the story than MAGA-covid-is-just-the-flu-anti-vax-nutballs. There are real people making what they hope is the best decision for their families. My brother listened to the wrong information. But the people who lost a loved one to the vaccine also feel like they listened to the wrong information.

oh yvonne, I do hope your DD is recovering with just a mild case. In reading the OP, I can see how your heart was hurting over your neighbors. I'm glad there are people who can still muster compassion.

In the beginning, I was hesitant with the vaccine. Even going so far as to say NO WAY! Too fast, too soon. Until I sat down with my good friend, who is the infectious disease person at our hospital. Her life and her family's life changed on March 11, 2020 with patient zero in our state. When I got her information and that this was not new vax base and it was safe, I was all in. I also have some auto-immune issues that really prompted me to get in line for one. I got lucky and got mine earlier than most since a clinic was held here at the church I am employed by and a member of. There were extra doses at the end of the day and I got called. You betcha I stepped up.

However, I had friends and family who watch too much of a certain news channel, DH included. He came around quickly after several talkings to. My SIL and brother, who both are health field people, are vaxxed and had to work hard on my mom to get her to go in. My sibling and wife are exhausted y'all. My brother actually admitted to me and to my mom that he had a gun in his hand at one point. He was just that tired, mentally and physically. Along with other demons that come along with working in the ED for 30 years.

I also work for someone that refused to take this virus seriously. The other staff member here, his wife is the one I spoke of earlier, was all for shutting the doors and doing what we had to do to keep our membership safe. It has been a battle at work to keep everyone safe. Said leader of the church, no mask. Didn't enforce mask wearing. Encouraged but said he would not be the mask police. Until members of our community started dying. All of a sudden there was fake compassion. He still didn't wear a mask and is STILL NOT vaxxed!

I'm sorry, I am tired. I am angry. I am bitter. I have lost 2 close friends and know of several others, in and out of the hospital. I have compassion if you are sick. yes, I admit in the back of mind with a couple I have wondered about vaccination status but would never ask it out loud. I will still take care of a neighbor despite status. But to suggest that we all should be more compassionate and give people a pass, that's a very hard one for me to do. It is something I am working on. A lot of pulls from some personal stuff happening in the home. As said, I am angry and bitter and that just flows into all areas and this virus is one hell of a place to place that anger and bitterness.

I knew at the start of this that's how it would be. Not protecting the most vulnerable

Young, medically disabled, elderly, cognitively disabled, overweight, and the list goes on. You gotta die sometime.

This has been my hell before the pandemic. My son is scared of masks because of all his issues in the last two years. He associates them to torture and then he saw them everywhere. He used to make whimpering sounds when he saw his own parents wearing them.

It took six months for him to wear one and it can't be for a long amount of time. Then you have parents screaming their neurotypical children are suffering and I get it, but I think the parents have no clue how much harder things can be.

Sally can't hang out with her friends. Sally's sports were canceled! Sally can't travel.

Sally has friends. Sally has the ability to play sports. Sally is able to fly on an airplane without having a meltdown. So I go between not giving a flying f*ck about poor Sally and understanding that this is new, scary, and depressing for her.

This is the bench I’m on too. I felt exactly the same way before my kid could get vaccinated. And while I’m so glad now that she is, my stress level has only inched down incrementally as the new variants take over and are more and more contagious.

So as much as I would like to have believed we would be able to just get on with our lives once our kid was vaxxed too, it still doesn’t seem to be the case. Now with Omicron spreading like wildfire, her school is sending home DAILY emails with how many kids in each section of each grade and how many staff have tested positive.

Whoever said the word for 2022 should be “tired” is absolutely correct. I just can’t get over the fact that after all these many months this is where we still are. 😕

I find this EXTREMELY hard to believe. Not that I think you are lying, but they (or their neighbor) are exaggerating to validate their decisions.

There’s no way that 50% of medical professionals at any facility have refused the vaccine.

Also, that was a year ago. A LOT has happened since then.

Notice, I did say as of Jan 2021. there is plenty of online support for this claim. Here’s one:

50 percent of medical staff refusing vaccine

Many of the hospitals in Riverside county terminated employees who didn’t cooperate and get the vaccine. 

Employees terminated


So these employees felt strongly enough about the vaccine to choose to be fired rather than be vaccinated. I’m not defending them, just reporting the facts. 

ETA: these are people my family listened to.  That they were on the front lines, and chose to leave rather than submit to the vaccine. I’m not defending them, just saying.  My family made a choice based on information they were hearing from people seeing covid every day. And yes, again, I said it was Jan 2021, right up front. That’s when they were gathering information to decide about the vaccine.