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Post by lesserknownpea on Jun 25, 2022 0:32:13 GMT
Chris, I hope you don’t let the ignorance and assumptions of a few get you down.
Your post asked “ get mad or quit?” It’s human nature to try to solve someone’s problems, and sadly, it’s also human nature to look from the outside and think you know better what they should be doing.
Shame on you for making the choice to be shot in the eye. Shame on the doctors who did their best but couldn’t fix your eye, much less remove the pain. What was their problem? We all know the human body is not fragile, and is easily repaired when blown to bits. Especially tough parts like eyeballs.
And what were you doing marrying a man who could come down with cancer? You can clearly tell which one will, you know. Who cares if he was kind and loving? And for heavens sake, the stupidity of having a child with mental health problems!! You really should have known better than that.
I’m afraid even I don’t know what to say about the extra costs of moving, deposits, ect. Maybe someone on this board knows the answer to that. I’m sure cheaper apartments are plentiful and easily arranged for someone with your income, it’s not like the application process unfairly rules out those with very little money.
And about working under the table? That clearly makes you pond scum. Get out there, find a job you qualify for that will overlook your limitations, and accept that you must now work in constant pain as well as lose your disability benefits.
Probably the best idea I can come up with is furniture stores often have extra large boxes, and if you decorate with stickers from the dollar store, and find a location away from freeway exhaust and under shade, it might not be all bad. I read online that lots of homeless sign up with Planet Fitness because for 10 bucks a month you have access to showers. ( this is true)
While my post is sarcasm, this thread is a good example of how many decent people become homeless. Have a heart for heaven’s sake.
ETA:
When I read posts from you, I think “ that could so easily be me.” The biggest reason it isn’t is my son, who makes a fair living and has welcomed me into his home, along with his sweet generous wife.
My good friend, exactly my age, is on disability and living in subsidized housing. Which she had to wait a long time to get. Everything is old, grimy, and cheerless, but at least she has a home. She’s also so alone. I visit and spend as much time as I can, but she’s two hours away from me. I drive home after each visit with a lump in my throat, reflecting on how unfair it is that this is her life. She worked hard, was a good wife and a selfless mother. Now she has stage 4 cancer and Parkinson’s. Everything in her life is difficult. I’ve bawled many a times seeing the bruises and scrapes from falling. And things are only going to get harder and more heart breaking.
please find what joy you can from your kitties, your DD, and do whatever you can to treat yourself, whether it’s a special food or drink, or favorite song.
We care, we really do, and are hoping that things get better.
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Post by imkat on Jun 25, 2022 1:16:47 GMT
I haven't read all of the comments but I think it is reasonable that you have a contract with parents that discusses time off, etc. When going to an in-home daycare there are a lot of stipulations regarding time off, what is paid and what isn't, etc and I don't see why you shouldn't have the same. I also think it is pretty crappy of them not to give you more warning. I would talk to them about that and let them know that is really a hardship for you. Then I would start looking for a different job in case you need one. What good is a contract for a job that is paid under the table-it's not like you can sue the person you are working for. Just because it likely wouldn’t hold up in court, there is benefit in documenting and discussing expectations on both sides. If you stay in this line of work, I would definitely look into that. Sorry you are going through this. What shitty people. |
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Post by Really Red on Jun 25, 2022 1:45:08 GMT
I am saddened and disgusted at many of these comments. @bergdorfblonde is trying to do what she can. This system in the US is designed to keep poor people down. Medical bills bankrupt many good people. This month alone, I have nearly $3000 in medical bills and I am a very healthy person. We all see what credit card debt does to us. We tell people to get jobs, but the jobs do not pay enough to cover transportation and living costs. This, while many CEOs are earning so much money it beggars belief.
SO much is wrong with this country and we are telling someone who wants to work and is working through a disability and dealing with a lot of personal pain that she's not doing enough or doing it the "right" way. All the while CEOs are encouraging shady and illegal practices to keep their profits up. In fact, these practices kill people. Look at Phillip Morris or pretty much any drug company.
It is easy to put the blame on one person who didn't do everything exactly perfectly. But it's sort of like getting mad at someone who takes a pen from a bank compared to someone who steals millions from that bank. Why are we angry with the pen thief? Because we can imagine it clearer?
It is seriously shameful that @bergdorfblonde has to go through this and isn't treated well by the government; let's be better than our country for her.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by samantha25 on Jun 25, 2022 1:49:24 GMT
Shouldn't an employer file a 1099 if services rendered were over $600? If so, this may help with getting paid sick/vacation days from the employer. Sorry your options are limited.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by basketdiva on Jun 25, 2022 2:08:59 GMT
Shouldn't an employer file a 1099 if services rendered were over $600? If so, this may help with getting paid sick/vacation days from the employer. Sorry your options are limited. She is working for cash therefore gets no 1099 and also no right to paid sick/vacation days. |
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Post by elaine on Jun 25, 2022 3:14:08 GMT
If this is truly the case, then you simply need to start looking for work immediately. Of course the expectation will be, once you go back to work after the 6 weeks, that you will watch both children - at least part time while mom goes to get her hair done, or goes grocery shopping, or wants to go to lunch with friends, etc. And then, when her family leave is used up 2.5 months after you come back, the expectation will almost certainly be that you will watch both children full time. There would be no reason to pay a nanny for only 1 child and expect grandparents to provide free daycare for the second child. If you won’t watch both children - even for a pay raise, which of course would be necessary - then they will probably find a nanny who is willing to watch 2 children full-time. The older child is still 4 years out from public school, if she is only 14 months now in June, and they will need a nanny for 2 children for those 4 years. From a parental perspective, it wouldn’t make any sense to keep on a nanny who is only interested in watching 1 of their 2 children. The situation stinks, but it sounds like was only postponing the inevitable job-search if you only had 2 weeks off. The job description is changing substantially and you have honestly shared that you don’t want what the new job will be. All good points, HOWEVER, I got the job and she was already pregnant. NO MENTION of the upcoming baby and NO QUESTIONS about if I'd consider taking on watching a brand new baby + a VERY active little one. I'd have said, "No thanks." Watching this one 14 (actually 15 mo old now) baby girl is a feat in itself, and the parents know it!!! Even her grandparents admit that "it's too much" to watch her.
I had no idea what the mom was going to do with the baby boy once he was born. NO IDEA. She didn't discuss it with me. She didn't ask me, and she didn't give me any inkling of what they pictured for the 2 children. At the initial interview, they really should have asked me, because I would have said NO, and I had many other interviews to go on. It's a shame.
To this day, this hasn't been discussed with me. I'm assuming that the mom will do what she did with the first baby. She had 4 months' paid leave and then she kept her in a HUGE playpen all day until she couldn't handle her baby anymore at 10 months old (which is why she began interviewing Nannies).
This 15 mo old baby still takes her morning nap **ON ME**. The parents told me that it's "easier" this way. The mom's parents told me that it's "weird" and they've tried to change it, but it's been impossible. I've urged the parents to change this habit and they said, "good luck". So, I don't see how anyone would be juggling a newborn + this 15 mo girl who naps on people (and thrashes a lot just to get comfortable). Sounds impossible. I've never dealt with a situation like this in my life!
Also, the 15 mo old baby has slept with the parents until just about 4 months ago. I'm wondering how she'd deal with the new baby taking her place in bed with them. I know she'll be PISSED. She has a bad temper and she thinks that she could get whatever she wants. A nightmare ahead. I'll be searching and trying to figure out what to do about my phone today. If I did ever drink, today would be a great day to drink!! LOL.
They certainly haven’t treated you fairly. I would be upset and angry if I were you! And, you know that you don’t want to watch two very young children. Whether they have explicitly stated that the expectation will be that you watch both children after #2 is born, I would assume that is what they are planning. And I would guess that they would be surprised if you told them you thought it the future work situation would be anything otherwise. It is 100% perfectly acceptable to NOT want to nanny two children under the age of 2. I wouldn’t be willing to do it either. There is nothing wrong with that. AND - to be clear - THAT is what the job will be after you go back to work there (if you go back to work there). If you don’t want that “new” job (well, new job description & duties at same worksite), you need to face that (after being justifiably pissed with how they have treated you in terms of letting you know about when they would need you) and just move on with your job search. You don’t need to feel bad about not wanting the job that yours is turning into. You certainly don’t owe that family anything in terms of loyalty or consideration. I’m sorry that it didn’t turn out as you hoped it would. You have given your heart to that little girl! ❤️ |
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by samantha25 on Jun 25, 2022 4:10:24 GMT
Shouldn't an employer file a 1099 if services rendered were over $600? If so, this may help with getting paid sick/vacation days from the employer. Sorry your options are limited. She is working for cash therefore gets no 1099 and also no right to paid sick/vacation days. So shouldn't these rules apply (see below), no to give nanny a 1099 (I was mistaken) but W-2 as should be considered as an employee, paid over $2400/year and should have Federal and State taxes contributed by the employer and employee? Also, to protect the worker a contract could be written to include paid vacation/sick days. I'm pretty sure working for cash, more than the allotted amount could get both parties in trouble, especially if showing a trail online. Just commenting and not judging. I'm working with doing taxes and accounting for my DH's new company and have been learning about employee compensation and what forms need to be reported.
give-nanny-1099, gtm.com/household/give-nanny-1099/One of the most common questions (and misunderstandings) surrounding household employment is whether a family can provide their nanny a 1099 at tax time and consider them an independent contractor rather than a household employee. The short answer is “no.” Here’s why and answers to other questions you may have. One of the most common questions (and misunderstandings) surrounding household employment is whether a family can provide their nanny a Form 1099-MISC (or 1099-NEC) at tax time and consider them an independent contractor rather than a household employee. The short answer is “no.” You can’t give your nanny a 1099. Here’s why and answers to other questions you may have. What is Form 1099? Form 1099 is used to report certain types of miscellaneous (Form 1099-MISC) or non-employee (Form 1099-NEC) compensation. Non-employee compensation generally includes independent contractors, freelancers, sole proprietors, and self-employed individuals. Before the 2020 tax year, these types of compensation were reported on Form 1099-MISC. But now Form 1099-NEC is used for non-employee pay. These forms generally report payments made “in the course of your business” and not your personal payments. Wages paid to a nanny are not considered business-related so Form-1099 does not apply to household employment. Is my nanny an independent contractor or self-employed? Independent contractors are hired to perform a service. However, you do not have control over how the job is done or when and the worker uses their own tools, supplies, and equipment. For example, a small business owner may enlist a graphic designer to create a new logo for their company. The owner may give details on how they want the logo to look and colors to incorporate as well as a deadline for the work to be completed. But the graphic designer controls the creative process, uses their own software programs to work on the logo, and works on the project at times they determine. That graphic designer could be classified by that small business owner as an independent contractor. However, the IRS considers nannies to be employees of the family and not independent contractors. From the IRS website: Household employees include housekeepers, maids, babysitters, gardeners, and others who work in or around your private residence as your employee. Repairmen, plumbers, contractors, and other business people who provide their services as independent contractors, are not your employees. Household workers are your employees if you can control not only the work they do but also how they do it. In general, you are controlling how your nanny’s work is done, setting their schedule, and providing the tools and supplies to do their job. That makes them an employee and not an independent contractor. You are instructing your nanny how you would like your child looked after (feeding times, nap times, discipline, screen time, etc.). They also work according to a schedule you determine, typically when you need to be at your job. And your nanny will use your kitchen and utensils to prepare meals and your stroller to take your child out for walks. Your nanny is not going to care for your child in a way that is against your desires. They are also not going to show up at your home when they are not needed to work. And while they may bring some of their own activities to engage your child, they are mainly relying on your supplies to do their job. The U.S. Department of Labor has also weighed in on employment classification with their employment relationship characteristics. Of note for household employers are “the permanence of the relationship” and economic dependence. When you hire a nanny, they will work for you until the end of the relationship due to a lay-off, termination, or resignation. An independent contractor understands that they will work on a project until completion and that could signal the end of the relationship. Your nanny is also generally dependent on their job with you for financial stability. An independent contractor offers their services to many different businesses often at the same time. If they lose a client, or a project is completed, they have other clients and work to provide income. Classification is not based on whether the nanny works full-time or part-time, how they were hired, or how often they are paid. What are the tax consequences of regarding a nanny as an independent contractor? By treating a nanny, or any other household employee, as an independent contractor, families shift the entire tax burden to the worker and eliminate most of the paperwork and responsibilities that come with being an employer. In an employee-employer relationship, Social Security and Medicare tax obligations (commonly called FICA taxes) are split evenly. Independent contractors, however, pay both the employee and employer shares of FICA taxes. What is Form SS-8? Form SS-8 (Determination of Worker Status for Purposes of Federal Employment Taxes and Income Tax Withholding) can be filed with the IRS to get a ruling on whether your household worker is an employee or independent contractor. It can take up to six months for the IRS to respond to your request. If they confirm that your nanny is an employee, you will still owe employment taxes on all wages paid, not just from the classification determination. Your nanny can also file Form SS-8. If you decide to classify your worker as an independent contractor, they can dispute that decision with the IRS. If a determination is made that your nanny is an employee, you will owe back taxes from the start of employment. What is employee misclassification? Treating your nanny as an independent contractor and not an employee is considered employee misclassification. The IRS deems this tax evasion as you are skipping your employer tax responsibility and leaving the entire obligation to your nanny to pay. What can happen if I give my nanny a 1099? As mentioned, you are committing tax evasion if you give your nanny a 1099. Get caught and you will owe back taxes, interest, and additional fines, which can easily run into thousands of dollars. Your state tax agency will likely find out as well as the IRS, U.S. Department of Labor, state tax agencies have partnered to share information between agencies to help reduce worker misclassification and facilitate enforcement of the law. Also, the IRS has no statute of limitations when auditing false or fraudulent returns, which would include employee misclassification, and collecting back taxes. What tax forms should my nanny receive? You must provide your nanny with Form W-2 if you: Paid them $2,300 or more in 2021 (or will pay them $2,400 or more in 2022) or; Withheld federal taxes regardless of their wages Form W-2 must be provided to your nanny by January 31. A copy of Form W-2 and Form W-3 are submitted to the Social Security Administration by that same date. If you are paying your spouse, a child under the age of 21, parent, or anyone under the age of 18, you do not need to pay or withhold employment taxes. There is no need to supply a W-2 to those workers. However, if you pay someone under the age of 18 $1,000 or more during any calendar quarter, then you are subject to federal unemployment taxes and possibly state unemployment. There is an exception. Wages paid to someone under the age of 18 are counted if “providing household services is the employee’s principal occupation.” If the employee is a student, providing household services isn’t considered to be their principal occupation. For you, file Schedule H with your personal tax return. This form is where you report household employment taxes to the IRS. What taxes are owed when employing a nanny? You will owe 7.65 percent of your nanny’s cash wages in FICA taxes (6.2 percent for Social Security and 1.45 percent for Medicare). You are also required to withhold the same amount from your employee’s pay and remit both shares to the IRS. On top of FICA taxes, you will pay six percent in federal unemployment taxes on the first $7,000 in cash wages. This is an employer-only tax. You will likely owe state unemployment as well. However, you may be able to take a credit against your federal unemployment taxes and reduce that rate to 0.6 percent. While you are not required to withhold federal income tax from your nanny’s pay, it may be a good idea, so they are not stuck with their entire tax obligation when they file their
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lizacreates
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,862
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Post by lizacreates on Jun 25, 2022 4:57:14 GMT
God in heaven. I just read this thread. To those who think @bergdorfblonde is gaming the system, you’re wrong. You don’t receive SSDI unless you’ve paid Social Security taxes prior to your disability. In other words, during her years of regular employment before she became disabled, she paid into the Social Security system and the Medicare system via her FICA taxes.
And if some people think a person can survive on an average of less than $1,500/month SSDI, then y’all need to tell us where you live. That’s why she has to work. And the reason she has to be paid under the table is because with SSDI, you cannot have earned income over $1,350/month. She needs to earn more than that in addition to the benefit so she can pay her rent (especially after the increase), food and all other bills, and I’ll bet there are medical bills that are an albatross around her neck.
So, before jumping to conclusions, know the facts first even if you’re not inclined to extend her some compassion. At least realize that there are tens of millions of people truly struggling. Nobody would wish to be in this situation.
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Post by Skellinton on Jun 25, 2022 5:29:14 GMT
For all of you saying that she should have a contract or such to guarantee she gets sick time, there are only 13 states that require employers to provide sick time. Florida is NOT one of them. She could work at a daycare center or grocery store or any other such place and that doesn’t mean she’ll get paid sick time.
Hell, I work in one of the states that is required to give sick time and it doesn’t even come close to covering the mandatory closures our program takes. We are closed for 5 weeks a year and my pto doesn’t even come close to covering that much time. And because each mandatory closure is only week at a time I can’t even file for unemployment because each time the week off just ends up being my waiting week.
BB getting a job where she is paid over the table isn’t going to magically solve her problems. She still wouldn’t be entitled to sick time in her state.
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Post by guzismom on Jun 25, 2022 12:47:10 GMT
She is working for cash therefore gets no 1099 and also no right to paid sick/vacation days. So shouldn't these rules apply (see below), no to give nanny a 1099 (I was mistaken) but W-2 as should be considered as an employee, paid over $2400/year and should have Federal and State taxes contributed by the employer and employee? Also, to protect the worker a contract could be written to include paid vacation/sick days. I'm pretty sure working for cash, more than the allotted amount could get both parties in trouble, especially if showing a trail online. Just commenting and not judging. I'm working with doing taxes and accounting for my DH's new company and have been learning about employee compensation and what forms need to be reported.
give-nanny-1099, gtm.com/household/give-nanny-1099/One of the most common questions (and misunderstandings) surrounding household employment is whether a family can provide their nanny a 1099 at tax time and consider them an independent contractor rather than a household employee. The short answer is “no.” Here’s why and answers to other questions you may have. One of the most common questions (and misunderstandings) surrounding household employment is whether a family can provide their nanny a Form 1099-MISC (or 1099-NEC) at tax time and consider them an independent contractor rather than a household employee. The short answer is “no.” You can’t give your nanny a 1099. Here’s why and answers to other questions you may have. What is Form 1099? Form 1099 is used to report certain types of miscellaneous (Form 1099-MISC) or non-employee (Form 1099-NEC) compensation. Non-employee compensation generally includes independent contractors, freelancers, sole proprietors, and self-employed individuals. Before the 2020 tax year, these types of compensation were reported on Form 1099-MISC. But now Form 1099-NEC is used for non-employee pay. These forms generally report payments made “in the course of your business” and not your personal payments. Wages paid to a nanny are not considered business-related so Form-1099 does not apply to household employment. Is my nanny an independent contractor or self-employed? Independent contractors are hired to perform a service. However, you do not have control over how the job is done or when and the worker uses their own tools, supplies, and equipment. For example, a small business owner may enlist a graphic designer to create a new logo for their company. The owner may give details on how they want the logo to look and colors to incorporate as well as a deadline for the work to be completed. But the graphic designer controls the creative process, uses their own software programs to work on the logo, and works on the project at times they determine. That graphic designer could be classified by that small business owner as an independent contractor. However, the IRS considers nannies to be employees of the family and not independent contractors. From the IRS website: Household employees include housekeepers, maids, babysitters, gardeners, and others who work in or around your private residence as your employee. Repairmen, plumbers, contractors, and other business people who provide their services as independent contractors, are not your employees. Household workers are your employees if you can control not only the work they do but also how they do it. In general, you are controlling how your nanny’s work is done, setting their schedule, and providing the tools and supplies to do their job. That makes them an employee and not an independent contractor. You are instructing your nanny how you would like your child looked after (feeding times, nap times, discipline, screen time, etc.). They also work according to a schedule you determine, typically when you need to be at your job. And your nanny will use your kitchen and utensils to prepare meals and your stroller to take your child out for walks. Your nanny is not going to care for your child in a way that is against your desires. They are also not going to show up at your home when they are not needed to work. And while they may bring some of their own activities to engage your child, they are mainly relying on your supplies to do their job. The U.S. Department of Labor has also weighed in on employment classification with their employment relationship characteristics. Of note for household employers are “the permanence of the relationship” and economic dependence. When you hire a nanny, they will work for you until the end of the relationship due to a lay-off, termination, or resignation. An independent contractor understands that they will work on a project until completion and that could signal the end of the relationship. Your nanny is also generally dependent on their job with you for financial stability. An independent contractor offers their services to many different businesses often at the same time. If they lose a client, or a project is completed, they have other clients and work to provide income. Classification is not based on whether the nanny works full-time or part-time, how they were hired, or how often they are paid. What are the tax consequences of regarding a nanny as an independent contractor? By treating a nanny, or any other household employee, as an independent contractor, families shift the entire tax burden to the worker and eliminate most of the paperwork and responsibilities that come with being an employer. In an employee-employer relationship, Social Security and Medicare tax obligations (commonly called FICA taxes) are split evenly. Independent contractors, however, pay both the employee and employer shares of FICA taxes. What is Form SS-8? Form SS-8 (Determination of Worker Status for Purposes of Federal Employment Taxes and Income Tax Withholding) can be filed with the IRS to get a ruling on whether your household worker is an employee or independent contractor. It can take up to six months for the IRS to respond to your request. If they confirm that your nanny is an employee, you will still owe employment taxes on all wages paid, not just from the classification determination. Your nanny can also file Form SS-8. If you decide to classify your worker as an independent contractor, they can dispute that decision with the IRS. If a determination is made that your nanny is an employee, you will owe back taxes from the start of employment. What is employee misclassification? Treating your nanny as an independent contractor and not an employee is considered employee misclassification. The IRS deems this tax evasion as you are skipping your employer tax responsibility and leaving the entire obligation to your nanny to pay. What can happen if I give my nanny a 1099? As mentioned, you are committing tax evasion if you give your nanny a 1099. Get caught and you will owe back taxes, interest, and additional fines, which can easily run into thousands of dollars. Your state tax agency will likely find out as well as the IRS, U.S. Department of Labor, state tax agencies have partnered to share information between agencies to help reduce worker misclassification and facilitate enforcement of the law. Also, the IRS has no statute of limitations when auditing false or fraudulent returns, which would include employee misclassification, and collecting back taxes. What tax forms should my nanny receive? You must provide your nanny with Form W-2 if you: Paid them $2,300 or more in 2021 (or will pay them $2,400 or more in 2022) or; Withheld federal taxes regardless of their wages Form W-2 must be provided to your nanny by January 31. A copy of Form W-2 and Form W-3 are submitted to the Social Security Administration by that same date. If you are paying your spouse, a child under the age of 21, parent, or anyone under the age of 18, you do not need to pay or withhold employment taxes. There is no need to supply a W-2 to those workers. However, if you pay someone under the age of 18 $1,000 or more during any calendar quarter, then you are subject to federal unemployment taxes and possibly state unemployment. There is an exception. Wages paid to someone under the age of 18 are counted if “providing household services is the employee’s principal occupation.” If the employee is a student, providing household services isn’t considered to be their principal occupation. For you, file Schedule H with your personal tax return. This form is where you report household employment taxes to the IRS. What taxes are owed when employing a nanny? You will owe 7.65 percent of your nanny’s cash wages in FICA taxes (6.2 percent for Social Security and 1.45 percent for Medicare). You are also required to withhold the same amount from your employee’s pay and remit both shares to the IRS. On top of FICA taxes, you will pay six percent in federal unemployment taxes on the first $7,000 in cash wages. This is an employer-only tax. You will likely owe state unemployment as well. However, you may be able to take a credit against your federal unemployment taxes and reduce that rate to 0.6 percent. While you are not required to withhold federal income tax from your nanny’s pay, it may be a good idea, so they are not stuck with their entire tax obligation when they file their
Everything you posted here MAY BE TRUE...but they are not 'playing by the rules', so none of this applies. You can repeat it and say 'it should be THIS WAY' a hundred times, but that doesn't make it so. Many, many people in the US skirt the rules and work 'under the table'. But as we can see from the OP's situation, sometimes not playing by the rules ends up going south and unfortunately she has no legal recourse when it does. Bergdorf...regardless of 'perceived poor choices' (noted by others, not by me), I hope you are able to find employment soon; it stinks that there are people out there who think it is ok to treat other human beings this way. |
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Post by mom on Jun 25, 2022 13:37:58 GMT
For all of you saying that she should have a contract or such to guarantee she gets sick time, there are only 13 states that require employers to provide sick time. Florida is NOT one of them. She could work at a daycare center or grocery store or any other such place and that doesn’t mean she’ll get paid sick time. Hell, I work in one of the states that is required to give sick time and it doesn’t even come close to covering the mandatory closures our program takes. We are closed for 5 weeks a year and my pto doesn’t even come close to covering that much time. And because each mandatory closure is only week at a time I can’t even file for unemployment because each time the week off just ends up being my waiting week. BB getting a job where she is paid over the table isn’t going to magically solve her problems. She still wouldn’t be entitled to sick time in her state. I cant speak for the others, but my comment about having a contract was so that she knows --- in black and white --- what is expected of her, what she will be doing (caring for only 1 vs 2), pay, and yes, if she will get paid time off. BB has said that this family communicates horribly and quite frankly, I am surprised this hasn't gone sideways before now. All BB has is the family's 'word' that she was going to get paid what they verbally agreed to. A contract could protect BB on so many levels. |
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Post by Skellinton on Jun 25, 2022 14:16:49 GMT
For all of you saying that she should have a contract or such to guarantee she gets sick time, there are only 13 states that require employers to provide sick time. Florida is NOT one of them. She could work at a daycare center or grocery store or any other such place and that doesn’t mean she’ll get paid sick time. Hell, I work in one of the states that is required to give sick time and it doesn’t even come close to covering the mandatory closures our program takes. We are closed for 5 weeks a year and my pto doesn’t even come close to covering that much time. And because each mandatory closure is only week at a time I can’t even file for unemployment because each time the week off just ends up being my waiting week. BB getting a job where she is paid over the table isn’t going to magically solve her problems. She still wouldn’t be entitled to sick time in her state. I cant speak for the others, but my comment about having a contract was so that she knows --- in black and white --- what is expected of her, what she will be doing (caring for only 1 vs 2), pay, and yes, if she will get paid time off. BB has said that this family communicates horribly and quite frankly, I am surprised this hasn't gone sideways before now. All BB has is the family's 'word' that she was going to get paid what they verbally agreed to. A contract could protect BB on so many levels. I completely agree with the contract and having it spelled out, but there are several peas saying if she was working above the table she would be getting sick time, which is simply not true. I do think even if it is unusual in her area she should have something in writing before accepting another job. |
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Post by pepperwood on Jun 25, 2022 14:39:31 GMT
God in heaven. I just read this thread. To those who think @bergdorfblonde is gaming the system, you’re wrong. You don’t receive SSDI unless you’ve paid Social Security taxes prior to your disability. In other words, during her years of regular employment before she became disabled, she paid into the Social Security system and the Medicare system via her FICA taxes. And if some people think a person can survive on an average of less than $1,500/month SSDI, then y’all need to tell us where you live. That’s why she has to work. And the reason she has to be paid under the table is because with SSDI, you cannot have earned income over $1,350/month. She needs to earn more than that in addition to the benefit so she can pay her rent (especially after the increase), food and all other bills, and I’ll bet there are medical bills that are an albatross around her neck. So, before jumping to conclusions, know the facts first even if you’re not inclined to extend her some compassion. At least realize that there are tens of millions of people truly struggling. Nobody would wish to be in this situation. I highlighted the statement that SS recipients can earn up to $1,350/month without losing their benefits. I don't know how much BB is earning from the Nanny job or her full financial picture, but she might be better off finding a job that isn't under the table that would give her some legal protection (especially workers' compensation). If she were injured on her current job, she would have no recourse for her medical expenses or lost wages. She might be able to work fewer hours and eliminate the expensive long commute. |
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Post by ChicagoKTS on Jun 26, 2022 12:07:56 GMT
I think the word “contract” might scare some people in the circumstances where someone is working off the books. I suggest the prospective employee prepare a detailed statement of expectations of the duties they are prepared to perform during work time. I would also include the times you will be on duty, on a break, your rate of pay, if you call-in sick if you will be paid or unpaid, if the employer will pay you if they cancel your services for a day or a longer period. So on and so on. State all you expectations of the job.
Then request the employer to prepare the same sort of list of their expectations. I would expect some negotiation with give and take on both sides. Then both sides can decide whether to go forward with the position but at least both sides will know the rules.
I fully understand your position and desperate financial times. But please don’t go into a job interview and spill your whole story. Be professional, state your abilities and qualifications. By giving them your full situation and recent history, you are setting yourself up to be either hired by some you sees you as a desperate person who can easily be taken advantage of which appears to me the situation you are in. Or the other side, you won’t get the position because someone is going to project you have a lot of baggage they will not want to deal with while you’re in their employment.
Good luck. Go forward with your head held high, confident in your abilities and present yourself as such.
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Post by birukitty on Jun 26, 2022 20:52:06 GMT
christine58 Sometimes the truth being spelled out looks rude, but I am not being rude. Just how many peas have gifted @bergdorfblonde gift cards, grocery cards, Amazon cards and many other things over the past year or so? This is hard-earned money that has been taxed. Now she is trying to be making money without paying taxes on it. Many people *think* that they can make more money *under the table* but really, when you set up your own business, you can have many right-offs, such as office space, cell-phone expenses, $per mile driven and more. It takes time & research. This is scheming the system and is illegal, at least in Canada. Yes, I know that many do use this scheme in Canada but much to the detriment of everyone. The OP has made very poor choices in her life and is now realizing that there are consequences to her choices. That said and done, she should get financial counselling about how to improve her financial situation and also about getting into more affordable housing. I don't know anything at all about the *gov't issued cell-phone*. I would strongly recommend that @bergdorfblonde go to a Senior government center and get counselling about her individual situation and that her DD also get independent counselling. There may be new programmes out there that they are unaware of or get on a list for more affordable housing. Start selling all of the *stuff* that had been previously purchased or gifted and or simply get-rid of it to ease the work of when they need to do. This is hard work. I've had to do this, sell, purge, donate things, lots of things, in order to put order into my life. Even her DD could help with this. I am not being rude, I am being real and factual; I have a very different approach to issues than most peas. I don't mind hand-holding as long as the hand that I am holding is really doing more than whining and flipping the responsibility to the people who seem to have more money than she has and she seems to feel entitled to their money. Also, the father who is taking his paternity leave is entitled to his paternity leave. It isn't dishonest to quit his job after this leave as he has paid into the *pot* from where this money comes from. Many dads and moms in Canada who have paid into the paid paternity and maternity leaves do not return to their jobs. Simply because paid paternity/maternity leaves seem to be abnormal to Americans, if you follow the rules, there isn't usually an obligation to return to work afterwards as you pre-pay into these plans. I have said what I need to say. I wish @bergdorfblonde the best in her life. You are Canadian and in Canada you have Universal Health care that is completely opposite of the health care system in the USA. Consider yourself extremely lucky. Most of us living here in the USA would love to have the kind of health care other 1st world countries have, but we don't. It means often times that even though one might do everything "right" in their lives out of nowhere you can become ill with a disease (like cancer) that ends up bankrupting you. It happens everyday to good people who have done nothing wrong. Your post is completely rude and cruel. BB has made "very poor choices in her life" you wrote. Like what? Getting hit in the eye with a BB gun as a teen and undergoing 50 surgeries since then only to still be in constant, debilitating pain? Marrying a kind man who ended up getting cancer? There is no affordable housing for low income, desperate people. Yes, technically it exists on paper, but states have waiting lists that are several years long. BB can't wait 5 or more years for low income housing-she needs help now. From the years on here that I've read her posts and gotten to know her she is an extremely intelligent, hard worker. I have chronic migraines and haven't worked in years (luckily for me my husband makes enough to support us) and I can't imagine doing the work BB has been doing for the past 5 months in her nanny position + the 3 hour long commute. It's difficult to even function when you are in chronic pain much less have to work full time+commute and all while she has still been grieving for her husband. BB also gets migraines almost daily on top of her other chronic pain. And now this? Way to kick someone when they are down. |
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Post by birukitty on Jun 26, 2022 21:20:36 GMT
Chris I am so very sorry that you are going through this. Please ignore the rude and ignorant people who wrote those posts. They haven't got a clue as to what you are dealing with.
If there is anything I can do, please let me know.
I think the family you've been nannying for have taken complete advantage of you. They don't care about you-all they want is the excellent care you're providing for their daughter at the cheapest rate. You are between a rock and a hard place and they know it. I think looking for a cheaper place to live might be a great idea-it will take some of the burden off of you from having to scrape every single penny.
Would your family be wiling to help you move to L.I. now? You've gone out and worked full-time even though your health doesn't permit it. You've done the very best you can for the past 6 months. Have you considered contacting your sister and letting her know what's going on? Geez, if you were my sister I'd have you moved into my own home by now!
I wish you the very best of luck and please do let us know if there is anything at all we can do. We care about you very much.
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Post by silverlining on Jun 26, 2022 22:04:08 GMT
christine58 Sometimes the truth being spelled out looks rude, but I am not being rude. Just how many peas have gifted @bergdorfblonde gift cards, grocery cards, Amazon cards and many other things over the past year or so? This is hard-earned money that has been taxed. Now she is trying to be making money without paying taxes on it. Many people *think* that they can make more money *under the table* but really, when you set up your own business, you can have many right-offs, such as office space, cell-phone expenses, $per mile driven and more. It takes time & research. This is scheming the system and is illegal, at least in Canada. Yes, I know that many do use this scheme in Canada but much to the detriment of everyone. The OP has made very poor choices in her life and is now realizing that there are consequences to her choices. That said and done, she should get financial counselling about how to improve her financial situation and also about getting into more affordable housing. I don't know anything at all about the *gov't issued cell-phone*. I would strongly recommend that @bergdorfblonde go to a Senior government center and get counselling about her individual situation and that her DD also get independent counselling. There may be new programmes out there that they are unaware of or get on a list for more affordable housing. Start selling all of the *stuff* that had been previously purchased or gifted and or simply get-rid of it to ease the work of when they need to do. This is hard work. I've had to do this, sell, purge, donate things, lots of things, in order to put order into my life. Even her DD could help with this. I am not being rude, I am being real and factual; I have a very different approach to issues than most peas. I don't mind hand-holding as long as the hand that I am holding is really doing more than whining and flipping the responsibility to the people who seem to have more money than she has and she seems to feel entitled to their money. Also, the father who is taking his paternity leave is entitled to his paternity leave. It isn't dishonest to quit his job after this leave as he has paid into the *pot* from where this money comes from. Many dads and moms in Canada who have paid into the paid paternity and maternity leaves do not return to their jobs. Simply because paid paternity/maternity leaves seem to be abnormal to Americans, if you follow the rules, there isn't usually an obligation to return to work afterwards as you pre-pay into these plans. I have said what I need to say. I wish @bergdorfblonde the best in her life. You are Canadian and in Canada you have Universal Health care that is completely opposite of the health care system in the USA. Consider yourself extremely lucky. Most of us living here in the USA would love to have the kind of health care other 1st world countries have, but we don't. It means often times that even though one might do everything "right" in their lives out of nowhere you can become ill with a disease (like cancer) that ends up bankrupting you. It happens everyday to good people who have done nothing wrong. Your post is completely rude and cruel. BB has made "very poor choices in her life" you wrote. Like what? Getting hit in the eye with a BB gun as a teen and undergoing 50 surgeries since then only to still be in constant, debilitating pain? Marrying a kind man who ended up getting cancer? There is no affordable housing for low income, desperate people. Yes, technically it exists on paper, but states have waiting lists that are several years long. BB can't wait 5 or more years for low income housing-she needs help now. From the years on here that I've read her posts and gotten to know her she is an extremely intelligent, hard worker. I have chronic migraines and haven't worked in years (luckily for me my husband makes enough to support us) and I can't imagine doing the work BB has been doing for the past 5 months in her nanny position + the 3 hour long commute. It's difficult to even function when you are in chronic pain much less have to work full time+commute and all while she has still been grieving for her husband. BB also gets migraines almost daily on top of her other chronic pain. And now this? Way to kick someone when they are down. |
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Post by scrappintoee on Jun 30, 2022 13:40:44 GMT
@bergdorfblonde .... How are you doing ? I just hate that you have soooo much stress!  |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jun 30, 2022 13:59:46 GMT
I think the word “contract” might scare some people in the circumstances where someone is working off the books. I suggest the prospective employee prepare a detailed statement of expectations of the duties they are prepared to perform during work time. I would also include the times you will be on duty, on a break, your rate of pay, if you call-in sick if you will be paid or unpaid, if the employer will pay you if they cancel your services for a day or a longer period. So on and so on. State all you expectations of the job. Then request the employer to prepare the same sort of list of their expectations. I would expect some negotiation with give and take on both sides. Then both sides can decide whether to go forward with the position but at least both sides will know the rules. I fully understand your position and desperate financial times. But please don’t go into a job interview and spill your whole story. Be professional, state your abilities and qualifications. By giving them your full situation and recent history, you are setting yourself up to be either hired by some you sees you as a desperate person who can easily be taken advantage of which appears to me the situation you are in. Or the other side, you won’t get the position because someone is going to project you have a lot of baggage they will not want to deal with while you’re in their employment. Good luck. Go forward with your head held high, confident in your abilities and present yourself as such. This is probably the best advice I've read in this thread. @bergdorfblonde - We'd love an update on how you are doing. Have you heard anything else from them? |
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Post by smasonnc on Jun 30, 2022 14:02:06 GMT
Wow. This board is getting as vicious as the old 2peas NSBR. So many people looking to pick a fight. Why would people pile on when someone has been going through hard times as Bergdorf Blonde has? I hope it makes you feel really good about yourselves. Hats off to those of you who have been kind to her.
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 30, 2022 14:03:16 GMT
I feel for the tough spot you're in right now and I hope you are able to quickly find something to make up this sudden loss.
My only advice is to try not to harbor any thoughts or feelings against this family. These are particularly difficult days for all of us in general, and the time of a new birth (and ill and fractured family coming together more often because of it) is a time of additional stress.
They just might not have the resources that they anticipated for you to come back sooner. A family's financial status can change dramatically and very quickly when times are good and the economy steady. This is not that time. There very easily could be some difficulty that not only you were unaware of, but maybe even the woman you work for didn't know about when she first told you she wouldn't need you for two weeks.
Since you're considering not going back anyway, you might consider telling her that you had planned your budget around having only two weeks off and ask her if she has any recommendations for what you can do during that additional time. You'll never know if you don't ask.
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Posts: 4,053
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Post by Olan on Jun 30, 2022 14:10:06 GMT
I bet she is really excited to come back and give an update. Especially so she can receive more helpful and heartfelt advice from women she believes she is in community with.
Remember when we all donated so Liz could take that once in a lifetime Disney trip? It was such a worthy cause that everyone who could donate did.
To be financially able to give but instead offer your helpful advice must have really warmed this grieving widows heart. Y’all are such a solid supportive group of ladies!
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Post by questioning on Jun 30, 2022 14:27:11 GMT
Since you're considering not going back anyway, you might consider telling her that you had planned your budget around having only two weeks off and ask her if she has any recommendations for what you can do during that additional time. You'll never know if you don't ask. Excellent idea! The parents might have been so wrapped up in their own world they hadn't considered impact on you. Jerky behavior but not relationship ending if they can repair it. And they might know of families unexpectedly needing someone short term. There's really no downside to the conversation. At worst, you will have voiced your needs and know you stood up for yourself! |
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 30, 2022 14:56:18 GMT
My time for this today is short, so I've only read some of the posts on page 5... lesserknownpea - your sarcasm was dead on, and so was your ETA elaine - You summed up the future situation so well! This is an entirely different scenario than I had pictured from the OP alone, and @bergdorfblonde , looks like working for this family is only going to become more and more complicated. If you do choose to go back to take care of the older child (and only the older child), take a good long look at samantha 's post on the tax laws on the books to protect people in your position and use them to come up with something more definitive in writing to present to the family. I didn't understand just how much you were responsible for, @bergdorfblonde , and that absolutely makes a tremendous difference in what you can reasonably expect as due you from your employer. I fully understand your position and desperate financial times. But please don’t go into a job interview and spill your whole story. Be professional, state your abilities and qualifications. By giving them your full situation and recent history, you are setting yourself up to be either hired by some you sees you as a desperate person who can easily be taken advantage of which appears to me the situation you are in. Or the other side, you won’t get the position because someone is going to project you have a lot of baggage they will not want to deal with while you’re in their employment. Such good advice for all of us! Your entire post was to proceed logically and clearly.  @bergdorfblonde , I don't know about you, but this becomes more difficult for me during times of stress. If you have any friend or contact who is level-headed that you feel comfortable with, this would be a good time to ask if they could help you out here, and you could begin by going back to Chicago's post as a guide. At least realize that there are tens of millions of people truly struggling. Nobody would wish to be in this situation. Amen |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2022 17:08:50 GMT
I just wanted to quickly pop on here to thank those whom have contacted me or posted here with support and with good ideas. Believe me, I've taken them into consideration. But please know that I've been doing Nannying for many years (on and off) and I've had dozens of families I've helped just in FL. I know how it goes.
As for the particular family (esp the mom) that I'm with, I have to say that they've been VERY supportive and helpful from the start. I had to open up and tell them that this was my first job after my husband passed, and I was still grieving. They were caring, and they also gave me time and did care when 4 of our cats got ill and died. I know how much I was needed, but they encouraged me to "take the time I needed" (meaning a few hours) while letting go of each cat. I appreciate that. The family has good qualities along with nutty ones. I ALWAYS have to weigh it out because I'm in the vulnerable position of being in someone's house (they're usually home) and I don't know what to expect.
I haven't gotten in touch with that mom since the day I left, because my cellphone died (thanks to the 15 mo old and her excess drooling-she did the same to their Roku that day!). I don't have any other way of contacting them. I didn't store her number anywhere else. Hopefully I'll be getting the replacement phone today or tomorrow and I can reconnect just to congratulate them on the new baby. I'll see what other messages I've missed.
I've gotten asked by a few families to interview for their Nanny positions. I'll see how it plays out. If I could spend less time driving (less than an hour each way), I'd be grateful. I have gotten close to the baby I watch and she is super-attached to me. I love seeing her learn and grow and I'm happy to be a part of that, however, she's a tough one to deal with.
I NEVER would have even socialized so soon after DH passed away, nor think of Nannying. I had to, so we can keep our apartment. We can't move right now. My credit score is shot and now the 2 of us don't make enough to even get a basic apartment. ALL of the prices locally went up, so it wouldn't be worth hiring movers, etc. I've done that 3 times while we're in FL and I know all of the costs to the penny.
Thank you all again. I know I didn't answer all of your suggestions or questions, but it's all I could do for now. I DO appreciate your input, as always. I'm not online a lot & my sister is coming to visit this weekend, so I'm busy trying to do some cleaning. Thanks.
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Post by auntkelly on Jun 30, 2022 18:04:27 GMT
I think this family treated you poorly and I hope you find a better position with a family who values their nanny on a personal and a professional basis.
When my kids were young my biggest priority was quality child care. It was on my mind constantly when I was pregnant with my second child. There is no way I would have casually said to my nanny “oh, I won’t need you for two weeks. Oh actually it turns out I won’t need you for six weeks.” I paid my nanny when I was on maternity leave w/ my second child for six weeks and it was all agreed to by both parties weeks before my second child was born.
They might have treated you well in the past, but it sounds like they are the type who will always do what is best for them without regard to other’s circumstances. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you never hear from them again.
I hope you find a new job that you love and at which you are treated professionally.
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Post by mollycoddle on Jun 30, 2022 18:15:15 GMT
I think the word “contract” might scare some people in the circumstances where someone is working off the books. I suggest the prospective employee prepare a detailed statement of expectations of the duties they are prepared to perform during work time. I would also include the times you will be on duty, on a break, your rate of pay, if you call-in sick if you will be paid or unpaid, if the employer will pay you if they cancel your services for a day or a longer period. So on and so on. State all you expectations of the job. Then request the employer to prepare the same sort of list of their expectations. I would expect some negotiation with give and take on both sides. Then both sides can decide whether to go forward with the position but at least both sides will know the rules. I fully understand your position and desperate financial times. But please don’t go into a job interview and spill your whole story. Be professional, state your abilities and qualifications. By giving them your full situation and recent history, you are setting yourself up to be either hired by some you sees you as a desperate person who can easily be taken advantage of which appears to me the situation you are in. Or the other side, you won’t get the position because someone is going to project you have a lot of baggage they will not want to deal with while you’re in their employment. Good luck. Go forward with your head held high, confident in your abilities and present yourself as such. This is good advice. Never overshare. Ever. The less acquaintances and employers know about your business, the better off you are. I wish you luck. You deserve it. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2022 18:23:09 GMT
I think this family treated you poorly and I hope you find a better position with a family who values their nanny on a personal and a professional basis. When my kids were young my biggest priority was quality child care. It was on my mind constantly when I was pregnant with my second child. There is no way I would have casually said to my nanny “oh, I won’t need you for two weeks. Oh actually it turns out I won’t need you for six weeks.” I paid my nanny when I was on maternity leave w/ my second child for six weeks and it was all agreed to by both parties weeks before my second child was born. They might have treated you well in the past, but it sounds like they are the type who will always do what is best for them without regard to other’s circumstances. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you never hear from them again. I hope you find a new job that you love and at which you are treated professionally. Thank you! I DO agree with what you said. I've never completely gelled with this family. They're a bit "off" to me. Every other family I've Nannied for are still my friends and I still see them occasionally! We've become close. This family, however, is just very different. How the mom casually mentioned the 2 weeks of not working (that day!!) and then switched it up to 6 weeks while I was on my way out the door, is a mystery!!! I wish I had my cellphone and maybe it would answer some questions.
As a Nanny, most families want imput and suggestions and there's a lot of talking so we're on the same page. This family doesn't talk and I have NO CLUE what's going on. Their new baby was coming and I had no idea where he was going to live (there were no more bedrooms). Sharing that child's bedroom would be a game-changer!!! We play/learn, etc., in her bedroom and in their loft. I try to avoid being near the parents' work-offices so that the child won't be crying for them (she doesn't------she didn't want to let go of me every day when I had to go!!). If I'd ask the mom questions about the new baby, etc., she'd give basic answers. It was all very, very strange.
Also, you'd never know that this mom was even pregnant. She didn't show until about 7 or 8 months and only had a small bump. I asked her if they talk to the child about her upcoming sibling. It's something I'd talk about during the day to prepare her more. Again, they didn't bring it up. The mom never talked about it. She wasn't sidelined by any pregnancy limitations AT ALL. Not sure how the child is going to react to her new sibling when he wasn't discussed a lot. Just a weird situation that sets off my radar.
I've been in situations where families needed to cut back on Nanny-time bc they were in a tough financial spot, but they ALL openly discussed it with me and felt sad about losing me. This situation is just strange. I'd never expect to be paid for time off. That's not how it works with housecleaners or workers. But to drop it on me like she did was just weird, and we got along up until I left that day. She was showing me pics on her phone of the child doing cute things, etc..... I just can't figure it out and I'm not sure I'd go back. I'm interviewing for other families.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2022 18:30:07 GMT
I think the word “contract” might scare some people in the circumstances where someone is working off the books. I suggest the prospective employee prepare a detailed statement of expectations of the duties they are prepared to perform during work time. I would also include the times you will be on duty, on a break, your rate of pay, if you call-in sick if you will be paid or unpaid, if the employer will pay you if they cancel your services for a day or a longer period. So on and so on. State all you expectations of the job. Then request the employer to prepare the same sort of list of their expectations. I would expect some negotiation with give and take on both sides. Then both sides can decide whether to go forward with the position but at least both sides will know the rules. I fully understand your position and desperate financial times. But please don’t go into a job interview and spill your whole story. Be professional, state your abilities and qualifications. By giving them your full situation and recent history, you are setting yourself up to be either hired by some you sees you as a desperate person who can easily be taken advantage of which appears to me the situation you are in. Or the other side, you won’t get the position because someone is going to project you have a lot of baggage they will not want to deal with while you’re in their employment. Good luck. Go forward with your head held high, confident in your abilities and present yourself as such. This is good advice. Never overshare. Ever. The less acquaintances and employers know about your business, the better off you are. I wish you luck. You deserve it. I had to be honest about JUST losing my DH. I had to be honest about my Covid status, etc., because they were being careful for the dad's disabled son. In ALL of the families I've nannied for, there's an openness. Some moms I've become close friends with, even outside of work. And, yes, we both share. But most families do ask the basic personal questions (marital status, transportation, children, etc......). I always tout my past performance, offer references and explain that I'm not the average 18 year old who is merely "babysitting". I cater to upscale parents who want their child to be safe and to exceed with their education. I'm always CPR certified and I show them my resume and my certifications.
If I've had urgent situations that came up, of course I'd be honest. I don't go on and whine about being "poor" and a "widow". That's not who I am.
Thank you for the words. I've been proud to keep the bills paid and the rent paid for 7 months now. It's been very tough but there's a sense of accomplishment + I get some affection back from a baby, which is nice right now. I hope I find a family that is more akin to the families I've been with in the past. I can hope........
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uksue
Pearl Clutcher
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Location: London
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Post by uksue on Jun 30, 2022 19:39:09 GMT
What a horrible situation- I'm so sorry. It reminds me once again how lucky I am to live in a country with a proper safety net.
I do think there's an element of ' you teach people how to treat you' here, however.
I had the same brilliant childminder for both my oldest children so that I could return to work as a midwife. I paid her about half my wage . You have to be registered here though, and she basically told me what her pay and terms were and handed me a copy of her contract to read before we went any further- including holiday pay for her.i respected that. She was worth every penny because my children adored her - they had continuity with one care giver, unlike going to a nursery. She worked for me around 10 yrs and we still love her dearly.
You clearly need to find other work as the lack of discussion about the 6 weeks off and no talk of what happens regarding care of the baby strongly suggests to me they are letting you go the cowards way.
Is there any other cash in hand work you can think of? People in this area pay over the odds for evening baby sitters, especially if they are prepared to work really late.
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@bergdorfblonde , I don't know about you, but this becomes more difficult for me during times of stress. If you have any friend or contact who is level-headed that you feel comfortable with, this would be a good time to ask if they could help you out here, and you could begin by going back to Chicago's post as a guide.
