Update 6/27 - My office saga/I'm filing the complaint

I am getting a real chance to prove myself to my boss's boss (same old boss, the new change hasn't changed and I've got wind it might not anyway) as she invited me to a brainstorming session on Tuesday.  My coworker did not show up, nor did she even tell her she wasn't attending.  But I got a chance to sit down and talk with her and my boss about some internal financial matters.  Not management matters, all finance. But at least my contribution seemed valued by her.  There have been a few other instances where I feel like my contribution has been valued by her too.  So there's that. 

But my boss is just continuing on with the same old, same old.  I'm trying to shake off his latest this afternoon. My coworker still not coworking.  She got up some momentum a few weeks ago.  I thought she was coming back and moving forward.  Turns out she did two tasks in less than a week and that was it.  Meanwhile, she took a little vacation and I had to pick up one of those tasks and run with it.  Found out there were errors on what she had been reporting.  So there's that too.  

It's funny because my general mood about this has been a little sad lately.  Sad that I'm clearly going to have to be the one to leave a place I have enjoyed working for all these years.  I've been watching the job postings but I haven't seen anything lately that is on the same level/pay as I am currently working at.  So I am resigned to just keep hanging in there until I can find something better.  I know I'm an eternal optimist, but part of me hopes that there is a change before I have somewhere else to go and I don't have to leave. 

I wanted to update because I know the peas are care about me and really I always enjoy when someone posts that they update what's going on.  Of course, I'm a bit nosey.

But things have continued to spiral downward.  They still have not transitioned the assistant director into being my boss.  He is off right now on FMLA as his daughter has a grave medical issue.  So he's no longer a real player in this game and I'm still reporting to the old boss, the director.  His boss contacted me about 6 weeks ago and asked me if anything had changed with my situation and I reported to her that it hadn't. She seemed disappointed to hear that and said she would continue to see what she could do and that she would follow up with me in a bit. That's how we left it. 

I finally reached my breaking point on Monday.  Last week was terrible.  I was doing my coworker's work left and right as she was no where to be found. On Monday morning she scheduled a meeting with our boss for Monday afternoon.  I was planning to go to the meeting and state in front of him that I wanted a general idea of what hours she was working and that I'd like to be notified when she is out of the office and plans to return.  This is what I planned to say because she was no where to be found on Friday, no away message on her email, nothing, and I had to put out four fires for her.  When I got to the meeting, (our boss did not show up), she was upset, said she had some medical things going on with her husband and that she intended to apply for Intermittent FMLA. I was as gentle as I possibly could be but I asked her if she could put an away message on her email stating she's out and when she plans to return and she told me no.  So, I left the meeting and sat on it for a few days.  

I finally reached out to Human Resources and had a meeting with them yesterday.  I explained the entire situation going on and my attempts to resolve the situation.  He listened and was very sympathetic and suggested that if I filed a written complaint, it would open up an investigation and they should be able to resolve things.  I had told him that I very much liked my work and I have been looking for another job but I really don't want to have to leave.  He sent me the written complaint form.  I did two things.  1) I scheduled a meeting for Monday with my boss's boss.  I figured she has seemed like an ally to me so I was going to be transparent with her about my intention to file a complaint.  Because I have to list everything, I am going to have to disclose I've talked to her about this and she has been the only person in my chain of command who has been sympathetic so I didn't want her to think I was throwing her under the bus. 2) I got another email from one of my coworker's people yesterday so I took it and forwarded it to my boss with yet another complaint.  I laid out for him what I had intended to say and ask for in terms of her working hours because I never know if or when I'm supposed to handle things on her behalf.  I told him that multitudes of people are now putting me on every communication they have with her because she is not serving them.  They are now defaulting to letting me in on everything I should not have to handle because she's so unreliable.  I did this as a last-ditch attempt to get him to address some of these issues before I go ahead and file the complaint.  He said he would call me at 8:30 this morning. 

He called me at 8:30 this morning.  I told him that I'm pretty reliably in the office between 7-3:30 each day.  Sometimes a little earlier and sometimes a little later, but I'm fairly reliable.  I told him that I always tell them when I'm not going to be in during those hours so if anyone needs to step in for me they can.  I told him that I never know when she's working or when she's off.  He stated, well, she's had a lot going on lately.  I responded that these issues have been going on since she came back from her stroke and I'm not convinced at all she's put in a 40 hour week during that entire time.  I told him I had no idea what my role and responsibilities are in regard to helping her do her job.  I told him she gets irritated with me when I step in to help as though I'm stepping on her toes.  I gave him a list of people who add me to all their email requests when I should not be involved at all because they aren't getting responses from her.  And finally I told him that if she applied for FMLA and was off consistently for like 2 months, I would know full well that it was my job to pick up all the slack while she was off, but that if she takes intermittent all it's going to do is make this job worse.  I used the words the HR guy gave me, I told him that I feel like he hasn't made my expectations and her expectations clear and that he isn't fairly applying the same work standards across the board for both of us.  He agreed that at the very least, she should be sending a text message if she's not going to be in the office.  He said he was going to reach out to HR today and see what he has the right to do in regard to making her comply with a consistent work schedule and requiring notification when she was in.  For the first time in the year that I've been complaining, he said, "this isn't fair to you."  I nearly fell off my chair.  He said he'd get back with me by end of day today. So we'll see.

I'm hoping to hear back from him with some kind of plan.  And then I will meet with his boss on Monday.  I have a job interview on Tuesday! (hallelujah) If I get this job, I'm taking it and will not file the HR complaint.  But if not, I'm seriously considering proceeding ahead with the written complaint that will launch an investigation.  I did not want to do this, I do fear retaliation.  Even though HR told me the complaint will remain confidential, I know everyone is going to know who filed it because no one has inside information like I do.  So there is going to be fallout.  I'm just trying to make sure I have turned over every stone possible before dropping this bomb.  And like I said, I will wait until I hear about this job.  Because if I get it, the point is moot.  

So that's my update.  Shitshow.  I know I should have done this sooner but I really had to feel like I was at the end of my rope. 

This makes me feel good to hear you say this.  I have never been in a situation like this before and there seems to be no manual for how to handle things like this.  I've just had to make the best decisions I can as I go.  And it has felt icky from the very start.  I was telling a friend about this and she was like, work is work, it's not personal.  You can't feel bad for thinking what you do is going to hurt her.  She's hurting you and everyone else. She's just not capable of doing the work. 

I can't imagine how I would possibly be the problem here. If anyone questions anything I've done, I've got the receipts to back me up. My boss's boss already knew he was a problem, I just filled in some details for her. He's a mess on numerous levels and if you ask me my opinion, he's going to be the target. He's her target for sure.

With that said, I haven't filed anything yet. And I'm going to wait and see what happens with this interview before I do. It's my hope, that I can just make my exit and leave them behind. If I don't get this job and they do drive me out? Well, then I'll have to rely on karma. Because if I'm gone then everyone is going to get to see who was doing all the work in our unit. I like to put my faith in the good. I like to believe that most people want their organization to work efficiently and with integrity. I'm not willing to believe that if I do file a complaint, they won't be taking some action about what is going on in my corner of the world. Slinking quietly away fixes nothing and like I said, if they push me out, at least maybe something might be taken seriously enough that the next poor sap who takes my job won't be treated the way I have been.

And you're exactly right, they *don't* deserve me. But I have two choices, I can run away or I can stay and fight. And I'm exploring both options.

Well I do know that his boss does know he's a problem.  And her boss, the CEO is well aware of his limitations too. So, I'm thinking he's already skating on thin ice.  I do not, however, think the HR man had any indication of any of this going on.  I tried to keep the conversation very general which was incredibly difficult to do and some of the questions he asked me (discrimination, harassment) didn't apply and some of the questions he did ask me (unfair expectations, uneven application of rules) did apply.  So I'm not thinking he had any inkling of what was going on.  I also know that my boss's boss is familiar with the limitations of my coworker too from her direct interactions with her.  But I'm not thinking HR knew any of it.  I mean we have over 400 employees.  If I wasn't so close in proximity to the top, I don't think it would even be as known an issue as it is.  

With that said, I get where you're coming from.  And I get that letting me go is a possibility, but I don't believe it's an inevitability.  I do still have some hope that there are good people in the world and I want to believe that most places want to isolate who's truly the problem.  That isn't me.