Update 6/27 - My office saga/I'm filing the complaint

2/15 update:

I still have not heard anything about the job.  I was told that if not selected I would receive an email.  So, I don't know that a decision has been made yet.  

But...  

I left it with you guys that I had talked to my bosses boss about filing the complaint and she was in support.  I had also told you that I had tried a last ditch effort with him to get him to address some of these things.  I kept thinking that if I got the new job, I would not go forward with the complaint.  I would just bow out and go to the new job.  

So, on Monday, both of them called me, my boss, the director, and my should-be boss, the assistant director.  They said they wanted to talk to me about what was going on in our office.  He said to me that we could not hire a temp.  He stated that our work is too specialized and they would never find someone with the ability to step in and assist me.  So then he said, do you have any suggestions on how best to handle this?  I nearly fell out of my chair.  I turned the conversation back around and told him I need him to clarify exactly what his expectations are for me.  I said if she were off for an extended amount of time, I would know that it was expected I would handle as much of both our jobs as I could with an occasional assist from the two of them.  I said, basically the way we operated last summer when she was on leave.  But given this in and out, not notifying anyone whether she's working or not, I don't know what I am supposed to do.  I have no direction. The assistant director interrupted and said that they owe me a big thank you because without me our entire unit would be suffering.  And that they would talk to her about better communicating what her needs were.  

I just got off the call as quickly as possible.  Because 1) it's not my job to tell them how to manage when I've been saying for over a year now that we have different expectations and he's not doing anything to hold her responsible 2) he didn't address my clear claim that I want the expectations for me laid out 3) they tried to butter me up with praise like they always do and I'm at the point where I don't even want to hear it anymore because I feel it's only being given to shut me up 4) I interpreted the last comment about communication as that they were expecting *her* to be clear with me whenever she wants me to do her job!  I'm tired of doing her job.  That was the entire point.  

I stewed on this all day on Tuesday and then right before I logged out, I sent an email to the HR liaison asking him to send me the complaint form.  When I logged in yesterday morning, the HR representative had scheduled the two of us a meeting at 9am.  So I met with him and I told him I had given them another chance and I was pretty sure I'd be filing the complaint, so could he send me the form?  He said he would do so and he said he encouraged me to file the complaint even if I had opportunity to leave so they could have grounds to address what was going on in our unit.  I said I'd think about it.  And I thanked him and left it at that.  

An hour later, I received an email from my boss.  It was to the assistant director, coworker, and me.  He stated we would be hiring a temp to assist with the duties of our unit.  He said he planned to request one by the end of the week to get someone in as soon as possible.  I was like, whoa, what changed?  about 15 minutes later I was messaged by the assistant director in a 3 way with director that he said he had talked with coworker and encouraged her to take extended time off.  That he thought the temp position might help us.  And that he is going to ask her what her plans are for the rest of the week.  My only response was that I appreciated his follow up and hope that this is the start of a plan going forward.  He responded back that yes, he hopes so too.  And THEN he said that he was working with Human Resources to make sure everything he does and suggests in regard to my coworker is "by the book."  I said nothing more.  

Two hours later I got an email from my boss stating that I was no longer to answer any emails from anyone that my coworker is supposed to handle.  He instructed me to forward them to him and assistant director and that they would make she was addressing them.  And if she wasn't, then they would step up to handle things.  

So I was like WTF is going on here?  Monday afternoon they were basically asking me what to do, attempting to compliment me out of anger, and ordaining her right to "communicate" what she needed me to pick up and do on her behalf to a complete 180 whereby a temp would be brought in and they were telling me to not help with day-to-day work.  Nothing was said, though about project based work and reporting. 

Last night I was sitting running through all the scenarios that could possibly explain this.  1) the new job called him for a reference (they told me they were going to if I was their top candidate) and he got wind that I'm serious about leaving 2) somehow my meeting with HR leaked and now someone has lit a fire under him or 3) he's finally feeling some wrath from his boss.  These are the three possibilities I could think of.  

I want to reach out to my old boss and ask him if they called him for a reference.  We have a great relationship so I'm certain he would be honest with me.  But it feels a little inappropriate.  What do you guys think?  I was worried about my current boss giving me a bad reference.  So I was hoping to rule that out.  He's out sick right now so I don't want to bug him, but I'm dying to know if this was the catalyst for whatever this dramatic change is. 

I also got a little paranoid that HR had leaked something despite me not filing a written complaint.  I was assured they would not do so without a written complaint.  And that even then, my complaint would be confidential.  But I don't know.

And then my bosses boss has been on my side this entire time and I know she's been trying to rein him in and get him to deal with this issue.  So something could have finally sunk in.  Maybe he is facing consequences from her.

Then this morning I was pulled into a meeting with coworker and assistant director.  We went over a report I thought I finished weeks ago, but they wanted it added onto so we were tweaking it.  And then...my coworker had a total meltdown.  She said that she is very sorry because she knows her performance has been lacking lately and work has been dumped on us to deal with during this time.  And then she said, "but I am pissed that someone made a complaint against me."  I wanted to die right then and there thinking there was a leak with HR.  But however, I was trying to focus on my boss and the assistant director, not her.  Of course I needed to share the things she wasn't doing and how they weren't dealing with this resulting in unfair treatment, but it was him that I wanted corrected.  And then she went on to say that she knows it was X who made the complaint against her.  She said because she feels like she didn't like coworker's attempt to push back on something she was doing.  Then she told me she couldn't deal with the report, please finish it, and she needed to leave.  She dropped right off the call.  She sent me an email and said, please input my numbers into the report.

And that's where I am right now. My head is spinning and I have no idea what's going on.  If it was my discussion with HR that leaked, nobody is saying anything and she's not even thinking in my direction.  But now it makes sense that assistant director said yesterday that he was working with HR to make sure that everything is done by the book.  I have not filed anything but somebody's complaint is being dealt with.  

In short, I don't know. I don't know if someone else filed a complaint (lots of people have grounds to) or if my discussion with HR inspired whatever is going on.



Yes. This is exactly what happened. In front of the assistant director.



From your lips to God's ears.

It's almost like gaslighting. I hate it.



I talked to my old boss just a little bit ago. He said he would let me know if they called for a reference but they haven't yet. He did say that the guy who was heading up the interviews is slower than slow. He's worked with him. So he said do not lose hope yet.