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Post by Bridget in MD on Sept 13, 2023 11:51:43 GMT
Oh wow, that sounds so overwhelming and frustrating. Can I just say that your bosses are failing badly here. They are failing you, and the company, and outside people as well. If someone in my team was late doing a report for a customer or an outside agency, my boss would have jumped in and made sure it got done the very minute she found out it was overdue. I hope your bosses pull their collective fingers out and step up to help you out. I would not be comfortable doing your bosses dirty work. Have you spoken to HR about this, or at least this response? I would almost be tempted to respond back to your boss "I am really not comfortable with this, which is why I came to you in the first place." and BCC HR. |
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Sept 13, 2023 12:25:46 GMT
Update: I sent my boss and the assistant director an email right before lunch. I told them I wanted to update them on what I've been doing lately and show them the areas in which I need help. I detailed everything I've been working on. All the things I've done for her too. I detailed all the things I'm trying to get done this week before I go on vacation and how I have two projects due the Friday I come back that are being held up by information I need from her. I told them the things I have been pulled into this week that I could use some help on. I tried to phrase it as hey, this is what is going on, I'm drowning here, and I need the two of you to step up and help me because I just don't have enough hours this week to get all this done and then I'm off next week and then I'm coming right back to a heap of things that I know of before I even leave. He emailed me back: thanks for the update. I'm looking to talk to her so if you do, please tell her to get in touch with me. And we will step up and help you. I don't know if I should feel optimistic or even more frustrated. I would hold him to that. I don't know why HE wouldn't be reaching out to her regarding this situation. If you ask her to get in touch with him, is that something she will do? I'd follow up by the end of week (or Monday at the latest): "Hi X, just following up on the e-mails we exchanged earlier in the week. Were you able to connect with Y? Can we meet to discuss a plan for the items I need support on?". |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 13, 2023 13:13:57 GMT
Does this mean that he has reached out to her and she hasn’t responded, so he is also telling you that if you talk to her to pass on that he wants to talk with her? That’s how I took it when I read it. Like she is avoiding them. I am beginning to think she is too. I am an early bird so I tend to start early mornings and get out mid afternoon. Yesterday I had a dentist appointment. I have a very sore tooth. The dentist scheduled me for an emergency root canal this morning. I logged in at 5:15 and I saw none of them was in but I sent a message letting them know about the root canal and how I needed one of them to touch on three points I was going to make at a financial managers meeting this morning. I listed the three points along with what I had on the agenda to say. I cc'd the organizer of the meeting too. But no one was in and the meeting was at 9 this morning. So I went and made dinner and such. I logged in 8 pm to see if on the off chance any of them had checked email and saw my message. And not only was she online but she had responded she would be there to talk about the three things I needed to discuss at the meeting on my behalf. But there was no response to the email or the teams message about the report. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 13, 2023 13:22:45 GMT
christine58 I don't know about long term disability. I had FMLA the two weeks I was out for the outpatient treatment program and I don't remember anyone having to sign off on my return to work. And then last year, my psychiatrist filed paperwork for intermittent FMLA for me while I was grieving and going through all Chloe's troubles. But I know there was no paperwork for me to resume full time work again. And even while I had it, I worked as much as my mental health would tolerate which was more than 35 hours a week usually. But I assume being out for 5.5 months would be LTD and that would probably have different rules.
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Post by cat2007 on Sept 13, 2023 13:31:19 GMT
Does this mean that he has reached out to her and she hasn’t responded, so he is also telling you that if you talk to her to pass on that he wants to talk with her? I don't know. I was just telling Jeremy that this is the part that frustrates me even more. Like why isn't he calling her at home at this point? He reached out in email and on teams today in our 4 person group regarding that report. And crickets. I wasn't sure why he even bothered including me as it really wasn't my business. And then I was just talking some shit to Jeremy for putting his dinner bowl in the dishwasher wrong. 😂 and he was like, you are really upset. I apologized to him but I told him I am upset. Today just blew me right over. I explained the irritation I had with that please tell her I want to talk to her if she contacts you. I told him I couldn't understand why he wasn't just calling her at home. Why put it on me? And then email and the teams message in the group this morning. Why not just contact her directly? Why include all of us? Because reading all these unanswered messages again just feels like somehow this is getting pushed back to me. And you know what he said? He's setting her up. Jeremy thinks that he's making an airtight case for firing. All these messages are documentation. I mean I felt so pissed when I sent that message and I tried to be all diplomatic about it. Gently saying, I'm taking care of all of this and I need her or you guys to help me. And his response just was so short I almost felt like, why did I even bother? At this point, have I complained enough times to him and the assistant that they are just fed up with my attitude? But Jeremy thinks he did it on purpose. Because he doesn't want anyone to come back and say he had some kind of attitude. That he didn't do his due diligence. That we were all included because he wants all of us to be able to back him up with human resources. Who knew Jeremy was a conspiracy theorist? Gotta love that Jeremy! He really makes some good points on a lot of stuff. You 2 are lucky to have each other!  |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 13, 2023 13:35:04 GMT
I spoke with Jeremy last night. He expressed that he thinks this has gotten out of control. He said the two projects that I have due 9/29 (the Friday of the week I return from vacation) I should just try to get my portion done this week and then hand them over to her to finish for her teams and not take on the whole projects by myself. (Both are reliant on her doing some office budgets so she's holding me up anyway.)
There is a contract expiring 9/30 that needs to be reupped by this Friday. I have had my financial information gathered for my teams for while. We got another reminder about it this morning. The three of them were on that email and I brought it up in my complaint email to my boss yesterday. So I sent the spreadsheet with my data to the three of them and basically said, I'm done with this and it's on you guys now.
Jeremy just told me to do my part and nothing more and don't complain anymore.
We both got an email from payroll this morning in regard to one of my coworkers office teams. The payroll woman likes to contact me even when she shouldn't because she knows I will respond and that my coworker often doesn't. One of her office teams is over budget....almost $250k. She wasn't monitoring it. And now she's going to have to figure out where she can take that money from other budgets. My office teams just don't have it to give. I'm not responding to that. It's a big mess.
But I feel like this just keeps getting worse and worse.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 13, 2023 13:42:57 GMT
Oh and I basically asked Jeremy if he thinks they want me out. I got an excellent performance review last month. But the non-answers. I almost feel like they are tired of me complaining. Maybe it's me they want to leave. Maybe they are tired of me being the squeaky wheel because they've just gotten to the point where they accept they have to deal with her and now they don't want to deal with me anymore. I don't know, I'm certainly at the point where I'd be sick of my complaining if I was them. I complained in January/February and that got them talking and she stepped up. And then I've been complaining a couple of times the past month. But it is starting to feel gross to me.
Either way, I've decided to start looking for another job.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Sept 13, 2023 13:54:04 GMT
Either way, I've decided to start looking for another job. I was going to suggest this. Would there be an option to just move departments in your current company, or are you ready to just change companies? I don't think it is you they want out (who would do the work???), but they are being extremely slow to deal with the situation at hand. An employee can take just so much! |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 13, 2023 13:57:54 GMT
Either way, I've decided to start looking for another job. I was going to suggest this. Would there be an option to just move departments in your current company, or are you ready to just change companies? I don't think it is you they want out (who would do the work???), but they are being extremely slow to deal with the situation at hand. An employee can take just so much! No not really. I work in finance for a non-financial company. So there's really not anywhere else to go for me except somewhere totally different. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 13, 2023 14:29:28 GMT
jeremysgirl I highly doubt that they want you gone. They would be in a world of hurt if you left (which shouldn’t really be your concern) and she was the one still there, still not getting anything done. I think it’s probably a unique situation that none of them have had to deal with previously so they’re not sure how to tackle it. Plus anytime you have to let someone go it’s never a pleasant experience and there’s always the chance things will get really ugly, really quickly and most people don’t like that kind of confrontation. None of that changes the fact that dealing with that type of scenario is part of their job. As for waiting to have an airtight reason for firing her, it would seem to me that they should have plenty of good reasons already providing they have been documenting everything you have been reporting to them for months now. I would think having a functioning finance department would be more important in the long term than placating one employee just because they’re afraid she’ll sue.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Sept 13, 2023 14:30:16 GMT
I don’t think they want you out (if they do, they are crazy!) but I think your boss sounds like he doesn’t like confrontation or conflict and there could also be some aspect of worry on his part because of her health issues and how they have to handle that. But I can see where you would be feeling that way when there isn’t much progress being made in solving the problem.
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Post by scrapperal on Sept 13, 2023 14:48:44 GMT
Oh and I basically asked Jeremy if he thinks they want me out. I got an excellent performance review last month. But the non-answers. I almost feel like they are tired of me complaining. Maybe it's me they want to leave. Maybe they are tired of me being the squeaky wheel because they've just gotten to the point where they accept they have to deal with her and now they don't want to deal with me anymore. I don't know, I'm certainly at the point where I'd be sick of my complaining if I was them. I complained in January/February and that got them talking and she stepped up. And then I've been complaining a couple of times the past month. But it is starting to feel gross to me. Either way, I've decided to start looking for another job. Please don't think about it as complaining. It is bringing a workplace concern to your manager's attention. |
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Post by sunnyd on Sept 13, 2023 15:21:12 GMT
I agree that it's time to look for a new job. This is more of a company culture, leadership and management problem than a co-worker problem. The leadership is weak and insecure. They are enabling your coworker and not valuing or respecting you. They are used to being in survival mode, they were there before you arrived and they will be after you leave. You are working SO hard and deserve collaboration and empowerment from your employer. Keep us posted on your job search! GOOD LUCK!!
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 13, 2023 15:23:58 GMT
First of all, I hope that your root canal is easy and painless. EEK!
They don't want you out, because you are doing the work that they need and you're doing it well. They wouldn't give you an excellent review if they want to get rid of you. I think they are clearly frustrated w/her, but have no idea how to get rid of her. So, they're putting the onus on you to handle her. I think that w/o her your job would be much better. So, the question becomes which comes first, her termination or your new job?
One thing to consider is the flexibility in this job. If you need time off you have it. If you need to log out early you can do so. The hours work well for you. So, definitely make a list and see what's important to you. If you find that a new job would be better then grab a recruiter and hit the road. It's up to you and you're a valuable employee, so getting a job shouldn't be too difficult for you. (I used to recruit for business and legal.) Though it was years ago, I do know that someone w/your skills and education has an edge in the job hunting field.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,579
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 13, 2023 15:43:23 GMT
Please remember, your mental and physical health is is just as important as hers. they were there before you arrived and they will be after you leave Just because I Feel that both of these bear repeating loudly. Your boss sucks in this respect, even if he's amazing in every other way. And it's causing massive stress for you. Now, it does sound like there are good things about this job, as scrapmaven pointed out, so I wouldn't come to the decision lightly. But if a change is what's best for you, then do it. They'll manage. |
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Post by christine58 on Sept 13, 2023 16:28:28 GMT
christine58 I don't know about long term disability. I had FMLA the two weeks I was out for the outpatient treatment program and I don't remember anyone having to sign off on my return to work. And then last year, my psychiatrist filed paperwork for intermittent FMLA for me while I was grieving and going through all Chloe's troubles. But I know there was no paperwork for me to resume full time work again. And even while I had it, I worked as much as my mental health would tolerate which was more than 35 hours a week usually. But I assume being out for 5.5 months would be LTD and that would probably have different rules. The only time that I recall that people were asked to get a doctor to sign off on the return was if they had been physically hurt or had been out a long time due to illness. We had someone who severely broke their leg and we work with emotionally disturbed kids so we had to be sure that this person was going to be safe. Those are most of the Issues we had a couple that were mental health issues, but they were not asked to have a doctor sign off on the return. Most of it was because of the population we worked with we needed to make sure that that staff member was going to be able to carry out their job, especially if they were a crisis support person and might have to restrain someone let’s say. I just wonder if there are more serious medical issues this person is having because of the stroke |
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Post by busy on Sept 13, 2023 17:25:55 GMT
I'm glad to hear you're looking for something else and I'm sorry for all you've been going through.
As someone who is dealing with an employee who is on intermittent medical leave, I *know* how sticky and frustrating it is from the leadership side. But it's my job - and the job of your managers - to find ways to mitigate the impact on the team who works with the person on leave. It is NOT the team's responsibility to just do the entire job of the person on leave, or modified duty. They way they are handling it is piss poor and shows a total lack of leadership. Because you've stepped up, they've stepped aside, when they should have thanked you and said, you're doing too much, let us solve this. Bottom line, they suck.
You're better off going elsewhere. I know you felt like you were pushing yourself professionally going into this role, so I hope you feel like it was still a worthwhile move that set you up to take on more interesting opportunities elsewhere. Best of luck to you ❤️
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 13, 2023 18:20:55 GMT
Oh and I basically asked Jeremy if he thinks they want me out. I got an excellent performance review last month. But the non-answers. I almost feel like they are tired of me complaining. Maybe it's me they want to leave. Maybe they are tired of me being the squeaky wheel because they've just gotten to the point where they accept they have to deal with her and now they don't want to deal with me anymore. I don't know, I'm certainly at the point where I'd be sick of my complaining if I was them. I complained in January/February and that got them talking and she stepped up. And then I've been complaining a couple of times the past month. But it is starting to feel gross to me. Either way, I've decided to start looking for another job. Please don't think about it as complaining. It is bringing a workplace concern to your manager's attention. It's just my nature. I'm doubting myself. Like I think there are things going on I can't see. Actually I know there are things going on I can't see. And that drives me insane because I like to consider a big whole picture. And I don't like feeling like maybe there's something I'm misunderstanding. I've always been one of those people who are like, if I'm wrong about something I can apologize. I can see my own flaws very clearly. And I absolutely don't want to hurt anybody either. But I am the type of person to let things go to the point where it's like, really? One more thing? And that one thing breaks me. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 13, 2023 18:22:36 GMT
First of all, I hope that your root canal is easy and painless. EEK! They don't want you out, because you are doing the work that they need and you're doing it well. They wouldn't give you an excellent review if they want to get rid of you. I think they are clearly frustrated w/her, but have no idea how to get rid of her. So, they're putting the onus on you to handle her. I think that w/o her your job would be much better. So, the question becomes which comes first, her termination or your new job? One thing to consider is the flexibility in this job. If you need time off you have it. If you need to log out early you can do so. The hours work well for you. So, definitely make a list and see what's important to you. If you find that a new job would be better then grab a recruiter and hit the road. It's up to you and you're a valuable employee, so getting a job shouldn't be too difficult for you. (I used to recruit for business and legal.) Though it was years ago, I do know that someone w/your skills and education has an edge in the job hunting field. That is one thing that I really appreciate about this job. The flexibility. I work hard but I also need to take breaks at times. My mental illness can be inconvenient. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 13, 2023 18:26:15 GMT
I'm glad to hear you're looking for something else and I'm sorry for all you've been going through. As someone who is dealing with an employee who is on intermittent medical leave, I *know* how sticky and frustrating it is from the leadership side. But it's my job - and the job of your managers - to find ways to mitigate the impact on the team who works with the person on leave. It is NOT the team's responsibility to just do the entire job of the person on leave, or modified duty. They way they are handling it is piss poor and shows a total lack of leadership. Because you've stepped up, they've stepped aside, when they should have thanked you and said, you're doing too much, let us solve this. Bottom line, they suck. You're better off going elsewhere. I know you felt like you were pushing yourself professionally going into this role, so I hope you feel like it was still a worthwhile move that set you up to take on more interesting opportunities elsewhere. Best of luck to you ❤️ I do. I learned a lot and this really opened up quite a few new avenues of possibility for me. I just have to wait for the right opportunity. |
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,802
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Post by purplebee on Sept 13, 2023 19:59:37 GMT
Wow, what a pain for you, and what an imposition on you by management. I think if I were in your position, I would dial back on picking up after others and concentrate on your job assignments only. Give it a try and see what steps they take to deal with her lack of responsibility. It sounds like you like your job, other than this situation, and that it works for you and your schedule. Don’t give up something that may work well for you until you see how they handle you just doing your job.
However it shakes out, hope it’s to your benefit and that they realize what a loss having you leave would be. Good luck! And enjoy your vacation - try to leave all this behind while you are off.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 15, 2023 14:30:00 GMT
I wanted to give an update on how my week went because I know it drives the peas insane to not have a situation resolved. Unfortunately my situation did not get resolved. But I went forward with my plan to take today off to prepare for my trip tomorrow.
I did end up working four full days despite the root canal time off I had this week. I did not get any help from management on the tasks I requested assistance on despite his claim that they would step up and help me.
But I did somewhat take Jeremy's and some of you guy's advice to back off on doing things I did not need to. A report that we have due 9/29 that I was planning to do in total, I did the stuff I needed to for my teams and I sent it to them letting them know my portion was done and she needed to finish it. I couldn't have done the full report anyway because she didn't have 3 budgets she was responsible for doing done. So I just didn't have the data anyway.
I had already had the budgets for my teams that I needed to do done last week. This week my teams that are big enough to have their own finance person got in all their budgets and I was able to review all of them and get them over to accounting. I accomplished all the spending reviews of August data for my teams and sent out messages to all my managers the attachments, my questions and concerns, and followed up with calls so I could feel alright with the fact that I wasn't going to be able to meet with them in person this month. They knew with the timing of my vacation that probably wasn't going to happen this month. So everything regarding new budgets and current spending was crossed off in less than four days.
I did all the research that was requested of me by the auditor and the accounting team on Monday (she was supposed to be involved in this too) and got that spreadsheet out yesterday.
I had already sent that contract information and today is the deadline. So either they get her data and get it in today or the contract will expire on 9/30. But that is out of my hands now.
And the agency we work with in regard to an annual project had reached out to me with a big list of questions on Monday for both our teams and needed it by end of week. I was able to get answers to every single thing and get that submitted yesterday afternoon.
There is one more report due 9/29, so the Friday of the week I return. It is dependent on her budgets being done. It is really a one person job so I'll continue to take the lead on this. But I let management know she must do her part so I can finish it as this one is required by law. There is no option for delay. 9/29 is a hard deadline. No exceptions.
But all in all, I worked hard and felt absolutely no guilt about taking today off. But I wanted to put out there that nobody stepped up to help me. And I sent a follow up email to management letting them know of all the things I did this week. I'm documenting my own work to cover my own ass. However, I am guessing he did finally get in touch with her as she was online all day yesterday. And that hasn't happened in months.
I'm trying to get myself going this morning so I can do all my camping prep work to leave tomorrow. And yes, I'm resisting the urge to log in and see if they are getting the information for that contract. I want to look at it like I want to view a Trainwreck. But I'm not going to do that and just try to put it all aside and enjoy my time off.
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Post by littlemama on Sept 15, 2023 14:45:37 GMT
So, first, I hope you have an amazing time camping! Looks like it is going to be your kind of weather, too!
As far as work- Stay in your lane.
Do your part and do it well (as I know you have been). Do not complain about her, since it is not changing anything. Do not do her parts, do not remind her of things (unless you would if she were a fully functionimg employee). Keep your boss informed of what is going on with your parts (to cover your ass) and do not comment on her parts other than maybe- "here is my piece of project X. Once you have "Susan's" part you should be good to go!"
You are being paid to do one job- yours. If you try to take on her job as well, 2 things will happen. 1-When she finally leaves or is terminated, they will not replace her as you have been doing both jobs. 2- you will be completely burned out.
I would try not to leave where you are as I believe there are benefits to it that you may not receive in other places. You have to let go of this other person's job and only do yours. It is very freeing, trust me!
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 15, 2023 14:45:56 GMT
jeremysgirl. You have done well. CYA was a good idea. Enjoy your new camper, enjoy your vacation!!!
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 15, 2023 15:35:43 GMT
You did the absolute right thing. littlemama is spot on w/her advice. Just enjoy camping and let work go. This week is all about your happiness and being in a peaceful place. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 15, 2023 15:52:42 GMT
littlemama you are right. There are some serious benefits to where I work. And I just want to say, can't you just move to the middle of the state and take on that job? I mean I think you would meet the education/experience criteria and we would rock it as a team! 
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Post by littlemama on Sept 15, 2023 16:24:54 GMT
littlemama you are right. There are some serious benefits to where I work. And I just want to say, can't you just move to the middle of the state and take on that job? I mean I think you would meet the education/experience criteria and we would rock it as a team! Omg that would be AMAZING!!! |
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Post by flanz on Sept 15, 2023 16:54:41 GMT
You did the absolute right thing. littlemama is spot on w/her advice. Just enjoy camping and let work go. This week is all about your happiness and being in a peaceful place. Yes! Yes! Yes! |
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Post by roundtwo on Sept 15, 2023 17:53:10 GMT
And yes, I'm resisting the urge to log in and see if they are getting the information for that contract. I want to look at it like I want to view a Trainwreck. But I'm not going to do that and just try to put it all aside and enjoy my time off. Good self-control - I would be struggling not to look as well, lol!! Put this week in the finished column and enjoy your holiday!!! |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Sept 15, 2023 18:48:46 GMT
But I wanted to put out there that nobody stepped up to help me. I'm documenting my own work to cover my own ass. I've been reading along on this thread but had not waded in as you were getting great reflection and advice. But this last post jumped out to me as you opening your own eyes to two realities. Your higher-ups aren't managing well. And you need to protect yourself as this all plays out. (I liked the advice to 'stay in your lane' and do your own work well but don't CYA for her - that just delays getting any resolution to happen.) Anyhow, I just wanted to point out that your thread served just like talking over a problem out loud. We often get to our own right advice and conclusion in the process of going over it with someone else. So, yay! Go on your camping trip and have a ball! When you get back, work will still be there, and you'll have much greater clarity of how to manage it going forward. |
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