Just T
Drama Llama
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Post by Just T on Sept 12, 2024 22:07:59 GMT
I got an email from one of my attorneys today that they have been working on a settlement offer to present to my STBX, and they want to meet with me on Tuesday to go over it.
OMG, I can't tell you how good this feels. Pretty much whatever they are putting together as an offer, I have no doubt his attorneys will encourage him to accept it in order to avoid a trial and in order to avoid dragging in his lady friend, which he is adamantly opposed to. He also wants to keep our house, so I know that part of the offer is going to be him paying me the equity in it, which is a lot.
I am soooooo ready for this to be over. Since our hearing over two weeks ago, I haven't laid eyes on him. I've been staying with two different friends, and I am so tired of living out of a suitcase. I'm beyond grateful I do have people to stay with, I'm just sick of doing it. I only come home for a couple of days here and there when I know he is gone. I can't keep this up much longer; it's really wearing me down.
Anyway, I'm feeling hopeful this will actually have a good outcome for me.
**UPDATE 9/17**
We came up with a settlement offer today, and my attorney is sending it to his tomorrow.
I think it's a good offer, and I trust her. I will be happy if he accepts it. She is giving him until September 25 to give his decision, and after that, she will start the process of subpoenaing the "friend." That's about all I can say right now. I'm drained.
**UPDATE 9/24**
My attorney emailed me yesterday to say his attorney reached out to her to see if I would be willing to go through a mediator to come up with a settlement. She thinks he's not going to accept our original offer, but she thinks it will be close. His attorney also said he will want a payment plan. I told her my concerns about that, and she agrees with me, but said that they talked about some protections they could put in place to ensure I do indeed get the money, such as making it so it can't be part of a bankruptcy and other protections. She also said that even if it goes to trial and I am granted a large settlement, it will likely have to be put on a payment plan. I do not like this idea at all, but it sounds like I will have no choice in that. I just want to be done with him forever and not have to worry if I am actually going to receive all that I am entitled to and granted.
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Post by mom on Sept 12, 2024 22:10:43 GMT
Oh thats a great update! I know you are so ready for this to be done and over so you can move on. A word of caution.....your ex is an ass. He probably won't accept the first offer and will still drag this out until the last minuet before your next hearing. He doesn't want court, but he also probably doesn't want to pay you your fair share until the very last chance. Be hopeful, but please, please don't count on him ending this easily.
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FurryP
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Sept 12, 2024 22:15:22 GMT
I hope it all works out just they way you want it. I too, would be tired of living in non-permanent conditions. You're in the home stretch!
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Sept 12, 2024 22:17:06 GMT
Oh thats a great update! I know you are so ready for this to be done and over so you can move on. A word of caution.....your ex is an ass. He probably won't accept the first offer and will still drag this out until the last minuet before your next hearing. He doesn't want court, but he also probably doesn't want to pay you your fair share until the very last chance. Be hopeful, but please, please don't count on him ending this easily. I know he's not going down without a fight. But, if he doesn't accept an offer, then my attorney will begin the process to subpoena his lady friend as a third party. The judge has already given her ok to do this. That is what he absolutely does NOT want. He has said for months he won't even let his own attorneys talk to her. So if he doesn't accept an offer, she will be brought into it. After the last hearing a couple of weeks ago, my attorney told me that his attorneys do not want him to go to trial. Even they know it will not go well for him. |
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Post by mom on Sept 12, 2024 22:20:21 GMT
Oh thats a great update! I know you are so ready for this to be done and over so you can move on. A word of caution.....your ex is an ass. He probably won't accept the first offer and will still drag this out until the last minuet before your next hearing. He doesn't want court, but he also probably doesn't want to pay you your fair share until the very last chance. Be hopeful, but please, please don't count on him ending this easily. I know he's not going down without a fight. But, if he doesn't accept an offer, then my attorney will begin the process to subpoena his lady friend as a third party. The judge has already given her ok to do this. That is what he absolutely does NOT want. He has said for months he won't even let his own attorneys talk to her. So if he doesn't accept an offer, she will be brought into it. After the last hearing a couple of weeks ago, my attorney told me that his attorneys do not want him to go to trial. Even they know it will not go well for him. Well I hope he gets nauseous and shits his pants when he has to write you a check for the money he owes you. He deserves to be uncomfortable for being an ass. |
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The Birdhouse Lady
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Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Sept 12, 2024 22:21:20 GMT
Great update..you are in the home stretch. I am glad you have been staying with friends. He seemed a little unhinged after your last update. Just stay safe and know that is going to end.
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Just T
Drama Llama
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Post by Just T on Sept 12, 2024 22:21:35 GMT
Oh, and we don't have any more pre trial hearings scheduled. The next scheduled thing is the trial, in October.
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edie3
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Post by edie3 on Sept 12, 2024 22:24:19 GMT
Good for you!
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Just T
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Post by Just T on Sept 12, 2024 22:24:52 GMT
Well I hope he gets nauseous and shits his pants when he has to write you a check for the money he owes you. He deserves to be uncomfortable for being an ass. I've been on pins and needles since the hearing two weeks ago. She told me that day that she wanted to come up with an offer within a couple of days, while we had the upper hand. But, she wanted to talk to the forensic accountant first and not rush into something. I have heard nothing until today, and it was driving me crazy! The only good thing is that I have comforted myself with knowing that for the past two weeks, he's probably stressed out wondering what is happening, and I love that. LOL |
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Sept 12, 2024 22:26:22 GMT
I hope everything goes on your favor.
Please be extra careful in the next few weeks.
Never trust a bitter hateful person, who is backed into a corner.
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Just T
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Post by Just T on Sept 12, 2024 22:30:30 GMT
I hope everything goes on your favor. Please be extra careful in the next few weeks. Never trust a bitter hateful person, who is backed into a corner. I definitely am being careful. The one friend I am staying with, he knows, but he doesn't know where she lives. The other friend, he has no idea about at all. I only come home when I know he is not here. My attorney told me basically the same thing. He is backed into a corner, and his house of cards/lies that he has been living in for years is crashing around him. Both friends have said I can stay as long as I need to, and I am grateful for them. |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 12, 2024 23:00:26 GMT
Just T great news, but.... There is always a but... He refuses, up the buyout number and process the subpoena. Why wait if he refuses? Be CAREFUL!! …........HUGS!!......
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 12, 2024 23:11:51 GMT
I love this update. It's coming.
BUT as others have said... be careful.
I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how things were.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Sept 13, 2024 1:01:07 GMT
I love this update. It's coming. BUT as others have said... be careful. I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how things were. I am being so careful. Thank you all for worrying about me! I have two friends who are so awesome, who I am staying with most of the time. My son always tells me when my STBX is going to be gone, so that is when I go home for a few days at a time. I just hate that I have to live like this. It's not fun. But I will never be able to repay my friends who are giving me a place to go when I need it. |
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Post by scrappintoee on Sept 13, 2024 1:23:10 GMT
I am so sorry that you have been through HELL, and cannot WAIT for it to end for you! Looking forward to a very happy outcome for you !!!!  |
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 13, 2024 2:26:21 GMT
I'm thinking that if he buys you out of the house then you can find a great new place that is all yours to decorate however you want. Let him stay w/the bad energy and you go thrive. Dump the chump and live a great life.
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Post by hopemax on Sept 13, 2024 2:32:46 GMT
I haven't commented to frequently on your situation, because I have no experience with any of this crap, thank goodness. However, maybe I've watched too many movies, but what I worry about with him getting a gun, spending a ton and giving the other woman a ton of money... that when he is good and trapped, he will use it on himself. Leaving you with a different set of problems to unbury yourself from. I really, really want this to work out for you, and you get that new shot at life you've been waiting for, so I hope my fears are just my over-active imagination.   |
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Post by jill8909 on Sept 13, 2024 2:50:32 GMT
good luck. you deserve it
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 13, 2024 3:23:58 GMT
I haven't commented to frequently on your situation, because I have no experience with any of this crap, thank goodness. However, maybe I've watched too many worries, but what I worry about with him getting a gun, spending a ton and giving the other woman a ton of money... that when he is good and trapped, he will use it on himself. Leaving you with a different set of problems to unbury yourself from. I really, really want this to work out for you, and you get that new shot at life you've been waiting for, so I hope my fears are just my over-active imagination. If he uses it on himself, he takes care of the problem does he not? |
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 13, 2024 3:47:20 GMT
Have you started taking your things out of the house? Do you have a storage place you can put some of your stuff? The less you see him after the agreement the better.
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Post by librarylady on Sept 13, 2024 14:01:19 GMT
Even if he writes the check, stay hidden for awhile. He may attack you to prevent you cashing the check.
I remain troubled by the purchase of the gun and listing himself as having a deceased wife.
It goes without saying that we are behind you in this.
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 13, 2024 14:01:21 GMT
Have you started taking your things out of the house? Do you have a storage place you can put some of your stuff? The less you see him after the agreement the better. I was thinking along the same lines. I'm afraid he'll destroy everything he knows has value to you. I can't wait for this to be over for you. |
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3boysnme
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Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Sept 13, 2024 14:32:09 GMT
I haven't commented to frequently on your situation, because I have no experience with any of this crap, thank goodness. However, maybe I've watched too many worries, but what I worry about with him getting a gun, spending a ton and giving the other woman a ton of money... that when he is good and trapped, he will use it on himself. Leaving you with a different set of problems to unbury yourself from. I really, really want this to work out for you, and you get that new shot at life you've been waiting for, so I hope my fears are just my over-active imagination. If he uses it on himself, he takes care of the problem does he not? Not necessarily. Because they are still legally married, she could have a huge mess on her hands - legally and financially. Not to mention she might have to undergo investigation until it is determined that he did commit suicide. Especially because they are undergoing a divorce. |
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3boysnme
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Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Sept 13, 2024 14:33:18 GMT
Just T, I really hope everything ends soon and in your favor. And I'm really happy you have good friends to count on! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 13, 2024 14:47:57 GMT
If he uses it on himself, he takes care of the problem does he not? Not necessarily. Because they are still legally married, she could have a huge mess on her hands - legally and financially. Not to mention she might have to undergo investigation until it is determined that he did commit suicide. Especially because they are undergoing a divorce. True. True. I was thinking long term. But yeah, the immediate would suck. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Sept 13, 2024 15:08:27 GMT
If he uses it on himself, he takes care of the problem does he not? Not necessarily. Because they are still legally married, she could have a huge mess on her hands - legally and financially. Not to mention she might have to undergo investigation until it is determined that he did commit suicide. Especially because they are undergoing a divorce. Sadly, I have thought of this already! I'm sure my attorney has, too. She knows he has a gun. I'm sure that is one reason she doesn't want me home with him right now, and why I am staying with friends. |
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Rhondito on Sept 13, 2024 17:30:52 GMT
I hope your attorneys plan to ask for the moon! Keep steadfast, it will be over one way or another in October  We may have to have a Pea Zoom so you can give us the big story time and we can celebrate with you! |
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Post by lurker on Sept 13, 2024 18:07:19 GMT
I wish you nothing but the best - you have been through hell - hopefully, there is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not an oncoming train!
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Tearisci
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Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Sept 13, 2024 18:12:09 GMT
I'm so sorry! I think yours is one of the worst divorce stories I've heard. A friend of mine awhile back filed for divorce and her soon-to-be-ex showed up at their house with a gun and terrorized her and the kids. I never in a million years would have guessed that he was capable of something like that but when push comes to shove, he lost it.
I really hope you can get this wrapped up and move on.
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Post by SweetieBugs on Sept 13, 2024 18:45:18 GMT
I'm so sorry! I think yours is one of the worst divorce stories I've heard. A friend of mine awhile back filed for divorce and her soon-to-be-ex showed up at their house with a gun and terrorized her and the kids. I never in a million years would have guessed that he was capable of something like that but when push comes to shove, he lost it. I really hope you can get this wrapped up and move on. My Dad did the same thing to my mom and us kids. He just snapped one day just prior to the divorce settlement. We fled our home, running for our lives and stayed in hiding for 4 days. Ultimately, my mom didn't file charges. He didn't snap over anger about the settlement, but rather "snapped" over the thought of us moving on without him. There was absolutely no warning that he would do this. Completely out of character. He was a beloved dentist. |
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