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Post by tmarschall on Sept 13, 2024 18:53:05 GMT
I'm so rooting for you!
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Post by heckofagal on Sept 13, 2024 19:45:12 GMT
I'm so sorry! I think yours is one of the worst divorce stories I've heard. A friend of mine awhile back filed for divorce and her soon-to-be-ex showed up at their house with a gun and terrorized her and the kids. I never in a million years would have guessed that he was capable of something like that but when push comes to shove, he lost it. I really hope you can get this wrapped up and move on. My Dad did the same thing to my mom and us kids. He just snapped one day just prior to the divorce settlement. We fled our home, running for our lives and stayed in hiding for 4 days. Ultimately, my mom didn't file charges. He didn't snap over anger about the settlement, but rather "snapped" over the thought of us moving on without him. There was absolutely no warning that he would do this. Completely out of character. He was a beloved dentist. But the thing about Just T's husband is that he is the one who was already moving on. I agree she needs to say safe! So happy this will be over for you soon. |
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 13, 2024 19:55:54 GMT
I'm glad your attorney isn't rushing the offer without the forensic evidence. I'm surprised he wants the house, but it weirdly probably goes with his widowed story and he'd have to explain why he is suddenly homeless/having to move if he walked away from it.
Fingers crossed that he signs quickly.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884 
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Post by Just T on Sept 13, 2024 20:00:39 GMT
I'm so sorry! I think yours is one of the worst divorce stories I've heard. And what I have shared here is the tip of the iceberg! |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Sept 13, 2024 20:04:57 GMT
I'm glad your attorney isn't rushing the offer without the forensic evidence. I'm surprised he wants the house, but it weirdly probably goes with his widowed story and he'd have to explain why he is suddenly homeless/having to move if he walked away from it. Fingers crossed that he signs quickly. I think he wants it because getting it ready to sell will be a hell of a lot of work, and he's got a garage and basement full of all sorts of stuff. What pisses me off though is that he has all these plans to renovate it. I saw a list on his desk a couple of months ago that said "House" at the top and listed things like redo all floors, redo kitchen, new roof, redo all bathroom, move office downstairs...  He's done nothing to this house for years, and now, he's going to fix it up?? I'd like to be a bitch and say I want to stay in the house, but I really don't. First of all, I want to pack up the few things I want and leave. Also, I don't know that I will feel completely safe and comfortable living here once the divorce is final. It's also way more house than I can keep up with by myself. I don't need this much space. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Sept 13, 2024 20:06:24 GMT
But the thing about Just T's husband is that he is the one who was already moving on. I agree she needs to say safe! So happy this will be over for you soon. Yeah, I don't think he is sad about the divorce, but the financial hit is what will piss him off. He told our son recently that he didn't want a divorce. Yeah, I'm sure he didn't. Why would he? He had it made in the shade. |
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 14, 2024 13:14:35 GMT
You definitely don't want the house. You deserve a fresh start in a place that is and has always been just yours.
I wonder if he wants it because how would he explain not having it, if he's widowed? It's unreal how far he'll go to perpetuate that lie!
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Post by alsomsknit on Sept 14, 2024 13:28:37 GMT
I hope everything goes on your favor. Please be extra careful in the next few weeks. Never trust a bitter hateful person, who is backed into a corner. I definitely am being careful. The one friend I am staying with, he knows, but he doesn't know where she lives. The other friend, he has no idea about at all. I only come home when I know he is not here. My attorney told me basically the same thing. He is backed into a corner, and his house of cards/lies that he has been living in for years is crashing around him. Both friends have said I can stay as long as I need to, and I am grateful for them. Sounds as if you have amazing friends! Hope he has to pay dearly. You’ve got this! Live well. |
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Post by wordfish on Sept 15, 2024 15:15:14 GMT
I don't think I post much on your updates, if at all, but I have consistently searched for them over the years this has been going on (also freecharlie's). Figured it was time to post a message of support. I'm so sorry you have had to spend so much of your energy and time and I'm sure also money on this. You deserve so much better. Hoping the end is in sight very soon for you and that it meets your needs and is fair to you. Please continue to take care of yourself.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Sept 15, 2024 16:22:34 GMT
Thank you again, everyone! You all are the best!
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,838
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Sept 15, 2024 16:36:35 GMT
What I don’t get is how he has kept up his lies to the ow.
First thing my friends do is a full on deep dive search into any new man. Hell, we just did this at dinner the other night and blew up an entire string of lies a man was telling our friend in about 5 minutes.
And we are old as hell! So I know we don’t know as much as younger people who are more familiar with tech.
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Post by librarylady on Sept 15, 2024 16:53:15 GMT
What I don’t get is how he has kept up his lies to the ow. First thing my friends do is a full on deep dive search into any new man. Hell, we just did this at dinner the other night and blew up an entire string of lies a man was telling our friend in about 5 minutes. And we are old as hell! So I know we don’t know as much as younger people who are more familiar with tech. Perhaps the love interest has no problem with his lies as long as he is giving her gifts and taking her on trips. Perhaps she is a grifter and just wants what she can get out of him.
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Post by Lexica on Sept 15, 2024 17:28:39 GMT
What I don’t get is how he has kept up his lies to the ow. First thing my friends do is a full on deep dive search into any new man. Hell, we just did this at dinner the other night and blew up an entire string of lies a man was telling our friend in about 5 minutes. And we are old as hell! So I know we don’t know as much as younger people who are more familiar with tech. What an awesome thing to do for your friend. I love that you guys were able to locate and expose this string of lies that a guy concocted to put one over on a decent woman. Thank goodness she has devoted friends! The more I watch true crime shows and the more I read here and another site about the lies some people tell, it makes me afraid to ever date anyone ever again. And every crime show will warn that an unscrupulous man becomes extremely dangerous when the end is at hand. They don’t want to lose. And it isn’t necessarily about losing the partner in marriage, or even their children, but facing the loss of half of “their” fortune becomes a major trigger. They don’t even consider the part their wife played in their ability to obtain that fortune. And in your case, Just T, you holding down the home front, paying the bills, keeping the house running, raising his children, all while he was running around playing at being single, was a big benefit to him. And now he is realizing how much he will have to do on his own going forward. Unless he plans to move his OW into the house with him to help out. Unless he fears the neighbors might mention his recent divorce and lovely wife. I am also surprised that he wants the house. I would think that a condo would be better for his lifestyle of being away from home as much as he is. Unless he is just looking at it as a potential equity investment that he will fix up and sell to recoup monies lost in the divorce. I appreciate your good friends for giving you a safe place to stay during these final very stressful days. Maybe have them assist you in moving anything that you will be keeping as your own property into a storage unit so it is well protected against any spite damage. |
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Post by Scrapper100 on Sept 15, 2024 19:36:12 GMT
I’m glad you are checking in here often. I assume by now you have removed anything of real value or sentimental items so he can’t damage them out of spite. I’m really hoping this ends well for you after all you have been through and I hope it’s soon. You deserve so much better. I hope you are able to move on with your life and be happy. You certainly deserve it. Have you thought about what you are going to do? Are you staying in the area and getting a condo or small house? Not sure about your ties to the area if your kids are still in the area or not.
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 16, 2024 4:48:31 GMT
I love this update. It's coming. BUT as others have said... be careful. I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how things were. I am being so careful. Thank you all for worrying about me! I have two friends who are so awesome, who I am staying with most of the time. My son always tells me when my STBX is going to be gone, so that is when I go home for a few days at a time. I just hate that I have to live like this. It's not fun. But I will never be able to repay my friends who are giving me a place to go when I need it. speaking as a friend, I am sure they are happy to help and grateful they are in a situation that they can. I hope you take your xh to the cleaners and that you get to leave this chapter behind you. |
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 16, 2024 12:48:21 GMT
What I don’t get is how he has kept up his lies to the ow. First thing my friends do is a full on deep dive search into any new man. Hell, we just did this at dinner the other night and blew up an entire string of lies a man was telling our friend in about 5 minutes. And we are old as hell! So I know we don’t know as much as younger people who are more familiar with tech. My DD does this. She has found so many guys lying about marital status. It's sickening. |
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 16, 2024 12:49:33 GMT
What I don’t get is how he has kept up his lies to the ow. First thing my friends do is a full on deep dive search into any new man. Hell, we just did this at dinner the other night and blew up an entire string of lies a man was telling our friend in about 5 minutes. And we are old as hell! So I know we don’t know as much as younger people who are more familiar with tech. Perhaps the love interest has no problem with his lies as long as he is giving her gifts and taking her on trips. Perhaps she is a grifter and just wants what she can get out of him.
That is an excellent point! |
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,853
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Post by Rhondito on Sept 17, 2024 19:58:11 GMT
I just realized it's Tuesday - any news??
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Post by silverlining on Sept 17, 2024 20:20:57 GMT
I have a friend who was divorcing and slowly working out a settlement. Her attorney was trying to figure out the value of a complicated investment they had made. Then my friend found out that her STBX had told his new woman he was already divorced. Then she heard that STBX and new woman had already sent out wedding invitations so he had a deadline!!
Her attorney immediately drew up a settlement and he agreed to everything. He gave up his share of the investment and agreed to pay 100% for children's future college costs along with all the other things they had already agreed to. My friend was able to stay in the house with her kids too which is what she wanted. I remember she wondered if he had even read it before he signed!
This is what I wish for you...that you get what you need and what you hope for and can build a beautiful new life without him.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Sept 17, 2024 23:47:54 GMT
**UPDATE 9/17**
We came up with a settlement offer today, and my attorney is sending it to his tomorrow.
I think it's a good offer, and I trust her. I will be happy if he accepts it. She is giving him until September 25 to give his decision, and after that, she will start the process of subpoenaing the "friend." That's about all I can say right now. I'm drained.
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gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,114
Location: Sacramento, Ca
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Post by gramma on Sept 17, 2024 23:52:47 GMT
Oh Oh Oh - I'm holding my breath for you! If he decides to accept how long will they give him to pay up?
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Sept 17, 2024 23:53:34 GMT
Just think! In one week, you could finally be free!!! I'll be praying that is the outcome! Good luck!
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Post by MichyM on Sept 18, 2024 0:38:04 GMT
Everything I possibly can cross is crossed for you. Seriously. I sure hope this works!
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Post by cakediva on Sept 18, 2024 0:53:41 GMT
Hugs - I hope he answers soon and accepts it so this can be over for you!
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Post by malibou on Sept 18, 2024 1:06:50 GMT
Please please let him accept the offer, make the payments and be gone.
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,763
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Post by peasquared on Sept 18, 2024 1:16:15 GMT
I hope this nightmare is over once and for all for you. And, that he pays up quickly so you can move on and live YOUR happily ever after.
Fingers and toes crossed for you!
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 18, 2024 2:08:14 GMT
((Hugs))
I can't wait for this to happen for you
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,214
Location: Alabama
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Post by janeinbama on Sept 18, 2024 2:36:36 GMT
Things are moving faster now. 9/25 can’t get here soon enough for you!!
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,159
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Post by teddyw on Sept 18, 2024 2:44:01 GMT
I’m glad it’s still moving forward. Fingers crossed he just signs it.
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Post by putabuttononit on Sept 18, 2024 3:12:46 GMT
You’ve endured so much, I’m so sorry. Good job hanging in there, it will all be worth it.
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He's done nothing to this house for years, and now, he's going to fix it up?? I'd like to be a bitch and say I want to stay in the house, but I really don't. First of all, I want to pack up the few things I want and leave. Also, I don't know that I will feel completely safe and comfortable living here once the divorce is final. It's also way more house than I can keep up with by myself. I don't need this much space. 
