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Post by leannec on May 28, 2015 20:08:13 GMT
He can't spell and chances are he's shorter than he claims ... loser Oh, and make sure you don't have any hair in your butt crack ... again, he's a loser
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Post by sunraynnc on May 28, 2015 20:12:02 GMT
What a dumb ass...
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Post by rainangel on May 28, 2015 20:13:49 GMT
I read it again and, assuming the whole thing is not a spoof, I think it was written by more than one person. In the first part the grammar isn't too bad and looks like it's written by someone who speaks English as a first language. As the requirements become more ridiculous the writing style seems to change and the grammar becomes far worse. I can't believe not only have I read it twice, I am now analysing it! I was thinking that since he says he took about a month writing this, he has been adding stuff to it over that month. With no regard to what he has previously written. He repeats himself a lot, sometimes it is just one sentence in captial letters like 'NO BODYHAIR', sometimes it is an itemized list of demands, sometimes it is two paragraphs of rambling (about the H&M seasonal collections for instance)... I'm guessing he's just been adding to it, never reading through it to make it look coherent. Or maybe he doesn't care if it looks coherent. To me, it looks like a small insight into a very confused man's brain. Scattered all over the place in terms of how he expresses himself, but the overall message is the same; I want you young and skinny and easy to manipulate, I am MAN and you must worship me!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 28, 2015 20:18:47 GMT
It's Thrusday. Someone peatlejuice him! Oh man, that would be so much fun!!
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Post by lesserknownpea on May 28, 2015 20:23:02 GMT
Balding, under employed, middle aged loner who lives with a cat in his mom's basement obsesses over Taylor Swift imaginary lookalike. Suspiciously aware of female clothing lines and grooming procedures. "Hates" religion, but into numerous religion based disciplines, (or claims to be, I'm not convinced). Mentions ballet several times, I think he likes the men in leotards more than the women. Wore his first pair of tights recently and loved the experience. Slavishly accepts the media's (especially the porn industry's) vision of the ideal woman, but claims to be a free thinker. Spends what little money he makes on gym membership and cocoa facial masks
ETA: and rimming. . .ewwwwwwweee
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 28, 2015 22:00:07 GMT
I hardly even know what to say. And that's unusual for you Anxiousmom. What a jerk.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 28, 2015 22:03:09 GMT
His mother must be so proud!!! Anyone remember Feederlynn?
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Post by anxiousmom on May 28, 2015 22:16:17 GMT
I hardly even know what to say. And that's unusual for you Anxiousmom. What a jerk. True...although I do hope the jerk is him, not me. (I am kidding by the way... )
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Post by finsup on May 28, 2015 22:20:14 GMT
I think he lives in that house in Utah from the real estate listing we were all looking at.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 22:23:51 GMT
i think he's fallen in love with his blow up doll and is using her as his benchmark
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Post by Belia on May 28, 2015 22:26:39 GMT
For someone who "spent months writing his profile," it sure does have a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. Anyone else find it ironic that he wrote "I will not repeat what other people say"... then followed it up by a quote from Kurt Cobain, Yoda, then Nikola Tesla? What a douchebag. I bet his mom is so proud.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 28, 2015 22:27:39 GMT
I know just the girl!
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on May 28, 2015 22:34:54 GMT
He needs to move to Stepford. And hopefully they will slam the gates behind him and throw away the key.
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Post by alexa11 on May 28, 2015 22:38:02 GMT
Is there a way for him to know how many people have viewed his post? If so, he's going to think he's all that and a bag of kale chips!
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 28, 2015 22:47:24 GMT
And that's unusual for you Anxiousmom. What a jerk. True...although I do hope the jerk is him, not me. (I am kidding by the way... ) And so was I.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,741
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 28, 2015 22:47:42 GMT
This guy is a tool destined for a long lonely life or a mail order bride looking for a green card.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 28, 2015 22:51:36 GMT
Or someone who is really lonely, I mean loony
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 23:12:11 GMT
I think my favorite part is "hight (sic) close to 5' 10"". Code for, I want you to be perfect but I'm not as perfect as I'd like to be. In fact I'm pretty short.
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on May 28, 2015 23:13:52 GMT
That is some crazy shit, right there.
I want to think that it's fake, and even if it is, man it's funny.
BUT
Several years ago, before all the prostitutes flooded it, Toronto Craigslist had a "Theraputic Services" section where massage therapists used to post. There was a guy who was not a registered therapist, but would post this insane rambling ad several times a day. He was offering free massage to women to improve his skills. And then he would post this list of necessities to get the free massage and reiki. There was a grid of the maximum weights for each height, like if you are 5'6, the most you can weigh is 136 lbs and *he had a scale*. Everyone used to flag the ad, so he would have to post it over and over all day and then he would write even crazier ads yelling at everyone for flagging him and discriminating against him because he had bad grammar. I actually know one person who went to him, simply because everyone just had to know- and he is insane and lives in a filthy serial killer basement in East York.
If this is real, I am 99% certain that this is the same guy. I think his name was Matthew. He used to use this picture of him laying seductively on a massage table, and they certainly look similar.
Getting his first suit from H&M is killing me. God, so funny. Actually, even if it is fake, I want to drink beer with whoever wrote it.
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BarbaraUK
Drama Llama
Surrounded by my yarn stash on the NE coast of England...............!! Refupea 1702
Posts: 5,961
Location: England UK
Jun 27, 2014 12:47:11 GMT
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Post by BarbaraUK on May 28, 2015 23:14:30 GMT
I read it again and, assuming the whole thing is not a spoof, I think it was written by more than one person. In the first part the grammar isn't too bad and looks like it's written by someone who speaks English as a first language. As the requirements become more ridiculous the writing style seems to change and the grammar becomes far worse. I can't believe not only have I read it twice, I am now analysing it! Yes, I thought the same when I read it, it does sound as though it was written by more than one person. As you say, it starts off well....and then goes downhill fast as he becomes more ridiculous, detailed and demanding with the things he will or will not accept from an applicant - and it's a dickens of a long list! That has got to be one seriously deluded guy with a lot of time on his hands to write something like that!
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on May 28, 2015 23:30:39 GMT
I was just too afraid to click on the pictures. He's so hot you need to wear oven mitts.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on May 28, 2015 23:46:36 GMT
So one of his obsessions is dental care. Then he casually drops that he just lost a tooth to infection... I love how he "takes care of his body" and doesn't understand people who don't, but goes to the tanning booth.
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Post by jenb72 on May 28, 2015 23:47:25 GMT
Everyone has a type they like - at least he's up front about it and makes his wants known. Of course, I'm not sure where he'll be able to fit a girl into his life with his ego taking up all the extra space in the room. But good luck to him.
Jen
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,703
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on May 28, 2015 23:54:53 GMT
What I find most shocking is that English is his native language. (Is it?)
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,262
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on May 28, 2015 23:57:49 GMT
I read it again and, assuming the whole thing is not a spoof, I think it was written by more than one person. In the first part the grammar isn't too bad and looks like it's written by someone who speaks English as a first language. As the requirements become more ridiculous the writing style seems to change and the grammar becomes far worse. I can't believe not only have I read it twice, I am now analysing it! I thought the same thing.
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,262
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on May 28, 2015 23:58:55 GMT
He is the guy that could turn any woman into a lesbian.
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Post by scrapqueen01 on May 29, 2015 0:01:52 GMT
Is it just me or does anyone find it creepy that he goes to an all female dentist office?
Edited to add: Holy schnickies I just looked at his pics. The pics with the dates of 2008 and 2015 scream mug shots.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 0:24:52 GMT
Eff that! I am going gay!
He DOES look like a serial (cereal) killer. His bulging eyes freak the sh!t out of me. His long UNCUT schlong grosses me out, I don't like tattoos on men and I hate hypocritical men seeing how he HAS sh!tty tattoos. Probably doesn't even know what the Japanese symbols are. (They are probably Korean and he is too big of a douchbag to know the difference). He is not educated, works a manual labour job and doesn't drive a car. Everyone I know or have ever heard of in TO has a car. Even my old friend from Elementary school who doesn't own one in TO knows how to drive at least. (And she has money so goes by taxi and not subway). I am sure he is on the downlow and probably has HIV to boot. He doesn't want to get tested because he is afraid of what he will find out. I don't for a second believe he is STI/STD free and this bullsh!t about being into health food is just that, bullsh!t. I am glad he is hydrated. All the water he drinks goes to his empty head and fills it up with nothing but Canadian Springs.
I also hate men without teeth. If he hasn't spent at least 10k on orthodontia he is reject material.
I would demand a full list with names and dates of his past sexual partners, including kissing seeing how he enjoys rimming so he says.
Ok I am done. I am hungry and tired and need to go eat some high carb, halal, hormone filled beef and pasta with Kraft parmesan cheese in the can.
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Post by JBeans on May 29, 2015 0:33:40 GMT
tl;dr. The first little bit of verbal diarrhea glazed my eyes over.
Why I did catch, let's face it, he's a weirdo. This isn't how normal people act.
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Post by chaosisapony on May 29, 2015 0:35:50 GMT
For someone that spent months on his dating profile he could have worked on the grammar and spelling a bit more!
I got 3/4 of the way through before losing interest but I did LOL several times, especially at his fixation on hydration.
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