|
Post by lucyg on Jul 17, 2019 22:00:12 GMT
I wouldn't say you are fortunate - but I do understand appreciating a night off. My dh just isn't psychologically equipped to handle giving me a night off. So it is only when they are in respite care - now once every 3 months - that I have a night off from them, but then dh wants me to make up for some of the neglect that happens with the kids at home. Which is also understandable and reasonable. It is such a treat to not worry about one single other person than myself. And hard to believe that it has been almost 2 decades since that last happened. Maggie, my pup, is doing fairly well. Still not eating as well, and skittish, but happily stalks fireflies in the backyard. And is the best cuddler - she is snoring at my feet right now. I'm working on my bites - only two are still draining, so I think I will be okay. Thank you for asking! I think I missed something somewhere along the way.... It sounds like you and Maggie were attacked by a dog???!! Four-year-old thread!!
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Jul 17, 2019 22:46:13 GMT
Do you ever what makes people bump threads this old? Is there even anything controversial here? monklady123, no worries! That was long in our past. Right now Maggie - my pup - is in the front window watching for the food delivery person. Our power went out for the first time in years - a large swath of Fairfax Co. - and we ordered via GrubHub. I hope y’all weathered the storm okay.
|
|
|
Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jul 17, 2019 23:11:37 GMT
I too have wondered why people search out and post on threads from multiple years ago. Why not just start a new thread. Same topics threads, have been posted many times.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Jul 17, 2019 23:19:15 GMT
Do you ever what makes people bump threads this old? Is there even anything controversial here? monklady123, no worries! That was long in our past. Right now Maggie - my pup - is in the front window watching for the food delivery person. Our power went out for the first time in years - a large swath of Fairfax Co. - and we ordered via GrubHub. I hope y’all weathered the storm okay. I find the search engine still be pretty hit or miss. This may have been the first thread that popped with whatever keywords the bumper used. Add the fact that the thread was started in July and maybe they just didn't even notice the year. I only checked the year because I'm not likely to miss a multi-pager especially when it is very relevant to my stage of life.
|
|
|
Post by mom on Jul 17, 2019 23:51:23 GMT
I've been taking a break from posting at 2Peas but had to comment on this. My youngest is moving 9 hours away and I found out today that he is leaving earlier than we realized because of Fish Camp. I was already dreading him leaving, but now he's leaving a week earlier than I planned and it has been like a punch to the gut. I know one week earlier isn't a huge thing but it just *feels* huge. I had mentally prepared for late August and now its going too be mid August. 9 hours, I can't imagine. I mean I know they are supposed to grow up and move out, but it seems it went by so fast. Too fast. I'm not ready for our relationship to change. I've told him he isn't all allowed to come home until after family weekend which is a month from when he goes. I figure he needs that time to become a Cowboy and be part of his new life. I happen to have a conference for school at his university the weekend before, so I hope to see him then, but I may take his gf and drop her off with him while I go to the conference and then take them both out to dinner. Children should come with remotes. You should be able to pause, mute, ff and rewind. Thats a good rule! DS won't be home til Christmas break. We will go see him mid September (6 weeks after he moves there), then we will meet him in Dallas in early November. For Thanksgiving he is flying to California with his dad for the entire break so I had to squeeze in seeing him before then. I was good-ish when DS1 went to college as he is less than 2 hours away. But I am not liking DS2 being all the way across the state of Texas. I knew this was coming but damn. It came so quick.
|
|
|
Post by quietgirl on Jul 18, 2019 0:14:43 GMT
I've been taking a break from posting at 2Peas but had to comment on this. My youngest is moving 9 hours away and I found out today that he is leaving earlier than we realized because of Fish Camp. I was already dreading him leaving, but now he's leaving a week earlier than I planned and it has been like a punch to the gut. I know one week earlier isn't a huge thing but it just *feels* huge. I had mentally prepared for late August and now its going too be mid August. I'm sorry, mom .
|
|
|
Post by Lexica on Jul 18, 2019 0:32:51 GMT
When my son was living here after the age of 18, he was a total asshat. He wouldn’t communicate with me, he was lying all the time, and he would constantly break the very few rules that I had for him living with me. I also wanted him to pay a nominal amount of rent. I didn’t need the rent money, I just wanted to teach him to be responsible with his finances instead of watching him blow his paycheck on going out and drinking with his buddies. His food and everything else was included with the amount I requested. I just wanted to instill budgeting and responsibility in him.
My plan was to save all the rent he paid and give it back to him to put toward whatever big purchase he needed or to combine toward a down on a condo or something. He refused to pay a dime saying this was his home too. He had moved back in with me after living with his dad for a few years. He had zero rules at his father’s house. He and his father were like a couple of teens together, always sneaking out of the house to go golfing or fishing, leaving really early before his stepmom woke and tried to stop them from going. His dad set a terrible example of how a man should treat his spouse. He eventually left there to return to my house because he didn’t like the constant fighting - between his dad and stepmom as well as he and his dad.
Not only did he refuse to pay rent and follow any rules here, he was just a big pain to be around, mouthy, sullen, and rude. He was not the kid I had raised at all. After months of trying to reach him, I ended up booting him out. He had such an entitlement attitude at that age. We had a couple of rough years while he matured. I wasn’t sad to see him go, I was sad to see where he was with his development.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Jul 18, 2019 0:39:04 GMT
My daughter was never a jerk and we've always been pretty tight. When she moved out she bought a house a few blocks from us so we still see her all the time. We've always been pals. I love being an empty nester. We can run around naked again and neck anytime we want to without being told to get a room. My youngest was a dream kid (after he turned nine). He and his brother (had about 15 months of losing his mind) live together and we see them every week. My husband is fishing with my oldest right now. I miss family meals and how funny my kids are. We still travel together and they come over for meals sometimes too. I miss the entertainment of kids. I do love having me time again and that the house is clean. They are supposed to grow up and leave. All is good.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Jul 18, 2019 0:42:42 GMT
I've been taking a break from posting at 2Peas but had to comment on this. My youngest is moving 9 hours away and I found out today that he is leaving earlier than we realized because of Fish Camp. I was already dreading him leaving, but now he's leaving a week earlier than I planned and it has been like a punch to the gut. I know one week earlier isn't a huge thing but it just *feels* huge. I had mentally prepared for late August and now its going too be mid August. My son's gf is interviewing for schools on the East coast. I am sad about it and she isn't even mine. We are all hoping she gets accepted into a Colorado school. Two schools in the south have already accepted her.
|
|
|
Post by 2marbles on Jul 18, 2019 0:50:39 GMT
I will miss my oldest after this summer...she probably won't return home for more than just a visit. She has a pretty serious boyfriend, and is getting an off campus place, we think, so the lease will be for the whole year. She's also over her summer job that she's had here for the last two summers....time to move on. I will miss her terribly from afar...I won't miss the messes or the complaining about her sisters.
|
|
|
Post by monklady123 on Jul 18, 2019 1:18:43 GMT
Do you ever what makes people bump threads this old? Is there even anything controversial here? monklady123 , no worries! That was long in our past. Right now Maggie - my pup - is in the front window watching for the food delivery person. Our power went out for the first time in years - a large swath of Fairfax Co. - and we ordered via GrubHub. I hope y’all weathered the storm okay. hahahahahaha I didn't even notice the date on the thread! Although when I read a few of your posts I thought your kids were older than what you said. oy... -- Anyway, glad it's not recent. My part of Arlington didn't lose power but more north they did. We had some wind though...tomorrow is our trash day so all the cans are out by the curb, and I saw someone's recycling bin go flying down the street with boxes and papers flying out behind it.
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on Jul 18, 2019 3:11:31 GMT
In my case, I absolutely loved being a SAHM. My identity was based upon it. When they both left for college I was very sad, because I missed my life as a mother and I missed my boys terribly. Then I got used to the quiet and clean house and dh and I developed some new habits. It sort of felt like we were dating, again. It was that couple's time that we didn't have for many years. Now they're home for the summer and I'm in my happy place. However, when they leave in the fall I'll be happy to have my honeymoon back, too.
I guess the short answer is that I love being a mom. Raising kids was the best part of my life and the best career I've ever had. I'm planning to rock the grandma thing when the time comes.
|
|
|
Post by refugeepea on Jul 18, 2019 4:38:17 GMT
I don't know why a four year old thread was resurrected, but I still feel the same way; envious. My reality is two kids who will stay at the maturity of a ten year old and two year old. I'll never be an empty nester.
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on Jul 18, 2019 4:56:54 GMT
I don't know why a four year old thread was resurrected, but I still feel the same way; envious. My reality is two kids who will stay at the maturity of a ten year old and two year old. I'll never be an empty nester. Just sending moral support. Not that I really liked your post.
|
|
paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,027
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
|
Post by paget on Jul 18, 2019 5:30:52 GMT
I don't know why a four year old thread was resurrected, but I still feel the same way; envious. My reality is two kids who will stay at the maturity of a ten year old and two year old. I'll never be an empty nester. Hugs to you. ❤️ I’m a case manager for children with developmental disabilities and I work every day to help parents get a break, have support etc. I just wanted you to know I really hear you and even if it doesn’t help you, I want you to know when I read your posts it just encourages me that much more to help my families. I wish I could help you, too.
|
|
hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,682
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Aug 29, 2014 18:57:20 GMT
|
Post by hannahruth on Jul 18, 2019 6:38:37 GMT
Not everyone's kids are assholes. Ouch - that was a little harsh!
|
|
mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
|
Post by mlana on Jul 18, 2019 7:35:03 GMT
My DS really struggled when it was time for him to move out. He’d save almost enough, then blow it on junk. He’d get so angry with himself and he’d take it out on us, especially on his little sister. One day I overheard him say something horrible to her and that was that. From then on he signed his paychecks over to me and I gave him an allowance and put the rest aside until he had enough to move. Needless to say, he was so angry with me he barely spoke to me for a couple of years. He had a gf move in with him, then they moved to CA when his lease was up.
This might sound awful, but I was so relieved when he left. He thought he was hurting me by leaving our company and moving so far away, but I hated being caught between him and DH when they disagreed on business and I hated seeing him make so many mistakes. I didn’t want him to marry his gf, but he did eventually and they are doin fine. It took him about 5 years to call and tell me he was sorry for behaving so badly. He thanked me for keeping his little sister safe from his awful behaviors because he really does want her to think well of him.
I’m really proud of the man he’s become, but I think we will get along better with distance between us, kwim?
It almost killed me when DD left for college, for very selfish reasons. DH and I were having a lot of issues at the time and the thought of being home alone with him every night was causing me to have anxiety attacks. I knew the house was going to be tomb with DD gone, and it was. Still, I encouraged her to go to a college 4 hours away. She came home every month and I lived for those weekends.
Then she decided to go to China for a year and I felt like I had been gut punched. Still, I encouraged her to go. She left for China in the fall of 2015, the same year DH had his stroke, our family dog, and my constant shadow, died, and my grandmother died. If my mom hadn’t come and spent a lot of time here, I’m not sure I could have stayed sane. DD moved home for almost 2 years after college, but always intended to move out when she got on her feet. That happened in January of this year. She lives about 40 minutes away and comes home every Sunday for sure, sometimes on Saturday to spend the night. I encourage her to go out with friends, but it’s so hard when I really want her to come over.
DH lives in his office, playing games on his phone while watching tv. Other than walking his laps when i insist, that’s all he does. No conversation, no real interaction. He might occasionally come in where I am and watch a YouTube video with me, but he seldom watches the whole thing. He seems really happy with our life and is always gobsmacked when I say I need something more. He thinks we have an ideal arrangement.
If other moms know this is in their future, I totally understand why they dread the last kid leaving home.
Marcy
|
|
SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,739
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
|
Post by SweetieBsMom on Jul 18, 2019 11:57:24 GMT
I'm jealous of empty nesters. I'll never go through that stage. Me too. I'll never have an empty nest either.
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Jul 18, 2019 12:03:34 GMT
I don't know why a four year old thread was resurrected, but I still feel the same way; envious. My reality is two kids who will stay at the maturity of a ten year old and two year old. I'll never be an empty nester. (((Hugs))) me either.
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Jul 18, 2019 12:04:01 GMT
I'm jealous of empty nesters. I'll never go through that stage. Me too. I'll never have an empty nest either. (((Hugs)))
|
|
|
Post by Bobomommy on Jul 18, 2019 13:47:06 GMT
My daughter thought she was an adult in her teens and gave me attitude. When she graduated high school she moved out because she didn’t like having to tell me when she would be home. I still missed her. She’s 26 and married now. She realizes how immature she was at 18.
My two boys are still living at home. One is 23 and finishing college. He is engaged and will be marrying the sweetest young lady in September.
The youngest is 21, working full time, and saving for a house of his own. At the rate he’s saving, I anticipate him buying something next year.
I’ve been widowed for 8 years and am dreading having no one in the house.
|
|
trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Jul 2, 2014 22:14:02 GMT
|
Post by trollie on Jul 18, 2019 14:09:43 GMT
I've been taking a break from posting at 2Peas but had to comment on this. My youngest is moving 9 hours away and I found out today that he is leaving earlier than we realized because of Fish Camp. I was already dreading him leaving, but now he's leaving a week earlier than I planned and it has been like a punch to the gut. I know one week earlier isn't a huge thing but it just *feels* huge. I had mentally prepared for late August and now its going too be mid August. I'm sorry. That's hard.
|
|
StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,691
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
|
Post by StephDRebel on Jul 19, 2019 3:42:48 GMT
I've been taking a break from posting at 2Peas but had to comment on this. My youngest is moving 9 hours away and I found out today that he is leaving earlier than we realized because of Fish Camp. I was already dreading him leaving, but now he's leaving a week earlier than I planned and it has been like a punch to the gut. I know one week earlier isn't a huge thing but it just *feels* huge. I had mentally prepared for late August and now its going too be mid August. My youngest is moving away on sunday. I feel every letter you typed, it's hard stuff.
|
|
Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
|
Post by Dalai Mama on Jul 19, 2019 12:45:50 GMT
As my 19-year-old was helping an old homeless man undo a knot in his shoe last night, I thought, "This is why I cried when he went away to university."
My kids are my role models.
|
|