Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:20:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 3:48:27 GMT
I saw a photo on President Bush's IG account congratulating a vet and wishing best wishes to his fiancée on their recent engagement. One of the comments was extolling the account holder for knowing the difference between the two greetings. I didn't know there was one so I looked it up.
According to etiquette, you are to say "Best Wishes" to the bride because to say otherwise implies that it was not assumed that she would marry. You are to congratulate the groom for succeeding in getting her to say "yes."
I've never heard this before. I'm a West Coast girl. Have you heard it?
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Miss Cleo
Full Member
Posts: 137
Jun 27, 2014 2:58:47 GMT
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Post by Miss Cleo on Aug 11, 2015 3:52:03 GMT
Yeah, I learned it watching a show on Netflix.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,543 
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Aug 11, 2015 3:53:34 GMT
Yes, I have heard of this, but it was long ago and I don't know that this rule is followed much in today's world.
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Post by annabella on Aug 11, 2015 3:54:10 GMT
Yes I read that when googling what to write in my friends wedding card. Lol
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chendra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,873
Location: The 33rd State
Jun 27, 2014 16:58:50 GMT
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Post by chendra on Aug 11, 2015 3:56:32 GMT
I did know this because I've liked reading etiquette books since I was a child. However, I don't follow the protocol because I don't believe in the line of thinking behind it. Too quaint.
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ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,083
Location: Valley of the Sun
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Aug 11, 2015 3:59:14 GMT
I've never heard that before.
I grew up in the Midwest but have lived in the southwest and south too.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,580
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 11, 2015 4:03:56 GMT
Yes I did but have no idea how I know.
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 11, 2015 4:04:35 GMT
I think that is very old fashioned.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,168
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Post by Gennifer on Aug 11, 2015 4:05:10 GMT
Yes I did but have no idea how I know.  |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Aug 11, 2015 4:04:57 GMT
I had no idea.
Now I wonder if I ever offended any brides to be by saying "Congratulations" instead of "Best wishes!"
Eek.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 11, 2015 4:07:51 GMT
Nope. Seems a little etiquette"y" for me.
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Post by lumo on Aug 11, 2015 4:10:21 GMT
Yes, I did know this. I'm not a big etiquette person, but I actually like this *because* of the quaintness  |
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Aug 11, 2015 4:15:25 GMT
I'm from the PNW and knew the difference and which was correct for whom forever it seems. Actually, I believe we were told that in Home Ec. So from the time I was 15 maybe.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Aug 11, 2015 4:19:35 GMT
I have never heard it before today, but I also would never follow it. I congratulate both people. The reason not too is absurd.
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Post by elaine on Aug 11, 2015 4:21:33 GMT
Yes I did but have no idea how I know. Because you know everything! Especially important things like this.  |
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Post by auntkelly on Aug 11, 2015 4:28:35 GMT
My mom told me this when I was a little girl.
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joinutah
Junior Member
Posts: 88
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Post by joinutah on Aug 11, 2015 4:29:52 GMT
When I was young I learned it in a manners class for young ladies. I also learned how to stand with my feet in the T position, phone call etiquette, what to carry in my purse and how to properly introduce individuals, among other things. I'm from the South. Jo |
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:20:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 4:32:38 GMT
I am aware of the difference between the two, but would never think less of someone or correct them for using the terms interchangeably.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on Aug 11, 2015 4:35:04 GMT
Yes, but I say "congratulations" to both. I can imagine writing "best wishes" in a card, but I can't really imagine saying it out loud. It sounds so old-fashioned.
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Post by justkat on Aug 11, 2015 4:35:28 GMT
Yes, I learned it in finishing school. I've noticed very few people follow it however.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 11, 2015 4:36:40 GMT
I had heard that you're not supposed to say "congratulations" to the bride but I had never heard why or what you were supposed to say. I said it anyway because it seemed stupid not to. I will still say it, because I still think it's stupid not to.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 14:20:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 4:37:49 GMT
Yes.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,240
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
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Post by Sue on Aug 11, 2015 5:20:08 GMT
Yes, I learned this back in the dark ages but rarely follow the rule. It just comes out sounding so awkward.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,039
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Aug 11, 2015 6:02:52 GMT
No, I've never heard this before. Apparently I was raised in a barn.  |
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gsquaredmom
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Posts: 4,091
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Aug 11, 2015 8:45:59 GMT
Never heard of it and won't use it.
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Post by KelleeM on Aug 11, 2015 8:57:50 GMT
I did know but I have absolutely no idea when, where, or why I learned it. I really wish I could remember!
Even here on engagement threads by brides-to-be I always post "best wishes for a long and happy marriage."
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 14:20:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 9:35:34 GMT
Yes I did know, don't know how though, probably from my Mum.
It's a bit old fashioned and quaint to stick to the meaning of it now IMO. Nowadays it's not always the groom to be, that proposes to the bride to be. It's the other way round in many cases. And with same sex marriages, it's not applicable really as there is no groom and no bride in the traditional sense.
I congratulate them both and wish them both best wishes for the future.
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Post by Really Red on Aug 11, 2015 9:38:58 GMT
Yup, I knew. I also think it's old fashioned.
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oldcrow
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Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Aug 11, 2015 9:42:45 GMT
I had no idea. Now I wonder if I ever offended any brides to be by saying "Congratulations" instead of "Best wishes!" Eek. That would depend on how hard she worked to get him to succeed in getting her to say yes.  |
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Post by lucyg on Aug 11, 2015 9:45:23 GMT
Yes, I know about it, and I usually follow it, just because I like knowing and following arcane rules of etiquette. |
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