artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,012
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:10 GMT
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Post by artbabe on Jul 23, 2014 11:30:02 GMT
How awful! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I have no advice, just wanted you to know that I feel for you.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jul 23, 2014 11:30:07 GMT
I'm so very sorry you are going through this trauma, but you seem to have clear sight and determination. Those two traits will enable you to weed whack your way out of the morass.
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MaryC
Full Member
Posts: 213
Jun 25, 2014 21:52:55 GMT
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Post by MaryC on Jul 23, 2014 11:39:36 GMT
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It sickens me that people find infidelity amusing when it shatters hearts and lives.
Is the nursing program you're attending through a state university? You might call their financial aid officer and ask if they have any emergency housing funds available, or if you are eligible for any type of additional emergency assistance such as a displaced homemaker's program (programs for women who have not been in the active workforce, but have been displaced due to divorce, death of a spouse, or economic hardship). I would also contact any women's shelters in the area - since you are in danger of losing your home, they may be able to direct you to more programs that can help.
Sending you prayers and hugs.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 23, 2014 11:44:13 GMT
I am so sorry. I remember your recent post about your DH being laid off etc along with your housing situation. HUGS....Glad you kicked his ass to the curb. Wish a friend would be as strong as you and do the same.
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Post by ScrappyLin on Jul 23, 2014 11:51:40 GMT
I am so sorry you are going through this. I am in awe of your strength. That is such an amazing quality to teach your daughter. I wish you all the best.
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Post by cropaholicnora on Jul 23, 2014 11:53:16 GMT
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Btdt and it stinks. But you are doing all the right things and have gotten wonderful advice from everyone. Know that you are strong enough, smart enough, and simply ENOUGH to do all that you need to for yourself and your DD.
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Post by disneyjunkie on Jul 23, 2014 11:56:51 GMT
I don't have any advice to offer but didn't want to read and run. Hugs and prayers for you and dd. You can get through this - stay strong!
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,532
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 23, 2014 12:00:45 GMT
Sending you my very best. Good riddance to bad garbage.
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Post by jesslee on Jul 23, 2014 12:04:43 GMT
I'm sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like you are doing the right thing even though its hurts like hell. You will get through this a stronger women. Keep you eyes on you and your daughters goals and dreams.
Take care of you.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,417
Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Jul 23, 2014 12:10:46 GMT
I'm so sorry. Why do people think they will never get caught? It always comes out..sooner or later.
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Post by Flibbertigibbet on Jul 23, 2014 12:15:19 GMT
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You deserve better.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 23, 2014 12:19:51 GMT
Oh my gosh you have so much on your plate already, you really didn't need this too. I am so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers. Just keep charging ahead and you will come out the other side.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 15:33:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2014 12:39:34 GMT
I am so sorry. It's heartbreaking, but you deserve better.
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
Jun 26, 2014 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by gloryjoy on Jul 23, 2014 12:41:56 GMT
I am so very sorry. Stand tall, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
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Post by joyfromny on Jul 23, 2014 12:47:43 GMT
No advice, but I am so sorry.
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Post by triplejscrapper on Jul 23, 2014 12:54:52 GMT
You did nothing wrong. You control what you choose to tell people. It's OK to say that you don't want to talk about it. ---she's right. It's perfectly fine to say "I don't want to talk about it". Just carry on with improving your life (with nursing school) and the life of your daughter. I know it's hard, I've been there. My ex was unemployed for months, wasn't even looking for a job and while I was off at work he had a drug addict in our home...in our bed. You will make it through this...I promise. Hold your head up high and be proud of all that you have accomplished as a mother and just put one foot in front of the other...do it minute by minute if you needed.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 23, 2014 13:02:34 GMT
I'm so sorry! I know things have been tough lately. It sounds like, in hindsight, you've been alone anyway. I hope you can get some emergency help. {{{Hugs}}}
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Post by Linda on Jul 23, 2014 13:02:44 GMT
prayers
I wouldn't say much - simply we're separated and leave it at that. It's hard to take the high road but especially with children involved, it really is better to say nothing than something negative about their other parent - they'll figure out his character on their own and everyone else either already knows or will be able to figure it out
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Post by Penellopy on Jul 23, 2014 13:05:18 GMT
prayers I wouldn't say much - simply we're separated and leave it at that. It's hard to take the high road but especially with children involved, it really is better to say nothing than something negative about their other parent - they'll figure out his character on their own and everyone else either already knows or will be able to figure it out I agree. Sorry you are dealing with this. Keep your head high and keep moving forward.
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mochi
Full Member
Posts: 449
Jun 26, 2014 1:45:16 GMT
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Post by mochi on Jul 23, 2014 13:18:56 GMT
(((hugs))) Stay strong, the refugees are here for you!
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Post by lovemybabes on Jul 23, 2014 13:24:23 GMT
Hugs to you and your DD! You decide what to tell people. If you want to tell them he cheated, do so. If you don't want to tell them, don't. I understand this is like having the carpet pulled out from under your feet, but you're going to be okay! You are going back to school, you will have a job in the not too distant future, and your life will be so much better without him. It's scary now, but this has happened to others too, and after a while, life will be better than it ever was. A word of warning: even though your inlaws initially are on your side, it's no guarantee it will stay that way. When their initial shock has worn off, it's likely they will welcome him back. This. ((hugs)) I am so sorry. You will have a great career & future, even though now it looks so hard...just keep plugging away. You can do this.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 15:33:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2014 13:25:58 GMT
You need to get to a Dr. and get tested for stds. Go to surviving infidelity.com and ask questions. Someone there will know resources to help and give you an idea of what steps to take. It's a wonderful site.
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Post by katieanna on Jul 23, 2014 13:28:43 GMT
Thank you. I always try to look at the good side of things, and not wallow in self pity because there is always someone else who has it worse. I realized a long time ago that the only person who could help me is me. He had been wallowing in his own self pity for so long and kept making self destructive decisions. I realize now I have been bearing the weight of all the burdens on my own. This is so difficult and my feelings are so confused, but I things will probably be much easier without him creating more stress. I am trying to look at it like a fresh start. I plan to try to be mature and avoid drama as much as possible, I'm really hoping he doesn't fight my decisions and create a fiasco once his fling decides she is done with him. It sounds as if you've been through so much with your DH that the separation may be more of a relief than anything else. I would tell others only what you feel like telling them. "He cheated and I'm done," whatever works for you. It sounds like you are making positive steps and while it may not always be easy, you may be better off in the long run. Good luck to you and your DD.
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wannapea
Shy Member
Posts: 30
Jun 25, 2014 23:00:05 GMT
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Post by wannapea on Jul 23, 2014 13:31:02 GMT
If you feel the need to say anything (you owe no one an explanation though) just say you've been put in an unfortunate position and you're working hard to adjust quickly and get on with your life.
You'll get lots of great advice here, so I'm just going to say that I'm sorry you are dealing with this. You sound like a determined woman and I'm glad you threw his ass out.
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Pamelou
Full Member
Posts: 237
Jun 30, 2014 22:25:19 GMT
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Post by Pamelou on Jul 23, 2014 13:34:58 GMT
I'm sorry you're experiencing this at all, but you do not owe anyone an explanation. You can simply state that you and your husband are separated right now, if you feel you want to say anything at all. Hugs to you at this difficult time.
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Post by redayh on Jul 23, 2014 13:37:26 GMT
Dont you be embarassed at all. HE'S the one who did something wrong. I know this is not helpful at all, but I have to say: What.a.douche.
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
Posts: 3,258
Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Jul 23, 2014 13:41:02 GMT
What a prick! I'm sorry that you have to deal with this on top of everything else.
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Post by Laura in OK on Jul 23, 2014 13:59:54 GMT
I'm so sorry! You are a very strong person. You've proved that by how you've handled everything up to this point. Your life will be better, maybe not at first, but eventually. Stay on the path you've set for yourself. I also agree with the others, be very call with your in-laws. When he realizes the scope of what he's losing, he will be so sorry & could use them to try & convince you to take him back. Hang in there. We are all here for you.
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Post by gizzy on Jul 23, 2014 14:02:36 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,145
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Jul 23, 2014 14:15:11 GMT
I just read your message the other day about how bad the last couple of years have been for you and your family, I'm so sorry to hear about this on top of it all. It just seemed like you were holding such a positive attitude and had such a great sense of humor in spite of it all, so this just seems even worse. I really hope you have some sliding scale counseling available to you, it really is so helpful. I'm glad you have family on your side and local to you. Big hugs from me. You will be in my prayers. Thank you. I always try to look at the good side of things, and not wallow in self pity because there is always someone else who has it worse. I realized a long time ago that the only person who could help me is me. He had been wallowing in his own self pity for so long and kept making self destructive decisions. I realize now I have been bearing the weight of all the burdens on my own. This is so difficult and my feelings are so confused, but I things will probably be much easier without him creating more stress. I am trying to look at it like a fresh start. I plan to try to be mature and avoid drama as much as possible, I'm really hoping he doesn't fight my decisions and create a fiasco once his fling decides she is done with him. You are an amazingly strong person and your positive attitude will get you through! The fact that you are starting school soon is probably a good thing. Will give you something to focus on while you go through this. I'm sorry that he did this to you, no one deserves to be treated like that.
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