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Post by gale w on Jul 24, 2014 21:41:09 GMT
I'm sorry.
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Post by Dixie Lou on Jul 24, 2014 22:35:27 GMT
Thank you for the update! Bless your heart. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 14:37:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2014 22:52:49 GMT
It's ok to feel what you feel. It's a wild ride at first. Just remember that the slumps are temporary. Sending you good thoughts
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Post by roundtwo on Jul 24, 2014 22:58:57 GMT
I can't understand why they keep doing this even though they have been caught in the act so to speak - it is part of the cheaters handbook I think. They keep re-writing history until it suits them and it is maddening when they try and present it to you as fact. I'm 5 years out and the ex is still doing it - so frustrating.
The roller coaster is brutal at times, eventually it will level out but it will take a while to get there. You sound like a very strong courageous woman and you will get through this. Allow yourself to be angry or sad or whatever else you want to feel and remember that it's okay to let others know when you need a shoulder, a helping hand or a big glass of wine!!!
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,855
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jul 24, 2014 23:57:36 GMT
I'm so sorry about all this. You did not deserve this at all.
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Post by lovemybabes on Jul 25, 2014 0:06:20 GMT
((hugs)) again. Let it out, and then keep on trucking. Plow through, you can do this!!
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,726
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jul 25, 2014 0:09:37 GMT
Hang in there, give yourself permission to cry, but then remember how much better off you will be once this initial emotional storm blows over. You have school to look forward to, and a whole bunch of refupeas to give you a boost when you need one. Keep on keepin' on, we're rooting for you.
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suzastampin
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,587
Jun 28, 2014 14:32:59 GMT
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Post by suzastampin on Jul 25, 2014 0:34:48 GMT
My friend is just the sweetest person ever, but she couldn't take it any more. So she waited until the girl was with him. She was doing her act of hanging all over him, giggling, and being obnoxious. She stood outside while the husband went in the house to pick up more of his stuff. As soon as he came out with his bags of stuff, the wife slipped inside and came back out with a big clear bag and said "Don't forget your penis pump" loud enough for the neighbors to hear her. She said she knew doing this could go badly for her if he said he didn't need it with this new girl because she was so hot, but she did it anyway. She said the look on the new girls face was priceless. And the DH was so embarrassed and shocked that he just stood there getting all red and couldn't even come up with a come back before the wife went in the house and shut the door. I loved hearing her tell that story. We made her tell it over and over again, every time there was a new person out with us. It never got old. OMG! So glad I swallowed my water before I got to this! Hysterical!
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Post by stephofalltrades on Jul 25, 2014 0:46:26 GMT
I talked to his mom and was trying to find out what set off today's outburst and apparently she never even called. I guess he's just mad that she told me some of the rumors she heard and that she is checking in with me to make sure I'm ok and has left him to suffer. She's now even more mad at him for starting trouble and lying about her. I finally broke down and cried talking to her. I told her I didn't want to cause drama and cause a big rift in the family but he won't answer my messages or call, so I have no choice but to ask someone else to contact him or stop by Shady Cousins house and end up in an argument. His sister called this evening to check on me and is also furious with him, said she doesn't know how I didn't kill him. He's seriously self destructing with everyone around him.
I think someone asked about my family, I have a lot of my Dad's family right around me but we're basically estranged. My house is on his property that he had told me he would give me, then after I got into a big blowout with my step-mom, that never happened. I can see his house from the road in front of mine, but we never talk. His kids with her are treated totally different than me and there's a bunch of history there and it's another reason I want out of this house. Most of my mom's family is in the next state about 4 hrs away. I haven't told them what's going on yet. It hurts to bad to explain everything.
I broke down talking to MIL mostly because I love my in-laws so much and I don't want to cause them trouble or have them upset with me, but regardless of the reason I feel better now that everything isn't so bottled up.
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Post by momofkandn on Jul 25, 2014 1:20:51 GMT
I'm going to try and say this as gently as I can because I've been right where you are now and it was really hard for me to hear. But you have to stop talking to your MIL and your SIL about your husband. I think it's great that they are supportive of you. My in laws were as well. In fact, I was always closer to my SILs than my husband ever was. But I found out very quickly that commiserating with them over how much my husband was destroying his life actually hurt me more than helped. I loved him, I cared for him and watching him destroy his life made me miserable. Sharing that with others that loved him made the pain even worse.
You are about to set out on the hardest emotional road you have ever been on. And the only way through it is to stay focused on you. Lean on your in laws as long as they are there for you. Share with them how you are feeling, ask them for help. But don't let the conversation wonder back over to your estranged husband. You can't fix him. They can't fix him. But you can fix yourself and your DD. You are going to need to be a little selfish now and work on your own healing. You can't do that if you are worried about him. Don't be dragged down in his self destruction. So no more asking his family to check on him for you. It's up to him to reach out for help if he needs it. If the marriage is over, it's not your job to save him anymore.
I know how hard that is. Trust me, I am still tempted to save my ex from his stupid behavior. But I can't do it. And anytime I slip, I'm the one that ends up being hurt.
I have a great relationship with my in laws. The topic of their son/brother is not verboten. But they know that I am not going to get very deep into their worries for him or how mad they are at him. Their relationship with him is between them and him only. And does not include me anymore.
With all that said, you are still doing great! Like everything in life, you will make mistakes, take two steps back, but you will learn from them and surprise yourself with strength, grace and resilience you never knew you had. Big hugs!!!
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Post by txdancermom on Jul 25, 2014 1:31:15 GMT
Stay strong - you sound like you are on the right path and have some support there.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 14:37:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2014 2:54:29 GMT
You know when your own MOTHER wants to blacken your eyes for screwing up, it's pretty bad! He's just shocked no one is on his side right now and that there weren't throngs of ppl lining up to take him and nurse his wounds! Ride the roller coaster of emotions and don't fall prey to the GUILT he's gonna lay on you and dd. "Where will I go? What will I do? What about the life we had? " and all the accompanying whining and bullshit. It's not your concern. SCREW HIM! Keep plowin thru the BS and move forward! You're doing great!!!
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Post by Tamhugh on Jul 25, 2014 3:05:09 GMT
I am sorry for what you are going through. Keep your chin up and remember that you have nothing to be ashamed of... that is all on him.
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Post by BeckyTech on Jul 25, 2014 3:36:56 GMT
Ride the roller coaster of emotions and don't fall prey to the GUILT he's gonna lay on you and dd. "Where will I go? What will I do? What about the life we had? " and all the accompanying whining and bullshit. It's not your concern. SCREW HIM! Keep plowin thru the BS and move forward! You're doing great!!! A thousand times this, because I guarantee you he will start in on the "I love you" stage and wish all of this away. You are probably too strong to be even tempted, just don't let him guilt you into any of that crap. He's the one that threw it all away. Big hugs. You are getting some very wise words of advice. I'm sorry you are having a bad day.
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my3freaks
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,206
Location: NH girl living in Colorado
Jun 26, 2014 4:10:56 GMT
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Post by my3freaks on Jul 25, 2014 3:55:03 GMT
I think this is the best thing I've read in a while! You are amazingly strong! Melanie
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