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Post by 950nancy on Feb 16, 2016 18:11:48 GMT
No that would not bother me. I would expect my husband to respect me and any similar commitments I would want to make. I also do not feel that I need to control my partner's comings and goings and make his time all about me. He's found something he likes to do and wants to commit to, good for him. He should be encouraged, not discouraged because it takes time away from you and your plans. My husband and I completely respect each other's comings and goings. My problem with this would be the amount of time he would be gone. Having had boys in sports and traveling, I know this is a huge commitment. One team had three hour practices 6 days a week. I had a husband who worked nights and weekends and it does affect the marriage/family to some degree. I can see why she thought they might have more time together. I also can see a more established couple being excited to do the things together that they haven't been able to for years because they have been raising children together. I am in this part of my life also, so I think I am seeing it more from her point of view rather than her trying to be controlling. Marriage is a dance of compromise and telling your partner what you need. If they have raised two grown daughters, she's been doing this for quite some time. For me personally, I love time alone, but I know that not everyone feels the way I do.
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Post by moveablefeast on Feb 16, 2016 18:13:19 GMT
Children and teen are most likely to be assaulted by someone they know and trust. Also all it takes now days is one girl getting piss off can clamming he touch her in a way that made her feel unconformable to turn in to one hell of a mess. This is an argument for employing best practices for working with young people of any gender or sexual orientation, not an argument against a man coaching a team of teenage girls. My trouble with it would have absolutely nothing to do with him working with girls. My daughter has a male gymnastics coach and I think nothing of it. She has male dance teachers and a male gym teacher and one of her Girls on the Run sponsors is a man. Absolutely none of this bothers me. They are well trained and professional and my daughter is equipped and empowered to speak up when something is not right in her world. This is fine and appropriate. My only trouble with it would be that we didn't talk about it first. Our rule of thumb in our house is if it takes a lot of time or money, we should consult each other before committing. Only on rare occasion has one or the other of us said "I'd really rather you didn't" and so we respect each other greatly when we do. It's not control, it's just how we run things in our partnership. But if he wanted to coach a girls' team I wouldn't even think twice about the misconduct aspect of it.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 16, 2016 18:15:20 GMT
Yes i feel the same way if a women was coaching a all male team and did not have a child on the team. There is no need for them to be coaching. In our experiences with sports, there were many teams that needed a coach. A good coach provides so many things to a team. I am betting there could be girls on this team who just might need a strong male role model in their lives.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 16, 2016 18:20:25 GMT
Children and teen are most likely to be assaulted by someone they know and trust. Also all it takes now days is one girl getting piss off can clamming he touch her in a way that made her feel unconformable to turn in to one hell of a mess. My husband worked to rehab athletes in a school setting. There were many female athletes. He was always very, very careful not to put himself in a questionable position. The only issue there was when he was at work was another male teacher being inappropriate with male students. He was fired and served jail time. In today's world every adult must think about what they say and do with students. Always. It is no longer just about males and females.
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Post by jackie on Feb 16, 2016 18:32:42 GMT
Yes, it has taken an ugly turn. Luckily there are only a couple people whose minds take that nasty turn, so don't let it get to you.
As I've said, I completely understand and empathize with you. My dh is gone almost half of the summer and it's almost entirely on weekends. You marry someone and create a family for a reason--and for most of us part of that is to enjoy one another as a family, It doesn't mean you lack independence. It doesn't mean you can't have separate interests and do things on your own. It just means that there is something special about spending lots of time together too, especially during downtime like the summer. I sometimes enjoy having my dh gone--makes it easier to plan things with friends and do activities that don't interest him. But, we enjoy doing so many things together. When I'm doing all of the activities either alone or with a friend or the kids--water parks, amusement parks, camping, barbecuing, canoeing, going to plays, taking short trips, etc. it can get a little sad. I feel sad that dh isn't there for most of those things, the kids are sad, and he's actually sad too. He might enjoy what he's doing while he's away, but he misses that stuff with us.
I am curious though, has it ever been discussed that he coach a local rec league? It seems like a great compromise--he does what he enjoys but it's not nearly as time consuming. My dd has played on a rec league for years. Practices start in April and by mid-June they're done.
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Post by nurseypants on Feb 16, 2016 18:34:09 GMT
I don't, because teaching is a vocation, not a hobby. I am not understanding the distinction. Care to elaborate? Well, not really, because if you don't understand the distinction you never will, no matter what I say.
Listen, we certainly don't have to agree. Our experiences in this world make us who we are, and that includes how we feel about things. The people on this board are varied, and have many different experiences, so there are many different opinions here. My first thought about this guy is 'I don't really care for his decision and I wonder about his motives.' That is because of things I have seen and known. I don't know him, his wife or his family beyond what has been said here.
Your first thought may be different because you have not had the experiences I have had. That's really all there is to it.
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Post by beanbuddymom on Feb 16, 2016 18:53:28 GMT
I would be upset that he heard my opinion and then turned around and did what he wanted. But I get that he wanted to continue. From the mother of a DD in sports, it's pretty devastating to have a great coach leave and takes a while to get into the groove of things. He may want to do this for a few years until the team he has put together has graduated - not just his DD but a few years of students/players.
DD wasn't the only player on the team and I respect his feeling of wanting to continue on and not let down the players by quitting just because his DD is done. Again, just from the mom perspective, the team members see it coming but aren't happy about it and it's sad to see when they lose a great coach.
Friday night lights - great coach - remember how upset people were when he left? Think of it from that perspective.
But as the wife, yeah, I see it's upsetting, especially since your DD isn't playing and the younger one is off to college. He will miss a lot of time with her this summer. Cats in the cradle type of thing. Maybe you and the girls can make one of the tournments though to cheer on the team anyway to make a weekend of it just for fun.
I'm sorry I don't really see him as totally being selfish because coaches often feel guilty for abandoning their team so if anything I can see he is likely feeling conflicted and then made the decision to continue with the team. I see his decision as disappointing to the family, however, because I as a parent and wife would want to be both considered, heard, and I would want him to want to spend time with us instead of his team. I would just make plans as much as possible that you could include him and otherwise do things with your DD that maybe he would not necessarily be part of anyway such as places you might go that he wouldn't want to go (shopping, places that he didn't care for, etc.)
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 16, 2016 19:03:14 GMT
My husband has a hobby that sucks up a ton of time for about 6-8 weeks of the year including out of state travel. Right now our kids are also involved, but I'd be shocked frankly if he gives it up when our children are off to college. He LOVES it - and it's a huge break from his 9-5 job staring at a computer screen all day. I am totally supportive. I think if someone finds something they really enjoy, they should do it. Sure it's a pain for those couple months to not have some help schlepping their kids to their activities - and our family dinners take a hit. But, I don't have any concerns about our marriage - nor do I need him to entertain me 365 days of the year. I wonder if the OP's husband is as interested in the summer activities she's been looking forward to - hiking, travel and sitting around the pool. It may be that he really doesn't enjoy them and she should find someone else to spend those interests with. I think ever couple is different in terms of how much time they want to spend together and how involved they are in other things. Maybe it would be different if my husband traveled for work or was otherwise not around. He's blessed with an extremely flexible job that allows him a fair amount of family time the rest of the year. I'm happy to support him - just as he supports my mother-daughter vacations and weekends away with my friends. please see my response above. I actually do far more without my husband then with him. On top of working a full time job he also ref's volleyball, ref's basketball in the winter and coaches this team. Between both my girls, my sister, friends, and other family I always have someone to do something with. Perhaps Im being selfish, but we haven't had 1 normal summer in 11 years. the thoughts of having no commitments and time to plan activities the both of us enjoy just sounded really nice for a summer or 2. and yes..he does like to travel, hike and sit by the pool with us, among other things. they were just some examples. That's a lot of time outside of family. I'm sorry you haven't found a balance that works for both of you.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 16, 2016 19:04:24 GMT
I don't like the turn this thread has taken I totally appreciate everyone's responses, even the ones that don't necessarily agree with me. But...to insinuate that someone is up to no good simply because they like teaching a sport is utterly ridiculous and frankly very sad. Im so glad I don't live my life in fear of every man that comes in contact with my daughters. I am very glad he has a hobby. Like I have explained to him numerous times..everyone deserves to have a hobby they love. That being said, not everyones hobby is so time consuming. Unfortunately when married with children we cant always do everything we want to do. There may be things we have to put on the back burner for the sake of others in the house. I think after doing this for so long we deserve to have 1 summer where we have no commitments. I never asked him to give it up completely, but I don't think it would kill him to take a break for a summer or 2. That is just my opinion. I also do not need him around me all the time...I probably do more on my own then with him. Whats done is done for this summer and I will make the best of it. It certainly would have been nice to have a whole summer to plan things though.. I would have to chalk up the negative comments due to some people having a bad experience with a situation. What I do understand is that some people love to coach. They just do. They also love to keep active and do what they love. I loved teaching and miss the kids. I volunteer at my old school once a week and really it is a great part of the week to spend time with kids in a fun setting. Like other people have said, negative comments about your husband spending time around girls says a lot more about them. And maybe they do have a reason. I guess it just comes off a very judgey about your husband and it shouldn't have the slightest impact on you. Perhaps he will see that it isn't as fun as he first imagined. Personally, I wouldn't attend the games. I would rather spend time alone or with my family. I am sure it will be different without his family around. Ihope you have a great summer regardless of the situation.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Feb 16, 2016 19:19:32 GMT
I am not understanding the distinction. Care to elaborate? Well, not really, because if you don't understand the distinction you never will, no matter what I say. Listen, we certainly don't have to agree. Our experiences in this world make us who we are, and that includes how we feel about things. The people on this board are varied, and have many different experiences, so there are many different opinions here. My first thought about this guy is 'I don't really care for his decision and I wonder about his motives.' That is because of things I have seen and known. I don't know him, his wife or his family beyond what has been said here.
Your first thought may be different because you have not had the experiences I have had. That's really all there is to it.
Vocation= paid position Volunteer coaching (or hobby as you like to refer to it)= unpaid position.
The amount of money one makes in a position does not make them more or less likely to molest.
Our particular experiences does not make this any less true.
Which BTW, I also have knowledge about the subject matter.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Feb 16, 2016 19:24:34 GMT
And one where he is surrounded by a lot of young beautiful women who probably fawn all over him! I'm not saying he's an adulterer, but there will likely be temptations, especially since you don't plan to be there... Ya know men should definitely never be allowed out unless they have their partners to keep an eye on them. They obviously can not be trusted... I know, right? This thread has taken such a bizarre turn. I am all for taking steps to protect the sanctity of your marriage by avoiding possible stumbling blocks and all that jazz but good gracious, when coaching a teenage girls sports team becomes seen as a possible stumbling block for an affair, that is to much!
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Feb 16, 2016 19:28:51 GMT
Children and teen are most likely to be assaulted by someone they know and trust. Also all it takes now days is one girl getting piss off can clamming he touch her in a way that made her feel unconformable to turn in to one hell of a mess. My husband worked to rehab athletes in a school setting. There were many female athletes. He was always very, very careful not to put himself in a questionable position. The only issue there was when he was at work was another male teacher being inappropriate with male students. He was fired and served jail time. In today's world every adult must think about what they say and do with students. Always. It is no longer just about males and females. You don't say. Gasp! A teacher in a paid position. Forgive my sarcasm but just today I was led to believe that it was the unpaid male coaches coaching young ladies you had to look out for. Those with a vocation were safe. Those working with boys were safe. Apparently that was incorrect.
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Post by Karen-in-Indiana on Feb 16, 2016 19:44:18 GMT
I haven't read all of the replies on this thread but want to throw this out to you. My DD has been in travel softball for several years so I get how you feel. She is a senior this year and playing in college also so this is our last full year and I'm looking forward to it ending!
A big thanks to your hubby for all he's done along the way so far as coaching is not easy and the work that goes into it, especially for a travel team, is enormous, and voluntary to boot. That said, I really feel he should have consulted the family on this decision because it does affect you also. Who's the one left at home to take care of things when he travels should you not go?
Our coach from last year had softball in his blood. He loves it! But when his Senior daughter decided she didn't want to play anymore, he consulted his family and they all decided that he would stop coaching. His wife wanted her husband back.
Understandable that you are upset over this. I know I would be.
Good luck, Karen
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Post by flanz on Feb 16, 2016 19:46:30 GMT
And one where he is surrounded by a lot of young beautiful women who probably fawn all over him! I'm not saying he's an adulterer, but there will likely be temptations, especially since you don't plan to be there... Ya know men should definitely never be allowed out unless they have their partners to keep an eye on them. They obviously can not be trusted... I trust my husband. But anything could happen. Some men go crazy when bombarded with attention by someone who isn't asking them to take out the trash, etc, and their egos can explode when they are fawned over. I'm not saying OPs husband would cheat, but it is good to look at situations from all angles.
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Post by nurseypants on Feb 16, 2016 19:48:07 GMT
Well, not really, because if you don't understand the distinction you never will, no matter what I say. Listen, we certainly don't have to agree. Our experiences in this world make us who we are, and that includes how we feel about things. The people on this board are varied, and have many different experiences, so there are many different opinions here. My first thought about this guy is 'I don't really care for his decision and I wonder about his motives.' That is because of things I have seen and known. I don't know him, his wife or his family beyond what has been said here.
Your first thought may be different because you have not had the experiences I have had. That's really all there is to it.
Vocation= paid position Volunteer coaching (or hobby as you like to refer to it)= unpaid position.
The amount of money one makes in a position does not make them more or less likely to molest.
Our particular experiences does not make this any less true.
Which BTW, I also have knowledge about the subject matter.
I'm not sure why you are taking this so very personally and feeling like you have to die on this hill. Again, it's perfectly ok for us to disagree.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Feb 16, 2016 19:53:30 GMT
Ya know men should definitely never be allowed out unless they have their partners to keep an eye on them. They obviously can not be trusted... I trust my husband. But anything could happen. Some men go crazy when bombarded with attention by someone who isn't asking them to take out the trash, etc, and their egos can explode when they are fawned over. I'm not saying OPs husband would cheat, but it is good to look at situations from all angles. Or he could be like most men (and women) who have control over themselves and don't react to shallow, selfish things like fawning and flaunting. Seriously. It blows my mind that people think that others are automatically going to stray just because they are away from their partners and family. Really brings the whole "ball and chain" thing into perspective and makes me understand why some people refer to or are referred to as such.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,350
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Feb 16, 2016 19:53:43 GMT
Maybe (hopefully?) this will be a transition year for him where he will realize that his life has changed. My ex husband was really into coaching soccer. It had become a huge part of his life and identity, and when it was all over I know he missed it terribly. It meant a lot more to him than just helping out his son. He had learned so much about the game, about kids, how to prep them, and formed friendships with other coaches. I wonder if he will come to realize, as the season goes on, that it doesn't mean the same thing to him without his daughter there. That's what I'm thinking too. i wouldn't be happy but I would give it the year to see how it goes and talk again before next year.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Feb 16, 2016 19:55:08 GMT
Vocation= paid position Volunteer coaching (or hobby as you like to refer to it)= unpaid position.
The amount of money one makes in a position does not make them more or less likely to molest.
Our particular experiences does not make this any less true.
Which BTW, I also have knowledge about the subject matter.
I'm not sure why you are taking this so very personally and feeling like you have to die on this hill. Again, it's perfectly ok for us to disagree. I get it because by saying you have more trust in someone who is in a vocation versus a volunteer position, you are saying that because someone is getting paid they aren't going to molest. However, the amount of money paid or not paid is irrelevant to that urge. I think that's the point. And really? A volunteer is just as important to an organization as someone in a paid position.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Feb 16, 2016 20:07:45 GMT
Vocation= paid position Volunteer coaching (or hobby as you like to refer to it)= unpaid position.
The amount of money one makes in a position does not make them more or less likely to molest.
Our particular experiences does not make this any less true.
Which BTW, I also have knowledge about the subject matter.
I'm not sure why you are taking this so very personally and feeling like you have to die on this hill. Again, it's perfectly ok for us to disagree. Because you made it personal. You insinuated to a woman something was wrong with her husband for wanting to coaching a girl's sports team. If that isn't personal, I don't know what is.
And because I have had to deal with ignorant people with your views in the past re: my own husband. It IS personal.
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Post by nurseypants on Feb 16, 2016 20:29:33 GMT
So just after my last post I wondered if you or someone you loved had found yourselves in this position. I'm so sorry that happened to your husband. I certainly hope that name-calling made you feel better.
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Post by maryland on Feb 16, 2016 20:30:01 GMT
Yes i feel the same way if a women was coaching a all male team and did not have a child on the team. There is no need for them to be coaching. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find coaches? Not every parent can or will coach. Our town is filled with mothers and fathers who continue to volunteer their time for teams long past their children's involvement because 1. they enjoy it and are good at it and 2. the volunteer coaches are needed. If they didn't do it, the teams might fold. So true Peabay! We are so fortunate to have wonderful men and women continue to volunteer when their kids have moved on. My niece played varsity soccer at her high school for 4 yrs. and graduated last year. My brother was the asst. coach. He was not a teacher, but they needed an asst. and having played soccer himself, it was a perfect fit. He still continues to help coach the team. He helped lead them to the game before the state championship last year. My parents and my sil continue to go to the games and support the team. Not creepy at all! Also not creepy for us to attend the local pro team games even though we don't have a friend/relative on the team.
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Post by lucyg on Feb 16, 2016 20:49:26 GMT
So just after my last post I wondered if you or someone you loved had found yourselves in this position. I'm so sorry that happened to your husband. I certainly hope that name-calling made you feel better. OR you could admit your original comment and the subsequent one about paid vs. unpaid coaches were mildly inappropriate, apologize to the OP, and move on. Instead of insisting on last-wording tduby1.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Feb 16, 2016 21:05:36 GMT
He appears to be one that doesn't like change and has lost sight of what really matters.
Yes, it was a source of major commitment and enjoyment for your family. The key word being, family. He obviously really enjoys it which is great and maybe hard for him to let and move onto the next season but at what cost? The family is no longer part of this....he is. So yes he is choosing it and with the knowledge that it was hurtful to you. Your girls are adults so I don't know what there feelings are on it but why isn't he weighing those? I didn't read any post past your OP so perhaps you have answered that.
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Post by lurkingsince2001 on Feb 16, 2016 21:27:01 GMT
In this day and age, after Sandusky, and the Priest revelations, the scout leaders, and teachers and others in a position of trust that seem to regularly make the news for inappropriate to flat out criminal behavior with kids I think some of us are being naive. Yes, the vast majority of people who give of their time and knowledge have their hearts in the right places. But there are those who don't and peas shouldn't be shamed for keeping an eye out for them. Blindly accepting that "Coach couldn't have done it. He's a good guy." or "but he's done so much for the team/town/school..." or "But he's got a kid on the team or is so and sos dad, he'd never do that..." is how true pedophiles can act unhindered for so long. It's how victims are poo-pooed into the shadows and made afraid to rock the boat. And to insinuate that those who express such concerns must be pedophiles and attributing their own thoughts to others? Well, ladies, I have no words for how offensive that is. Are the peas about resorting to blind insults and gross accusations or veiled innuendo because we don't like what the other is saying?
Only the OP knows her DH. She knows him to be a good man, father, and coach. She has no reason to suspect anything other than a gross lack of consideration on his part. She wouldn't be the first wife completely in the dark. But I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. There are enough problems here with his actions as it is.
But my thoughts can't help but move along to other pitfalls in the situation. Do other parents travel regularly to the games? Will he socialize with them outside the game? I'm not saying that he would stray, but that sometimes things get misconstrued between people, some women see married men as a challenge, some people are just naturally flirtatious, and false accusations happen more than we want to admit. There's a reason most doctors, teachers, professors, etc that I know have policies against being alone with someone and the door closed or what have you. It's called CYA and prudent for any responsible adult. Is it paranoia? Or is it being realistic? What you find overacting might be perfectly reasonable to those peas who have been taken advantage of or had their careers nearly ruined by entitled vindictive twits who lashed out when they heard the word "No". As one pea pointed out, we are all talking based on our own experiences here. As Polz basically pointed out from her post, bad things happen to good people and marriages everyday, often hitting you on the blindside. You can recover from it, but that doesn't mean you forget such things are possible.
I think the OP is handling this to the best of her ability and it's my hope he evaluates the situation and there's a positive outcome. I doubt there's anything nefarious going on. Accusing him of inappropriateness may well be going too far but (and this is IMO only so feel free to disagree and block me) it's also dangerous to be ignorant of reality and potential pitfalls and not exercise due caution and diligence in covering your butt. Mocking and deriding those who see the world in darker shades than you says more about you than it does them. Be grateful that your life or disposition lets you believe what you do.
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Post by Drew on Feb 16, 2016 21:34:40 GMT
OP, I see that you're a new poster and I'm truly sorry one of your first threads has gone this far sideways. You must feel sick. Try to take it in stride.
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Post by christine58 on Feb 16, 2016 21:37:35 GMT
In this day and age, after Sandusky, and the Priest revelations, the scout leaders, and teachers and others in a position of trust that seem to regularly make the news for inappropriate to flat out criminal behavior with kids I think some of us are being naive. Yes, the vast majority of people who give of their time and knowledge have their hearts in the right places. But there are those who don't and peas shouldn't be shamed for keeping an eye out for them. Blindly accepting that "Coach couldn't have done it. He's a good guy." or "but he's done so much for the team/town/school..." or "But he's got a kid on the team or is so and sos dad, he'd never do that..." is how true pedophiles can act unhindered for so long. It's how victims are poo-pooed into the shadows and made afraid to rock the boat. And to insinuate that those who express such concerns must be pedophiles and attributing their own thoughts to others? Well, ladies, I have no words for how offensive that is. Are the peas about resorting to blind insults and gross accusations or veiled innuendo because we don't like what the other is saying? Only the OP knows her DH. She knows him to be a good man, father, and coach. She has no reason to suspect anything other than a gross lack of consideration on his part. She wouldn't be the first wife completely in the dark. But I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. There are enough problems here with his actions as it is. But my thoughts can't help but move along to other pitfalls in the situation. Do other parents travel regularly to the games? Will he socialize with them outside the game? I'm not saying that he would stray, but that sometimes things get misconstrued between people, some women see married men as a challenge, some people are just naturally flirtatious, and false accusations happen more than we want to admit. There's a reason most doctors, teachers, professors, etc that I know have policies against being alone with someone and the door closed or what have you. It's called CYA and prudent for any responsible adult. Is it paranoia? Or is it being realistic? What you find overacting might be perfectly reasonable to those peas who have been taken advantage of or had their careers nearly ruined by entitled vindictive twits who lashed out when they heard the word "No". As one pea pointed out, we are all talking based on our own experiences here. As Polz basically pointed out from her post, bad things happen to good people and marriages everyday, often hitting you on the blindside. You can recover from it, but that doesn't mean you forget such things are possible. I think the OP is handling this to the best of her ability and it's my hope he evaluates the situation and there's a positive outcome. I doubt there's anything nefarious going on. Accusing him of inappropriateness may well be going too far but (and this is IMO only so feel free to disagree and block me) it's also dangerous to be ignorant of reality and potential pitfalls and not exercise due caution and diligence in covering your butt. Mocking and deriding those who see the world in darker shades than you says more about you than it does them. Be grateful that your life or disposition lets you believe what you do. Oh dear god. This thread has me shaking my head. To the OP---don't let some of these idiotic responses get in your head.
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Jul 2, 2014 22:14:02 GMT
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Post by trollie on Feb 16, 2016 21:41:29 GMT
Yes it would bother me. HUGE time commitment.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Feb 16, 2016 21:53:30 GMT
I'm coming to this party late, I've been out of town for 6 days, but if I felt his continuing with the coaching when our kids were no longer involved was not to my liking, I'd object. And be irked if he didn't agree that we deserved some time without softball being involved.
If he's a great coach and coaches his team to major wins I can see how it enriches his life. Doing great at things gives us a sense of pride and accomplishment. Maybe he would be willing to take a year off while you do other things and see if he live without it.
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Post by Meri-Lyn on Feb 16, 2016 21:57:19 GMT
In this day and age, after Sandusky, and the Priest revelations, the scout leaders, and teachers and others in a position of trust that seem to regularly make the news for inappropriate to flat out criminal behavior with kids I think some of us are being naive. Sandusky - molested young boys Priests - mostly molested young boys Scout Leaders - mostly boys. So based on your reasoning, no man should teach, coach, or lead ANY child, boy or girl. SMFH!!!!
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Post by lurkingsince2001 on Feb 16, 2016 22:10:08 GMT
In this day and age, after Sandusky, and the Priest revelations, the scout leaders, and teachers and others in a position of trust that seem to regularly make the news for inappropriate to flat out criminal behavior with kids I think some of us are being naive. Sandusky - molested young boys Priests - mostly molested young boys Scout Leaders - mostly boys. So based on your reasoning, no man should teach, coach, or lead ANY child, boy or girl. SMFH!!!! You are quoting christine58 when you meant to quote me I think. I'm certain she would take that as a slight as she thinks my response was idiotic. I think she missed my point so I'll try again: 1) OP's DH is an inconsiderate man but likely not up to anything sinister. 2) Bad things could happen anyway so he should be cautious. 3) Not everyone who appears good is good and those who don't buy into it aren't wrong or molesters themselves. 4) IF pointing out your (general you) disagreement with others can only be done by name calling and offensive accusations or condescending head shakes then this board is not what it once was. As for your point, I did not say that no man should ever teach/coach anyone anything. That reasoning, as pointed out earlier in the thread, is naive and disregards all the FEMALES in authority I've seen in the news lately. I'm pointing out that these things do, in fact happen. It is a reality that exists and to imply it doesn't, like some peas seemed to, only creates an environment that lets true predators do their deeds.
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