|
Post by Woobster on Jun 14, 2016 15:01:27 GMT
While it was definitely something that was different, I grew up in a pretty non-religious family and don't ever remember it being addressed as something that was a "sin" or "bad." That said... I don't remember my family ever discussing it much, TBH.
I grew up in a very Mormon area though, and the majority of the people I associated with absolutely considered it as such.
|
|
|
Post by giatocj on Jun 14, 2016 15:07:39 GMT
My uncle and a cousin are (were) both gay, so it is something I grew up with...and I'm not young (a child of the 60s/70s). It was never really talked about one way or the other, it just "was". That's who they were, we loved them and were comfortable with their lifestyle and their partners.
My cousin died many years ago from AIDS, but my uncle is still around, in his late 70's and in a very long term relationship with a wonderful, loving partner.
|
|
|
Post by refugeepea on Jun 14, 2016 15:11:48 GMT
I was raised believing it was not normal. God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. I was told it was a choice. Several years later, in the same church, it is now taught that it isn't a choice but it's a sin, that shouldn't be acted upon. As long as you remain celibate for the rest of your life, you remain in good standing with the church.
As you can expect, many closeted homosexuals married straight, had kids, and eventually divorced. Now these kids (some of which are still being raised LDS) are not allowed to get baptized until the age of 18. Once they turn that age, they have to disavow their parents gay lifestyle and never live with them again. To make things even more confusing, it has now been left up to local bishops to decide if the child can or cannot be baptized before 18. Someone with no ecclesiastical training, gets to decide.
My parents taught us it was a sin, but so were many other things. We were told to treat all people with respect because not everyone has the same beliefs as we do. I think it helped both of my parents weren't raised in strict LDS homes. I have very few LDS cousins and my dad was raised in a family of 16 kids.
|
|
|
Post by compwalla on Jun 14, 2016 15:11:53 GMT
My parents never said much about it but I knew from a young age that one of my dad's cousins was gay and had a long-time partner. My parents never made a big deal about it one way or the other so I guess that means they raised me to think gay couples were just fine. I was raised in a wholly secular household so "sin" wasn't a concept for me in terms of religion. I never thought that gay was morally wrong in any way and I still don't. I've been an ally my entire life.
|
|
|
Post by Meri-Lyn on Jun 14, 2016 15:12:07 GMT
No. I was raised believing that they were sinful and someone I should not associate with. I do not feel that way as an adult. I was raised with a devout grandmother and we were taught as young children that gays were evil and sinful and every other disgusting thing you hear from today's extremest. This was back in the 70's. Once I grew up, in high school and college, all those teachings were "de-programmed" for lack of a better word, and I feel the completely opposite now, of course. ETA: Someone reminded me, and I think this was the turning point for me was the AIDS epidemic, which was mid to late 80's. At first it was the "homo's disease" and "look what you get when you sin like this, they deserved it." But then Ryan White came around, who was a hemophiliac, I believe? And then there were three siblings in rural Florida who were also hemophiliacs, but were kicked out school, had their home burned down, and whatever else. Just hateful, hateful things, born from nothing but ignorance. I thought, "wait a minute, these are children? How can they have sinned?" And it just took off from there.
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Jun 14, 2016 15:17:22 GMT
I was raised to believe it was unnatural and sinful. To be fair, I was raised with massive amounts of prejudice and judgment - not just on this topic. But I think that's where my compassion was born because none of it made any sense inside my head and my heart. I have raised my child with the exact opposite messages and beliefs.
ETA - I generally feel very down when I read about other people's families. I am so very jealous of those of you who were raised in households of acceptance - who were actually taught that way. I imagine that to be the best feeling ever. I hope you know what an amazing blessing that is.
|
|
|
Post by anonrefugee on Jun 14, 2016 15:25:11 GMT
Funny question. Because I've known a gay couple my whole life it didn't come up a lot. It was more like it was something that happened, but was not common.
Words like normal, and right or wrong, weren't part of a description. It just was.
Side trip: When I was a child,1960-70s it was explained more as a choice, or relationship that developed from a friendship. Obviously that view began to change later.
|
|
|
Post by jassy on Jun 14, 2016 15:26:39 GMT
I'm 44 years old. I was raised Catholic. My parents divorced in 1974 when I was 2 years old, and my mother rented a small house for us from her childhood friend, who was gay and his partner. They lived in the house behind ours. I grew up loving them - it was always obvious they were a couple, and it was just accepted. They were the NICEST guys with the coolest home - they had a koi pond and I loved spending time with them in their backyard watching the fish. They were the best "uncles" in the world, and were so awesome to my mom who was a bit ostracized for divorcing our father. Ken and Ray - two of the best dudes ever!
|
|
|
Post by ~Sherri~ on Jun 14, 2016 15:26:55 GMT
I was raised in a tiny town in southern Ohio back in the 70's. My parents were very loving and accepting people who did not judge on race or religion or sexual preferences. And as a result, neither does my sister or me.
Three of my cousins were homosexual, all brothers. They were the sweetest and kindest guys who would do anything for anyone. I remember my oldest cousin's SO,Steve, and never really thought anything was odd about their relationship. I just knew that Daryl had the neatest house with amazing old antiques. The only reference to homosexuality was when my aunt once said that she worried about Daryl and his brother's getting the "gay" disease. This was back in the early 70's so I am not sure if it was called AIDS then or not. I don't ever remember them being treated different by anyone. They were my Dad's nephews and he and my Mom loved them dearly.
I am sad to say that two of them did pass away from AIDS several years ago. I have lost touch with most of my Dad's family and I am not sure if the youngest brother is still living or not.
|
|
|
Post by miominmio on Jun 14, 2016 15:29:46 GMT
I wasn't raised to believe one thing or another. Gays just didn't exist. (I know they did, but it wasn't something that was discussed. At all.)
|
|
|
Post by anonrefugee on Jun 14, 2016 15:34:23 GMT
I wasn't raised to believe one thing or another. Gays just didn't exist. (I know they did, but it wasn't something that was discussed. At all.) I think the same thing about abortion. Not that it's related...but in some ways my parents generation (born in 1930s) was more willing to let people make their choices, live and let live.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:25:23 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 15:35:08 GMT
My mother could not talk about sex in any way or form. So this topic never came up. I don't think she even realized that my father was probably bi-sexual.
|
|
IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
|
Post by IAmUnoriginal on Jun 14, 2016 15:42:15 GMT
I grew up in a very small town in western Minnesota (1973 - 1992). Diversity didn't really exist beyond the Upper Sioux Reservation just a few miles away. Homosexuality wasn't discussed. There were no openly gay couples in our area. The one man that I'm pretty sure was gay went away to the Twin Cities for long weekends frequently.
I went to a HS that was 5 communities and their surrounding family farms combined to get to the whopping 70 kids in my graduating class. The uncle of one of the boys a year younger than me came home from California to die. The small town boy had made it big as a photographer, had it all, was a try-sexual (he'd try anything), heroin addict and he lost it all. His partner had recently died of AIDS and he came home to his mom. But, he didn't get sick right away and he lived. So, he decided to do something good with this remaining days instead of sitting in his mother's home waiting to die. Good thing, since he lived another 6 years. He decided to start doing talks to HS kids about AIDS and safe sex. My junior year health class was the first class he ever spoke to and the County Health Nurse he brought with him to help was a close family friend. I talked to her after class, met him, and we became close friends. After meeting and befriending him, I saw how absolutely ugly and closed-minded the people in my community were to homosexuality, race and just anything that isn't a cookie cutter lifestyle. It was pretty horrible.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:25:23 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 15:43:10 GMT
I don't recall it ever being a topic of conversation with my parents, I grew up in the very unPC 70s where British sitcoms used homosexuality as a joke. I do remember my Grandmother referring to someone who lived near her as being 'a shirt lifter' I had no idea what she meant til one of my brothers explained it to me. What a horrible way to label someone.
Growing up without religion I had no concept of sin in regards to how other people lived their lives.
|
|
|
Post by BeckyTech on Jun 14, 2016 15:44:31 GMT
I don't remember it ever coming up and as we grew up, it still was not an issue. We grew up with "people are people" and I don't remember ever having anyone "labeled." Me too. Except there was the added component of church. I was taught from the youngest of ages that God loves everyone. I think my mom differed from the church teaching that you had to be "saved" to go to heaven. She taught me that it didn't matter what religion or faith a person had, as long as they had a good heart.
|
|
|
Post by smalltowngirlie on Jun 14, 2016 15:53:30 GMT
Born in '68 in small town Minnesota, raised Catholic. Homosexuality was not discussed in our house, neither was heterosexuality really. Like many it did not factor into my life until AIDS was all over the news and then it was not portrayed in a very positive way. I have relatives that I thought/think are gay, but have not seen them go public, they might have I just haven't seen it to be sure and I have relatives that are open about it.
I will admit had I known in high school they were gay I may have looked at them differently, I would not have shunned them in anyway, just not understand it completely. Small town girl naivete and all.
Today I don't care. Really I don't. I take a few hits once in a while because I don't agree with what some in our church believe. Oh well, if I am wrong I will be the one answering to God about it, not them. I think I will just focus on loving others.
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on Jun 14, 2016 16:04:04 GMT
My parents taught us that people are people. There was no room for hatred. They loathed bigots. Sin in my family would be hating someone for something that is natural.
|
|
gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,092
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
|
Post by gsquaredmom on Jun 14, 2016 16:07:06 GMT
I was raised in a house that believed homosexuality is a sin. I was also told that if I dated a Black boy I would be thrown out.
I questioned it when growing up and I don't share their beliefs. They were older. None of my siblings think that way either, as far as I know.
|
|
|
Post by scrapcat on Jun 14, 2016 16:10:25 GMT
Love reading everyone's experiences. It kinda gives me hope, which I do believe, the majority of people are just good, honest, hard working, trying to do their best.
I am also in the non-issue camp, I don't think I really knew what it was until I was in high school? And I am 33. My (former) Catholic religion taught me one thing about it, but my parents didn't force too many ideas of sin onto us. My parents were more old school, so I think back then they probably saw it as something that was an "alternative" lifestyle. But I have a few gay relatives and it's never been an issue.
I have to say I really respect my Dad for becoming more liberal in his thoughts through listening to me as I was growing up. He still has his old school streak every now and then. But at heart, they always just taught me to treat others as I would want to be treated. They've always been respectful, charitable people, and really their example taught me more than any words they ever said.
After reading some of these, just makes me grateful to come from a place where I was allowed to think how I wanted, which is so empowering for a young woman trying to make her way.
|
|
grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,741
Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
|
Post by grammanisi on Jun 14, 2016 16:14:58 GMT
We were raised completely without prejudice. My mom was the greatest lover of ALL people that I have ever known. And she instilled that in my sisters and I. Now I have to say that I have always been that way, too, but both of my sisters have gone through phases as adults of not liking certain people/religions, etc.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:25:23 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 16:19:29 GMT
I was raised that it was a sin. Probably an unforgivable one AND allowing homosexuality to be acceptable would be the ruination of the entire nation. By not trying to stop it God would judge everyone as if they were involved and cause the whole nation to be destroyed like Sodom and Gomorrah were.
|
|
|
Post by knit.pea on Jun 14, 2016 16:19:49 GMT
I was raised Catholic, and although I don't recall any specific discussion I would guess my parents were not accepting. Maybe my Mom would have been more ok with it than my Dad. They were born in the 1920s. But I definitely heard whisperings of this Quote: "I remember him making fun of anyone he considered "light in the loafers", but he never went on about it being a sin. And I don't mean he was calling people out on the street, just making cracks about it in private." And, growing up in the 1970s, I (very regrettably) used a lot of non-PC words to describe people in conversations with my friends In describing how I now feel, people are people. Religion, gender, etc. do not matter to me. And in saying that, I want to differentiate between me and people who say "love the sinner, not the sin". That is NOT my belief AT ALL.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:25:23 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 16:19:55 GMT
Were you raised to believe that gay and lesbian couples are normal or were you raised to believe that they are doing something wrong/sinful?
I grew up with one parent whose religion condemned homosexuality as unnatural and a sin. The other (non-religious) parent was homophobic (and also extremely judgmental and bigoted about other things as well). And do you still believe as you were raised?I never believed as I was raised, so no. I have made a conscious effort to raise my kids differently than I was. ETA - I generally feel very down when I read about other people's families. I am so very jealous of those of you who were raised in households of acceptance - who were actually taught that way. I imagine that to be the best feeling ever. I hope you know what an amazing blessing that is. ITA. My most desperate wish as a child and even as a young adult was to be from a "normal" family.
|
|
|
Post by bc2ca on Jun 14, 2016 16:20:22 GMT
I'm surprised no one has mentioned Anita Bryant and her Save Our Children campaign. I was a teen in BC and very aware of her national campaign in the US, so gay rights was definitely discussed and in the news in the late 70s. This was before the AIDS crisis which didn't really hit the media until 1981 when unusual clusters of pneumonia among otherwise healthy men was identified as GRID (gay related immune difficiency).
My parents had a live and let live attitude and didn't bat an eye as different friends, friend's siblings and/or neighbors's kids came out over the years. One of our neighbors, who briefly dated my sister, transitioned to a female 15 or so years ago. I can't honestly think of anyone from my parents' generation that we knew was LGBT, although in hindsight, realize one of my high school teachers probably was gay.
|
|
|
Post by smalltowngirlie on Jun 14, 2016 16:24:00 GMT
I was raised that it was a sin. Probably an unforgivable one AND allowing homosexuality to be acceptable would be the ruination of the entire nation. By not trying to stop it God would judge everyone as if they were involved and cause the whole nation to be destroyed like Sodom and Gomorrah were. I hear these thoughts more now then I ever did as a child.
|
|
|
Post by *KAS* on Jun 14, 2016 16:25:27 GMT
I wasn't raised / taught anything about gay people. It simply was never discussed as far as I can remember.
I think my first experience with realizing somebody was gay was in high school. Even though HE didn't say he was, I just knew. Everybody knew. (He's out and very proud now, and still a good friend of mine 20+ years later!)
I still can't recall my parents speaking positively or negatively about gay people to this day. So I guess I wasn't swayed one way or another. I would assume my dad has an opinion that wouldn't be positive, just knowing who he is, but not strong enough that he pushed those thoughts down to me, which I appreciate.
They were from small town Iowa, where we basically just had white people, so I wasn't exposed to a lot, and probably not a lot of people came out back then so my parents may not have had a lot of exposure to it themselves. Not sure.
My cousin is in her 20s and gay and married. Her mom (my aunt) has definitely struggled with it from a religious standpoint, but has tried very hard to accept her partner. In some ways, I can see that my cousin is more of a drama queen and playing a martyr role that she needs to. (Like, for example, she takes my Aunt not calling her all the time as my aunt not accepting her and her partner. When in reality my aunt says "she's 25 and a married woman. I wouldn't call my son every day if he were 25 and married either. I'm trying to let her be an adult." Regarding that, I remember my mom saying that she didn't really like it, but she loves her niece. So I guess that's her opinion.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Jun 14, 2016 16:43:13 GMT
I grew up Catholic in the northeast my parents/family never mentioned it at all.
The priests mentioned it/preached about it and it was my first conundrum with Catholic teachings, even before my issues with women's rights. Even before the child molestation issues. We had gay priests and I couldn't understand how they could get thru a sermon with a straight face. In fact, where I grew up the priests were the only people I knew that were gay. ( at least as far as I could tell ) I was probably 10 ish years old and I just kept thinking but.... If they can ignore that what else doesn't matter.
It's probably a big part of me questioning and eventually leaving Catholicism.
ETA I grew up in the 70's in what was then rural NY I'm sure it's suburban now
|
|
|
Post by lbp on Jun 14, 2016 16:52:45 GMT
For those of us who are saying it didn't come up in our childhoods, how old are you? I wonder if a part of the reason it was not something we talked about is because of the times we grew up in. I am almost 50-grew up in the 70's and early 80's and gayness just didn't really come up all that often. Every once in a while you might hear something about a 'funny uncle' but that pretty covered everything from gay, pedophilia, drank too much, mental illness, too many cats... This is right for me too. If it did come up (a friends son liked to dress like a girl) we were told it was crazy and sinful. But, normally, nothing was said about anyone being gay and it never really crossed my radar until I started working and had two gay co-workers. I am 55.
|
|
|
Post by mommaho on Jun 14, 2016 16:58:10 GMT
I am 58 and was raised Methodist with a youth pastor who was gay. We all knew, but accepted him (well most of the group). We didn't talk about it at home, or church or school. I was taught to accept people for who they are, not 'what' they are.
|
|
schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
Jun 28, 2014 0:26:58 GMT
|
Post by schizo319 on Jun 14, 2016 17:24:30 GMT
For those of us who are saying it didn't come up in our childhoods, how old are you? I'm 38.
|
|