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Post by papersilly on Jun 14, 2016 22:45:01 GMT
come to think of it, I don't think the subject ever really came up. there were just times when we had two "uncles" or two "aunts" and that was that.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,684
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Jun 14, 2016 23:05:03 GMT
I don't recall having a direct discussion about this when I was a kid but my parents converted to (what I consider) a strict religious church when I was 12-ish so I'm pretty sure they felt it was/is a sin. They also think pre-marital sex is a sin (nevermind that my mom was pregnant prior to marriage : . Several years ago my great-uncle brought his "friend" (per my mom) to Christmas, I could tell by her expression when she told me that she didn't approve. (this uncle was a priest, then became a masseuse and lived with a man......I doubt they were just friends ).FWIW I'm dangerously close to 40, so basically raised in the 80s.
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Post by quinlove on Jun 14, 2016 23:32:03 GMT
Went to Catholic schools for 12 years and never was sex of any kind discussed at school or home. Really !!!! We were like Leave It To Beaver. Minus the nice two story house and the money. Ha
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Post by CarolT on Jun 15, 2016 1:10:04 GMT
I've posted before about my wonderful, loving, accepting grandmother who was born in 1901, and lived her entire life in the rural Deep South.
I remember her talking with my dad about one of her friend's and her son (who grew up with my dad) when we were visiting her one time. The conversation went something like this: Grandmother: "you know, Helen was so disappointed to find out that Henry prefers the company of men to women - she was hoping for grandchildren."
My Dad: "Well, maybe someday they will be able to adopt"
Grandmother: "wouldn't that be something. Helen would be so pleased"
This was in the mid 70's, so no, I wasn't raised to believe homosexuality was wrong.
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Post by txdancermom on Jun 15, 2016 1:20:08 GMT
I was not aware there was such a thing as a same sex couple, until I moved to Texas and I was in my 20's. I am sure that before that time I may have met people who were gay, and in a committed relationship, but I never knew it - but in the 60's - 70's that sort of thing was not discussed, and I lived in a very sheltered suburban life.
At a company I worked for in the late 80's I met a number of gay men and women, most of whom were in committed relationships. They always struck me as being in better relationships than many married heterosexual couples I know.
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Post by queenbeeof3 on Jun 15, 2016 2:01:55 GMT
I grew up in the 70's. Homosexuality was never discussed in my family. I had several friends in high school who were gay. I also had a teacher who my friends and I considered to be gay. A close family friend was out as transgender in the 1970's. So pretty much not a big deal.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,255
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jun 15, 2016 4:24:25 GMT
I'm 59, and grew up in the Midwest. I don't remember a whole lot being said about gays when I was really young. But I grew up knowing a kid my age who was always different from the other boys, even though I don't think I had the words or knowledge to know what that meant; he was just Steve and he was who he was. I think because I'd always known him, and he'd never been the stereotypical boy, it made perfect sense to me, when I understood what "gay" meant, that it was obviously NOT a choice, but the way you were born.
As I got older the topic began to be in the news, and it was talked about some at home. Steve and his best friend in high school were sometimes treated negatively by other kids, but to me, he was just the Steve I'd always known. My dad might have wrinkled up his nose (literally) because he didn't know what to say, but I don't remember my mom being negative. We didn't really talk about things being a "sin" so I didn't care about that.
I had teachers who I suspected were gay. One of my high school friends came out long after we graduated and she has been in a long-term relationship with a woman. I have gay friends/co-workers. Some are more open than others. My mom told me she suspected that her aunt was gay but she never knew for sure.
I've always believed that being gay is not something you choose. It never made sense to me that it would be a sin. I totally don't understand why other people should care if someone else is gay or not; we are all people and we all want to be loved and to love someone.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,955
Location: North Idaho
Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
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Post by Nink on Jun 15, 2016 4:26:36 GMT
I'm early 50's and it was really never discussed. I've just grown to pretty much accept everybody. And my life is richer for it.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jun 15, 2016 6:46:03 GMT
It wasn't a topic that came up for discussion when I was growing up. Although my dad tells the story of when I was about 10yo I came home and asked what a "lezzo" was. Apparently someone had referred to my best friend and I as lezzos.
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Post by gar on Jun 15, 2016 7:11:57 GMT
It wasn't a topic that came up for discussion when I was growing up. Although my dad tells the story of when I was about 10yo I came home and asked what a "lezzo" was. Apparently someone had referred to my best friend and I as lezzos. That reminded me that when when I was about 11 or 12 we would sometimes call people 'lezzie' ......and I distinctly remember having no idea what that word actually was or meant.
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Post by jameynz on Jun 15, 2016 7:26:57 GMT
I was raised in a strict Christian home - so was my husband.
We were both told sex before marriage was wrong, living with someone without being married was unacceptable, as was divorce. Same sex (gay/lesbian) was very, very wrong - not normal, very sinful.
DH is accepting of sex before marriage - quite 'acceptable', living together etc but not gay. (He always told me that if any of our children were gay, he would disown them) before we had children.
Now, I am accepting of it all - there are more important things in life to be concerned about - there are worse things that a person can be - a mass murderer, an axe killer, a pedophile etc....
I have always tried to tell our kids that while it was not something I would want for them, if they were gay - it would not be the end of the world, they would still be my child, and I would love them no matter what. My DD has just told us that she prefers girls...
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Jun 15, 2016 8:01:33 GMT
I only read to page 2. I'm British, mid-40s. I was brought up singing in the church choir by medical parents. I don't remember it being discussed while we were growing up. There may have been gentle "they can't help it, don't tease" comments, and my parents were very much live and let live. The question of wrong and right didn't even come up. And with medical parents, you quickly learn that there is no such thing as "normal". We had a hugely popular TV comedy series in the 70s called Are you Being Served, which featured Mr Humphries who was ultra camp. There were also the Carry On films that had camp characters. That was all we knew in those days, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to work out that they were caricatures of gay people. (I was also in my teens and watching AYBS repeats before I realised that Mrs Slocombe's quips about her cat could be taken any other way too. ) Save
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
RefuPea #1406
Posts: 2,648
Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Jun 15, 2016 8:50:25 GMT
I was raised in a strict Christian home - so was my husband. We were both told sex before marriage was wrong, living with someone without being married was unacceptable, as was divorce. Same sex (gay/lesbian) was very, very wrong - not normal, very sinful. DH is accepting of sex before marriage - quite 'acceptable', living together etc but not gay. (He always told me that if any of our children were gay, he would disown them) before we had children. Now, I am accepting of it all - there are more important things in life to be concerned about - there are worse things that a person can be - a mass murderer, an axe killer, a pedophile etc.... I have always tried to tell our kids that while it was not something I would want for them, if they were gay - it would not be the end of the world, they would still be my child, and I would love them no matter what. My DD has just told us that she prefers girls... First, I want to send you ((((Hugs)))) because it sounds as if you are reeling right now. It is not easy to shed what we have had drilled into our brains from an impressionable age and those years beyond. I understand, truly I do. If you want to know a bit of my upbringing I shared it a page or two previous. I'm only mentioning this out of concern because I don't believe you can see this yet. And, your situation is pushing you faster than you are ready. Saying there are worse things that a person can be and listing murderer and pedophile is not accepting. Murdering someone or being a pedophile are choices. And, completely horrible and repulsive. People are born gay. Not long ago, they think they discovered the gene for homosexuality. I haven't read anymore up on it. It isn't a choice. Gay people have loving, caring, devoted relationships just as heterosexuals do. It is terribly hurtful to express a justification in terms of it could be worse. It's also not a lifestyle. Being minimalist is a lifestyle. Being vegetarian is a lifestyle. I'm happy to hear your daughter felt comfortable enough to come out to you. You are certainly doing something right. You are her rock. She will take cues from you. You are managing the best you can, where you are. For your daughter's sake, you do not want her to hear you compare the fact that she is gay, something she can't change, being compared to murderers and pedophiles. There is another thread that was started yesterday where the OP was asking for advice because her child had just come out to them. Thought you may find it helpful.
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Post by gar on Jun 15, 2016 9:51:55 GMT
I was raised in a strict Christian home - so was my husband. We were both told sex before marriage was wrong, living with someone without being married was unacceptable, as was divorce. Same sex (gay/lesbian) was very, very wrong - not normal, very sinful. DH is accepting of sex before marriage - quite 'acceptable', living together etc but not gay. (He always told me that if any of our children were gay, he would disown them) before we had children. Now, I am accepting of it all - there are more important things in life to be concerned about - there are worse things that a person can be - a mass murderer, an axe killer, a pedophile etc.... I have always tried to tell our kids that while it was not something I would want for them, if they were gay - it would not be the end of the world, they would still be my child, and I would love them no matter what. My DD has just told us that she prefers girls... First, I want to send you ((((Hugs)))) because it sounds as if you are reeling right now. It is not easy to shed what we have had drilled into our brains from an impressionable age and those years beyond. I understand, truly I do. If you want to know a bit of my upbringing I shared it a page or two previous. I'm only mentioning this out of concern because I don't believe you can see this yet. And, your situation is pushing you faster than you are ready. Saying there are worse things that a person can be and listing murderer and pedophile is not accepting. Murdering someone or being a pedophile are choices. And, completely horrible and repulsive. People are born gay. Not long ago, they think they discovered the gene for homosexuality. I haven't read anymore up on it. It isn't a choice. Gay people have loving, caring, devoted relationships just as heterosexuals do. It is terribly hurtful to express a justification in terms of it could be worse. It's also not a lifestyle. Being minimalist is a lifestyle. Being vegetarian is a lifestyle. I'm happy to hear your daughter felt comfortable enough to come out to you. You are certainly doing something right. You are her rock. She will take cues from you. You are managing the best you can, where you are. For your daughter's sake, you do not want her to hear you compare the fact that she is gay, something she can't change, being compared to murderers and pedophiles. There is another thread that was started yesterday where the OP was asking for advice because her child had just come out to them. Thought you may find it helpful. Well said, and kindly said too. I'm glad I read your post before responding myself
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jun 15, 2016 11:17:31 GMT
The older I get, the more grateful I become that I was born and raised in an urban area and grew up seeing and knowing how diverse the human family is. It has made my life so much richer and frankly, easier because I haven't had to go through hoops to readjust my world view to fit reality. It just is what it is. Just as people are what they are.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jun 15, 2016 11:35:12 GMT
Grew up with parents who had a lot of out gay friends, so definitely raised to think it was fine.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jun 15, 2016 12:28:26 GMT
I was raised to believe it was okay to be hetero or homosexual.
I do remember one conversation about inter-racial and homosexual relationships in terms of making sure that you did not casually engage in either. We lived I a small, close-minded town. The conversation was basically....do not open yourself up to the hatred and ridicule you will both endure for a fun teen angst experiment. If you choose to do either, make sure it is someone you truly care for and see going somewhere. No need for the pain if not.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:24:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2016 12:34:55 GMT
My parents were very liberal but still coloured by the times. So, neither? I think my parents were comfortable not having an opinion until my aunt and then my brother came out. A year after that they were marching with PFLAG in the pride parade. My kids were raised to not see a difference. This was my family, except it was my brother coming out in college that spurred my mom's activism.
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Post by peasapie on Jun 15, 2016 13:09:08 GMT
ETA - I generally feel very down when I read about other people's families. I am so very jealous of those of you who were raised in households of acceptance - who were actually taught that way. I imagine that to be the best feeling ever. I hope you know what an amazing blessing that is. ITA. My most desperate wish as a child and even as a young adult was to be from a "normal" family. I felt the same way. And I was determined to raise my children differently.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,741
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Jun 15, 2016 13:25:02 GMT
Went to Catholic schools for 12 years and never was sex of any kind discussed at school or home. Really !!!! We were like Leave It To Beaver. Minus the nice two story house and the money. Ha Exactly that.
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Post by pierkiss on Jun 15, 2016 13:39:09 GMT
My parents never commented either way. But whatever their stance, I decided for myself that it was fine and normal.
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Post by Tamhugh on Jun 15, 2016 13:46:32 GMT
I am 50. My dad was horribly prejudiced, but never against gay people. When we were children, my parents were friends with a gay couple and while it was never discussed, it was just treated as normal, I guess. When I went to college, I met a lot more people who were gay. Because I don't remember a time in my life where I didn't know anyone who was gay, it was never anything odd to me.
When my boys were little, another close family friend came out to us. She asked if it would make it uncomfortable for us to have her around family events. Ha! To this day, my kids say that she and her wife are their favorite family members.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Jun 15, 2016 13:48:46 GMT
I grew up in a small farming community where people definitely frowned upon it...also frowned upon anyone that was anything other than Caucasian. When I went away to college, I met ALL kinds of people and it really opened my eyes to how closed minded it was where I grew up.
Now? I have a really close friend that is bi and was/is an activist in the bi community. She was president of BiNet USA for a time and still advocates. I've learned so much from her! And I'm so thankful that my kids have grown up in a house that is accepting, no matter what people's sexual preference is.
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Post by tlsmi on Jun 15, 2016 13:58:22 GMT
I was raised in the South and forced to go to Baptist church and a Baptist school 7-12 th grade.
Being gay was an absolute 'abomination'.
Currently, at 52 yrs old, haven't stepped foot in a church for a worship service for probably 20+ years,. Live and let live I think. My cousin who I adore, lives in NY with his husband. They have been together longer than my husband and I, over 25 years.
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Post by beachbum on Jun 15, 2016 13:58:57 GMT
I'm 60 and my parents were prejudiced against anything different. Anything. It didn't matter what it was, if it was different from what was 'normal' for them then it was bad. In the late 60s and early 70s that meant pretty much everything in my life! I had friends with long hair, in rock and roll bands, of different races, different religions, gay... So I went my own way, I knew that different wasn't bad (I had learned that when I was very young and my mother's sister had married a black man in the 60s - boy THAT was fun at family functions, but I loved him). My mother is still a bigot, but I don't deal with her often. She knows how I feel, she knows how my brother feels, but she doesn't care.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:24:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2016 14:43:10 GMT
My mother's older brother was gay (he died four years ago at the age of 86) and although it wasn't a topic of open conversation (my parents just weren't the type that would talk openly about it), I don't remember being "taught" homosexuality as a negative thing.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:24:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2016 14:54:26 GMT
Normal. I have 2 aunts, never thought anything about it growing up, and was never told anything. Totally normal, no big deal.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Jun 15, 2016 15:31:56 GMT
I feel encouraged. Everyone (I think) who has said that they grew up with intolerance has made their own decision that that was wrong. There will always be undercurrents of intolerance (towards sexuality, race, culture, religion, ginger hair, tattoos and piercings - you name it) but the sexuality tide is flowing in the right direction. I like that.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:24:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2016 18:24:44 GMT
My family wasn't really religious, so I don't remember ever hearing anything in church about it. I'm pretty sure my parents thought it was NOT normal, but it certainly wasn't something they discussed with me! I was a kid in the early 70's. We grew up saying things like, "You're such a fag" or "That's SO gay." We meant it as a mild insult, but I'm not sure we knew what it really meant, or associated those words with being homosexual, if that makes sense. There are/were not (to my knowledge anyway) any gay people in my immediate family, and my first interaction with openly gay people was in college and by then I wasn't shocked by it. I have always liked or disliked people as individuals, and how they treat me. I don't really care about their sexual orientation.
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