Teen romance - sleepovers

Well, part of that is cities here aren't built for bikers or walkers. We don't have bike lanes. We have areas that don't have sidewalks. You can't get from the neighborhood where houses are to basic places like the school, library, grocery store without crossing major six lane highways. Things are just not built the same way here. It's hard to explain how spread out and sprawling everything is.

I can not even imagine how long it would take my high school son to bike/ walk to his school. It is 18 miles away! And call me a helicopter mom but him "moving out and closer to school on his own" isn't happening, either.

It's true of the vast majority of states, but I grew up in California, and the age of consent is 18 and there is no close in age exception.  It is absolutely something someone living in California or a state with similar laws should consider.  

I think you maybe don't realize how far and spread out some areas are. My kids could walk/ride bikes to elementary school, and did, but in high school it was at least ten miles on the highway, not safe.
As far as the apartment goes, it's nearly impossible nowadays for any high school student to afford their own apartment, and it's very difficult for college students to make rent trying to work a low-wage job. It's just too expensive. If they have roommates it might work, but often dorms are mandatory for freshmen.

In large urban areas you will see a lot more kids taking public transportation and being more independent of their parents in that respect, but the cost of rent in urban areas is insane.

My kids and I have always been very open when discussing sex. I always told my kids when they decided that they were going to have sex to let me know because they had to be using protection. My DD got on birth control at 15 and was told to also use condoms, has been with her HS sweetheart 9 years and he slept over at the house sometimes during the HS years. My son came to me for condoms and I bought them. Even when he was 19 and living at home he once asked me for money to buy condoms and I gave it to him. My son will be 27 next month and my daughter will be 25 in July and neither of them have kids or have ever had an STD. Now granted, I didn't have younger kids in the house at the time but had there have been I don't think it would have changed my mind because kids will have sex when they want and most of the time kids are having sex and the parents don't know. I wanted to make sure that mine were protected and that they weren't going to have kids at too young of an age as I was only 19 when I had my son and I know how hard it was for me. So after all of this my answer is yes, I would let them spend the night.

yeah ... NO!

my daughter is in college and her boyfriend comes home with her occasionally. they don't sleep together. she sleeps downstairs and he sleeps upstairs.

i think it more a matter of respect for the family's values. just because they may be already having sex doesn't mean it has to go on in MY house.

Haven't read all replies but...... hell to the no!

My now DH and I stayed at my parents place when we were dating. He had to sleep on the couch. I was 24 and had been out for 3 years! I still had 3 younger (17, 19, 21) siblings living at home.

The law is different everywhere.

Statutory rape laws are state laws.

The situation described in the OP is not illegal in the vast majority of states.

Thank you. I suspected as much. In those states where statutory rape is still illegal, WWTPD? This is what I find confusing.

The notifications on this board can also be confusing when quotes within quotes come into play.

I strongly suspected that statutory rape laws (horrible, if unavoidable, description of the situation) differed across states. What I wanted to know was WWTPD in the situation where the kids were in fact crossing the legal line in state "X"- should the adult/s concerned make their decision according to respect for house rules, avoidance of sending the "wrong" message to younger children also in the house, taking into account their own youthful hormone driven past or the law?

Disclaimer: I have an untold story involving a loved one and a (repeat offender) underage drunk driver who was protected to the Nth degree and got away without any consequences. I also have a damaged younger relative who was sexually assaulted, possibly straight out raped, by a member of the clergy who apparently made a point of choosing the "almost 18's". My DH and I are also childless by choice and therefore I am more likely to see this teen stuff in black and white terms. I wish you Peace, OP.

A friend is presented with a similiar situation & jokes, "I don't run a brothel!" Since the age of consent here is 16 yo, her hesitation is the short length of time the teens have been dating. She is hesitant to establish the precedent because she "[does] not want to deal with the inevitable line of toads before [her daughter] finds her prince."

I'm not looking forward to these potential future dilemmas with my own teen.

Ok, I didn't get that specifically from your post although perhaps I should have assumed so 😊

Can young people (say early 20s?) afford to get their own place in the US? If they were a year or two older would you answer differently? I only ask because so many young people have to live back with their parents after uni or college these days due to financial situations.

It is very difficult for young people to get their own place here in the U.S. and it is not unusual for those in their 20s to move back in with their parents.

That's part of the reason some of the attitudes on this thread bother me so much.
The peas act like young adults who live with their parents are freeloaders who should be kept on a tight leash and made to feel bad about their situation while the peas lord over them saying things like "my house, my rules" and "if you want to act like an adult, be an adult and get your own place". The economic reality is that's not possible for most people. The economy is different than it was when peas left college. I don't understand treating your kids this way.