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Post by Tamhugh on Feb 21, 2017 19:48:55 GMT
I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. I don't understand the 'let them sneak around' or 'at least I'll make it hard for them' attitude at all. Teens will ahve sex anyway. it has nothing to do with your rules. Sex is part of a healthy relationship and they need to learn to deal with the physical and emotional aspects of it to be a normal happy adult. If they are in a committed relationship, why would you want to make this as difficult as possible? I agree. The "I don't have to make it easy" comments have left me baffled. It just seems so unnecessary. Almost vengeful. I also hate the "be an adult, get your own place" comments. In today's economy that's harder than ever before. It's not uncommon for kids to move back home after college. I want my attitude to be "this will always be your home whenever you need one". Not "I'm going to lord it over you and make you feel inferior because you still live here". Why do people want to treat their adult children that way? And then there's all the posts that mention "it's about respect". Respect for what, exactly? I truly don't understand that comment. I'm not sure where you would get vengeful from that. In our family, we did not preach to our kids about waiting for marriage to have sex. We did, however, make it clear that we hoped they would wait until they could emotionally, physically, and financially accept the possible consequences of a sexual relationship. If it is too difficult for them to financially live on their own, then they aren't ready to support a family. Just because you have different rules for your family doesn't make the others wrong and vice-versa. Sharing a bed in my home with a high school aged girlfriend just wouldn't work for me and my family.
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Post by myshelly on Feb 21, 2017 22:45:38 GMT
The law is different everywhere. Statutory rape laws are state laws. The situation described in the OP is not illegal in the vast majority of states. Thank you. I suspected as much. In those states where statutory rape is still illegal, WWTPD? This is what I find confusing. To clarify, statutory rape *is* illegal in every state. How statutory rape is *defined* is different in every state. I'm not sure what I would do in that case. It's not illegal where I live and I've never lived anywhere that it's illegal. I have a philosophical problem with statutory rape laws in any case, but the idea of an 18 yr old having sex with a 17.5 yr old being illegal is so beyond ridiculous to me that all I can do is be thankful that that's not the law where I live.
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Post by gramasue on Feb 22, 2017 1:01:12 GMT
I wouldn't be comfortable with it. They're just too young to be given the freedom that is usually reserved for someone a bit older, at least. My girls and also granddaughter who lived with us were okay with that. It's just my rule and they respected it.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Feb 22, 2017 1:06:40 GMT
But the difference is I was referring to the situation detailed in the OP. 17 1/2 yo hs senior and 18 1/2 college freshman dating for 6 months. Ok, I didn't get that specifically from your post although perhaps I should have assumed so 😊 Can young people (say early 20s?) afford to get their own place in the US? If they were a year or two older would you answer differently? I only ask because so many young people have to live back with their parents after uni or college these days due to financial situations. It was probably my fault for not making my thoughts clearer originally. Sorry 'bout that. Some young people in some parts of the US can afford a place of their own. Though it might be a crummy apartment, or even just a rented room, in a dangerous part of town. Yes, if the couple in question were a bit older, and both out of high school, and mature in general, then my view would change. I feel that kids in high school are still just that - kids. And I feel that at that age, it's still my responsibility to limit their access to poor choices, or at least not give my blessing and bedding to their cause, LOL. I feel it is a totally different ballgame when talking about 21 & 22 yr olds who have more maturity about them, understand the consequences of their actions better, and work hard in trying to live as mature adults, but can't afford sky-high rent prices on an apartment of their own.
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