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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jan 9, 2018 20:45:05 GMT
does she think 'coordinating a wedding' means that YOU'LL actually DO all the planning work instead of them, maybe?? Maybe you need to be CRYSTAL-CLEAR that you're not DOING anything-- you'll HELP, but that's it. Make sure they know when you talk to them about it: "this is your LAST chance for my assistance" and after that, you're out of it.
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Post by bigbundt on Jan 9, 2018 20:45:21 GMT
"These 4 things need to happen in the next 7 days, or I'm going to need to back off from helping for my own sanity. I'll still be around to do any tasks you ask me to do, I'll be excited and supporting you, but I can't be the planner anymore if these things don't happen by these dates." Great idea....I'd also forewarn those coming to not expect a big wing ding... tacos on a paper plate?? Yeah noWow. If you were my MIL and heard that I would tell you and your family to go to hell*. Come for the marriage and stay for the tacos (which is usually more awesome than bland catering hall chicken) but if you want a big party, plan (and pay for it) yourself. * Well maybe not at 22 but in my filterless 40s? Yep.
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Post by needmysanity on Jan 9, 2018 20:50:12 GMT
That right there is your answer. If they answered Yes to question B, then you are just wasting your time and effort. You are way too invested in this event, especially considering they won't put an ounce of effort in themselves. I would simply tell them that it is obvious they aren't serious about a wedding and that you are done with being their planner. Then let your family know that there is no need to come. If the family can't change their plans, then turn it into a family reunion. But you need to be done with being a wedding planner for a couple with no interest in a wedding. I think she meant they said Yes they want the help, YES, they want to get married and YES, they have money to spend. Thanks for clarifying - they are saying YES to getting married, having the money and wanting my help.
I agree...to a point. I feel if you are inviting people to an event, you should make it enjoyable for them. Regardless of the event (birthday party, wedding, baby shower) people are taking their time to travel, show up, buy a gift - you should make it as nice as you can and keep their needs in mind. They aren't doing that at all. When I mentioned you would need to provide drinks with the dinner they looked at me like I was nuts. Imagine their look when I also suggested appetizers and more than water.
Their whole world revolves around them and what's in it for them. I should have never offered to help - I knew better but I always try to be the "best" mom and mother in law possible.
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Post by needmysanity on Jan 9, 2018 20:53:35 GMT
Great idea....I'd also forewarn those coming to not expect a big wing ding... tacos on a paper plate?? Yeah noWow. If you were my MIL and heard that I would tell you and your family to go to hell*. Come for the marriage and stay for the tacos (which is usually more awesome than bland catering hall chicken) but if you want a big party, plan (and pay for it) yourself. * Well maybe not at 22 but in my filterless 40s? Yep. Oh I'm all for the tacos...tacos are my favorite. My issue is lack of concern for planning, guests needs, etc.
They haven't even reached out to the person who is supposed to marry them. So if that doesn't get done, they may not have anyone there that can marry them.
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Post by Prenticekid on Jan 9, 2018 20:57:14 GMT
They have a venue and a caterer. Those are the hard things. I'd do whatever I cared about and let the rest go. (If I were in your situation, that would be the cookie table. LOL) They won't be walking down the aisle naked and guests won't go hungry.
As an aside, you'd be surprised at how much you don't have to worry about this stuff even if you are them. Anything we ordered for my DD's wedding was received in a week to ten days. Things really do not need to take months and months anymore.
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Post by MichyM on Jan 9, 2018 20:57:28 GMT
My husband tells me to just drop it and let them figure it all out by themselves. Yup. I've only gotten this far, but based on your previous posts, this seems to be very good advice. Their relationship drives you bonkers, you've been very clear about that. Getting involved in wedding planning with them, when they clearly don't have a clue, will likely cause a wider rift between them and you. I'd let it go. Whats the worst that could happen if you leave it to them? Nothing earth shattering, right?
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Post by bigbundt on Jan 9, 2018 20:58:27 GMT
They still have three months. I've seen beautiful weddings come together from proposal to weddings in just a few weeks. Their options and vendor selection will be limited and they may end up paying more but it is not impossible.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Jan 9, 2018 20:59:13 GMT
My son/dil was kind of this way. She just wasn't super into wedding planning at all. I kept reminding them of things they needed to get done. Once they FINALLY got a wedding photographer settled (my part) I stepped back and said "rest is on you, what you end up with, is what you have." Know what happened? My son stepped up to the plate and started getting in gear which is totally out of his character. It ended up being really a nice little wedding. Not fancy but that's not the point anyway. My DIL was beautiful, the cake looked like it should be in a magazine (came from a grocery store and was delicious), the photos were "ok" (long story) but they're married and that's what matters. It's not important to them. You're the nagging mother/mother in law. Step back and if it's a clusterfuck, that's on them, not you. Job of the MIL: Shut up and wear beige. Normally, I’d adree freebird, but they ASKED her to help plan and coordinate the wedding. Oh I know they asked, but they're not doing ANYTHING. At some point, you have to step back and let them step in the pile of shit they created. It's not going to reflect on the OP, she did her share. She's not the hostess of this party. I promise you, there'll be a whirlwind of activity the last month and they will pull "something" together. Will it be a dream wedding? (no not hers because she wanted disney princess wedding!) but they'll have something. Remember the most important part. It's not about the cake or the dress. It's about the marriage.
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Post by heathers on Jan 9, 2018 21:00:37 GMT
How did the family receive news of the wedding date if no invitations were sent? I let my family know the date so they could start planning for it. They all live out of town (closest one is 6 hours away). I guess if no wedding actually happens, you at least get to visit with relatives. I do think inviting out of town guests was a bit premature on your part when the soon to be bride & groom are not giving any indication (at this point) that they would like a wedding in front of relatives, or a wedding at all.
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Post by jumperhop on Jan 9, 2018 21:03:03 GMT
FOLLOW YOUR HUSBANDS ADVICE!!!! You are stressing about this and they aren't giving it a second thought. This isn't your battle. Let it go.
Jen
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Post by needmysanity on Jan 9, 2018 21:03:34 GMT
I let my family know the date so they could start planning for it. They all live out of town (closest one is 6 hours away). I guess if no wedding actually happens, you at least get to visit with relatives. I do think inviting out of town guests was a bit premature on your part when the soon to be bride & groom are not giving any indication (at this point) that they would like a wedding in front of relatives, or a wedding at all. I didn't invite my family until my son gave me the official guest list (I offered to turn it into a database for them to keep track of invitations, RSVP etc). When I saw them on the list, I asked them first if I could let my family know the date ahead of time so they could make travel arrangements. They were fully aware I was letting them know.
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Post by MichyM on Jan 9, 2018 21:05:04 GMT
I do want to add that my ex and I planned our (lovely, low key) wedding (for 30 people) in 3 weeks. So if they do get off their duffs and decide to actually plan their wedding, it can be done.
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 9, 2018 21:07:28 GMT
I can't believe she doesn't have a dress! This is the Disney princess bride, right?
With family coming in for the event, I think you should concentrate on planning a rehearsal dinner/BBQ for out of town guests and maybe a few local excursions (winery tour?).
If they have the venue & caterer, then you know when & where at least part of the day is taking place. If they are getting married at the venue, then all the major details are covered and everything else is up to them to make things look pretty or not.
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Post by lurkingsince2001 on Jan 9, 2018 21:12:36 GMT
Maybe I am confusing Pea offspring, but wasn't she the one so into Disney she wanted a Princess wedding? If so, maybe she's realized she can't get what she really wants so she's just going with the flow or apathetic.
Is it possible they are, even subconsciously, counting on you doing all the work and then picking up the tab? Pull the old "Well you're the one that wanted x, Mom..."?
After all the trouble and stress these kids have caused and the lengths they've gone to to be together, their behavior now makes me scratch my head. Other than imagined Princess weddings, I'd have thought they'd elope just to get it done and prove something.
Isn't this the couple who was going to bail on a holiday gathering to get to VS for a sale and when you put your foot down she pouted?
Maybe they don't have the money and don't want to admit it or are hoping you'll save the day because you don't want to be embarrassed.
If I am remembering this wrong, I apologize.
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Post by needmysanity on Jan 9, 2018 21:13:04 GMT
I can't believe she doesn't have a dress! This is the Disney princess bride, right? With family coming in for the event, I think you should concentrate on planning a rehearsal dinner/BBQ for out of town guests and maybe a few local excursions (winery tour?). If they have the venue & caterer, then you know when & where at least part of the day is taking place. If they are getting married at the venue, then all the major details are covered and everything else is up to them to make things look pretty or not. I think she bought a dress, decided she didn't like it and sold it or something like that. I can't get a clear answer on the dress - I stopped asking.
I like your idea of concentrating on the things I can do - I will talk to DH about planning something the night before with the out of town guests. We can do dinner the night before and make sure they have a nice breakfast the day of. I think I may also call the local hotel and try to block their rooms or book them all together.
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Post by littlemama on Jan 9, 2018 21:14:14 GMT
I would give them a list of the things they need to do and let them know that that is all you have time for at this late date (or set a deadline after which you cannot help any more - maybe 45 days before the wedding). Break the list into necessities (officiant, beverages, food, plates, cups, silverware and napkins) and optional items (DJ, photographer, cake, decorations). The necessities are the things they need in order to end up married at the end of the day and to host a proper meal for guests. The optional things are items that will enhance their memories of the day.
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Post by needmysanity on Jan 9, 2018 21:14:38 GMT
Maybe I am confusing Pea offspring, but wasn't she the one so into Disney she wanted a Princess wedding? If so, maybe she's realized she can't get what she really wants so she's just going with the flow or apathetic. You have the correct offspring.
The Disney wedding was too expensive so they opted for a close to home venue with a larger guest list.
I wish they would have just done the Disney thing now. I don't think she will be happy with anything else.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jan 9, 2018 21:23:06 GMT
Eeesh, I start thinking and planinng my kid's parties at 90 days out. I'm anxious just imagining a wedding!
It seems there is a huge breakdown of communication here.
I would text them both in a group text and ask, "Less than 90 days guys! Hope you're getting excited! I wanted to ask, when you asked me to be the coordinator, can you be specific as to what that means to you? What exact tasks would you expect me to complete in order to coordinate your wedding best?"
And go from there. The answers in this thread vary and can all be great advice. But it could be bad advice based on the answer to that question. You can't really shut up and wear beige when they specifically asked you to be the coordinator, and you agreed. You are involved now, so staying out of it would awful advice. I agree they are not putting enough work into it, but maybe it's because of that communication break-down. They may have expected YOU to do it all. If so, that sucks and you have a lot of work to do.
Break it down for them. Start with a theme or colors. Tell them to pick one by tomorrow.
Take the colors/theme and pick 3 cakes. Text the 3 photos. Which is your favorite? Then call shops in town. Say the cake pictured would be $350. Does that work? Yes, okay, when would you like to do tasting, 3pm Saturday or 6:30 Tuesday.
Just give no more than 3 options with every step. If they don't like any of the 3 you narrow it down to, say, "okay, find one you do like and email me the picture by Thursday." Do NOT let them take advantage of you and send you on a wild goose chase for a perfect cake. That's where they will need to step up. Just be firm. Here's 3, pick one. None work? Find one that does and get back to me. Rinse and repeat.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,549
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Jan 9, 2018 21:23:21 GMT
This one kind of makes my blood boil on your behalf, OP. I'm with those who say give them an ultimatum with what input you want, and by when, and if they don't follow through wipe your hands of the whole thing.
They seem way too immature to be thinking about getting married.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jan 9, 2018 21:25:18 GMT
to me, what PrettyInPeank said is giving them waaaaay too much assistance and benefit of the doubt, rewarding their lack of input up to this point, in essence, by giving them extra effort on your part to actually DO the planning. But that's just me.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Jan 9, 2018 21:25:42 GMT
I feel bad that they are spending thousands of dollars to attend and they are going to get a crappy wedding. I'm embarrassed at their lack of planning or caring about their guests and I want to tell my family and our friends not to come. I tried explaining it to my son and fiancé but they just don't seem to get it. Right now the guests are getting taco, beans, rice on a paper plate with water bottles. No appetizers, no drinks, no dancing, no table decorations, nothing. It's embarrassing!!! are you worried about how they will feel about it or how embarrassed you will feel? I was so angry when I heard my mom apologizing to her family because there was no dancing and a full open bar and SHE wouldn't have dared had them come out for such a causal wedding, etc. my father was so embarrassed by the thought of my small wedding in a tiny rural church - that he told my entire paternal family to not bother coming - and they didn't (with the exception of one cousin - and i will forever be thankful for him!) i can not tell you how hurt i was by this - by the fact that he was bothered and they all listened and until i just read what you wrote about being embarrassed - i really hadn't given too much to thought to it but for the love of Pete - get over it either do it for them or back out but do not apologize to your guests on their behalf try and just enjoy the fact that they are in love and getting married and not so much about the food because if you are going to be embarrassed it should be that your main concern seems to be putting on an appropriate event for your family
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,549
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Jan 9, 2018 21:27:07 GMT
Eeesh, I start thinking and planinng my kid's parties at 90 days out. I'm anxious just imagining a wedding! It seems there is a huge breakdown of communication here. I would text them both in a group text and ask, "Less than 90 days guys! Hope you're getting excited! I wanted to ask, when you asked me to be the coordinator, can you be specific as to what that means to you? What exact tasks would you expect me to complete in order to coordinate your wedding best?" And go from there. The answers in this thread vary and can all be great advice. But it could be bad advice based on the answer to that question. You can't really shut up and wear beige when they specifically asked you to be the coordinator, and you agreed. You are involved now, so staying out of it would awful advice. I agree they are not putting enough work into it, but maybe it's because of that communication break-down. They may have expected YOU to do it all. If so, that sucks and you have a lot of work to do. Break it down for them. Start with a theme or colors. Tell them to pick one by tomorrow. Take the colors/theme and pick 3 cakes. Text the 3 photos. Which is your favorite? Then call shops in town. Say the cake pictured would be $350. Does that work? Yes, okay, when would you like to do tasting, 3pm Saturday or 6:30 Tuesday. Just give no more than 3 options with every step. If they don't like any of the 3 you narrow it down to, say, "okay, find one you do like and email me the picture by Thursday." Do NOT let them take advantage of you and send you on a wild goose chase for a perfect cake. That's where they will need to step up. Just be firm. Here's 3, pick one. None work? Find one that does and get back to me. Rinse and repeat. I respectfully disagree. Bride-to-be is working part time. It's her and her fiance's wedding. She and her fiancé should be doing the bulk of the work. OP has other responsibilities in her life and doesn't need to take their hands as if they're 3 year olds. SaveSave
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jan 9, 2018 21:31:26 GMT
to me, what PrettyinPeank said is giving them waaaaay too much assistance and benefit of the doubt, rewarding their lack of input up to this point. But that's just me. I at first thought the same, but then realized if I had been hired by a couple instead of doing it free, how would I proceed? I'd kick myself for not spelling out my personal definition of coordinator better, and just suck it up and help. I planned my entire wedding at 21 and married at 22. It can be done. I feel they should be doing more. But I am conflicted as to whether or not it's too late to put it all back on them after my agreement to coordinate. I didn't have a coordinator. But when I watch wedding shows on TLC where the couple meets with a coordinator, they literally do everything. Including find cakes that they feel captures your vision. I'd be afraid saying, "actually you guys do it, I'm staying out of it" this late in the game. It could hurt their relationship.
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Post by gar on Jan 9, 2018 21:34:24 GMT
All very strange. I keep having to remind myself your the MOG not the MOB. Where is her mother/father in all this? I know you said that they had an odd relationship but isn't she involved at all? Are the bride's family not attending the wedding?
I think I would have one more brief, blunt, to the point, face to face talk AT them. I would be laying out in no uncertain terms that this wedding will not happen if they don't book things, give them a written list of what those things are and repeat that YOU are NOT doing those bookings. Say that from here on in you will not be doing anything more towards it until THEY report back that they have made some significant progress.
I do wonder if they actually know what to do or think if they've never been to a wedding though...
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jan 9, 2018 21:34:57 GMT
Eeesh, I start thinking and planinng my kid's parties at 90 days out. I'm anxious just imagining a wedding! It seems there is a huge breakdown of communication here. I would text them both in a group text and ask, "Less than 90 days guys! Hope you're getting excited! I wanted to ask, when you asked me to be the coordinator, can you be specific as to what that means to you? What exact tasks would you expect me to complete in order to coordinate your wedding best?" And go from there. The answers in this thread vary and can all be great advice. But it could be bad advice based on the answer to that question. You can't really shut up and wear beige when they specifically asked you to be the coordinator, and you agreed. You are involved now, so staying out of it would awful advice. I agree they are not putting enough work into it, but maybe it's because of that communication break-down. They may have expected YOU to do it all. If so, that sucks and you have a lot of work to do. Break it down for them. Start with a theme or colors. Tell them to pick one by tomorrow. Take the colors/theme and pick 3 cakes. Text the 3 photos. Which is your favorite? Then call shops in town. Say the cake pictured would be $350. Does that work? Yes, okay, when would you like to do tasting, 3pm Saturday or 6:30 Tuesday. Just give no more than 3 options with every step. If they don't like any of the 3 you narrow it down to, say, "okay, find one you do like and email me the picture by Thursday." Do NOT let them take advantage of you and send you on a wild goose chase for a perfect cake. That's where they will need to step up. Just be firm. Here's 3, pick one. None work? Find one that does and get back to me. Rinse and repeat. I respectfully disagree. Bride-to-be is working part time. It's her and her fiance's wedding. She and her fiancé should be doing the bulk of the work. OP has other responsibilities in her life and doesn't need to take their hands as if they're 3 year olds. SaveSaveThen OP should have never agreed to be the coordinator. But that ship has sailed, and it's down to the wire now.
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 9, 2018 21:36:12 GMT
My son's girlfriend mentioned a destination wedding a few months back. I said I thought that would be fun, and inside I was like 2:45 of this video. www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzALZjoIx0g
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,648
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Jan 9, 2018 21:37:37 GMT
For me the issue isn't so much what kind of wedding - I think a couple can have just as lovely wedding surrounded by their loved ones in a backyard BBQ as they can in a fancy venue with all the glitz. But even a simple, casual wedding requires some amount of planning and thought. Hard to tell if they are go with the flow people who think it will work itself out, are counting on you, or just don't care. But either way I think you are just adding stress for yourself that you needn't be. I would do one last communication with specific questions, requests for answers/timelines, etc and be clear that you can help coordinate, but not do the full planning. If they don't provide any info, then you're done. Just be clear though so they don't think you are doing all this planning and then be surprised when nothing is done closer to their wedding date. At some point it will be important enough or not for them to kick into gear and get some work done. And in reality, in the end, what does it matter? I would plan a dinner or get together the night before for the people coming from out of town and a breakfast in the morning and be done with it until they request some specific help.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Jan 9, 2018 21:38:32 GMT
My son/dil was kind of this way. She just wasn't super into wedding planning at all. I kept reminding them of things they needed to get done. Once they FINALLY got a wedding photographer settled (my part) I stepped back and said "rest is on you, what you end up with, is what you have." Know what happened? My son stepped up to the plate and started getting in gear which is totally out of his character. It ended up being really a nice little wedding. Not fancy but that's not the point anyway. My DIL was beautiful, the cake looked like it should be in a magazine (came from a grocery store and was delicious), the photos were "ok" (long story) but they're married and that's what matters. It's not important to them. You're the nagging mother/mother in law. Step back and if it's a clusterfuck, that's on them, not you. Job of the MIL: Shut up and wear beige. Normally, I’d adree freebird, but they ASKED her to help plan and coordinate the wedding. And she tried and now it's time for her to tap out. She can't care on their behalf.
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Post by Legacy Girl on Jan 9, 2018 21:41:20 GMT
That's insane. What do they think will happen? A magical fairy will provide dinner and clothes? Does she have a dress and bridesmaids? What are their wedding party doing? She has bridesmaids and they are as clueless as she is. They aren't doing a thing.
And yes...I think they are thinking it all magically happens.
But isn't this the couple that wanted an onsite Disney wedding? If they've come to grips with the fact that they can't afford that type of an event, I wonder if they're just not sure what other direction to go. At Disney, after all, Tinkerbell handles all the details! Hope you can get them moving in the right direction ASAP. P.S. ~ Looks like an earlier poster and I had the same thoughts. Sorry to duplicate!
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jan 9, 2018 21:42:50 GMT
So I googled wedding planner/coordinator. Here is what they are expected to do:
Full Service Planner Of course, not all brides envision their wedding as Disney fairy tales, or perhaps they have but are too busy with their careers and just can’t be hassled with the details of planning their perfect wedding, so they’ll ask you to take care of them each step of the way. While you have the added luxury of commanding much higher prices for this level of service, this kind of wedding planning is a mammoth task to undertake. Luckily, the more experience you gain, the more streamlined and effortless your process will become.
As mentioned, Full Service wedding planning is comprised of everything included in Day of Coordination in addition to months of planning and perfecting prior to the big day.
Let’s get started!
Budget In some way or another, the budget will affect every decision of the wedding. Very early in the planning stages, the wedding planner should initiate a detailed discussion with the client as to their budget for the wedding. Some clients will handle the budget themselves and some clients will want or need your assistance. Before considering any venues or making appointments with any vendors you must be certain that everyone agrees on the total budget for the wedding. You can waste a lot of your time and end up with a very upset and frustrated client by looking at venues or vendors that are not within their expected budget.
Despite its importance, don’t think the budget is set in stone, either. As the bride and groom evolve and change, so will their plans for their wedding. They may eventually realize that the wedding is too great of an expense and reduce their budget, or more commonly, they may realize that their dream wedding is going to cost more than they had realized and this will raise the budget. The wedding planner must keep up with these changing expectations and craft their proposals accordingly.
Venues Once the budget is agreed upon, it is time to begin researching venues. Comparing venues can be one of the most complicated jobs a wedding planner has to do, but it is also where they can be provide the most value to their client. Each venue you are considering will probably include different rental items, price their food and beverage differently and may figure tax, tip and service charges at different rates.
Before you pull your hair out trying to compare venues, give each venue a call and ask if they have availabilities on your targeted wedding day. If a venue is not available for a specific date (or dates) then your job as a wedding planner just became a lot easier. This may upset the bride and groom, but your job as a planner is to provide the best possible options to your couples and being able to rule out a venue just speeds up the process of finding the venue that your couple will eventually agree on.
The sooner you rule out the wrong wedding venues, the quicker you’ll find the right one. Venues are often booked over a year in advance so don’t delay for too long! It’s important to keep a sympathetic yet pragmatic approach with your couples.
Be careful to read venue contracts carefully! Booking the venue will often be the single greatest expenditure for most couples and even small differences in fine print can cost your clients thousands of dollars. Ask venues to hold a date while your clients make a decision and encourage them to decide quickly and pay a deposit as soon as possible. You never want to start looking for venues all over again because your client’s wedding date was taken the day before their deposit was received.
And yes, it has happened. And no, it’s not pretty!
Vendors Once a venue and date is selected and confirmed with a deposit, it is time to begin selecting vendors. Just as is the case with venues, many of the best wedding vendors (photographers, videographers, florists, etc.) can book a year or more in advance. To ensure the best selection of vendors for your client you want to quickly begin booking appointments for vendors within your client’s budget and style.
Keep in mind your client’s personality and schedule when booking appointments. Some clients have a difficult time making decisions and can feel overwhelmed easily, so feed them vendors slowly. Give them time to consider each vendor and make a decision on each category before moving on to the next one. Other clients may only have a short period of time before going back to school or, if they are having a destination wedding, they might only be able to make one trip to the area. If this is the case then make all the appointments quickly and bunched together.
You can already see the challenges that go into being a wedding planner, but as mentioned previously, your task will become more more rewarding the more skilled you become.
Turning Magic Into Reality After the venue and vendors are booked and secured, your client will need your help with everything else that makes a wedding the magical day they always envisioned.
Your client may want your assistance with the selection of the bride and bridal parties attire. This may include attending appointments at the bridal salon or simply giving your opinion on photos sent to you by email. It is a good idea to attend at least one appointment with the florist, since it will typically be up to you to distribute the corsages, boutonnieres, and bouquets to the bridal party and you will want to be familiar with the ceremony and reception décor as well. The client may want your opinion on the wedding cake, linen colors, food selections or the way in which the food will be served. All this while keeping the budget in the back of your mind!
So many details and we have not even mentioned the printed materials! I’m talking about the Save the Dates, wedding invitations, rehearsal dinner invitations, menus, place cards, programs and welcome letters. Even if your client does not require your help with all of these details you still should ensure they stay on track with getting everything done in a timely and cost-effective fashion.
Conclusion Since every wedding will be entirely unique, the answer to the question, “What does a wedding planner do?” will never be entirely complete. But nevertheless, take away this message: your primary duty as a wedding planner is to satisfy the concerns that the bride had when she decided to look for a wedding planner. These concerns will always change, and that is OK. As long as you’re there to meet them, you’ve fulfilled your duty.
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