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Post by lesserknownpea on Jan 23, 2019 8:36:12 GMT
I guess for me “broken” might be different than what it is for others... But, just this perception that life has busted me in ways that I’m not sure are reparable. That no matter what I do, I’m never going to respond to things the way a “normal” person would. Like I’m always trying to play catch up to others that just seem to know how to function better than me. I’m not depressed, I consider myself happy, intelligent and generally capable. I don’t know that this is even a self esteem thing. For me, I guess it’s more of a trauma thing. Something inside me has been broken and I really don’t know that it will ever be... put back together again. I will second MaryMary explanation. And yes. There is good. I enjoy the small things. I’m learning mindfulness. But I will never be what I was meant to be, and nothing in my life escapes being filtered by the trauma.
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Post by gar on Jan 23, 2019 9:20:40 GMT
Thankfully no.
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RedSquirrelUK
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Jan 23, 2019 10:48:04 GMT
Of course. Broken, and mended, and broken, and mended x 1000. Like a well-used, 50-year-old tea-pot, I drip, I'm discoloured and have limescale deposits, chips and cracks. Some cracks are only in the glaze, and some go right through - but only at the top where I don't need to hold water. None, yet, stop me being a useful tea-pot.
I have scars, aches and pains, and heartache, and thoughts and memories that still reopen old wounds. That's life. That's human.
Am I broken beyond my fitness for use? Nope. If you can see past the cosmetics, and hold me just right so that I don't dribble, you will find I still make a perfect cup of tea.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jan 23, 2019 10:52:11 GMT
Altered irreparably.
I'm not exactly broken, as I keep on going, but I will never be what I had wanted to be all my life.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jan 23, 2019 10:52:29 GMT
This thread makes me sad, to think that more than half of the people who have responded feel that they are or were "broken".
I was blessed to have had a lovely childhood, and I feel after reading a few threads here tonight that I should ring my parents right now and thank them for that.
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RedSquirrelUK
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Jan 23, 2019 11:06:11 GMT
What is Oprah? I've seen it a couple of times in polls now and wondered- I must have been off sick that day. It is a misspelling of Other?
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michellegb
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Post by michellegb on Jan 23, 2019 11:10:16 GMT
Pretty much all day, every day. I just never feel "right". I remember when I did but I don't know how to get back there.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 11:44:24 GMT
I voted "used to be." I went through a period of PPD that lasted several years. I finally went to counseling and worked through the worst of it. I still struggle with low days. DH stuck with me and we worked through that rough time. Today, I do not feel 100%, but it is better than it was 10 years ago.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 11:55:08 GMT
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pilcas
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Post by pilcas on Jan 23, 2019 12:27:31 GMT
No, I have never felt that way. I’m sorry people end up feeling that way due to life’s circumstances.
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Post by peasapie on Jan 23, 2019 12:54:24 GMT
I have felt very damaged at a few points in my life, like when I was with my ex husband, who was a serial cheater. It was hard for me to have any relationship after that, as I kept thinking it would happen again. I felt trapped, as if I was drowning. With therapy and medication I was able to figure out some things about my life, growing up, my parents — and understanding all of that helped me understand how I was reworking childhood issues I’d had with my parents, the pain of conditional love, for example, with my spouse. Eventually, after several years, the crack healed and I was able to go on.
Feeling broken, to me, suggests feeling fundamentally incapable or unworthy of happiness. I hope those of us here who are feeling this way can find a path to help understand the past and find strength in the present.
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Post by Merge on Jan 23, 2019 12:54:33 GMT
I think we're all the product of our experiences, good and bad. Whether that makes us "broken?" I don't think so. I would see brokenness as an inability to function or an inability to love or relate to others.
No, I am not broken. But I am the product of all my experiences, just like everyone else.
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Post by giatocj on Jan 23, 2019 13:02:39 GMT
I consider myself very broken and very damaged. Some days it is a real struggle for me to just put one foot in front of the other.
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Post by mellowyellow on Jan 23, 2019 13:16:47 GMT
Like others have said, not broken but slightly cracked. Some years are better than others. The last few years have been tough and I'm working really hard to get in a better place. Hugs to you all.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jan 23, 2019 13:33:43 GMT
I am very resilient and take things very much in stride. But... I am fully aware that I have had a fortunate life. The 'bad' things that have happened to me have all been things I have been able to put into perspective and adapt to. I try to never take my life for granted. I hate that trite phrase, "very blessed," but I have certainly been very lucky.
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Post by mikklynn on Jan 23, 2019 13:49:56 GMT
I'm Humpty Dumpty and my pieces are scattered all over the place. I just keep taking it one day at a time. I think you are at least halfway there! You left your unhappy situation and are rebuilding your life. That took guts, my friend.
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breetheflea
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Post by breetheflea on Jan 23, 2019 14:04:14 GMT
Yes, I think I'm broken. I survived my childhood but not without permanent issues... sometimes I think I'm being dramatic (it could have been worse...) and sometimes I think about what I went through that was not "normal" and shouldn't have happened.
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Post by Prenticekid on Jan 23, 2019 14:04:55 GMT
I chose broken. Perhaps I am more bent than broken. Like, broken, but I hold my sh*t together. It was a skill I learned from dealing with broken parents as a child. My siblings didn't make it out okay and they are so much more broken than me that I feel like I'd take away from their misery and pain if I claimed to be broken.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 14:24:09 GMT
I did growing up because that's what I was taught by my family/church.
I don't anymore since I dropped those horrible tenets.
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Kerri W
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Post by Kerri W on Jan 23, 2019 14:33:33 GMT
I think I'm too stubborn to be broken. I was raised by a mentally ill mother** and a not perfect father who was really good at parenting. So, good and really bad. I've had bad things happen in life and I've made bad choices, just like everybody else, but fortunately I've been able to look for the good amongst the bad. Sometimes I feel really battered. But I also work really hard to not stay there and do everything in my power to make changes.
**I do not toss this around flippantly. My mother is mentally ill and chooses not to be compliant in any way. Period. I think, maybe hope?, there is a glimmer somewhere in there that she would choose better if there was any possible way she could, but she doesn't and I don't think (again hope?) she has any idea how far reaching her illness has affected the people around her.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jan 23, 2019 15:17:04 GMT
Of course. Broken, and mended, and broken, and mended x 1000. Like a well-used, 50-year-old tea-pot, I drip, I'm discoloured and have limescale deposits, chips and cracks. Some cracks are only in the glaze, and some go right through - but only at the top where I don't need to hold water. None, yet, stop me being a useful tea-pot. I have scars, aches and pains, and heartache, and thoughts and memories that still reopen old wounds. That's life. That's human. Am I broken beyond my fitness for use? Nope. If you can see past the cosmetics, and hold me just right so that I don't dribble, you will find I still make a perfect cup of tea. This is beautiful and exactly how I see myself.
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iluvpink
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Post by iluvpink on Jan 23, 2019 15:22:15 GMT
I guess for me “broken” might be different than what it is for others... But, just this perception that life has busted me in ways that I’m not sure are reparable. That no matter what I do, I’m never going to respond to things the way a “normal” person would. Like I’m always trying to play catch up to others that just seem to know how to function better than me. I’m not depressed, I consider myself happy, intelligent and generally capable. I don’t know that this is even a self esteem thing. For me, I guess it’s more of a trauma thing. Something inside me has been broken and I really don’t know that it will ever be... put back together again. That's how I was thinking it was meant. And, no, I definitely don't think I am broken. Maybe a little cracked, but that's it. I do know people who are. It's sad. A former coworker is. She's very smart, kind, loving, funny etc. But her childhood has left her broken. She still struggles from it. I know others who are also, but she came to mind. It makes me sad for her because she is truly one of the most intelligent, perceptive and kind people I know. But it's hard for her to use her talents as to their fullest. Which is fine, but I know it bothers her.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 15:22:57 GMT
No. My life might stink worse than a turd in a sauna right now but I have hope that it will get better. I already feel that whatever happened yesterday (and it was bad) today I have found the strength to stop my tears, know that help is coming and carry on.
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Post by thundergal on Jan 23, 2019 15:24:06 GMT
Since I lost my mom in January 2015 I don't think my heart will ever feel right again. I think this will be the thing that will undo me. Change my answer from no to yes. And this is after a devastating divorce that I barely survived in 2015. I'm so sorry. I'm sending you a hug.
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Post by walkerdill on Jan 23, 2019 15:38:41 GMT
Not right now but I have felt that way in the not so distant past. When things aren't going to well personally or professionally I will just get in a funk.
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Post by summer on Jan 23, 2019 15:57:16 GMT
No, I don't consider myself broken at all. I didn't realize that so many people felt that way.
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Post by christine58 on Jan 23, 2019 16:01:46 GMT
No...I am so very fortunate to have grown up in a very loving home with a supportive family. I even hesitated to post this....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 16:02:33 GMT
Nope. I am a warrior goddess.
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Post by misadventurous on Jan 23, 2019 16:32:44 GMT
This thread makes me sad, to think that more than half of the people who have responded feel that they are or were "broken". I was blessed to have had a lovely childhood, and I feel after reading a few threads here tonight that I should ring my parents right now and thank them for that. This was almost exactly how I was going to respond. I have led a charmed, charmed life for sure, and I'm so incredibly grateful for it. I lurk way more than I post, and I feel like I 'know' so many of you. It's absolutely heartbreaking to think that this many of you beautiful, smart, interesting, funny, talented, worthwhile people feel broken.
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flute4peace
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Post by flute4peace on Jan 23, 2019 16:34:37 GMT
Completely. Physically, mentally. Emotionally.
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