ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400 
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 22:24:10 GMT
About how negative and rude she is and instead she snapped and spent ten minutes berating me about how no one likes me and I’m rude to everyone constantly and bringing up anecdotes from years ago to demonstrate how awful I am, and how she can’t understand why I let her look after my children and maybe if she’s so awful I can find someone else.
Thanks, mom.
Sitting in the bathtub crying.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Oct 4, 2019 22:32:42 GMT
About how negative and rude she is and instead she snapped and spent ten minutes berating me about how no one likes me and I’m rude to everyone constantly and bringing up anecdotes from years ago to demonstrate how awful I am, and how she can’t understand why I let her look after my children and maybe if she’s so awful I can find someone else. Thanks, mom. Sitting in the bathtub crying. (((Hugs))) |
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Post by mrssmith on Oct 4, 2019 22:42:28 GMT
Wow. Sorry. That's terrible.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 22:45:32 GMT
In front of my two little girls, too!
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Post by christine58 on Oct 4, 2019 22:47:14 GMT
In front of my two little girls, too! But that's on you...sorry. If you approached her about her being so negative etc in front of your kids...how is that any different than her response to you? |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 22:47:48 GMT
In front of my two little girls, too! But that's on you...sorry. If you approached her about her being so negative etc in front of your kids...how is that any different than her response to you? She brought it up. And I didn’t know she was going to launch into a personal attack. |
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Post by kernriver on Oct 4, 2019 22:48:48 GMT
Ya know, I WOULD find someone else to babysit if it’s at all possible. I wouldn’t want that attitude around my children. Sorry...my mom was way worse than you describe so I feel for ya.
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Post by nlwilkins on Oct 4, 2019 22:48:58 GMT
Ah, that is totally uncalled for. {{HUGS}}
Now you know that you tried and can adjust your behavior from here and determine the amount of time you want to spend with her and the amount of time you want your daughters to spend with her. But, if it is any way possible, I would find someone else to look after your children. Her behavior is setting an example for your girls.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 22:49:50 GMT
Ya know, I WOULD find someone else to babysit if it’s at all possible. I wouldn’t want that attitude around my children. Sorry...my mom was way worse than you describe so I feel for ya. Ironically, just today I was thinking about how I wish I had another care provider because I dislike my children being exposed to her behaviour. However, this is not a possibility at the moment. |
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Post by christine58 on Oct 4, 2019 22:50:47 GMT
But that's on you...sorry. If you approached her about her being so negative etc in front of your kids...how is that any different than her response to you? She brought it up. And I didn’t know she was going to launch into a personal attack. She brought up your comment about her negativity?? Were your kids present when you approached her>>> Yeah find someone else to watch your kids. If she said it to your face, she's said it behind your back |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 22:51:21 GMT
She brought it up. And I didn’t know she was going to launch into a personal attack. She brought up your comment about her negativity?? Were your kids present when you approached her>>> Yeah find someone else to watch your kids. If she said it to your face, she's said it behind your back I have no other options currently. Perhaps in the new year. |
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Post by christine58 on Oct 4, 2019 22:53:38 GMT
I have no other options currently. Perhaps in the new year. Nothing at their school?? |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 22:54:18 GMT
I have no other options currently. Perhaps in the new year. Nothing at their school?? not at 5:30 in the morning or at a price I can afford. |
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Post by MichyM on Oct 4, 2019 22:56:58 GMT
Ok, I know nothing about your mom so if there's something important I've missed, my apologies. I'm working off this one post.
You say your mom is negative and rude.
Your mom says that you're unlikable and rude.
To me this indicates the need for an ongoing conversation between the two of you as well as a commitment to resolve these issues. Without the kids around.
ETA: and I am truly sorry that the two of you are having problems and that you're hurting.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 22:59:30 GMT
I have no desire to discuss this further with her. There will be no resolution. I have tried in the past.
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Post by jenjie on Oct 4, 2019 23:02:12 GMT
I’m sorry 😔
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Post by gar on Oct 4, 2019 23:04:27 GMT
((Hugs))
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Post by dewryce on Oct 4, 2019 23:05:05 GMT
I’m sorry, it must have hurt to hear those things from her, even if you’re not close.
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Post by peasapie on Oct 4, 2019 23:06:57 GMT
I have no desire to discuss this further with her. There will be no resolution. I have tried in the past. My mom was pretty toxic, so I can imagine a little of what you are experiencing. I’m sorry for that — I always wished I had the kind of friendly relationship with my mom that some of my friends had with theirs. You may have no desire to discuss this further, but if you are going to continue to avail yourself of her assistance, you may have to swallow your pride and find a way you both can reach an understanding. It sounds like you each may have some similarities in personality that are getting in the way of reaching an accord of some kind. Maybe you need a third party to mediate a discussion. |
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
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Post by scrappyesq on Oct 4, 2019 23:12:19 GMT
About how negative and rude she is and instead she snapped and spent ten minutes berating me about how no one likes me and I’m rude to everyone constantly and bringing up anecdotes from years ago to demonstrate how awful I am, and how she can’t understand why I let her look after my children and maybe if she’s so awful I can find someone else. Thanks, mom. Sitting in the bathtub crying. <<<<<hugs>>>>>
I don't have kids but everything else about this was me before I cut that demon out of my life. That isn't the choice for everyone, just here to let you know that if you decide to be done with her you can thrive.
More than anything keep your children away from her. She is modeling how to treat you for them. I've seen the contempt my niece shows to her mother (my sister) and I know where some of it comes from. Rule of thumb: if you can't treat the parent right than you should have no access to the kids.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 23:15:59 GMT
I have no desire to discuss this further with her. There will be no resolution. I have tried in the past. My mom was pretty toxic, so I can imagine a little of what you are experiencing. I’m sorry for that — I always wished I had the kind of friendly relationship with my mom that some of my friends had with theirs. You may have no desire to discuss this further, but if you are going to continue to avail yourself of her assistance, you may have to swallow your pride and find a way you both can reach an understanding. It sounds like you each may have some similarities in personality that are getting in the way of reaching an accord of some kind. Maybe you need a third party to mediate a discussion. She had made it very clear that the only understanding to be reached is for me to agree with her all the time, and in a way she deems respectful. The good thing about this is I finally conjured the nerve to ask her to please stop talking negatively about my dad and telling me her plans to secretly leave him in the very near future as I find it incredibly stressful. |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Oct 4, 2019 23:31:15 GMT
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
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Post by femalebusiness on Oct 4, 2019 23:35:12 GMT
There is an old Mexican saying: What you cannot change you must endure.
So sorry that you can't change it and have to put up with it. Hang in there nothing lasts forever.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Oct 4, 2019 23:45:49 GMT
Is she old enough to get dementia? My mother used to talk crazy talk, too. Sorry it sucks.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 9:16:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2019 23:48:26 GMT
How old is your oldest now? Is she able to get the youngest two on their bus in the morning?
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Post by jackietex on Oct 4, 2019 23:50:37 GMT
In front of my two little girls, too! That is a terrible thing to do! |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 23:50:48 GMT
Is she old enough to get dementia? My mother sat talk crazy talk, too. Sorry it sucks. I don’t know if it is dementia. I don’t think so, just because I think she’s always been like this, it just took me until a few years ago to really notice. |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Oct 4, 2019 23:52:37 GMT
Is she old enough to get dementia? My mother sat talk crazy talk, too. Sorry it sucks. I don’t know if it is dementia. I don’t think so, just because I think she’s always been like this, it just took me until a few years ago to really notice. Mine controlled my life. It’s ok now as I was very dependent on her. Talk to your dad. It’s sounding familiar. |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 23:52:49 GMT
How old is your oldest now? Is she able to get the youngest two on their bus in the morning? My oldest is 18 and away at university. My next oldest is 15, but leaves for school around 7 and the little girls’ bus doesn’t come until 8:40. Two days a week I leave at 7:45, and two days a week I leave at 5:30 in the morning. I’m not home until 5:30 any day of the week. |
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Post by malibou on Oct 4, 2019 23:54:09 GMT
I'm so so sorry. That must feel horrible in many different ways. I just want to scoop you out of that bathtub and hug you for as long as you need to cry this out.
If I lived near, I would so help you with your kids.
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