sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Mar 27, 2020 19:46:30 GMT
I’m so sorry. 😔
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Post by pierogi on Mar 27, 2020 20:06:11 GMT
Fuck. That. Fucker.
I’m sorry, that’s not a mature response, but you’ve been given good advice by other Peas so I’ll defer to them.
Take good care of yourself. Get a good lawyer and let him/her do all the heavy lifting. Change the locks. This is no longer his home and he shouldn’t be able to come and go and dump his drama on you. Let the lawyers do all the communication.
Again, take care of yourself. Check in with us to let us know you’re ok during these uncertain times.
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Post by tallgirl on Mar 27, 2020 20:49:56 GMT
I'm so sorry. The Peas will always be here for you.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Mar 27, 2020 20:54:51 GMT
OMG, that is beyond belief. Let’s hope he will cool off and rethink his decision. Even if he still wants to separate, there is a big way to handle it. Hugs.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Mar 27, 2020 20:58:07 GMT
I've been thinking of you all day. I still don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. And angry on your behalf.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 15:16:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2020 20:59:23 GMT
TankTop there are no words. I am so sorry. You can do this. You CAN survive and thrive.
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Post by laurasw on Mar 27, 2020 21:04:30 GMT
I'm so sorry. What a shitty time for him to do this. I don't have any good advice but know we're here and can listen any time.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 15:16:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2020 21:34:16 GMT
I'm so very sorry.
You are stronger than you know and you will become stronger than you ever thought you could be.
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,637
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Mar 27, 2020 21:39:40 GMT
I’m so sorry...such an awful time to be dealing with this. Take care. I hope things go well for you.
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Post by hop2 on Mar 27, 2020 21:44:10 GMT
OMG I’m so sorry I will keep you in my thoughts
I’m sending you virtual {{{ hugs }}}
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Post by birukitty on Mar 27, 2020 21:48:53 GMT
I am so sorry, TankTop . Mostly for the panic you feel right now. I don't know how long it will be for you, but I know with 100% certainty you will look back on this and not recognize yourself right now, and you won't wish to be back to yesterday either. You'll see what a blessing it is that he left. Because a man who is capable of literally walking away like this, at a time like this, is not a man you want to be married to. Look at who he's revealed himself to be, and be glad he revealed it. This may not help with the immediate panic you feel. That will work itself out as you walk through the practical things you need to face right now that have already been posted above. Each step you take to gather the information you need and to protect yourself and your children will build such strength and independence in you. Determine that you will be better for this, and you will. Strong hugs, friend. You will make it through this. Julee said this much better than I ever could and I agree 100% with everything she said. I am so very sorry this has happened to you Tanktop at a time like this. Don't concentrate on that now. Do what you need to do ASAP to protect yourself and your children financially. It does sound like he had these plans for awhile (the apt. was all ready) so who knows how far ahead he is on the paperwork? The biggest concern is that he not get ahead of you as far as marital assets are concerned. Legally nowadays most assets are split 50/50 so what I'd do is get to the bank ASAP and take half of everything in the accounts (hopefully they are joint) and put them in a new separate account just for you-that way he can't touch your half. If later the court decides you should get more hopefully you'll get it (for your kids), but the biggest number 1 concern right now is making sure he doesn't put 100% of all of the marital assets in a new account just for himself that you can't touch-it's been known to happen. You also, in my opinion, should NOT take 100% of the marital assets for yourself right now because it will look bad later down the line during the divorce and could back-fire on you. Also you need an attorney ASAP. And I'm next in line to clobber this waste of space for what he has done to his family. If anything it shows you exactly what his true traits are-extreme selfishness-cares more about his own happiness than the safety and care of his children. Anyone who chooses to leave his family in the middle of a pandemic for some new girlfriend or whatever he's planning is not a man you want to live your life with anyway. You deserve so much better! And I'm here to tell you too that once you walk through this difficult time you will emerge so much stronger and happier than ever before.
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hutchfan
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,136
Jul 6, 2016 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by hutchfan on Mar 27, 2020 21:58:15 GMT
Sending you hugs. I am so sorry that you are going through this.
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Post by wordsmith on Mar 27, 2020 22:16:59 GMT
I am so sorry. What a shitty thing to do. Like others have said, take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to.
(hugs)
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Post by Alexxussss on Mar 27, 2020 23:53:49 GMT
We are here for you and I’m so sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. You deserve better and are stronger than you know! Sending you hugs and strength.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,234
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
Jun 26, 2014 18:42:33 GMT
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Post by Sue on Mar 28, 2020 0:02:37 GMT
What a horrible, horrible situation for you and your children to be going through right now. My only advice would be to listen to some of the wise peas who have been in your shoes. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Hugs.
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Post by SallyPA on Mar 28, 2020 0:09:48 GMT
Wow, what a jerk. I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through with him the past few months and now this. Hugs. Just take it day by day, write lots of lists to keep track of everything.
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Post by swtpeasmom on Mar 28, 2020 0:11:31 GMT
I am so sorry, TankTop . Mostly for the panic you feel right now. I don't know how long it will be for you, but I know with 100% certainty you will look back on this and not recognize yourself right now, and you won't wish to be back to yesterday either. You'll see what a blessing it is that he left. Because a man who is capable of literally walking away like this, at a time like this, is not a man you want to be married to. Look at who he's revealed himself to be, and be glad he revealed it. This may not help with the immediate panic you feel. That will work itself out as you walk through the practical things you need to face right now that have already been posted above. Each step you take to gather the information you need and to protect yourself and your children will build such strength and independence in you. Determine that you will be better for this, and you will. Strong hugs, friend. You will make it through this. ^^This. I am so very sorry you are going through this. You WILL be stronger as this road continues to travel...(((HUGS)))
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FurryP
Drama Llama
To pea or not to pea...
Posts: 6,976
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Mar 28, 2020 0:20:35 GMT
Omg, this took my breathe away. I am so sorry. I don't even know what else to say. Stay strong.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Mar 28, 2020 0:52:43 GMT
So sorry to hear this.
Follow the advice that the others have mentioned. Get all documents. Remove them from the residence, so he can't find them. Get whatever funds you can. If you are the primary on any accounts, have him removed as an authorized user.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Mar 28, 2020 0:59:13 GMT
Stop listening to the feckless selfish asshole.
He’s telling you how to feel because he KNOWS he is a fucking lying asshole.
Get all that paperwork in order, get a lawyer. Let him communicate through them.
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jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
Posts: 5,521
Jun 26, 2014 21:55:15 GMT
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Post by jayfab on Mar 28, 2020 1:12:14 GMT
I'm sorry you are going thru this. Sending hugs.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Mar 28, 2020 1:44:12 GMT
OMG, that is beyond belief. Let’s hope he will cool off and rethink his decision. Even if he still wants to separate, there is a big way to handle it. With all due respect, I don't view this as *his* decision any longer. He can't simply decide he's made an oopsie and come back. The ball is now in TankTop's court. He made his move. It's her turn. She gets to decide now what's best for her and her children.
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Post by lucyg on Mar 28, 2020 1:44:33 GMT
I’m so sorry. I hope tomorrow looks better for you.
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Post by alexa11 on Mar 28, 2020 2:05:43 GMT
OMG- I am so sorry that you have all of this crap on your plate now. Keeping you and your children in my thoughts and prayers.
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Post by Chips on Mar 28, 2020 2:19:19 GMT
What a Piece of shit! I am so sorry and sending you love and hugs. We are definitely here for you my love.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Mar 28, 2020 2:21:43 GMT
Oh no. I'm so very sorry. Thinking of you...
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Post by kikitwo on Mar 28, 2020 2:39:26 GMT
No advice (it sounds like you’ve gotten the best advice from others here). My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Post by kenziekeeper on Mar 28, 2020 3:02:16 GMT
I am so sorry. You’ve been given great, straightforward advice here. If you’re the pea I’m thinking of, I think a few of us might be local-ish. Don’t hesitate to ask for help.
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Post by Linda on Mar 28, 2020 3:41:09 GMT
((((Hugs))) and prayers
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Post by mama2three on Mar 28, 2020 4:07:09 GMT
I’m so sorry. You’ve gotten good advice from others so I’ll just say I’m thinking of you. You’ve got a great network here rallying around you. You are strong and resilient and you will get through this. Breathe. One day at a time.
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