Would you let your parent or in-law move in with you?

All of our parents are very independent, so I don't see any of them accepting that too easily. My mother is a solid no. She would drive both me and my husband up a wall. She refuses to acknowledge boundaries and does not pay attention or listen to any advice.

My father and MIL I think we could work out after some agreed upon rules and depending on the size of our space.

My now husband was living with his brother and father when we got married. I lived with them as "roommates" for two years. It's my second marriage after I said, "Never say never, but I'm never getting married again." So, you can see, I really wanted to be married to my husband. But our marriage almost didn't survive the "roommates". We basically lived in our bedroom. I hated going "home". I don't think we could do it again. Both my mother and my MIL have long term health care insurance and we'll be utilizing that if they can no longer live on their own. FIL is now in a veteran's home. Much better situation for him than living with us although he still regularly (as in once a week) complains that "family should take care of family". Don't know what he expects to happen? Quit my job to take care of him full time in a house that doesn't have a full bath on the main level and he can't do stairs? Not gonna happen. Plus he's extremely sexist. I don't think I'd make it more than a week before I'd do serious harm to him.

My house has all bedrooms and main bathroom upstairs. I may consider taking care of my parents in their home someday. Who knows what the future looks like. My father has it in his living will that he'd like to die on the farm. It all depends on where I am at with my job, life, and their condition.

My grandmother cared for my grandfather for years after his stroke, which paralyzed him on one side. Used a hiyer lift in the end. He was a large man but she was small and mighty. Then my uncle had a very bad car accident. Family was called to visit him, ventilator was removed, and he lived! Grandma was a huge part in rehabbing him. Tube feedings, physical therapy, and relearning everything. She is amazing and not once, did she complain. A wonderful example of determination and love.

I don't recommend this for everyone. Very stressful and changes the family dynamic, no doubt. It's a hard place to be in, when you have minor children to care for, as well.

My parents, maybe? They are in their 60's, so hopefully many years away from that even being a thought. Both setas of my grandparents were living fully independent well into their 80's, so fingers crossed that is what happens with my parents. But I don't think that is what they would want or really what I would want. Thankfully we live close by. They have mentioned that when the time comes they want in home care, rather than moving to a nursing home.

My inlaws. No way in hell. We asked them what their long term plans were a number of years ago. My mil said fil will die and she is going to move in with her favorite daughter. Fil believes that his oldest granddaughter (currently 14) is going to go to grad school out here and live with them and take care of them. Or that one of our families is going to move into their house with them. We all have 3 or 4 kids and live in large homes. Their home is less than half the size of any of ours and literally falling down. Half the house has to have a "shower cap" of tarps put on the roof every year because the roof is falling apart. There is a hole in the dining room ceiling where water has been leaking in every time it rains that has mold all around it and a bucket underneath it. Add to all of this fil is starting to decline mentally and has these grand plans for remodeling their house - he has been trying to get his plans approved by the town for over 10 years. He thinks he is special and they should grant him a bunch of special things that are against the building codes. Mil is toxic and will destroy anyone's marriage if she were to move in with them. The favorite daughter that she wants to live with will lose her husband in an instant if she choses to let mil move in. Mil is horrible to him and he is a wonderful person - but no one is good enough for this precious child.

My inlaws are in their late 70's. Still healthy - they are currently on an 18-day trekking tour with National Geographic in Patagonia. But fil is hard of hearing and definitely declining mentally. Mil's mom was sharp mentally into her 90's. Mil is a roaring not nice person if she can't work out, so we are very worried about what will happen when her body fails her. She is already not as able to do much of what she could even just a couple of years ago and it makes her cranky. The good news is that when the time comes they will end up with my sil's (they live less than a mile from each other a couple of states away from us). Dh knows that there is no way I am willing to take on their caregiving. They are barely (and some times not even) manageable now for me, there is no way I could deal with having to help them on a daily basis.

If we had some sort of guest house or apartment in our home, then yes. Otherwise, no.

Both of us have parents in their 80’s. It is soon getting to the point where they may not be able to live independently. We would take them in. And then if medically we couldn’t take care of them, we would look into a facility for them.

My brother lived with our mom for 8 of the last 9 years of her life. He was single, she needed help and it worked out fairly well until she really started to decline mentally. At that point, it got very, VERY stressful for all involved. I wouldn’t recommend it even if you have the space. 

I know another couple who had his mom move into their very small house for a while. She didn’t want to go to a nursing home but needed more care and couldn’t live independently anymore. So much of the burden fell onto my friend (the wife) and it wasn’t fair to her or their high school aged kids who practically walked on eggshells any time they were home because grandma would get irritated and start lashing out if she was disturbed from too much noise or whatever. I think it lasted 4-5 months before my friend finally put her foot down and told her DH she’d had enough and mom had to go because it wasn’t working out. They found her a nice place close to their home and my friend’s sanity was saved.

Nope!

It's a moot point for us since all our parents have passed.  But the answer was always "no way in h#ll".  My late MIL and I did better when we weren't around each other.  My parents would never have been happy in a big city, not to mention we were still moving frequently then.  We did need to help them out, but solved that problem by buying a house in their town for them to live in.  After dad passed, my sister (single) moved in and helped out for 8 years until mom passed.  

I admire those who are willing/able to have parents live with them.  It takes a great deal of patience and compromise I would think.

no.  i think there are other options.  i know how hard it can be and i know some people have no choice.  

Yes, I would

NO.

My mother moved in with us about four years ago. She and the situation have gone steadily downhill. The past year has been a literal hell on earth. In October I asked my sisters to take her to give me a break. She paid me back for that by telling everybody who would listen how horrible we treated her. Horrible, horrible lies that absolutely did not happen. At this point I'm not sure I can even be in the same room with her. I definitely would not be open to her coming back to stay with us again. Never ever. My husband is an absolute saint. My children are saints. Truly-my family has gone SO FAR above and beyond.

At one time I probably would have said yes to my sweet dad. My experience the past few years has made me realize I value our relationship enough that I would say no.

MIL would never move away from her hometown (16 hours from us). Even if she would, I would have a very hard time saying yes. I don't have a relationship with her.

We bought this house to move my parents in. It was DH’s suggestion. It has been over 10 years. Neither of my parents thought they would still be alive at this point (92&88, I was a late baby & am only in my 40s) & I guess we probably didn’t either although I’m not really surprised.

My mum has been in full time nursing care for 2 years at this point. We could no longer meet her needs at home as she needs 24/7 nursing now. Dad visits at least 3 times a week, we take him for at least 2 of those visits.

DH & I are doing fine but there is an honest voice in my head (that I am not very proud of) that wonders how we are about to be empty nesters next year (ds 21 is away at uni, dd 17 will also go next Autumn) but not empty nesters because of my parents. Dad needs daily injections & I cook for him as well as drive him to mum’s etc so none of the freedom that should come with this time will be available.

We are both in absolute agreement that we would never have his family move in (they are 20 years younger than my parents). Not the same relationship at all. DH declared that before I even asked.

Definite no here. MIL lives with her other child. She did say once that she was living with us when we added on (we had no plan to add on so I was a bit taken aback.)

My dad I think would be fine, he's pretty easy-going. My mother on the other hand I could not deal with. Thankfully she hasn't been overly nice to me in the past few years so she'd definitely be barking up my sister's tree if she needs a place to live. She did me a huge favor because I probably would have been weak and had a hard time saying no prior to the drama of the last few years.