psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217
Location: Canada's Capital
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:26 GMT
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Post by psiluvu on Apr 8, 2020 14:18:40 GMT
malibou Wow that is a lot to deal with even in the best of times. Hugs and good thoughts to you. Thank you all for sharing it really does help.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 8, 2020 14:21:00 GMT
Feeling really tired these days. I think between working, school stuff for DD and just in general, my mind is just tired. Work is essential (medical) and although we are doing really good here (NOTHING like NYC), there are still meetings, emails, new rules every day if not every other hour. It's exhausting. Nurses here have NO idea how good they have it and all they do is complain. We don't have a single case of the virus (knock on wood) but you would think they are on the front lines in NYC. They are worried because they don't have the N95 masks. UMMMMM you don't need them at this point. They are not even in a hospital. I don't get it. I am the assistant to the head medical person for where I work.. All the other medical people (mental health mainly) are great... but the rest of them, uggggg.. our head nurses are great as well. Everyone is just stressed out.
At home, it is just me and DD for the most part. I am actually glad DH is not home everyday and on the road. He would literally drive me up the wall. He's home now for four days and it's going fine. But I know how he is and I would just be a walking cranky person because I would want him to keep busy and do some house stuff or whatever, and he thinks he is on vacation. OYE.. so love you to pieces honey, but if you are under my foot and laying there watching TV or sleeping all day, I will be one cranky wife. So thankful he is working.. (He probably is too.. lol).. Works for us.
And schooling.. although she is old enough to do it on her own, she is supposed to be doing schoolwork for 2 hours everyday. I know she isn't. (I'm not the only one.. I talked to a teacher friend and her son is the same way...).. They log in, get their work, fly through it and is done 15 minutes later. I can't watch her three days out of the week.. So two days I keep an eye on her... Doing what I can.
Anyways, I am just tired. But feel a little better now. Back to work.
Edited to add: I think I lost my mind on another post... I need to step back for a few days I think.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 8, 2020 14:21:12 GMT
Big, big hugs to everyone.
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Post by malibou on Apr 8, 2020 14:24:21 GMT
mikklynn please know in my heart I am hugging you up.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 8, 2020 14:30:41 GMT
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Post by gillyp on Apr 8, 2020 14:32:39 GMT
I am starting to calm down. I closed my shop on 23rd March after much dithering and tears and wondering if it was the right thing. We are basically candy/ice cream/tobacco, none of which can truly be classed as essential imo. We have one stand of basic groceries, one stand of newspapers but not enough of either, I felt, to carry on when there is a supermarket about 200 yards away that I knew would be staying open. I felt staying open would encourage people to move around the town more when they should not be doing so.
All my staff have either youngsters or vulnerable people at home and it was them I was mostly worried about. If we are not trading there is nothing to pay them with so I have furloughed them all for the time being. I am incredibly grateful to the government for the financial help they are providing. Without it I would have had to lay off 6 staff but, fingers crossed, they will be getting 80% wages covered until we can reopen. I've just received a government grant too, for which I am so, so grateful as I can pay the last few bills and know there is no debt. There are so many businesses SO much worse off than me but it has still been very stressful.
I have one son at home with his family, working from there as he is classed as vulnerable and the other is working in ICU and critical care, with COVID-19 patients. DH is retired so he is at home anyway.
Good luck and hugs to all of us.
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Post by destined2bmom on Apr 8, 2020 14:34:50 GMT
lainey It is so good to see you back. RedSquirrelUK That sounds awful. I hope that your GP sees you and you get over your illness soon. malibou I am so sorry for the loss of your family members. I am really sorry that so many people are suffering and frightened these days. I am praying for all of you and your families. I was anxious before they shut the schools down because one of my sons is immuno suppressed. If he gets it; he becomes a statistic. We are doing everything we can to keep from getting it. We have been on self isolation for almost a month. DH is the only one going to the grocery store. He has done it twice. I had to take my son to the specialist for an appointment once a week, for 3 weeks. We wore masks and gloves, but going there made me really nervous. I actually felt like holding my breath each time. I have just been praying daily and being grateful for everything we have right now. I have stopped watching the news conferences and have actually started scrapbooking again.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 8, 2020 14:38:52 GMT
I'm not ok. My soontobeex is having an affair, but doesn't think we need to separate, so I'm doing everything with the lawyer. I'm trying to keep it fair, but I'm about at the end where I'm going to change the paperwork to everything I want, and he can get his own lawyer and figure it out himself. I'm working from home, and actually got a promotion last week, which is great, but it comes with much more responsibility, and a team of 8 people under me. At the same time, I'm trying to keep on top of 3 boys doing their online school, when they just want to play all day. And trying to keep the house clean, get groceries without getting exposed, and save a tiny bit of my sanity. My sister did the whole keeping it fair thing with her ex (he was addicted to porn.. and not your run of the mill porn) but some of that stuff you hear about on Dateline.. FBI comes in and shuts down the dark web stuff kind of thing (she didn't know about that until after the divorce)... she WISHED so bad she just didn't go for it and take everything she could... so if you are questioning it... might be something you should really consider. She also has three kids and just started working full time for the first time since she was married.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Apr 8, 2020 14:40:53 GMT
Struggling. My insomnia is back with a vengeance. I have to work still, so I’m functioning (badly) on 2-3 hours of still interrupted sleep most nights. I feel like the mental health toll of this, is being underestimated by a lot of essential companies. My husband still has to work, and is highly vulnerable to this virus. I’ve never felt anxious or have felt this overwhelming sense of dread, as I have every time he leaves the house for work now, and I’m not quite sure what to do with it. Also the rage I feel towards our Governor and the President is gnawing at me. I miss my family back home, horribly. I’ve mentally prepared myself for a year of this, but I still wonder what that’s going to do to my mental health, even thinking that way.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 8, 2020 14:44:06 GMT
I'm ok 90% of the time (thank you years of Lexapro, practicing thought stopping and learning meditation) but I have breakthroughs of anxiety attacks that seem to come from nowhere, usually at night and often not triggered by anything in particular. Mostly worrying about my daughters who are nurses or just general anxiety about uncertainty. Only needed xanax a couple of times but when I needed it, I took it.
Trying to exercise daily, either hikes or the bike inside and to maintain a schedule.
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Post by tracyarts on Apr 8, 2020 14:44:23 GMT
I'm dealing with my yearly respiratory misery. Lots of hot tea and cough drops are helping though and I may be able to avoid my yearly bronchitis infection.
I'm having anxiety related physical issues. Headaches, backaches, stomach upset, and chest tightness. Panic attacks too, but I have breathing exercises and meditations to help with that.
DH is working from home. He's stressed out over work because for some reason he hasn't been able to explain well enough to me, his workload is heavier than normal. I guess the work from home protocols are dumping a lot of extra duties onto him that usually aren't his responsibility. He's having a major bitch out session with his supervisor right now over the phone. It's a weird situation, he's a supervisor in training so this guy is kind of above him but not really a superior. DH has all the duties of a supervisor but not any of the benefits yet. It's just bad timing and this is a very new thing for his company, they're figuring out work from home as they go. But he's learning to advocate for himself and explain what is too much, why it's too much, and what can be done to reach a better balance. He has to figure this out if he wants to be a supervisor though...
My town is acting like Covid-19 doesn't exist here. Aside from a few closures and changes, it's business as usual. I live in a petrochemical industry town and oil must be refined and chemicals must be processed. We can't have a panic slow things down. There's no testing here, no reporting of local cases, and no guidance from local authorities and government. The city leaders say refer to the county if you're concerned. We know it's here though, there is an outbreak at a nursing home in the next town south of us, so maybe 5 miles from my neighborhood.
People aren't taking it seriously because while people are sick and dying, this is a massive metropolitan area, and most people don't actually know anyone who is in the hospital or have died yet. But it is coming. I don't see how we can manage to miss a serious outbreak. Walmart is packed, sporting goods stores are packed, furniture stores are packed, the supermarkets are doing a steady business too. People are still hanging out together and letting kids play together, just at private residences. Social distancing at parks is a joke. Bible studies are happening, people are getting hair and nails done at home by out of work beauty industry workers. The local main street looks like any other day, except the lines at all the drive through windows are very long.
And we were finally going to move. But the renovations for the new (to us, but old) house are put on hold yet again. So that's a letdown. But TBH, I'm glad we're here rather than there for this. More resources here. No grocery delivery or even curbside pickup there.
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Post by busy on Apr 8, 2020 14:45:36 GMT
Hugs to everyone. Eh. Not great. My sleep is terrible and I can't get myself in a proper daily rhythm, which are both warning signs for me of depression returning. I haven't been on meds for a while and my old doctor, who'd seen me through several bouts of depression of varying severity and durations, moved out of state. She would have prescribed me meds on my say-so. My new doctor has my records but doesn't know me - I've only seen her twice. She won't prescribe meds without a full evaluation and they aren't doing anything but emergent cases in person. And for whatever reason, a video visit isn't satisfactory for her. So... I'm worried it's going to get worse because I can't get meds. DH has no work due to covid and won't for the foreseeable future. Financially, we're fine, as I'm the primary breadwinner. That's never bothered either of us, but me being the only breadwinner is harder. Of course there's absolutely nothing he could do about it, but he's struggling with not being able to contribute financially at all, especially because he hates that it puts extra psychological pressure on me when my depression is rearing up. Plus, I work for a growth stage startup, which comes with inherent risks. We are looking pretty good even with all these uncertainties, and I'm familiar enough with our financials that I'm not overly concerned. But these are unprecedented times and if we've learned anything in the last several weeks, it's that things can turn on a dime and change everything. Plus DS has anxiety. He had been doing so well with it in the last several months and then it's back in full force due to covid. I'm aware that on the whole, we are doing better than many. I'm grateful for the privileges and resources we have that help protect us from things being much worse. But it's still rough.
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Post by Monica* on Apr 8, 2020 14:48:38 GMT
I feel for everyone who has posted on this thread. We sure are in this thing together, huh?
I feel like I am calming down from a few weeks ago. My biggest worry is vulnerable family members across the country. I was working myself up into panic attacks over it. But over the past few weeks, I have started to come to a place of acceptance of what I cannot control. My sister told me you have to be willing to accept whatever happens, and put your faith in God to see you through. Not to get all "Jesus, take the wheel" on you, but this has really helped me. There is so much we can't control, and it's so easy to get worked up into a state of panic. But I let my mind go to the dark place and face the enemy head-on. Once you stare down your deepest, darkest fears, it gets a little easier. Then you can work on some distractions. We will get through this no matter what happens.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 8, 2020 14:52:53 GMT
We’re hanging in there at our house. We normally spend quite a bit of time together so we’re not driving each other too nuts. DD isn’t thrilled with distance learning but the assignments during these first couple weeks have been mostly busywork while the teachers have been working behind the scenes to get the technology component ironed out. Once they get back to something more closely related to what they had been doing, I think it will be better. I miss being able to get together with friends but we still text and talk on the phone pretty regularly. I miss going to the chiropractor and my lower back is killing me. We’re really lucky that we’re better able to financially ride this out than a lot of people.
I feel bad for those we know who are all on their own in this. We’ve been calling those friends and family members regularly to check in on them. I couldn’t imagine having to shelter in place totally alone in my house. Normally those people are able to go out and shop, go to the library, etc. for social outlets and now they don’t have those things. That would be really hard, IMO.
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Post by mom2rjcr on Apr 8, 2020 14:55:11 GMT
Not okay. Trouble sleeping and anxiety. I hate "teaching" on line! I haven't left my house since March 12th. I have asthma and lupus, so DH has been the designated grocery getter. I sit on the couch and try to find the energy to clean my house. It is disgusting! I just want to cry. My depression is worse, and my doctor has increased the dosage but still feel like shit.
My 18 year DS is really struggling with anxiety too. He just wants to go back to school and be with his friends. It's his senior year...so this really sucks!
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DEX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,354
Aug 9, 2014 23:13:22 GMT
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Post by DEX on Apr 8, 2020 14:55:18 GMT
You asked for the truth? Not well. I have depression and even on a good day, I struggle. I live alone and the isolation is getting to me. I make myself go down into my craft room daily but there are some days I just want to get back into bed and pull the covers over my head. I miss human touch. I go into the shower and take long showers just so I can feel something on my skin. I talk and text but what I miss is a face to face conversation with joy and laughter. I have a prearranged appointment with my therapist today (via video) and am looking forward to that. I will pick up groceries today and I think I will go for a long drive up the freeway for a change of scene. Thanks for asking how we are doing. Sorry to be such a Debby Downer.
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 8, 2020 15:02:22 GMT
malibou, you have so much on your plate and I want to give you (((HUGS))) and comfort. I'm OK. I have a health issue that would normally require attention, but I'm not going anywhere near a doctor right now and I'm doing what I can to fix it myself. I usually get weekly fluids, but I won't go to the hospital to get them right now and the home healthcare order is being bounced around. It's recurring and I'm used to it. Other than that, everyone is calm and trying to keep up their spirits. A daily walk is essential for my mental health. It feels good to be in the fresh air. My first world problem is that the neighborhood cats know me and they're used to me stopping to cuddle and play and now I can't, because I don't know who else has petted them. Poor kitties. Poor crazy cat lady. I come home and my 2 cats look at me sideways. It's surreal.
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Post by needmysanity on Apr 8, 2020 15:02:55 GMT
I'm honestly struggling. I am still working but every day it's getting slower and slower. We laid off half our staff 2 weeks ago and who knows if we will lay off more. Since I'm the CFO I feel the weight of the company on my shoulders 24/7. I then go home and feel like I need to give my family attention when all I really want to do is be alone in a dark room by myself.
DH is home and unemployed. He is struggling but trying so hard to keep good spirits. I know it's hard for him right now but he is doing his best.
DS is also home and struggling. He was diagnosed bi polar last week. We meet with the therapist next week to talk treatment plan. He doesn't want to take meds so this will be difficult for all of us. He misses college, he misses his job, he isn't sleeping.
I think the only one not struggling is the dog.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 8, 2020 15:03:04 GMT
Feeling really tired these days. I think between working, school stuff for DD and just in general, my mind is just tired. Work is essential (medical) and although we are doing really good here (NOTHING like NYC), there are still meetings, emails, new rules every day if not every other hour. It's exhausting. Nurses here have NO idea how good they have it and all they do is complain. We don't have a single case of the virus (knock on wood) but you would think they are on the front lines in NYC. They are worried because they don't have the N95 masks. UMMMMM you don't need them at this point. They are not even in a hospital. I don't get it. I am the assistant to the head medical person for where I work.. All the other medical people (mental health mainly) are great... but the rest of them, uggggg.. our head nurses are great as well. Everyone is just stressed out. At home, it is just me and DD for the most part. I am actually glad DH is not home everyday and on the road. He would literally drive me up the wall. He's home now for four days and it's going fine. But I know how he is and I would just be a walking cranky person because I would want him to keep busy and do some house stuff or whatever, and he thinks he is on vacation. OYE.. so love you to pieces honey, but if you are under my foot and laying there watching TV or sleeping all day, I will be one cranky wife. So thankful he is working.. (He probably is too.. lol).. Works for us. And schooling.. although she is old enough to do it on her own, she is supposed to be doing schoolwork for 2 hours everyday. I know she isn't. (I'm not the only one.. I talked to a teacher friend and her son is the same way...).. They log in, get their work, fly through it and is done 15 minutes later. I can't watch her three days out of the week.. So two days I keep an eye on her... Doing what I can. Anyways, I am just tired. But feel a little better now. Back to work. I know what you mean about your kid and school. Mine has been phoning it in big time. She’ll fly through the assigned task and say, “Can I be done now?” after like 10-15 minutes. I look at the thing and say, “Would Ms. ___ think this is good enough?” And DD will look at me like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I agree it’s taking way more of my time than it needs to, especially with the current assignments that she ought to be able to just do just fine on her own. But noooo.
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 8, 2020 15:03:42 GMT
You asked for the truth? Not well. I have depression and even on a good day, I struggle. I live alone and the isolation is getting to me. I make myself go down into my craft room daily but there are some days I just want to get back into bed and pull the covers over my head. I miss human touch. I go into the shower and take long showers just so I can feel something on my skin. I talk and text but what I miss is a face to face conversation with joy and laughter. I have a prearranged appointment with my therapist today (via video) and am looking forward to that. I will pick up groceries today and I think I will go for a long drive up the freeway for a change of scene. Thanks for asking how we are doing. Sorry to be such a Debby Downer. Do not be sorry. You're dealing w/something that is very unsettling, to say the least. Do what you can to take care of yourself and know that you have friends here.
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
Jun 26, 2014 14:43:10 GMT
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Post by scrappington on Apr 8, 2020 15:08:19 GMT
I came here to post about my struggles, but after reading realize that I'm only dealing with annoyances. Hugs to all of you who are having problems. I will hope and pray that each of you is able to find some measure of peace each day as we work though this crisis. Your struggles matter. If it's a struggle to you it matters, just because it's not to someone else doesn't lessen the effect on you.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 8, 2020 15:14:01 GMT
I'm so sorry to hear so many of you are struggling After spending the last few weeks on the verge of tears today I'm feeling hopeful. Ds got an email asking all the kids their thoughts on having prom in May, June or July. Our late-June "spring break" trip has not yet been cancelled like I suspected (though it still may be, I know), rather they've stopped taking reservations to keep guest numbers lower. The models I've been watching have been lowering their predictions. China is starting to lift their lockdown and parts of Europe are making plans to come out as well. And it's sunny and warm outside. Perhaps a little light at the end of the dark tunnel, albeit it still a little ways away.
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Post by hop2 on Apr 8, 2020 15:21:04 GMT
After reading here I realize I ought to be fantastic.
I’m still employed. My family is still ok. So I’m OK.
I mean I’m fine. I’m not enjoying work but I know ‘too bad suck it up & deal’ and I am. Normally I enjoy my job 9.5/10 days. My allergies have my imagination on a roller coaster. Between the on & off cough and the on & off headache I’m fearful of having covid every other day. I’m stressed about my DD and the fact that she still has to come home. ( June) And she will be alone if she gets ill, but let’s face it she would be alone here if she got I’ll. Which is one of the factors that played into the decision to wait it out there. My DS lost his internship because of the pandemic. It’ll be fine he still lives with either me or his father so he won’t have huge issues but it’s done a number on his spirits. Three weeks ago I shopped & stocked up for ‘2 weeks’ I've stretched it out but now it looks like I’ll have to go grocery shopping in the supposed worse 2 weeks to go to the store. And no there is no delivery or pick up options here I tried. Most stores that did have pick up stopped doing it now. I’ll have to go by Monday unless I give a list to my Ex & DS but that puts them going there at the worst time. But I’m pretty sure Ex would go anyway he’s been going every week. He whines about being in a high risk group but then doesn’t act like he is. And yes, I do worry about him. Ex or not I still worry.
But for the most part, when I’m not letting my imagination freak me out, I’m am OK. I’ve been telling myself I’m OK and I’m going to keep telling myself I’m going to be OK.
ETA: update: I texted DS, Ex went to the grocery store this morning for something not necessary. ( Passover appetizer ) why do we need an appetizer, it’s just 3 of us 🙄 like wth
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
Jun 26, 2014 14:43:10 GMT
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Post by scrappington on Apr 8, 2020 15:21:51 GMT
I'm still going to work every day. I need time away from this place as this is when I normally take some time off. It's extra stressful here right now. I'm hoping this four day weekend makes it better.
Sleeping has been an issue. And crazy dreams. All covid related. Not that people have it. Just it's discussed in the dreams. Just can't get away from it at all.
DH can visit his mom anymore unless she gets worse. So he's at home all day and he's not helping with things. Right now I am just putting my own feelings on the back shelf because he's going thru this with his mom etc. Not necessarily right but don't know what to do.
I think I have a thyroid issue and now is not the time to go to Dr. But explains a lot and my neck swells up in thyroid area and goes down. It's annoying.
I have so much hope for weekend. Four days off. Will make a nice meal for Easter for the two of us. I'd like to craft. I haven't been able to. No motivation and or will to get off the couch.
I haven't been ok in a few weeks. This week I'm finally just adjusting or accepting this situation.
I never knew all these years what anxiety was. I just thought that was normal feelings. Lol
People need to vent. And I'm happy to have this place to vent too. Blowing up at home right now is not good for anyone. There is no escape.
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Julie W
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,209
Jun 27, 2014 22:11:06 GMT
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Post by Julie W on Apr 8, 2020 15:26:39 GMT
I'd been doing okay until last night.
It's just me, DD14 and our two dogs. I worked from home before this, so used to working from home - but DD had been out for school and her circus arts training until now. She's been home for about 5 weeks now - one week for a teacher's strike and then the district shut down. Online learning just started this week.
I am an introvert and she is an extrovert. Since she hasn't been able to go to school or circus, she relies so much on me for her needed interaction. And it has mostly been fine but starting Monday I just felt drained and maybe a little annoyed. I told her yesterday I needed space and some time to recharge but it didn't happened as planned. To top it off this normally proactive hygenied girl has not been bathing or changing her clothes - and I told her last night she HAS to take a shower. Ugh. So I think she'll be in there a while and I can get a little break. Nope. She was freaking out about a spider, which she could easily kill. I told her she was on her own, and it made it worse because she made a big deal about it. She was naked in the hallway making noises etc for 5 minutes - it felt like an eternity. I yelled, went in my room of our very small house, and left her to deal with the dogs, shutting off the lights etc.
I feel a little bad but dang, I need some space!
Sorry to all those who are struggling.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Apr 8, 2020 15:32:27 GMT
I talk and text but what I miss is a face to face conversation with joy and laughter. I'm sorry you're struggling. I can only imagine how isolating it is for you. ((hugs)) Are you able to make face time calls? It's not in person face to face but it is really good to see who you're talking to. You can see a smile or a laugh or even a tear. Having the visual along with their voice really does help. I'm doing okay. I don't watch the news or read articles. All that did was stress me out so bad. I limit the information about the virus that I hear and take in. It doesn't change the state of things but it keeps my stress level way down. I'd suggest anyone to give it a try. Not seeing and hearing all of the details and worse case scenarios keeps my mind calm.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 17:40:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2020 15:32:44 GMT
Well, he passed away yesterday, peacefully in his sleep. I'm so sorry That's truly a lot to deal with. Sending you a huge hug.
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Post by myshelly on Apr 8, 2020 15:40:31 GMT
I’m not ok.
There, I said it.
My kids aren’t doing ok. I’ve always felt that my kids were flourishing and now it’s like I’m watching them wither on the vine.
I’m seriously questioning whether it’s even worth living if we have to live this way much longer. There’s no point.
I feel like I had planned the perfect life and now it’s been ripped away from me. I’m angry and sad about all the amazing things we’ve missed. I die a little inside every time I have to tell my kids some other event was cancelled. I’ll probably have to tell them soon that our Disney trip is cancelled and it will be the thing that breaks them completely.
I am fully in the let’s just go back to our lives and whatever happens, happens camp.
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Post by Karene on Apr 8, 2020 15:45:21 GMT
I'm doing okay but I'm having a hard time getting motivated to do anything around the house.
I'm laid off from work. I do school photography so that's the end of my season. Hopefully we can get started again in the fall. I'm eligible for unemployment so that's a help. My husband is working from home.Luckily they were set up a year ago. My son is still working as well since he works at a drug store. It's just me. I find that I spend a lot of time looking at the news on the internet. (We don't have cable or channels.) I'm able to get out for exercise which is good. I just wish the weather would warm up a bit more.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 17:40:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2020 15:46:00 GMT
Sorry to be such a Debby Downer. Please don't feel you need to apologise, I hope your therapy appointment and drive help you feel a little better. Sending everyone hugs
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