Ok, so I think we should have this out

No, I don't think it's that bad. I have hidden a few people, but not many.

I avoid the Politic posts most of the time.

It would not hurt for all of us to try harder to respect others.

I can only speak for myself of course, but no, I don't think it's really that bad. I haven't felt the need to block anyone, and I haven't felt like I've wanted to leave.

I don’t think so.  Like in my real life, I know the cast of characters.  Everyone is different and has different personalities and posting styles...and different lives and problems.   Unlike real life, I can ignore peas, pass by threads, or log off if I feel overwhelmed or upset by what I am reading or by how people are “acting”. 

I am not a well known pea or prolific pea 😉 but I stick around because Peas teach me, make me laugh, make me sad and cry, give me links to things that I love and would have never seen, and show me I am normal and I am weird.  They amaze me and make me shake my head.  Everything that a family and community does.  Do I agree with everyone and everything...not by a long shot.  But my unknown self still loves coming here to pass the time in good and bad.  So this is more of a thanks.

I don't know, I had a few people react strongly to some of my comments on a thread, so I deleted my comments because they were just stirring up drama. I then had several peas comment on my deletion of the comments - I felt like I was being called out personally, and when I replied that I deleted comments that did not add value to the thread, no one replied.

I've been sticking to the SB side more lately.

I have never felt bullied but then again, I’ve got a thick hide.

No, I don't think *all* the peas bully and abuse. I think there is a *group* of peas who use the anonymity of the internet to bully and abuse their chosen targets. I have a number of them blocked because they personally attacked me. Other ones I don't have blocked and I can see them attacking others. If you point out the behavior, as I did yesteday, then you become a target as well, as the bully's friends rush to their defense by attacking you. Seldom does anyone rush to the victim's defense, because people don't want to also become a target. If this were real life and one of your friends constantly called out and harassed one of your other friends, wouldn't you step up? When I see a pea saying something nasty and uncalled for, I like to read some of their other recent posts. In the past, have they been a "good neighbor"? Or are the majority of their posts insults, grammar policing, etc? Then I know if they are a regular pea who has had a bad day, or a pea who comes here to get their jollies by being mean to people.

And I'm not even talking about the political threads. Go ahead and rant and rave and scream and abuse in there to your hearts content. But when you go to a non political thread and make your answer about why the OP is a bad person, how can anyone think that is okay?

This is very subjective. I was on the old board for 13-14 years, so I have seen it all. There are definitely peas who are nasty and presumptive. I don't think there are a lot. I tend to stay away from anything that may get ugly, but at the same time I have tried to say kind things to lessen the blow. I have one pea blocked.

On the other hand, I have witnessed some of the kindest and most generous acts here! Last year I received several things for my classroom from the peas. It was beyond generous! I tend to try and find the positive in all things. Granted I don't always succeed, but I also don't feel it is always necessary to point out the worst in people.

I haven't ever wanted to leave. I think the positive far outweighs the negative. I choose to come here. I have met many very kind, generous and down right funny people here. I could make pages of items I've been introduced to (many of which I have purchased) and I have been exposed to many issues and ideas that I would never have encountered in my bland ordinary life. I appreciate that.

We all choose what we will take away from here. Some days I just come to play the games. Some days I come to read what's going on politically. Some days I read all the threads and write several responses, some days I pick and choose what I read and respond to and some days I just don't come.

I have a pretty thick skin so I don't tend to feel bullied. What I do feel sometimes here is left out. Like I am just a very odd duck that doesn't fit with the group. This feeling sometimes makes me feel like I want to leave. I have to sometimes remind myself of all of the wonderful friends I've made here. I have a handful of friends on Facebook. And I have several that I talk with off board. And I like the dinner thread group immensely. And the craft thread girls are my tribe too. Some days I come here and just read the dinner and craft threads and leave.

But to say that there hasn't been kind of a change in tone here is disingenuous. I posted a post on Facebook because I can see there and in my dealings with people in my every day life that some people really aren't handling this pandemic well. The shutdown really bothered people. It really upset their mental health. People who normally have no mental health issues were suddenly looking a whole lot like people with mental health issues. And I posted a post because I wanted them to know that I was here for them if they needed to talk. If they needed a friend. I have handled this pandemic really well. I feel pretty good. And I think the reason I and my friends who have well controlled mental illness have is because we have tools to deal with all these types of feelings. So I think people here need to take a look at themselves a bit and see if they aren't having trouble handling the pandemic and all the social justice things going on. I have compassion for that.

And I'd really have a lot more respect for people if 1) we called it out when someone has been tough and 2) that person did a little introspection into why they were so harsh. I get the why. I understand it. I just wish people would own it a little bit more. Show a little more of their humanity and humility.

But to say the state of the world isn't impacting us here while simultaneously saying the world's gone mad? Well it's just completely stupid not to admit that these things have impacted you as well. And the impact goes deeper than my hair is now gray or my wedding is cancelled.

I want all of us to talk to each other on a deeper level.

It’s not that bad. There are occasional times when people are out of line - and people speak out against the offender when that’s the case - but for the most part, it’s typical interaction. That doesn’t meant everyone agrees or is always polite, but that’s real life. There are some expectations here about how women “should” interact that I think are problematic.

For once, I'm happy to say that I'm not one of the mean ones!

I think if we are saying that women should always be polite and demure or something is most likely out of line. But I know for me, when I post here, I post to all of you in the same words and tones I would use with my real life friends. It's not always rainbows and unicorns. It is real. And I would never suggest someone be fake. But part of being real is being vulnerable. And part of being real is treating people online the same exact way you would to their face. And that's treating someone with respect.

I've posted on the other threads about people saying the board has changed. I never seem to get a responses to my posts. So in a way I feel like jeremysgirl. I think this board is much gentler, much kinder then the old board. Maybe because our group is smaller and we know each a bit better? I've tried to make comments on threads where people get handslapped, if appropriate. I have tried to be kinder. I got handslapped on a nascar thread where I mentioned a rumor..a RUMOR. I can't remember the exact words, but that I was cont'ing a racial thought. That wasn't my intent. My intent was to talk about all the rumors and possibilities. Things that are done on a message board. When you get handslapped like that you sometimes don't even want to post on here. I think political threads are very touchy these days. I have learned so much on here. made many friends. I don't think it's as bad as some Ps thing. Now the old days over at the original Pod..oooh my!

I love this about you girl.  I love your honest to the heart posts.  I love how you knew when you needed help and went and got it.  That is very hard for some people. 

I think this board is a lot nicer and more supportive than the original version.

However, when you’re at the bottom of a pile-on and then unfounded rumours about you start being carried into other discussions it’s quite difficult and incredibly personally hurtful. I understand feeling like this isn’t a healthy and supportive environment when experiencing that kind of treatment.