PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,840
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Nov 21, 2021 11:05:33 GMT
Definitely ask around for a good lawyer that someone used or watched in action from the other side.
A friend recommended a lawyer her step son was up Against in his divorce. Even though it was the "other side" she was impressed and told me.
It worked as my ex asked how I got that lawyer as his was kind of "afraid" of mine. Put the fear in him. Made me extra happy with my choice.
Ask around, please
And contact the best
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Nov 21, 2021 13:24:07 GMT
You are not an idiot. I say this kindly.... You need to stop being nice and stop worrying about his feelings. STOP BEING NICE! STOP HAVING EXCUSES AND REASONS WHY it has to be done this way or that way. GET AN ATTORNEY!! DO IT YOUR WAY!! Each day that you don't get an Attorney, is another day that you concede to him and doing it his way. He is putting the "we are in a rough spot spin on things", which is not the truth. HE cheated. Truth needs to be told. Maybe you need his money to make your financial ends meet, but those funds shouldn't currently be coming from "he is contributing". The funds you need, should be coming from him via court ordered separation alimony and future divorce alimony. You're lack of getting the ball rolling, is letting him be in control. You are being way to nice. You are letting him have his way. You are letting him control things. Failure to have retain an attorney. Why are you procrastinating?? Sharing a bed?? No! He cheated, he can move to the guest room, couch, bunk in with one of the kids. It is not my intention to be rude, just trying to get you see that you are not currently doing anything to advocate for yourself. You are not standing up for yourself. I think you are so focused on keeping your house, and doing everything to not upset that plan, that you're missing the bigger picture. He is going to screw you over, if you don't stand up for yourself. You are too focused on being nice and not causing any upset, so you get the house. GET AN ATTORNEY, IMMEDIATELY! Edited to add.....If his Parents have ignored you and haven't spoken a word to you, then guaranteed he is presenting you forth to his Parents as >> "it's all her fault". I suspect that the OP isn't doing any of the things that you mentioned because the bottom line is that those are the very LAST things she wants to do. She wanted her marriage to continue. She wanted her children to be unscathed by a separation that she never wanted. She wants to continue to love the man she married and his parents, etc. But I also think you are spot-on in your assessment of what she must do now that these cards have been played. OP, finding reasons why you can't do any of the things ScrappinMyLife suggested makes perfect sense -- because taking those steps makes it seem real. But it's already real, and you cannot stay in that headspace. You have to take the steps ASAP to protect yourself and your future. As tired and weak and depressed as you may feel, you have to stand up for yourself without excuses. If you have a community FB board, ask the women in your community to recommend an attorney who respects and strongly represents women in divorces. As the DD of an attorney who spent his career fighting for women, I can assure you those in the community know who that person is and even more importantly, who it isn't. If you have to say you're asking for a friend to get the information, do that. And if anyone says anything, I would just say, "I am asking for a friend, because I am committed to being my own best friend and making sure I have the best possible representation." I know how hard this must be for you. But he's taking care of himself. And you must be the one to take care of you. I think you're both spot on. I can only imagine how terrifying it must be to find yourself in this place. I know it would take some time for me to get my footing. I just wanted to reach out to support you; the whole thing sucks. Maybe you can make a list of things you need to get done and try to check one thing off every day, baby steps! ((HUGS)) |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 9:06:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2021 13:29:20 GMT
freecharlie - how are you today? Hope you're doing better.
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 21, 2021 13:45:59 GMT
freecharlie - how are you today? Hope you're doing better. not really. Been up since 4 trying to work things through in my head. I'm probably going to file, but I'm wondering about filing legal separation first. It allows me to stay on his health insurance until we pivot it to divorce and the seems palatable to me right now. I contacted one more lawyer to have a consult with, so that makes two more this week. Then I will pick and pay the retainer |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 9:06:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2021 13:47:52 GMT
I contacted one more lawyer to have a consult with, so that makes two more this week. Then I will pick and pay the retainer That's great. Progress is good. We're all pulling for you. |
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 21, 2021 14:08:04 GMT
I can't kick him out. He refuses and I am not leaving my bedroom I'm posting before reading all the responses, but it's time to lawyer up. He cannot have everything his way. I am sorry your in-laws are turning on you. I agree with others, who knows what he has told them. I know my DS holds more responsibility for his divorce than our ex DDIL. We still love her and treat her like our own. |
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 21, 2021 14:09:43 GMT
Do the in-laws know about everything? They may think by ignoring the elephant in the room it will keep things more stable for your children. Still, how very hurtful. I just want to say that even though he has all these plans with the supposed love of his life, it is highly unlikely that will actually all pan out like he has planned. Try not to focus on his plans to live without you and what the other lady has that you don’t, etc. It is too painful and not helpful. Big hugs to you, the peas are here for you. See? That's bullshit. He asked you for a divorce. Sit down and tell the kids the truth. They are old enough and will need to handle it eventually. |
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Nov 21, 2021 14:36:20 GMT
While he’s at breakfast, move all his shit to a spare room and let him set up camp tgere. Or you take a room and redo it to your liking and move over! Carve out YOUR space.
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 21, 2021 15:06:39 GMT
I would be so pissed. Ugh. Feel so bad for you.
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Post by hop2 on Nov 21, 2021 15:09:57 GMT
Last night, my inlaws of 20 years didn't even acknowledge my existence. I can't begin to explain how deeply that cut. And this morning I wake up to h snoring and know that my kids are going out to breakfast with all of them and I am not. He gets the life he wants and I get all these emotions and sadness and uncertainty. I’m so sorry, I really am. Hugs |
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Post by hop2 on Nov 21, 2021 15:36:25 GMT
Didn’t you say you recently had some estate planning done? If so, call that attorney and ask if they could give you any names. Attorneys know who the fuks are and who to steer clear of…even if they’re in another field of law. Also, ask any friends if they know of a great divorce attorney. If they don’t have one they likely have a friend that had one. I got my shark from a referral from my estate planning attorney who also ended up giving me a job. My friends know what a fab attorney and my friends have told their friends. Therapy, both alone and with the dick is important, but finding a great attorney is equally important. You’re not looking out for him or making it easy on him. the estate one came through his legal insurance...something I didn't bother to get because we got it through HIS employer (this is a common theme). I'm an idiot NO NO NO NO NO Do NOT wallow in self blame this is NOT your fault. Do NOT accept his false narrative. DO NOT! You were a loving, trusting, loyal, partner who was all %100 in on your combined partnership, your relationship. And these things you keep pointing out are not proof of your being stupid, they are proof of the fact that you were ALL IN, you weren’t hedging your bets, you weren’t holding back for plan B, you were all in on that partnership, that relationship. That is NOT stupid. That is why the state of your marriage is NOT your doing but HIS. Do not accept his gaslighting - when you find that shark have them go after your part of everything your entitled to. Everything! If you really somehow end up working it out ( which after the inlaws thing I don’t see that being easy. WTF did he lie about to them about you to create that reaction, how does that even happen? ) your going to have to move forward not being %100 in for a bit. Your going to have to hedge your bets, and make arrangements to protect yourself until you can ever feel secure enough to extend that kind of massive trust again. You weren’t stupid, you were trusting. HE broke that trust. Shovel that pile right back at him |
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Nov 21, 2021 15:37:12 GMT
Two things: Sharing a bed...we don't touch. He is on one side, I am on the other. No man's land is in between. Re: apartment- there aren't any around here. Plus I have an electric car and need to plug in. And an apartment will cost almost as much as my mortgage. Get into one of those spare rooms! Make one you’re own bedroom! |
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 21, 2021 15:41:06 GMT
Two things: Sharing a bed...we don't touch. He is on one side, I am on the other. No man's land is in between. Re: apartment- there aren't any around here. Plus I have an electric car and need to plug in. And an apartment will cost almost as much as my mortgage. Get into one of those spare rooms! Make one you’re own bedroom! I know this sounds great, but I think HE should move to another room. I am not moving. I did not do this. This is my room, my bed,my house. He can go or I will get used to it, but I will not leave my room |
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Post by hopemax on Nov 21, 2021 16:00:05 GMT
I suspect that the OP isn't doing any of the things that you mentioned because the bottom line is that those are the very LAST things she wants to do. She wanted her marriage to continue. She wanted her children to be unscathed by a separation that she never wanted. She wants to continue to love the man she married and his parents, etc. But I also think you are spot-on in your assessment of what she must do now that these cards have been played. OP, finding reasons why you can't do any of the things ScrappinMyLife suggested makes perfect sense -- because taking those steps makes it seem real. But it's already real, and you cannot stay in that headspace. You have to take the steps ASAP to protect yourself and your future. As tired and weak and depressed as you may feel, you have to stand up for yourself without excuses. If you have a community FB board, ask the women in your community to recommend an attorney who respects and strongly represents women in divorces. As the DD of an attorney who spent his career fighting for women, I can assure you those in the community know who that person is and even more importantly, who it isn't. If you have to say you're asking for a friend to get the information, do that. And if anyone says anything, I would just say, "I am asking for a friend, because I am committed to being my own best friend and making sure I have the best possible representation." I know how hard this must be for you. But he's taking care of himself. And you must be the one to take care of you. My observation is that OP doesn't really think he is. He is certainly doing what he *thinks* he needs to do. But as mentioned, being on the COVID-front lines in a presumably unfriendly area (I live down the road, I know OP has referenced her county) he might be suffering a real trauma. Maybe, he never had healthy coping mechanisms before, but everything that's happened it all blew up. But here's the thing, because of his decision it is no longer OPs responsibility to be "first in line" to make sure he's really okay. That's another reason I mentioned that if it were me, I would be having a brief, factual conversation with the in-laws. They were the last people, prior to OP to be "first in line" for making sure DH was really okay, and giving them the opportunity to step back into that role could allow OP to feel better about stepping away from what she still thinks is kinda hers. They could be the head burying type, but at she will have tried. If there is more going on here, being tentative and not wanting to flip over stones, won't stop it. Only his self-awareness, counseling, and possibly involvement from other concerned parties like his parents will. Sometimes a kind way to help someone is letting them walk their chosen path and failing on their own terms. And if circumstances warrant it, being around to help pick up the pieces. But for her, that option is very clouded. I would not recommend thinking that she might. Assume its over. Try not to be overly petty, and retaliatory just in case BUT do all the proper things as mentioned to protect herself. He chose this, so he should be the one to leave the bedroom. That's how I would frame it. With limited information, I am concerned that the DH is invested and wants the house and so doesn't want to leave either to start the trend of who is the least interested party. |
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456 
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Post by sassyangel on Nov 21, 2021 16:07:36 GMT
I suspect that the OP isn't doing any of the things that you mentioned because the bottom line is that those are the very LAST things she wants to do. She wanted her marriage to continue. She wanted her children to be unscathed by a separation that she never wanted. She wants to continue to love the man she married and his parents, etc. But I also think you are spot-on in your assessment of what she must do now that these cards have been played. OP, finding reasons why you can't do any of the things ScrappinMyLife suggested makes perfect sense -- because taking those steps makes it seem real. But it's already real, and you cannot stay in that headspace. You have to take the steps ASAP to protect yourself and your future. As tired and weak and depressed as you may feel, you have to stand up for yourself without excuses. If you have a community FB board, ask the women in your community to recommend an attorney who respects and strongly represents women in divorces. As the DD of an attorney who spent his career fighting for women, I can assure you those in the community know who that person is and even more importantly, who it isn't. If you have to say you're asking for a friend to get the information, do that. And if anyone says anything, I would just say, "I am asking for a friend, because I am committed to being my own best friend and making sure I have the best possible representation." I know how hard this must be for you. But he's taking care of himself. And you must be the one to take care of you. My observation is that OP doesn't really think he is. He is certainly doing what he *thinks* he needs to do. But as mentioned, being on the COVID-front lines in a presumably unfriendly area (I live down the road, I know OP was referenced her county) he might be suffering a real trauma. Maybe, he never had healthy coping mechanisms before, but everything that's happened it all blew up. But here's the thing, because of his decision it is no longer OPs responsibility to be "first in line" to make sure he's really okay. That's another reason I mentioned that if it were me, I would be having a brief, factual conversation with the in-laws. They were the last people, prior to OP to be "first in line" for making sure DH was really okay, and giving them the opportunity to step back into that role could allow OP to feel better about stepping away from what she still thinks is kinda hers. They could be the head burying type, but at she will have tried. If there is more going on here, being tentative and not wanting to flip over stones, won't stop it. Only his self-awareness, counseling, and possibly involvement from other concerned parties like his parents will. Sometimes a kind way to help someone is letting them walk their chosen path and failing on their own terms. And if circumstances warrant it, being around to help pick up the pieces. But for her, that option is very clouded. I would not recommend thinking that she might. Assume its over. Try not to be overly petty, and retaliatory just in case BUT do all the proper things as mentioned to protect herself. He chose this, so he should be the one to leave the bedroom. That's how I would frame it. With limited information, I am concerned that the DH is invested and wants the house and so doesn't want to leave either to start the trend of who is the least interested party. Yes, his behavior indicates to me that there *might* be a protracted fight of animosity to keep the house. 🥴😞 |
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Post by hopemax on Nov 21, 2021 16:09:00 GMT
Get into one of those spare rooms! Make one you’re own bedroom! I know this sounds great, but I think HE should move to another room. I am not moving. I did not do this. This is my room, my bed,my house. He can go or I will get used to it, but I will not leave my room So this may be kinda silly, but would get the point across. Does he have a sleeping bag, you could throw on the floor? Like you, I believe he chose this. I would bluntly ask which other women he shares a bed with, when he doesn't love them anymore. And keep the focus on "You chose this." Why does he get to be the one to stay. I think how he reacts, could also be revealing about what his plans were for how this would unfold. But that is something you NEED to know now. I hope he didn't really have a plan, just a fantasy where it's easy to skip over details. So his reactions are more "now what?" and less "this is mine." |
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Post by Skellinton on Nov 21, 2021 16:12:54 GMT
Get into one of those spare rooms! Make one you’re own bedroom! I know this sounds great, but I think HE should move to another room. I am not moving. I did not do this. This is my room, my bed,my house. He can go or I will get used to it, but I will not leave my room I completely validate that he should move to another room. I completely validate that he is 100% to blame for this situation. You do not deserve what is happening to you. You did not and do not choose this. He is an asshole. He absolutely should be moving out of the bedroom, but the simple fact is he won’t. I have not been in your shoes, but I have been in unhealthy relationships before with very significant others. It is not healthy for you physically (lack of sleep), mentally or emotionally to contain to share a bed with him. It does not matter if there is a brick wall in the middle of the bed, it is not healthy for YOU to be there with him. He has shown what a selfish asshole he is, I imagine he is probably getting some sick and perverted sense of power or pleasure out of you staying in the room and his refusal to move out. Please, don’t let him have that power over you. I know it sucks, I know it is unfair, I know you haven’t given up on him or your marriage. I understand. I truly do. But, please, for your sake let go of the bedroom. You are so fortunate to have another space in your house to retreat to, make it your own. Take whatever the hell you want out of the bedroom and put it in YOUR room. Take things from around the house you love and put them in there. Participate in some reasonable retail therapy. Make it a sanctuary, but, please, let go of the idea of the bedroom being yours. Don’t let him continue to manipulate you. It is in your best interest and probably the best interest of your kids and your marriage to do this. By staying in the room with him he knows he can live his fantasy of being the good guy and of pretending nothing is wrong. I can pretty much guarantee you that he will not put any effort into fixing things as long as you are sleeping in the same room with him and providing him the appearance of everything being ok that he so desperately desires. It does not matter to him how much you argue or discuss divorce or separation or anything else as long as you continue to share the bedroom with him. |
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rgibson
Full Member
Posts: 467
Apr 26, 2021 22:49:21 GMT
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Post by rgibson on Nov 21, 2021 16:15:05 GMT
know this sounds great, but I think HE should move to another room. I am not moving. I did not do this. This is my room, my bed,my house. He can go or I will get used to it, but I will not leave my room I agree he should be the one to move but it sounds like he is a lot like my narcistic, selfish ass of an ex and he will not do anything at all to make it easy for you. Oh, he'll say all the right words but they are just to keep you quiet. Move your bed, move your things and make a peaceful place for yourself. It doesn't seem fair, it pissed me off when I was doing it but oh boy, did I love having my own space! I still couldn't eat or sleep for weeks but at least I had a calm and quiet dick-free place.  |
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,366
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Nov 21, 2021 16:15:38 GMT
I know this sounds great, but I think HE should move to another room. I am not moving. I did not do this. This is my room, my bed,my house. He can go or I will get used to it, but I will not leave my room I completely validate that he should move to another room. I completely validate that he is 100% to blame for this situation. You do not deserve what is happening to you. You did not and do not choose this. He is an asshole. He absolutely should be moving out of the bedroom, but the simple fact is he won’t. I have not been in your shoes, but I have been in unhealthy relationships before with very significant others. It is not healthy for you physically (lack of sleep), mentally or emotionally to contain to share a bed with him. It does not matter if there is a brick wall in the middle of the bed, it is not healthy for YOU to be there with him. He has shown what a selfish asshole he is, I imagine he is probably getting some sick and perverted sense of power or pleasure out of you staying in the room and his refusal to move out. Please, don’t let him have that power over you. I know it sucks, I know it is unfair, I know you haven’t given up on him or your marriage. I understand. I truly do. But, please, for your sake let go of the bedroom. You are so fortunate to have another space in your house to retreat to, make it your own. Take whatever the hell you want out of the bedroom and put it in YOUR room. Take things from around the house you love and put them in there. Participate in some reasonable retail therapy. Make it a sanctuary, but, please, let go of the idea of the bedroom being yours. Don’t let him continue to manipulate you. It is in your best interest and probably the best interest of your kids and your marriage to do this. By staying in the room with him he knows he can live his fantasy of being the good guy and of pretending nothing is wrong. I can pretty much guarantee you that he will not put any effort into fixing things as long as you are sleeping in the same room with him and providing him the appearance of everything being ok that he so desperately desires. It does not matter to him how much you argue or discuss divorce or separation or anything else as long as you continue to share the bedroom with him. Yes! This is exactly what I’ve been thinking, but can’t articulate this well. |
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Post by Bridget in MD on Nov 21, 2021 16:20:52 GMT
Eta - I just saw you have 2 extra rooms - I would turn one into my own room - paint it and buy some nice furniture and bedding. My friend did that when she was having some issues and it was absolutely the best thing for her - she loved it. I would much rather have a fresh, new ME space than my maritial bedroom. He can have the old crap (even if it is nice). I would move into the new room pronto. and have a lock on the door. ETA: I just read more of your responses and in that case, I would move his shit to one of the other rooms while he is at breakfast today. |
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Post by lisacharlotte on Nov 21, 2021 16:39:50 GMT
There is so much good advice and perspective here. You need to stop focusing on the things that aren’t going to help. Forget the bedroom and the house. If you cannot afford a apartment, you are not going to be able to afford the house. You need to get a lawyer. Dragging your feet over the important stuff is only going to hurt you in the end. If the divorce never goes through, I hope you restart your marriage as a full partner. I don’t get the impression that is the way it is now. My husband has always made 2-3x what I make. However, we have structured our finances so that we are equal partners, even if we divorced. I’m sorry you are going through this, I fully understand your wish to just hide until it goes away. You do not have that luxury. Do you have a more assertive friend that can help you navigate this? Typically that would be your lawyer, but you need a big push now.
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luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,687
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
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Post by luckyjune on Nov 21, 2021 16:40:12 GMT
I know this sounds great, but I think HE should move to another room. I am not moving. I did not do this. This is my room, my bed,my house. He can go or I will get used to it, but I will not leave my room I completely validate that he should move to another room. I completely validate that he is 100% to blame for this situation. You do not deserve what is happening to you. You did not and do not choose this. He is an asshole. He absolutely should be moving out of the bedroom, but the simple fact is he won’t. I have not been in your shoes, but I have been in unhealthy relationships before with very significant others. It is not healthy for you physically (lack of sleep), mentally or emotionally to contain to share a bed with him. It does not matter if there is a brick wall in the middle of the bed, it is not healthy for YOU to be there with him. He has shown what a selfish asshole he is, I imagine he is probably getting some sick and perverted sense of power or pleasure out of you staying in the room and his refusal to move out. Please, don’t let him have that power over you. I know it sucks, I know it is unfair, I know you haven’t given up on him or your marriage. I understand. I truly do. But, please, for your sake let go of the bedroom. You are so fortunate to have another space in your house to retreat to, make it your own. Take whatever the hell you want out of the bedroom and put it in YOUR room. Take things from around the house you love and put them in there. Participate in some reasonable retail therapy. Make it a sanctuary, but, please, let go of the idea of the bedroom being yours. Don’t let him continue to manipulate you. It is in your best interest and probably the best interest of your kids and your marriage to do this. By staying in the room with him he knows he can live his fantasy of being the good guy and of pretending nothing is wrong. I can pretty much guarantee you that he will not put any effort into fixing things as long as you are sleeping in the same room with him and providing him the appearance of everything being ok that he so desperately desires. It does not matter to him how much you argue or discuss divorce or separation or anything else as long as you continue to share the bedroom with him. Agreeing with this, 1000 times! With you staying in the room, he gets to hide behind the cover of "we're just in a rough patch" until he's ready to make his move and walk away. Do not make this easy for him. Make it uncomfortable. Make it so he has to be honest with himself, you, and your friends and family. He does not deserve to be comfortable in this situation. |
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,803
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Nov 21, 2021 16:42:38 GMT
Wow, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
There's a lot of shit going on around your marital bed. You really need to discuss this with your therapist. It's not healthy. He chose to leave the symbolic marital bed, but he won't get out of the literal marital bed.
Honestly, I'd get rid of your current bed -- send it to the dump. There's a symbol for him.
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 21, 2021 16:52:31 GMT
My post was very aggressive and I wish I had toned it down, but I am so angry at your husband and the way he is treating you. In reality, you need your lawyer to advise you. Since I want the best for you I am advising you to fight for yourself. Just know that you are worthy of respect and love. You've done nothing wrong and you will have a happy life.
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Post by tinydogmafia on Nov 21, 2021 16:57:26 GMT
I know I already posted here, but reading your replies, I see that you are in a serious power struggle for that bedroom.
That's what he wants. He wants to see you fighting to stay in that bed, because it takes all of the pressure off him and makes you look crazy. I guarantee you that he's telling his parents and side piece how unhinged you are right now, and that you're refusing to leave the bedroom, making things difficult, won't stop nagging him, forcing therapy, etc., etc., etc.
I think many of us are on the same page here and I hope you can feel our collective strength pulling you up and out of the black space you are in right now. You must change this narrative. Especially if you want him back. The less attention you give him, the more confident you are, the more he's going to see how ok you'll be without him. Right now he only sees you as dependent and weak, and lets be honest, that's not an attractive look for any of us.
Ask me how I know. I've been exactly where you are. And once I realized what picture he was painting of ME, when he was the one sticking his dick in his midlife crisis, well... I got mad and I got my ass in gear. You will too. Hang in there.
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Post by juanita on Nov 21, 2021 17:23:55 GMT
Get into one of those spare rooms! Make one you’re own bedroom! I know this sounds great, but I think HE should move to another room. I am not moving. I did not do this. This is my room, my bed,my house. He can go or I will get used to it, but I will not leave my room I know you don't want to leave all that but you must! Move "your" bed to a spare room and let him figure out a sleeping arrangement. Clearly I would be a very bitter person if I was in this situation because I would have him out of the bed I was sleeping in the day he announce he didn't love me anymore. Hugs |
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Nov 21, 2021 17:31:34 GMT
I spent last night with a friend who is struggling. Because I know her and love her, I could tell when I needed to push and when I needed to stop.
I’m guessing FC is feeling pretty beat up right now and has made it clear she wants to stay in her bed. My response earlier in the thread was strong and a lot of people feel the same way, but we probably need to take our focus off that for now.
FC, you’re making good progress finding an attorney. One step at a time. (((HUGS)))
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Post by cindyupnorth on Nov 21, 2021 17:41:16 GMT
Ok. you don't want to leave your bedroom. Then move him out. Take his pillows and all his clothes, or dresser and move them. When he asks what's going on, I would ask him. does your girl friend know you are still sleeping in the same bed as me? let's call her up. Put it on him. And yes, I would take a pic of him in your bed. because again. I'm petty like that. He's telling people all sorts of stories. Don't believe a word he says. Does her dh even know what's going on? I've shared what happened in my marriage, and working it out. I know everyone else has advised not to call her or him, but I did. And it set things straight I tell ya.
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Post by SAHM wannabe on Nov 21, 2021 20:32:10 GMT
You are strong. You have a world of support surrounding you. Keep moving forward, and know the push you’re hearing from the peas comes with a lot of love.
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Post by epeanymous on Nov 21, 2021 20:37:13 GMT
I am so sorry. He sucks.
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