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Post by wordfish on Apr 13, 2024 22:28:59 GMT
Also. Make a timeline.Add this latest thing to it.
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Post by hop2 on Apr 14, 2024 13:58:50 GMT
mom thank you for your kind words. I was doing alright until yesterday. It just completely hit me and knocked me down. I was in no mood to respond to anything really. This time is hard for me. And mother's day last year I totally lost my shit. I'll be on vacation for mother's day this year so I was hoping that might help. Hugs I am sorry your having a difficult time.
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Post by hop2 on Apr 14, 2024 14:00:04 GMT
Also. Make a timeline.Add this latest thing to it. While your correct, and it’s probably necessary, it sucks that that will add work to jeremysgirl day and that just sucks
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Post by Bridget in MD on Apr 14, 2024 14:19:10 GMT
Sorry. Fireguard definition: A metal screen placed in front of an open fireplace to catch sparks. So a fireguard made of chocolate is useless because it will melt from the heat of the fire. I totally read this as a chocolate LIFEGUARD and well. honestly, the translation works just the same
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 14, 2024 18:05:58 GMT
You sound like a really awesome supervisor wordfish. Can I switch you for my boss? What do you know about finance?
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Post by wordfish on Apr 14, 2024 18:14:26 GMT
You sound like a really awesome supervisor wordfish . Can I switch you for my boss? What do you know about finance? Ha thank you very much; you are very kind. I worry a lot that I will let my team down, as I really only want to manage things and not people. I know pretty much zip about finance except my parlor trick of calculating bond rates that I learned in MBA school, which, come to think of it, I've already forgotten how to do. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hopefully, you'll get to the other side soon. One thing about all of this: You'll have learned a lot about what not to do when you find yourself in a managerial role. I'm sure you will never forget how all of this affected you.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,277
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Apr 14, 2024 20:00:12 GMT
mom thank you for your kind words. I was doing alright until yesterday. It just completely hit me and knocked me down. I was in no mood to respond to anything really. This time is hard for me. And mother's day last year I totally lost my shit. I'll be on vacation for mother's day this year so I was hoping that might help. I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't. It gets different, but even 20 years later, I still lose my shit. I have figured out for me that I *need* to lose my shit about 2-3 days before an anniversary or birthday so that I can let the grief go. Then on the actual day, I am ok. Honestly, it's predictable for me now so much that even DH knows that the actual days aren't what knock my breath away, but the day or two before. Anywho, take care of yourself. I lost my husband, not a child, but there is so much truth in your words. You reflected my experience almost exactly as I would describe it myself. Five years later I still tell people "It sucks." Because that is the truth. It doesn’t get better, it gets different; you just get better at handling it - most of the time. And yes, the days leading up to the significant ones are often the hardest. “They” say the body remembers even when the mind doesn’t. Sometimes when I’m feeling extra emotional or on the verge of tears more often I stop and ask myself if there is some date coming that is a hard one to handle. The anticipation can be worse than the actual day/event.
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Post by gillyp on May 1, 2024 14:09:20 GMT
Dare I ask if there is any progress in any way? I know you might have been out of action with your hand, which I hope is doing well.
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 1, 2024 14:20:48 GMT
gillyp I was out most of last week. I worked for 2 hours on Thursday and 2 hours on Friday. I can't type on my phone well at all, but my computer keyboard I can make do with 9 fingers without hurting my thumb so there's that. But, there is was something that dropped last week that we don't know when exactly it will happen. But there is a report I normally do that needs to be done as soon as possible following. When I got online Thursday, I noticed that the thing we were waiting on had dropped and I looked to see if any work had been done on my report. Thursday morning, nothing had been started. So I reached out to my boss's secretary and I scheduled a meeting with him for this coming Thursday (he was on vacation through Wednesday). I was going to complain hard because this would have involved a whole lot of typing that would be difficult for me to do. So after she scheduled, I put it out of my mind and just figured I would deal with doing it on Monday. When I came in Monday morning, miracle of all miracles, she had done it. I nearly fell off my chair. I have no idea if she was told to or if she just did it out of the goodness of her heart, but I'm trying not to care about the answer to that question and just be thankful it was done. I've been working with that counselor and I'm trying hard to just do my job, nothing more and let the rest go. I've done all I can and I'm just letting the chips fall where they may and trying not to get stressed over it.
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,296
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on May 1, 2024 14:26:41 GMT
jeremysgirl good for you on changing your mindset. ❤️
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Post by gillyp on May 1, 2024 14:42:29 GMT
So it sounds like things aren't any worse and she has actually helped YOU for a change. I hope things stay on an even keel until you can make any necessary decisions.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on May 1, 2024 14:57:41 GMT
I certainly hope she has seen the light!!
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Post by lg on May 4, 2024 5:05:57 GMT
Maybe the taste of her own medicine worked wonders (ie you could not cover for her and therefore it scared her to being a proper employee again!)
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Post by bbkeef on May 15, 2024 17:16:42 GMT
I feel like we need an update. Any news jeremysgirl
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Post by Bridget in MD on May 15, 2024 17:37:12 GMT
I feel like we need an update. Any news jeremysgirl I think she's been on vacation! and I think she had hand surgery so I am sure if there was an update, she would post!
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 23, 2024 11:40:52 GMT
So picking up where I left off...
I had scheduled that meeting with my boss. Then I cancelled it when I saw she had done that report. Well my boss, even though he was on vacation did see the meeting appear and disappear from his schedule. So he called me. I explained to him why I had scheduled that meeting and since the report had been done, I cancelled it. He told me that he did instruct her to do it as the head office could not wait until I came back and limped through it with my bad hand. Then he asked me if things have gotten better. I explained to him that something had changed and she was being responsive enough to her offices that they were no longer contacting me. So I was pleased with that resolution. However, I told him that it was going to take time for me to see full changes and have faith that the changes were going to stick. I stated that her performance had picked up several times and then fallen right off again over the past year and a half, so I was not going to sit securely believing changes were going to stick. And then he said something to the effect of...he didn't think it had really been as bad as I was making it out to be and that it was more a matter of miscommunication. W.T.F. I could immediately feel my anger rising. I told him that no that wasn't the case that it was miscommunication, I told him she was mostly not responsive to any communication from me or anyone else. And then I told him that I had a meeting and needed to go.
Last week I was on vacation. That report that I normally do semi-annually is due June 1st. The big boss's secretary reached out while I was on vacation and poked them about having it done so it could be reviewed before its due date. I will explain that I did this report December 2022 correctly. I did the report for the June 2023 due date and submitted it to boss for review. He never reviewed it and the date it was due, I was off and he was scrambling to find something to submit. He pulled a canned report that was not applicable to the perimeters of the report and submitted it. No one questioned it. When I came back, I questioned it and was exasperated that all the work I did was for naught. When December rolled around, I did not do the report. And then I reminded him what happened in June and said that if a canned report from our system was acceptable, then I was not going to the trouble to put together the actual report. He inquired with his boss and we were told that we needed to provide the full report. So I put it together as it should have been in the first place.
So last week they got a reminder about it. Again, my boss pulled that canned report. He sent it to the three of us, her, me, assistant director and asked if everything looked OK. She responded that it was great. I saw this chain of emails on Monday morning when I logged back in after vacation and I sent an email, again, reminding them of the history with this report and that what he was trying to submit wasn't acceptable. No one responded until Tuesday afternoon. It was at that point, she emailed me to inquire whether I was working on it. I told her no. I told her I did not receive any further communication about it and frankly, returning from vacation, I had catch up to do this week, plus like 20 meetings and I simply would not have time, no matter what he decided. I left it at that.
Several hours later, we had a staff meeting, the four of us. In the meeting, they asked me how to do the report. (Smack head) I had to explain to them all the ins and outs of how to manually prepare this report when they should have known how to find the information themselves. This was at 2pm on Tuesday. She told my boss that he would have the report by evening time. I nearly LOL knowing that this was going to be impossible. But OK. I then said I appreciated them doing the report because I had a lot of work and a lot of meetings having returned from a week off and get this, she says, if you need help, I'm willing to help you! I nearly rolled my eyes.
On Monday there was an email from our accounting staff to the two of us requesting our assistance with something we do annually. I responded to them that I would get the information to them as soon as possible. She replied to the group telling me not only to do it, but how to do it. This is not the first time this has happened. The level of condescension she talks with is palpable. Well, I've been working with that counselor and one of the things I have worked on with her is the way my coworker talks to me. So I sent my coworker a message telling her that I found the way she talked to me to be unacceptable. That she had no business instructing me what to do or how to do it in general, let alone in a group message. And then I forwarded it to my boss and the assistant director with one sentence stating that I was no longer going to allow her to instruct and embarrass me. That got his attention.
He sent a simple one sentence response that said, we are going to talk about this. And then shortly thereafter, his secretary sent through a meeting notice for this afternoon. This all happened before the staff meeting on Tuesday and during that meeting she questioned why we needed to have a meeting and why he scheduled it for in person. Why couldn't she (she hasn't been in the office in 4 years) just log in from home. He responded that he scheduled this meeting specifically to be in person and there would be no exceptions to this.
I set up a meeting yesterday morning with my counselor and discussed all of this and she gave me good feedback on how to handle what is likely to arise during this meeting. She walked me through what should be my whole approach. I barely slept last night because I am so on edge about it. But I rescheduled the one meeting I had following this one so when it is over, I can leave the building.
I'll update after the meeting.
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Post by cakediva on May 23, 2024 11:50:31 GMT
HUGS
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 23, 2024 12:34:04 GMT
Damn. We knew she was a piece of work, but wow. She really is the gift that keeps on giving. 🙄
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on May 23, 2024 14:07:18 GMT
The drama is never ending with the co-workers! I will be thinking of you and sending good thoughts this afternoon. You've got this though!
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Post by hop2 on May 23, 2024 14:32:29 GMT
Hugs
That all sucks
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Post by mikklynn on May 23, 2024 15:08:23 GMT
Ugh, what a nightmare. I'm hoping they see your side of the situation.
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Post by scrapmaven on May 23, 2024 15:29:59 GMT
I hope that they don't think that they need to find a way to get you to shake hands and be buddies w/your very flaky and inept colleague. I'm thinking of you. Stand your ground. She's awful.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on May 23, 2024 15:52:17 GMT
Hope the meeting goes well this afternoon,!!!
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on May 23, 2024 16:10:22 GMT
Thinking and praying for a positive outcome for today's meeting. Sounds like he has had enough of her bs and wants a face to face meeting with her.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,639
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on May 23, 2024 16:27:20 GMT
Stand your ground and give 'em every thing you got. I'm beyond peeved for you! I hope the meeting goes well for you.
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Post by quietgirl on May 23, 2024 16:53:09 GMT
Good luck! Hoping there is resolution. I hope your vacation was wonderful!!
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Post by lurker on May 23, 2024 17:23:52 GMT
Anyone want to place odds on co-worker actually showing up? And, if she does, she tries to throw jeremysgirl under the bus? Fingers and toes crossed for you, Becki!
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Post by mom on May 23, 2024 18:10:55 GMT
Anyone want to place odds on co-worker actually showing up? And, if she does, she tries to throw jeremysgirl under the bus? Fingers and toes crossed for you, Becki! Oh yeah...if she shows she is going to make herself out the victim in all of this. Stand you ground, Becki. You are a capable, responsible worker who has put up with more than you deserve.
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Post by kkrenn on May 23, 2024 19:10:44 GMT
I've been following along since your first post and although I'm just a screen name I wanted to tell you:
I am so proud of you!
I can read the change in you and how you've become so much more confident.
Stay strong!
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,134
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on May 23, 2024 19:51:24 GMT
Thinking and praying for a positive outcome for today's meeting. Sounds like he has had enough of her bs and wants a face to face meeting with her. I dont agree.. i think he is going to side with the slacker... he said in a post upthread that he didn't think any of this was as bad as jeremysgirl is making it out to be... just "miscommunication"... so he is going to point out that Jeremysgirl is just taking this all wrong... and slacker is a helping partner... I do NOT think this boss has her back... she is the squeaky wheel... so instead of getting grease... shes gonna get blamed.... Some other pea pointed out that once you become a problem you get eliminated... I DO NOT FOR 1 SECOND BELIEVE JEREMYSGIRL IS THE PROBLEM!!!! please do not think i am saying that.... but the boss and the hr people and the upper management... i will admit im worried...
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