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Post by AussieMeg on May 25, 2024 2:18:55 GMT
I can't believe he put you on the spot like that!! Well, I guess I can, if his past performance as a manager is anything to go on. I agree with you 100% that it was NOT your responsibility to bring up your grievances with her. He obviously wanted to bring you together in the hope that you would do all the nasty work, and he could sit back and play 'referee'. I think you handled it as well as you possibly could have, given the circumstances.
A decent manager would have a one-on-one with your colleague, and talk with her about her poor performance and how it affects the business, not how it affects one other person (you). He has enough 'ammunition' to put her on a performance plan without having to bring you into it at all. My god, he is as useless as tits on a bull.
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Post by ihaveonly1l on May 25, 2024 2:21:28 GMT
I also wouldn’t want to “rotate” if the system is set up to clean up the mess every few months.
Good luck to you.
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bethany102399
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Post by bethany102399 on May 25, 2024 4:01:27 GMT
My god, he is as useless as tits on a bull. ok, I've had a terrible, horrible no good very bad day and that comment just made me laugh so hard I peed. thank you AussieMeg. I needed that badly today. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 25, 2024 11:20:35 GMT
You guys are the best. Thank you!
I just no longer have any expectations at all. I don't ever kid myself into thinking anymore that things are going to change. So I get that the way most of us think it should have gone was in a "perfect world" scenario.
But it is still frustrating no matter what level of acceptance I have about the situation. I still have to work with and interact with these people daily.
That counselor though has been really helpful at helping me discern what I have control over and what I don't. Encouraging me to let balls drop and that I don't have to feel responsible for everything our office produces. It's helping. Her counsel was invaluable in helping me figure out my response to that meeting. I am confident I did things right.
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compeateropeator
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Post by compeateropeator on May 25, 2024 11:58:00 GMT
My god, he is as useless as tits on a bull. ok, I've had a terrible, horrible no good very bad day and that comment just made me laugh so hard I peed. thank you AussieMeg . I needed that badly today. Must be Australia and New England states have some of the same love of certain phrases because my father uses that one all the time and I hear it a lot around my area. 😆 jeremysgirl I am so sorry how things ended, especially when you had such excitement and hopefulness for the job in the beginning. It is shameful how one person and a manager’s ineffectual/non existent management can cause such a change in an excellent employee’s dedication. It should be a heads up to your company’s leadership how important a good and effective manager is. I am sending my best to you. Good thoughts that a job that you will love and flourish in, and that will be appreciative of all that you bring to it, falls into your lap and soon. |
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Rhondito
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Post by Rhondito on May 25, 2024 15:05:46 GMT
I wonder if he gave coworker any indication of why the meeting was called? It seems as if she wanted to drive the conversation whether intentionally or if that's just her being her. Regardless, he let her take over from the start when he should've shut her down and addressed the real issue. I'm sorry it's taken you this long to decide enough is enough, but I think it's a good decision. They aren't going to change. Once you get out of that toxic environment, you won't believe how much better you are gong to feel - mentally and physically. Peace is priceless.  |
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on May 25, 2024 15:12:07 GMT
That counselor though has been really helpful at helping me discern what I have control over and what I don't. Encouraging me to let balls drop and that I don't have to feel responsible for everything our office produces. It's helping. Her counsel was invaluable in helping me figure out my response to that meeting. I am confident I did things right. I suspect that what you have learned with your counselor is going to benefit you many times over, in both your professional and personal life. Learning to let balls drop and not feel responsible is difficult, but once you get the hang of it your own stress levels and mental state will thank you (BTDT). Kudos to you for searching her out and implementing what she taught you! Will be sending you all the positive job search vibes and prayers I have. Now that you have accepted the current situation will not change, something tells me the right position for you is going to turn up. The universe has a funny way of working that way! Must be Australia and New England states have some of the same love of certain phrases because my father uses that one all the time and I hear it a lot around my area. 😆 It's an old saying here in Texas as well. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 11, 2024 15:13:07 GMT
I had an interview today. Here's what I posted on the dinner thread: I will also let you know that my assistant director called me a little bit after that last meeting and I just laid it all out to him. When I stated that I thought my boss should have come prepared with a list of topics and made clear his expectations, he told me that union rules prohibit him from doing so in a group situation. It could be considered "informal performance counseling" which needs to be done one-on-one according to the rules. So there's that. I'm just really feeling like fuck all this.  |
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Jun 11, 2024 15:22:47 GMT
jeremysgirl I am so sorry you are dealing with not only the shit show at work but the feeling of not being able to escape and not getting any positive movement with interviews. I am sure it is all depleting of your soul. I am trying to figure out what answer she wanted.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 11, 2024 15:24:19 GMT
Sigh. That was just my first thought. I just wanted to let out a big sigh on your behalf. You are doing all that you can to change your job situation and this is so frustrating. I get the union rules, but your boss should have taken charge of the meeting and set those expectations, anyway. He didn't have to direct it twd her and he could have done it in such a way that she didn't feel targeted. Anyway...
You will find a better job. It's taking so long and it must feel defeating, but you will get something better. It's out there, though I'm sure it can't happen soon enough. Go scrap and relax. You deserve a great job and it's coming.
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Post by stormsts on Jun 11, 2024 15:53:02 GMT
I'm sorry you left the interview feeling so defeated.
Something better is out there for you!
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Post by mom on Jun 11, 2024 16:04:09 GMT
No advice, and you already know we all think this is a shitty position you are in. So for now, just big hugs and know we support you.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 11, 2024 16:06:32 GMT
I’m sorry you are feeling the way you do after that interview. I too wonder what type of answer she was looking for. I can totally understand why someone would be willing to be a smaller fish in a bigger pond if it means there is more opportunity to move up down the road. Hang in there, something better is waiting for you probably right around the corner. 🤞
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Post by cakediva on Jun 11, 2024 16:09:35 GMT
I had an interview today. Here's what I posted on the dinner thread: I will also let you know that my assistant director called me a little bit after that last meeting and I just laid it all out to him. When I stated that I thought my boss should have come prepared with a list of topics and made clear his expectations, he told me that union rules prohibit him from doing so in a group situation. It could be considered "informal performance counseling" which needs to be done one-on-one according to the rules. So there's that. I'm just really feeling like fuck all this.  OK so here's my question - if "union rules" work in her favour, why can't they work in yours as well? Or am I not clear on how union works? |
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Post by volunteergirl on Jun 11, 2024 17:14:43 GMT
What you told your director-to-be- you were committed to growth and are ambitious.
What she heard- this extremely qualified, willing to learn, smart, ambitious person is coming after my job at some point.
Just my opinion
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Post by quietgirl on Jun 11, 2024 17:24:23 GMT
Im sorry about the interview (about all of it really). I think you knocked that last question out of the park, too.I really think that was a fabulous answer. Maybe she just needs to think on it. Anyway, I'm still wishing you the best in your process for a new jo, plus the peace to deal with the current work situation.
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Post by lurker on Jun 11, 2024 17:29:08 GMT
Great point, volunteergirl! When will this ever end? I'm so frustrated for you, Becki! You sound so poised and put together - had I been asked that question in an interview, I would have stammered and stuttered and probably said something completely inappropriate about my current position. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 11, 2024 17:35:50 GMT
I had an interview today. Here's what I posted on the dinner thread: I will also let you know that my assistant director called me a little bit after that last meeting and I just laid it all out to him. When I stated that I thought my boss should have come prepared with a list of topics and made clear his expectations, he told me that union rules prohibit him from doing so in a group situation. It could be considered "informal performance counseling" which needs to be done one-on-one according to the rules. So there's that. I'm just really feeling like fuck all this. OK so here's my question - if "union rules" work in her favour, why can't they work in yours as well? Or am I not clear on how union works? They could have...had he followed them. She could have been gone by now. But he didn't follow proper procedures. I am waiting to see what the outcome of all this is. My assistant director said a few things to me when I laid it all on the line for him that lead me to believe that meeting was a precursor to something. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 11, 2024 17:37:25 GMT
What you told your director-to-be- you were committed to growth and are ambitious. What she heard- this extremely qualified, willing to learn, smart, ambitious person is coming after my job at some point. Just my opinion Aww...then it's a no win question. I mean what do you say, I want to work for less money, below my ability level for the next fifteen years until I retire? |
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Post by busy on Jun 11, 2024 17:43:16 GMT
What you told your director-to-be- you were committed to growth and are ambitious. What she heard- this extremely qualified, willing to learn, smart, ambitious person is coming after my job at some point. Just my opinion Ick. There's no need to assume the worst about someone. jeremysgirl She could have just been processing the answer and that's what was showing on her face. There may not be any negativity at all. Hoping that it went better than you think! |
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Rhondito
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Post by Rhondito on Jun 11, 2024 18:41:37 GMT
What you told your director-to-be- you were committed to growth and are ambitious. What she heard- this extremely qualified, willing to learn, smart, ambitious person is coming after my job at some point. Just my opinion Aww...then it's a no win question. I mean what do you say, I want to work for less money, below my ability level for the next fifteen years until I retire? I honestly can't think of a better answer you could've given than the one you gave. Well, except maybe "I have a shit coworker and I'm tired of carrying her workload and not getting support from my director and it's gotten so unbearable that I'll take a lower level job just to get away."
Don't fret over it - you gave the only answer that was appropriate.
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Jun 11, 2024 18:52:01 GMT
Totally agree with busy and Rhonditojeremysgirl you gave an appropriate response without putting your current job under the bus or complaining about your coworker from hell. Companies want go getters. They don't want stagnant employees. Assume the best not the worst. |
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Post by gillyp on Jun 11, 2024 19:09:00 GMT
I had an interview today. Here's what I posted on the dinner thread: I'm just really feeling like fuck all this. A good manager welcomes ambitious underlings because it gives them the opportunity to grow too. Maybe she was considering her own options at that point or maybe was concerned that the business would be too small for you and you would leave quite quickly after they'd gone through the motions of hiring you. Unless you get specific feedback you won't know so accept that you gave an excellent response and they will deal with it as they will. I forbid you from feeling guilty and you have express permission to f it all and f to everyone causing you such stress. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 11, 2024 19:34:00 GMT
I forbid you from feeling guilty and you have express permission to f it all and f to everyone causing you such stress. Sister I hear you and I will say, I am *not* feeling guilty about a damn thing. Not one damn thing.  |
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Post by volunteergirl on Jun 11, 2024 19:54:16 GMT
jeremysgirl , I am not putting this on you. Your answer was on point. But the question never should have been asked because there is not a good answer for it. An interviewer should never box in an interviewee like that. busy, yes, I admit. I do think the worst about people like that. In my opinion, she boxed jeremysgirl in and showed her own insecurity. There is no excuse for that. I am probably wrong but that’s how I see it.
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Post by busy on Jun 11, 2024 21:04:16 GMT
busy, yes, I admit. I do think the worst about people like that. In my opinion, she boxed jeremysgirl in and showed her own insecurity. There is no excuse for that. I think you're assuming facts not in evidence. She asked a super reasonable question. It's OP's interpretation that she didn't like the answer, and perhaps she didn't, but none of us know anything beyond "her face changed." You're making some big leaps. |
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scrapngranny
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Post by scrapngranny on Jun 12, 2024 16:08:42 GMT
Jeremy’s Girl, HUGS! I always believe things happen for a reason, there is a much better job out there for you. You will find it and be uplifted this is all behind you. You’ve got this!!
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gsquaredmom
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Post by gsquaredmom on Jun 12, 2024 16:42:49 GMT
I think the answer you gave was perfect.
Maybe her face changed because something she ate suddenly disagreed with her. Maybe she passed gas and got a whiff. Maybe her phone buzzed her ass and she’s embarrassed. Who knows??? Could be her face was totally independent of your answer.
Hope some part of this made you chuckle.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 12, 2024 16:51:28 GMT
I think the answer you gave was perfect. Maybe her face changed because something she ate suddenly disagreed with her. Maybe she passed gas and got a whiff. Maybe her phone buzzed her ass and she’s embarrassed. Who knows??? Could be her face was totally independent of your answer. Hope some part of this made you chuckle. 😂 thank you! |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 27, 2024 10:57:00 GMT
Good morning cadoodlebug asked for an update in yesterday's dinner thread so I thought I'd post it here. I did not get that job. I was notified by email on Friday. At least I was actually notified, it seems many of the jobs I've applied for recently haven't even bothered. I was momentarily bummed but really in the grand scheme of things, that job really didn't excite me, it was an exit strategy. I had my yearly evaluation. My evaluation is broken out into various objectives. I have to rate myself and make comments and then my boss rates me and makes comments. He didn't disagree with any of my self ratings, however, under communication he did say that my communication with people outside of my unit is great but I need to work on my communication skills with my coworker. I just rolled my eyes and carried on. But I did get a raise. She appears to be working somewhat but her memory is hit. And so I am having to tell her over and over again about things that we have talked about. She is trying to get involved more but it's almost as if it's harder. Like Tuesday in a meeting with my boss I had to again explain to her our plan for how to pay for an upcoming expensive IT project. I have been in at least 3 meetings with her planning this. And she just was completely confused...again. We got another follow up email with more accurate estimates and she told the person sending the email she would update her soon. I had to tell her that I was handling it already. Then she followed up with an email about if I'm handling something, the least I could do is inform her so she doesn't duplicate my efforts. I had to explain to her that not only was she involved in those emails weeks ago but that I was angry at her tone because she thought it was necessary to tell me what and how to do it. She had totally forgotten all of this conversation. So even though there seems to be more participation, she's just not remembering things and it's frustrating me. I'm not quite sure what to do with that. |
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