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Post by katiejane on Apr 10, 2017 17:36:37 GMT
My mother took me out for dinner, and made a bit of a deal of it. Took me years to live that one down. But if you guys are both cool with doing something, go for it. Did was 10 and started on the last day of primary school. We already had the stuff in ready, so it was more of a hug and chat. I was not going to introduce tampons until her cycle has settled.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Apr 10, 2017 17:37:28 GMT
Agreed. I was just turned 11, also a swimmer. I started using tampons as soon as I figured out how to use them. Ok you guys are making me rethink this--I didn't realize 11 year olds were wearing them! So perhaps I'll introduce them earlier, especially since she's the only one In her class to have periods and it's definitely going to be noticeable, the smell was horrid this weekend:( what do you mean about the smell? you could smell her? gina
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 0:22:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2017 17:44:59 GMT
it's definitely going to be noticeable, the smell was horrid this weekend:( Ok, you need to teach her about proper hygiene here. There shouldn't be a smell that could be described as horrid, she needs to change her pad regularly and wash properly.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Apr 10, 2017 17:49:49 GMT
Agreed. I was just turned 11, also a swimmer. I started using tampons as soon as I figured out how to use them. Ok you guys are making me rethink this--I didn't realize 11 year olds were wearing them! So perhaps I'll introduce them earlier, especially since she's the only one In her class to have periods and it's definitely going to be noticeable, the smell was horrid this weekend:( I would have a discussion with her about this and leave the choice to her. Age is utterly immaterial in my opinion, but yes 11 year olds are absolutely wearing them - and even younger.
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Post by gale w on Apr 10, 2017 17:54:27 GMT
Oh I am SOOO glad my mother didn't "celebrate" this with me. Dear god WHY??? This. My girls would not have wanted a celebration either.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,465
Location: MN
Member is Online
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Apr 10, 2017 17:59:20 GMT
Feel free to tell me to mind my own business - but why not just get her some tampons? I was a swimmer, almost everyone I know started tampons day 1, and I did the same. My daughter is a dancer - same situation. I see no reason to miss out on anything because of your period. Id prefer to wait a year or two. She's 13, and a young 13 at that. I started using them at 15 when I joined the swim team so I know it's normal and safe and all that stuff but for her first few periods id like to hold off. I don't understand why. Just present her the options and let her choose. Her body, not like you're the one to insert the tampon.
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bethany102399
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Posts: 3,619
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on Apr 10, 2017 18:10:45 GMT
my jaw is dropping for those of you who had an announcement made. I'm cringing over here at my desk. I got handed a box of pantyliners and told to figure it out. We had had the "talk" at school as part of health class so I knew it was coming. What was awful was I had terrible heavy periods that had me running from one bathroom to the next for years. It was not unusual at all for me to throw up for at least the first 2 days. Making it even worse I've always had an erratic schedule. Never the same number of days between cycles, it can vary by as much as a week to 10 days.
My mom had NO sympathy and I was told to suck it up repeatedly. I found out years later that our family doc had offered to put me on the pill, but she refused. It wasn't until college that I wound up on the pill and began having a much less painful time. 2 kids and age finally led to more normal cycles, and I don't throw up anymore but man those early years sucked. I'm not looking forward to going through it with DD, but I fully intend to be more involved than my mom was.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 10, 2017 18:22:39 GMT
Yes, I did. LOL And I was not prepared at all as we never had any talk. I had no idea what was going on. I can laugh about it now, but at the time...I cried and cried and cried. That was my middle sister too. Neither my mom nor my oldest sister (2 years older than the middle one) ever clued her in, so when it happened she really thought she was dying. Went to the nurse (Catholic school, so it was a nun) who snappily told her, "You're not dying. It's just your period. Here." as she handed her one of those sanitary belt contraptions and pointed her to the bathroom! She told me she went into the bathroom and cried and cried. She was so caught off guard and embarrassed that when I got to be about ten or so (I'm 8 years younger), she was the one who told me what to expect because she knew no one else would! I was so thankful I didn't have to experience it like that.
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Post by gar on Apr 10, 2017 18:23:40 GMT
Id prefer to wait a year or two. She's 13, and a young 13 at that. I started using them at 15 when I joined the swim team so I know it's normal and safe and all that stuff but for her first few periods id like to hold off. I don't understand why. Just present her the options and let her choose. Her body, not like you're the one to insert the tampon. Read her post a couple above yours 😊
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Post by mom on Apr 10, 2017 18:43:09 GMT
Well, there was no party for me (thank God!). I had my period for a solid 4 months before I even told my mom. As the youngest of three girls, someone was always on their period so my trash just blended in with the others.
As a mom of two boys, I would NEVER celebrated my sons going through puberty so why would it be ok for a girl? I don't get it.
I would have died if anyone made a celebration about it, announced it to anyone or God help me, posted on social media about it.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
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Post by Mystie on Apr 10, 2017 18:46:27 GMT
Wow, the peas all agree here! Love it when that happens! If you do your weekend trip away, I'd suggest doing it low key and NOT actually making it about her entry into woman hood. In fact, I'd hope it is never even mentioned other than, letting her help pick out the supplies she'd like to try. Mine was forever etched in my memory. Thank god it was a funny memory and one I will always carry with me. But given the choice, heck no! I would not have wanted it marked by some mother daughter bonding trip. In case you missed my story, here it is from a favorite memory thread a long while back: Your dad sounds like a total sweetheart! Not the bonding moment you or he would have chosen, I'm sure, but it's such a sweet story!
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psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217
Location: Canada's Capital
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:26 GMT
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Post by psiluvu on Apr 10, 2017 19:26:52 GMT
My dd was 12 I bought her pads, tampons and a big chocolate bar. Told her how to use the products and that was that. She would have been mortified if there was a "celebration"
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 10, 2017 20:42:30 GMT
Got it. The Peas hate their periods. Truth be told, I do too. It's a moronic system and one I would never have instituted if I were the omnipotent designer of the universe. Far better to have a little switch somewhere - "yes, ready for kids" or "no, not interested". I think we'll still do something to mark the occasion when it happens. Probably a little weekend away. But thanks for the insights. I'll be the lone dissenter. I think it is a rite of passage and worth celebrating. Many religions & cultures "celebrate" becoming a woman in different ways. I think anything that doesn't make your daughter die of embarrassment is just fine, lunch or a weekend away sounds like a nice private celebration. I took my daughter shopping. We had a nice afternoon together.
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 10, 2017 20:45:36 GMT
I would no more celebrate my daughter's first period than my son's first wet dream. I literally LOL'd! Well, there was no party for me (thank God!). I had my period for a solid 4 months before I even told my mom. As the youngest of three girls, someone was always on their period so my trash just blended in with the others. Yep! My mom found out sooner because I was sick (for other reasons). The doctor asked the routine question of have you started your period? I said yes and my mom and sister who were in the room were shocked! Apparently I started 2 years earlier than the rest of them did. I was too embarrassed to tell my mom, I went to the maturation program, and we had pads at home. I would have died if there was celebrating. I got enough crap from my sisters because I started "so early!". I agree with what another poster said. It's a biological function. Besides, my sons would have felt left out. Maybe I should have done a congratulations, you're voice finally changed celebration!
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Post by Sam on Apr 10, 2017 20:46:17 GMT
Got it. The Peas hate their periods. Truth be told, I do too. It's a moronic system and one I would never have instituted if I were the omnipotent designer of the universe. Far better to have a little switch somewhere - "yes, ready for kids" or "no, not interested". I think we'll still do something to mark the occasion when it happens. Probably a little weekend away. But thanks for the insights. I'll be the lone dissenter. I think it is a rite of passage and worth celebrating. Many religions & cultures "celebrate" becoming a woman in different ways. I think anything that doesn't make your daughter die of embarrassment is just fine, lunch or a weekend away sounds like a nice private celebration. I took my daughter shopping. We had a nice afternoon together. On one hand, I REALLY didn't want any fuss or mention of it at all. On the other....heck, I missed out on a shopping trip!! Damn!!
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 10, 2017 20:54:10 GMT
I'll be the lone dissenter. I think it is a rite of passage and worth celebrating. Many religions & cultures "celebrate" becoming a woman in different ways. I think anything that doesn't make your daughter die of embarrassment is just fine, lunch or a weekend away sounds like a nice private celebration. I took my daughter shopping. We had a nice afternoon together. On one hand, I REALLY didn't want any fuss or mention of it at all. On the other....heck, I missed out on a shopping trip!! Damn!! It's nice that we don't all have to be the same isn't it? My daughter was excited. She enjoyed the special time we spent together. It was a nice mother daughter bonding for us. I'm guessing you really didn't miss out on anything at all.
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Post by Sam on Apr 10, 2017 21:00:51 GMT
On one hand, I REALLY didn't want any fuss or mention of it at all. On the other....heck, I missed out on a shopping trip!! Damn!! It's nice that we don't all have to be the same isn't it? My daughter was excited. She enjoyed the special time we spent together. It was a nice mother daughter bonding for us. I'm guessing you really didn't miss out on anything at all. I'm sure it was and I didn't say otherwise.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 10, 2017 21:08:28 GMT
It's nice that we don't all have to be the same isn't it? My daughter was excited. She enjoyed the special time we spent together. It was a nice mother daughter bonding for us. I'm guessing you really didn't miss out on anything at all. I'm sure it was and I didn't say otherwise. Your reply came across a bit snarky. If you didn't intend it that way. I apologize for being snarky back.
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Post by Sam on Apr 10, 2017 21:12:17 GMT
I'm sure it was and I didn't say otherwise. Your reply came across a bit snarky. If you didn't intend it that way. I apologize for being snarky back. As did your response!! I can tell you right now that I AM jealous that your kid got a shopping trip and I didn't!! No snark at all. I WANT that trip!!! LOL
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Post by MichyM on Apr 10, 2017 21:16:04 GMT
Oh I am SOOO glad my mother didn't "celebrate" this with me. Dear god WHY??? Ok, I admit to only getting to this first reply, but ditto this. Maybe I'm an old fogey (is that how it's spelled?), but I simply cannot imagine....
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Post by snappinsami on Apr 10, 2017 21:20:57 GMT
I grew up with this story... When my mother got her period for the first time, she went down into their kitchen, where her mother and their neighbor were talking. She told them about it, and the neighbor got up and slapped my mother across the face. My mother was HORRIFIED. If you google "Jewish first period slap" you can read about the various reasons that are given for it. But basically it comes down to traditions. Anyway, my mother had told me about it, and as DD neared puberty she shared the story with her as well. One day when DD was in 6th grade, I got a call from the school nurse's office. It was DD and the first thing she said was, "When I get home, you need to slap me." I had no clue what she was talking about (but could just imagine the nurse's face when she heard that! ), but DD reminded me about my mom's story. It had sure stuck with her! Anyway, I didn't do any more than a playful tap of her cheek, but I did take her out for ice cream that afternoon. That was it. I didn't see a reason to do a formal "celebration" of any kind.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Apr 10, 2017 22:00:07 GMT
My mother hugged me and I looked at her "don't touch me" kind of hug. Then I went to school. I was weirded out by it, it was kind of a non-event in her world. I didn't want to tell her but we had separate bathrooms and I guess I needed supplies so I had them.
If I had had a daughter I would not have done anything for her either other than bought every kind of supply under the sun and told her to choose what she likes and I would buy the rest.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Apr 10, 2017 22:05:10 GMT
Feel free to tell me to mind my own business - but why not just get her some tampons? I was a swimmer, almost everyone I know started tampons day 1, and I did the same. My daughter is a dancer - same situation. I see no reason to miss out on anything because of your period. Id prefer to wait a year or two. She's 13, and a young 13 at that. I started using them at 15 when I joined the swim team so I know it's normal and safe and all that stuff but for her first few periods id like to hold off. I started using them my first period and, like I said, I was 9. Make sure you emphasize the risks of TSS and she'll be good to go.
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Post by kristi on Apr 10, 2017 22:15:27 GMT
No!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 10, 2017 22:55:51 GMT
I haven't "celebrated" with either of my girls.
They have books about their body from a youngish age.
Before their first periods, I had already bought an assortment of pads & tampons, just to keep stocked in their closet.
When they did get their first times, I ran to Walgreens and grabbed them up some chocolate.
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Post by Leone on Apr 10, 2017 23:00:46 GMT
Quite frankly, I am dumbfounded at your idea. And please, don't scrapbook the occasion! So glad my mother knew it wasnt exactly a time to celebrate.
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Post by Leone on Apr 10, 2017 23:07:16 GMT
OMG...drop the idea of a special outing. You are starting to seem strange.
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Post by jmd74 on Apr 10, 2017 23:14:55 GMT
My daughter started her period when she was 10 years old. It started a few minutes before she was to leave for school and the cramps began immediately. I let her stay home from school and we went shopping and to lunch. We also stopped by Barnes and Noble and got the American Girl book called "The Care and Keeping of You". (I think that's the name) She was so young when she started so I think the book was helpful.
I didn't make the day all about her period but we had a great mother and daughter bonding day and I will never regret it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 0:22:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2017 23:26:40 GMT
My mother decided that the entire family needed to know that I started. I stopped telling her anything after that. I would suggest that you not spread the news. My mother did this, too. I was nearly 14 and it was CHRISTMAS DAY so every one of the out of state family members who made a call on Christmas to the house, got to hear about it. Then the local family got the news at dinner. I wanted to die!
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
Aug 28, 2014 2:37:56 GMT
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Post by zookeeper on Apr 10, 2017 23:55:30 GMT
Erect a red tent in the backyard. This made me snort!
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