Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 0:31:03 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 0:21:12 GMT
OMG...drop the idea of a special outing. You are starting to seem strange. Um. And your comments are starting to seem rude. You can give your opinion on what you'd do w/o telling someone else what to do, and certainly w/o "you are" comments. ------- As I said upthread, for me and DD, something between the two of us to mark the occasion feels right - and thanks to those who worded their responses this way. To the ~97% who either didn't read what I wrote or purposely ignored it - nowhere did I discuss "announcing it" or in any way making the information public. But again, it's interesting seeing just what negative feelings there are on the occasion for most folks and what they read into it.
|
|
|
Post by Freefallfast on Apr 11, 2017 0:44:45 GMT
G-d I'd give anything to have had a Mom that was thoughtful and kind about ANYTHING in my life. Periods. Emotions about life especially when I was having a period. Supplies. Warning. All the usual.
I think it's sweet you want to acknowledge this moment. And you are being subtle about it. I never assumed you meant big old public celebration bash!!
|
|
seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,786
Member is Online
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
|
Post by seaexplore on Apr 11, 2017 0:45:56 GMT
I think it naturally went to where people were telling about their first experience. I've enjoyed reading this thread.
I don't "hate" my period. It's an annoyance that I live with. I can't wait until menopause! I got my remaining tube tied last year when I had my DS and I don't think my OB/GYN will put me back on the pill. If she does I will be ever so grateful! Have to wait until I'm done nursing to have that discussion. Yep, one who is nursing but has her period. Fun times.
|
|
Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,314
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
|
Post by Country Ham on Apr 11, 2017 1:34:26 GMT
An amusing period story. On the way home from my son's jr high baseball game tonight my daughter asked if I was OK.
Me: just period cramps. 14 year old son: Ha! Glad I'm a boy. 12 1/2 year old daughter: Ha! Glad I haven't gotten mine yet.
ETA that I did find out though she has a plan in place in case she starts at school and apparently the girl's bathrooms have sanitary napkins in them for free "just in case".
|
|
PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,790
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
|
Post by PLurker on Apr 11, 2017 1:55:57 GMT
Just listen for and accept a "no thanks" if it is there, would be my only advice. I know a couple of times I'd plan something for my kids and thought it's be fun for them and was surprised to find they didn't want to do whatever, and it'd be a "Mom, no, please and thanks." I had to be okay with that as they get opinions, too. Go figure!
I would not have wanted it celebrated or attention be made of it, but you know your daughter and as long as she is good with what ever you do, do it.
And that being said, I WOULD like to celebrate the END of MY period! Anytime now! I'm old and guess what I got today. Damn. enough already.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Apr 11, 2017 2:08:06 GMT
I don't get all the hush hush don't-talk-about-it surrounding getting a period. It's a part of life!
I let my daughter stay home from school the day she got hers so she could adjust to wearing a napkin and learn how often to change it, and in the afternoon we went shopping together. She already knew what to expect from health class, talking to me, and from friends, and it was really not a shocker at all, nor was it something shameful or embarrassing.
To this day she has happy memories of that time and our fun day playing hookey from school.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Apr 11, 2017 2:14:51 GMT
Has she actually started or is this future planning?
Perhaps ask her what she'd like to do and tell her if she doesn't want to do anythung, that is okay too.
I stared new years day when I was 12. I told my mom and she got emotional and it weirded me out. I would have hated a celebration of any kind. It is not my style.
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on Apr 11, 2017 2:45:07 GMT
Remind her that you're there if she has any questions about sex and her body. Make sure she knows how to use pads/tampons and then let it go. She won't want to belabor this.
|
|
|
Post by melanell on Apr 11, 2017 2:47:15 GMT
Id prefer to wait a year or two. She's 13, and a young 13 at that. I started using them at 15 when I joined the swim team so I know it's normal and safe and all that stuff but for her first few periods id like to hold off. I started using them my first period and, like I said, I was 9. Make sure you emphasize the risks of TSS and she'll be good to go. I started at 10, but my mom didn't give me any tampons at first. I finally swiped one of hers one day, several cycles later and all I could think was "Why the heck didn't she give me these in the first place??" For me, the applicators were a bitch at that age. I had popped the tampon out of the applicator and then inserted it the first time I used one, and after that I got OB brand to avoid the issue completely. Now there are so many more choices out there. So many sizes and applicators. If I had a DD I would buy a variety and let her see what worked best for her. When I was in school, I'd wear a tampon and a small pad, because I was so terrified of experiencing any leakage while at school. Save
|
|
|
Post by iamkristinl16 on Apr 11, 2017 2:51:55 GMT
I just wanted to hide. No way I would want to celebrate, but a nice "coming of age" letter might have been ok.
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Apr 11, 2017 2:54:58 GMT
No, never, don't do it.
7 girls in my birth family and NO one even discussed it with another sister. I told my mother, she gave me a sanitary napkin belt (that's how old I am) and a pad and I went on my way.
I'd have been mortified if it was announced. Some things are personal and this is one of them.
I would not want my bowel functions to be a topic of discussion either.
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Apr 11, 2017 3:10:14 GMT
I began the summer I was age 11.
By the time I was in high school I had terrible cramps each month, to the point of vomiting. Periods were every 32 days, but heavy and lasted a week....That continued until I was age 21, got married and began taking the BC pill. Sweet hallijulah! No cramps! A 5 day period! ....and when I got off the pill, that first month, the pain was like it had saved all the pain for 7 years and was inflicting it NOW. OMG....After I had a child, the cramps left.
Even with all that, I saw it as just a part of nature and a body function. No reason to celebrate or announce to the world.
Years ago, our neighbor told me when her daughter had her first period. I felt bad for the daughter, who was visibly embarrassed.
|
|
|
Post by anniefb on Apr 11, 2017 8:10:59 GMT
Nope...no celebrations here. Truth be told, it never entered my mind the celebrate the event. That ^^
|
|
Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
|
Post by Dalai Mama on Apr 11, 2017 10:13:58 GMT
I started using them my first period and, like I said, I was 9. Make sure you emphasize the risks of TSS and she'll be good to go. I started at 10, but my mom didn't give me any tampons at first. I finally swiped one of hers one day, several cycles later and all I could think was "Why the heck didn't she give me these in the first place??" For me, the applicators were a bitch at that age. I had popped the tampon out of the applicator and then inserted it the first time I used one, and after that I got OB brand to avoid the issue completely. Now there are so many more choices out there. So many sizes and applicators. If I had a DD I would buy a variety and let her see what worked best for her. When I was in school, I'd wear a tampon and a small pad, because I was so terrified of experiencing any leakage while at school. SaveI moved to OB after being pinched by one of the Playtex plastic applicators. Nothing like being a kid and trying to dislodge your cervix from the jaws of death. Those things are evil.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Apr 11, 2017 11:02:03 GMT
OMG...drop the idea of a special outing. You are starting to seem strange. We've learned a lot about you from your comment, and it's not complimentary.
|
|
katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,447
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
|
Post by katybee on Apr 11, 2017 11:18:52 GMT
These threads always crack me up. And please do not try to tell me you've never heard of a special "celebration" to mark the event, because this is exactly the THIRD thread I've participated on...and I'll give the same reply...
I cannot believe that so many people think it's GROSS to talk about your period. Yet another example of how women have been shamed over the years. That feeling has been so deeply imbedded in us that we think it's normal--that it's shameful and should be hidden.
I'm not saying you should throw a party or announce it on Facebook, or make your daughter a crown of flowers and dance under the moon. But it can be very traumatizing to have blood suddenly start coming out of your hoo-ha. Why would you ever just throw a tampon at her and say "deal with it"? And if your daughters are ashamed to talk with you about it, you've already made them feel like it's a SHAMEFUL thing.
My mom took the day off from work, I got to stay home from school. We, like someone else said, went on a little shopping trip and to lunch. And we watched movies. it made me feel loved.
I hate my period and am more than ready to be done. I hate the hassle, the cramps, the PMS--but I am not ashamed of a biological function. That, to me, is the weird thing...
|
|
|
Post by gar on Apr 11, 2017 11:25:49 GMT
I didn't see anyone say they were ashamed, more that it's a fact of life and not a particularly enjoyable one at that, and that it doesn't perhaps need 'celebrating'. I did see a lot of us saying we were loving and available to our daughters, many saying they freely talked about what was happening and provided what our daughters needed. That's a world of difference from what you're saying.
|
|
|
Post by melanell on Apr 11, 2017 11:31:09 GMT
I started at 10, but my mom didn't give me any tampons at first. I finally swiped one of hers one day, several cycles later and all I could think was "Why the heck didn't she give me these in the first place??" For me, the applicators were a bitch at that age. I had popped the tampon out of the applicator and then inserted it the first time I used one, and after that I got OB brand to avoid the issue completely. Now there are so many more choices out there. So many sizes and applicators. If I had a DD I would buy a variety and let her see what worked best for her. When I was in school, I'd wear a tampon and a small pad, because I was so terrified of experiencing any leakage while at school. SaveI moved to OB after being pinched by one of the Playtex plastic applicators. Nothing like being a kid and trying to dislodge your cervix from the jaws of death. Those things are evil. That's exactly what happened to me. The pinch of death it felt like! (Plus, I had grown up visiting the beach and regularly seeing applicators on the coast, which had already left me with a negative feeling about them. Sure, it's not the applicators' fault that they were there, LOL, but hey, I was 10. ) Save
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Apr 11, 2017 11:49:45 GMT
or make your daughter a crown of flowers and dance under the moon Well, there goes my idea! =) I don't think I've ever participated in these threads, but I always read them. I cringe more over the chocolate, ice cream, and junk food comments, but that's because I have weird ideas about food being associated with rewards and needing to be comforted. But that's a whole other thread! Maybe I should be on the judgy thread with this.
|
|
|
Post by compeateropeator on Apr 11, 2017 12:45:45 GMT
I started at 10, but my mom didn't give me any tampons at first. I finally swiped one of hers one day, several cycles later and all I could think was "Why the heck didn't she give me these in the first place??" For me, the applicators were a bitch at that age. I had popped the tampon out of the applicator and then inserted it the first time I used one, and after that I got OB brand to avoid the issue completely. Now there are so many more choices out there. So many sizes and applicators. If I had a DD I would buy a variety and let her see what worked best for her. When I was in school, I'd wear a tampon and a small pad, because I was so terrified of experiencing any leakage while at school. SaveI moved to OB after being pinched by one of the Playtex plastic applicators. Nothing like being a kid and trying to dislodge your cervix from the jaws of death. Those things are evil. I was the opposite, I tried the OB ones and hated them. They were uncomfortable and I had a huge problem inserting them (correctly). I also was not a fan of the plastic applicators. Tampax with the cardboard applicator was my go to. I never found anything that I liked better. I also am another that would often (at least at the beginning of each cycle) wear a thin pad as backup. I think the important thing is to find the product that works and feels right for you. That might be a bit expensive in the beginning to have to buy a box and only use a couple before trying something else, but I think it is worth it.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Apr 11, 2017 12:59:14 GMT
I didn't see anyone say they were ashamed, more that it's a fact of life and not a particularly enjoyable one at that, and that it doesn't perhaps need 'celebrating'. I did see a lot of us saying we were loving and available to our daughters, many saying they freely talked about what was happening and provided what our daughters needed. That's a world of difference from what you're saying. I see plenty of both on this thread -- not the exact word "ashamed," but plenty of denial of an essential part of womanhood. Hush hush, here's a sanitary napkin, hurry on along... Not saying we should have fireworks and balloons, but perhaps we can find a way to help our daughters not feel embarrassed about the beginning of this wonderful thing our bodies can do - giving life.
|
|
|
Post by compeateropeator on Apr 11, 2017 13:01:12 GMT
These threads always crack me up. And please do not try to tell me you've never heard of a special "celebration" to mark the event, because this is exactly the THIRD thread I've participated on...and I'll give the same reply... I cannot believe that so many people think it's GROSS to talk about your period. Yet another example of how women have been shamed over the years. That feeling has been so deeply imbedded in us that we think it's normal--that it's shameful and should be hidden. I'm not saying you should throw a party or announce it on Facebook, or make your daughter a crown of flowers and dance under the moon. But it can be very traumatizing to have blood suddenly start coming out of your hoo-ha. Why would you ever just throw a tampon at her and say "deal with it"? And if your daughters are ashamed to talk with you about it, you've already made them feel like it's a SHAMEFUL thing. My mom took the day off from work, I got to stay home from school. We, like someone else said, went on a little shopping trip and to lunch. And we watched movies. it made me feel loved. I hate my period and am more than ready to be done. I hate the hassle, the cramps, the PMS--but I am not ashamed of a biological function. That, to me, is the weird thing... I am not embarrassed, ashamed, or anything else about getting a period. I do not think it is gross to talk about it. It is a normal bodily function and just another part of life. My family is really fine with all of these things that the body does and do not try and sweep them under the rug (as an example see my responses on the FARTING thread). That said however I still stand by my response that I would have hated "celebrating " getting my period and "becoming a woman". It is not me and it makes me laugh. But I certainly do not judge or diminish those that do. I do not think that not wanting to celebrate equates to being ashamed.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 0:31:03 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 14:51:04 GMT
It's akin to celebrating the first poop or wet dream. It's just body fluid and nothing to celebrate or be ashamed of. Find something else to celebrate - like a true accomplishment.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 11, 2017 14:52:05 GMT
These threads always crack me up. And please do not try to tell me you've never heard of a special "celebration" to mark the event, because this is exactly the THIRD thread I've participated on...and I'll give the same reply... I cannot believe that so many people think it's GROSS to talk about your period. Yet another example of how women have been shamed over the years. That feeling has been so deeply imbedded in us that we think it's normal--that it's shameful and should be hidden. I'm not saying you should throw a party or announce it on Facebook, or make your daughter a crown of flowers and dance under the moon. But it can be very traumatizing to have blood suddenly start coming out of your hoo-ha. Why would you ever just throw a tampon at her and say "deal with it"? And if your daughters are ashamed to talk with you about it, you've already made them feel like it's a SHAMEFUL thing. My mom took the day off from work, I got to stay home from school. We, like someone else said, went on a little shopping trip and to lunch. And we watched movies. it made me feel loved. I hate my period and am more than ready to be done. I hate the hassle, the cramps, the PMS--but I am not ashamed of a biological function. That, to me, is the weird thing... I am not embarrassed, ashamed, or anything else about getting a period. I do not think it is gross to talk about it. It is a normal bodily function and just another part of life. My family is really fine with all of these things that the body does and do not try and sweep them under the rug (as an example see my responses on the FARTING thread). That said however I still stand by my response that I would have hated "celebrating " getting my period and "becoming a woman". It is not me and it makes me laugh. But I certainly do not judge or diminish those that do. I do not think that not wanting to celebrate equates to being ashamed. I don't think it's the adults who are grossed out by it, it's the KIDS who are. I just remember way back when being dragged into the pediatrician's office at fifteen because I still hadn't started. The doctor just looked at my mom, smiled and said, "Some girls are just late bloomers. It's totally normal." Being the age I was, I wanted to crawl under a rock and DIE. It was so embarrassing to me. The ironic part of all of it was that my mom never had "the talk" with either of my older sisters or with me, and my one sister explained to me how it all worked a few years before that since both of them started around 11-12 and both are considerably older than I am. It would have been very awkward for me if my mom would have wanted to celebrate that particular event when it eventually happened in any way, shape or form. But hey, if it works for someone else's family they should roll with that. Now that I'm a whole lot older I'm not ashamed in the least. Totally ready to be done with it (and counting the months with baited breath hoping the last one was the LAST one), but definitely not ashamed. I'm also not as self conscious as I was back then either. I'm just infinitely thankful that my late start didn't mean I was late to end too. I can totally understand why people are mentioning things like ice cream and chocolate, they are comfort foods. Who wouldn't want to comfort their kid in a familiar way? And all those wild hormones do make people crave stuff, for me it was salty things like chips.
|
|
|
Post by myboysnme on Apr 11, 2017 15:37:25 GMT
In 5th grade my mother gave permission for me to see a film called , "So you're a woman now." We got a little booklet that I read more than a few times. This was in the era of belts and pads, if any of you recall THAT!
In 7th grade when I finally got it, I drew a picture and taped it to my mom's mirror, came home and found a belt and a box of Kotex. That was it.
I must say that in my day there was no celebrating or bonding. It was the beginning of a monthly hassle that went on for decades.
I wouldn't be celebrating any bodily function really.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 0:31:03 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 15:48:39 GMT
In 5th grade my mother gave permission for me to see a film called , "So you're a woman now." We got a little booklet that I read more than a few times. This was in the era of belts and pads, if any of you recall THAT!
In 7th grade when I finally got it, I drew a picture and taped it to my mom's mirror, came home and found a belt and a box of Kotex. That was it.
I must say that in my day there was no celebrating or bonding. It was the beginning of a monthly hassle that went on for decades.
I wouldn't be celebrating any bodily function really. Really? Birth is a bodily function. We also celebrate the heck out of birthdays, which aren't really a personal achievement in most cases. Funny how people are.
|
|
|
Post by myboysnme on Apr 11, 2017 16:22:11 GMT
In 5th grade my mother gave permission for me to see a film called , "So you're a woman now." We got a little booklet that I read more than a few times. This was in the era of belts and pads, if any of you recall THAT!
In 7th grade when I finally got it, I drew a picture and taped it to my mom's mirror, came home and found a belt and a box of Kotex. That was it.
I must say that in my day there was no celebrating or bonding. It was the beginning of a monthly hassle that went on for decades.
I wouldn't be celebrating any bodily function really. Really? Birth is a bodily function. We also celebrate the heck out of birthdays, which aren't really a personal achievement in most cases. Funny how people are. Good point! I agree on birthdays, too. I guess just celebrating that a person lived another year.
I'm not opposed to a celebration of menstruation. I'm just saying it wouldn't have occurred to me and probably not on my list of things, but I know there are all sorts of different ways to do things!
|
|
RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,897
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
|
Post by RedSquirrelUK on Apr 11, 2017 16:28:42 GMT
Young girls get very embarrassed over most bodily functions. That comes with puberty. I was having a conversation with my MIL only the other day about shared boy/girl bathrooms, and how the girls in my niece's class are getting constipated because they won't poop if they think boys might come in and hear them. The same applies to periods and the sound of all the paraphernalia. Yes, as adults we are more blasé - we're more mature and we've lived with them for years - but it can take quite a while for girls to get used to periods. I think they need their privacy at that age. My twopennyworth is that if it feels right to you both to mark the occasion with some quality mother/daughter time together then go ahead, as long as she is happy with that. From what you say, I'm getting that you have a lovely relationship with your daughter. You're both very lucky.
|
|
|
Post by myboysnme on Apr 11, 2017 16:35:27 GMT
Far better to have a little switch somewhere - "yes, ready for kids" or "no, not interested". No kidding! I always felt that would be best. Jeez, I had my period for 18 years before I was actually ready to have a kid. 18 years!! I could have happily lived without it for all of those years. I got my period at 13 and stopped at 55. I had 2 pregnancies and 2 babies, so that is about 480 unneeded periods over 40 years.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 0:31:03 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 16:38:48 GMT
No kidding! I always felt that would be best. Jeez, I had my period for 18 years before I was actually ready to have a kid. 18 years!! I could have happily lived without it for all of those years. I got my period at 13 and stopped at 55. I had 2 pregnancies and 2 babies, so that is about 480 unneeded periods over 40 years. Right??!?! Intelligent design, my aunt Fanny. No intelligent designer worth their salt would design a system w/this much wasted matter and energy in it - not to mention the ever-popular cramps, inconvenience, and general pain-in-the-assedness about it.
|
|