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Post by gar on Apr 11, 2017 16:41:01 GMT
In 5th grade my mother gave permission for me to see a film called , "So you're a woman now." We got a little booklet that I read more than a few times. This was in the era of belts and pads, if any of you recall THAT!
In 7th grade when I finally got it, I drew a picture and taped it to my mom's mirror, came home and found a belt and a box of Kotex. That was it.
I must say that in my day there was no celebrating or bonding. It was the beginning of a monthly hassle that went on for decades.
I wouldn't be celebrating any bodily function really. Really? Birth is a bodily function. . Don't you think it's the baby we're celebrating, not the process?
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 0:24:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 16:44:41 GMT
Really? Birth is a bodily function. . Don't you think it's the baby we're celebrating, not the process? Seems like kind of both really.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
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Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Apr 11, 2017 16:50:49 GMT
Really? Birth is a bodily function. . Don't you think it's the baby we're celebrating, not the process? Agreed. We don't celebrate making a bowel movement or passing a kidney stone or vomiting or sneezing. We celebrate childbirth because it hopefully results in a live child. It is not the process, it is the result.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 0:24:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 16:53:26 GMT
Don't you think it's the baby we're celebrating, not the process? Agreed. We don't celebrate making a bowel movement or passing a kidney stone or vomiting or sneezing. We celebrate childbirth because it hopefully results in a live child. It is not the process, it is the result. Yet we celebrate birthdays - just a normal bodily function of being alive another day. No one thinks that's weird. And they come every year, not just once in a lifetime.
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Post by padresfan619 on Apr 11, 2017 16:55:06 GMT
I certainly wasn't ashamed of having a period when I was 12, I was embarrassed of anything my mother did. I was a pre-teen, it's a fact of life all parents are embarrassing at that age. We had had talks ad nauseum by the time I finally started, the talks started when I was 9 years old!
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 0:24:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 17:19:39 GMT
Agreed. We don't celebrate making a bowel movement or passing a kidney stone or vomiting or sneezing. We celebrate childbirth because it hopefully results in a live child. It is not the process, it is the result. Yet we celebrate birthdays - just a normal bodily function of being alive another day. No one thinks that's weird. And they come every year, not just once in a lifetime. Birthdays imo are about celebrating a person as a whole not about celebrating a 'bodily function'. I threw up this morning, no one got me a balloon Save
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Post by Anne-Marie on Apr 11, 2017 17:23:04 GMT
I think we picked up a milkshake, agreed that periods kind of suck, and called it a day.
ETA - that was me and DD. My mom probably wouldn't have done anything but I didn't give her a chance. I started one summer while I was spending a week with my grandmother and great-grandmother and didn't tell her when I got home. I think she figured it out a few months later when she noticed her pad supply was dwindling quickly.
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oh yvonne
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Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Apr 11, 2017 17:24:18 GMT
Yet we celebrate birthdays - just a normal bodily function of being alive another day. No one thinks that's weird. And they come every year, not just once in a lifetime. Birthdays imo are about celebrating a person as a whole not about celebrating a 'bodily function'. I threw up this morning, no one got me a balloon Saveomg, this thread is so ridiculous, I love it! Honestly, Zingermack, you are pulling our leg with all that, right? LOL
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
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Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Apr 11, 2017 17:30:44 GMT
I threw up this morning, no one got me a balloon No balloon but a cheer!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 0:24:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 17:32:07 GMT
I threw up this morning, no one got me a balloon No balloon but a cheer! I feel so special now Save
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 11, 2017 17:33:46 GMT
Yet we celebrate birthdays - just a normal bodily function of being alive another day. No one thinks that's weird. And they come every year, not just once in a lifetime. Birthdays imo are about celebrating a person as a whole not about celebrating a 'bodily function'. I threw up this morning, no one got me a balloon SaveHere you go lainey (I hope it shows up) 🎈
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Post by melanell on Apr 11, 2017 17:36:06 GMT
No kidding! I always felt that would be best. Jeez, I had my period for 18 years before I was actually ready to have a kid. 18 years!! I could have happily lived without it for all of those years. I got my period at 13 and stopped at 55. I had 2 pregnancies and 2 babies, so that is about 480 unneeded periods over 40 years. There was about a decade of my life when my cycle was exactly 35 days long. Every 35 days, no variation. I loved that decade because it meant that over the course of every year I had 2-3 less periods than when my cycle was right around 28 days. And I was all for less unneeded periods. (That 10 years was during the first 18 years I had it.) Save
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Post by ceepea on Apr 11, 2017 17:37:04 GMT
I don't know of or have any traditions but the day off from school would be nice. Maybe shopping and lunch or something like that just to show her that you can do anything you normally would do with your period. Of course, I would never turn down a weekend trip either! I think taking your cue from her is your best bet. If she doesn't want to make a big deal then don't. Sometimes the things we think our kids would like aren't always what they have in mind. Don't feel bad if she doesn't want to do anything or acknowledge it in any way.
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Post by melanell on Apr 11, 2017 17:38:19 GMT
Really? Birth is a bodily function. . Don't you think it's the baby we're celebrating, not the process? If we were celebrating the process, then I would get the gifts once a year for each kid instead of them getting the gifts, right? Hey, I think I could get on board with this idea! Save
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Post by roberta on Apr 11, 2017 17:38:59 GMT
Oh I am SOOO glad my mother didn't "celebrate" this with me. Dear god WHY??? I celebrated menopause! No more debilitating pain!
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Post by lisacharlotte on Apr 11, 2017 17:40:04 GMT
At 12 i did not want any acknowledgement. It's a dicey age for being embarrassed by our changing bodies. If your daughter is on board, go for it. If not, please leave her in peace about it.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 11, 2017 17:45:07 GMT
While everyone is sharing their opinions/stories.. I feel like there should be a celebration for the last period a woman ever gets!! Like a trip to Hawaii or Italy!! Now that I would be in for 1000%!!
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Apr 11, 2017 17:50:23 GMT
Oh please don't do this. Cultures that celebrate it were in the past when you didn't live past 40 and it was linked to being ready for marriage, you became a child bride.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Apr 11, 2017 17:53:05 GMT
Don't you think it's the baby we're celebrating, not the process? If we were celebrating the process, then I would get the gifts once a year for each kid instead of them getting the gifts, right? Hey, I think I could get on board with this idea! SaveI always call my mom on my birthday to say thank you
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Apr 11, 2017 17:53:26 GMT
Yet we celebrate birthdays - just a normal bodily function of being alive another day. No one thinks that's weird. And they come every year, not just once in a lifetime. not everyone celebrates birthdays, either, fyi. as for the thread topic, I think the whole 'starting your period' thing is really dependent on a lot of things-- your relationship with your daughter, and how it turns out for her are two of them. I got the booklet / movie treatment, too (it was the late 1970s), and no talk whatsoever from my mom. Maybe having 'the talk' with her would have been okay (really, it would have been weird, lol) but right from the start, periods for me were NOT something to be celebrated. Horrible PMS, migraines, cramps that needed Rx medication to control, etc. And FYI, I never ever really wanted to have kids. So the ability to give birth isn't really such a special thing for every woman, either- it's also 'just a biological function' when you think about it. I remember horrible cramps and an occasion when I was about 16- and my Mom saying something about 'it's all so you can have a baby someday' and my reply was 'what if I don't want kids? can't we do something to just switch it off now?' because for a week out of every month (I was unfortunately VERY regular-- every 28 days), I was literally miserable-- mentally AND physically. Periods weren't cause for celebration for me, ever. Getting on birth control pills for the cramps / PMS were helpful, but the fibroids didn't go away completely, and did get worse as I got older... after my hysterectomy a few years ago, I realized how 'off' I had felt for a REALLY long time. THAT'S when I should have celebrated, lol! oh, and lainey- yay!! for you!! (not 'yay' for throwing up, necessarily, but hopefully you felt better afterwards, lol.)
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Post by papersilly on Apr 11, 2017 18:00:58 GMT
Birthdays imo are about celebrating a person as a whole not about celebrating a 'bodily function'. I threw up this morning, no one got me a balloon Saveomg, this thread is so ridiculous, I love it! Honestly, Zingermack, you are pulling our leg with all that, right? LOL i haven't read through all 5 pages of responses but i was thinking the same thing. when i read the thread title, i thought, "you have got to be kidding me!". while i wasn't ashamed of starting my period, we CERTAINLY didn't celebrate it, or go on a girls weekend, or have special gift. like seriously with this. maybe it's a cultural thing but our family certainly didn't celebrate this kind of thing. we knew it would happen. it happened. that is that. i could just hear in my head what my husband's family would say if i brought up celebrating getting a first period---"ta loca".
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Post by busy on Apr 11, 2017 18:02:24 GMT
I don't have a daughter, but if I did, it's not something I would be inclined to celebrate. But if it feels right for the relationship between you and your daughter, more power to you. Do a little something to mark the transition.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 0:24:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 18:07:30 GMT
oh, and lainey- yay!! for you!! (not 'yay' for throwing up, necessarily, but hopefully you felt better afterwards, lol.) Much better thanks
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Post by Judie in Oz on Apr 11, 2017 18:30:52 GMT
While everyone is sharing their opinions/stories.. I feel like there should be a celebration for the last period a woman ever gets!! Like a trip to Hawaii or Italy!! Now that I would be in for 1000%!! The problem is, you don't know it's the last until a year has gone by. I think I would have celebrated had I known at the time.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 11, 2017 19:12:55 GMT
I began the summer I was age 11. By the time I was in high school I had terrible cramps each month, to the point of vomiting. Periods were every 32 days, but heavy and lasted a week....That continued until I was age 21, got married and began taking the BC pill. Sweet hallijulah! No cramps! A 5 day period! ....and when I got off the pill, that first month, the pain was like it had saved all the pain for 7 years and was inflicting it NOW. OMG....After I had a child, the cramps left. Even with all that, I saw it as just a part of nature and a body function. No reason to celebrate or announce to the world. Years ago, our neighbor told me when her daughter had her first period. I felt bad for the daughter, who was visibly embarrassed. You went through all that and never discussed it with your sisters? I can't imagine. I have 7 sisters.. they taught me how to use a tampon.. and we shared the ups and downs of perimenopause, and when our daughters started (mine started quite late so it was good to hear other experiences). To each, their own and no one should feel they have to discuss it with anyone. From this thread and this is not meant to you Librarylady. There still seems to be a lot of negative feelings around women having their periods. I think that is too bad. I didn't "love" having mine... especially the last few years, but I appreciated what it represented to me as a woman. I think when we are uncomfortable talking about things they become taboo and often hidden, and they can be shameful. Shame is such a horrible and unnecessary emotion.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 11, 2017 19:14:22 GMT
Don't you think it's the baby we're celebrating, not the process? Seems like kind of both really. There is the whole "push" present...
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tduby1
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Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Apr 11, 2017 19:24:58 GMT
Does anyone have any traditions around marking a girl's first period/start of menstruation? Mother/daughter weekend away? Special gift? Letters to/from each other? Trying to mark this significant transition in dd's life in some way that is positive in nature - even though the underlying system (480 periods to knock out 0-10 kids) is not something I think many of us would design this way if we had a chance. A girlfriend in HS received flowers AT SCHOOL from her dad. She was mortified. I think the thought was very sweet but very poorly executed. My cousin took the day off of work and pampered her daughter. We did not celebrate but for about the first 6 months while she was adjusting, each month when I would buy her sanitary needs I would buy her a few extra treats (chocolate, magazines, a new top, etc) to give her.
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 11, 2017 19:28:20 GMT
There is the whole "push" present... I had to google that and it seems like such a silly term, it's a gift to the new mother from a spouse. I can't imagine getting something like flowers and saying yeah that's my PUSH present. I don't know why that bugs me so much.
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Post by papersilly on Apr 11, 2017 19:30:35 GMT
While everyone is sharing their opinions/stories.. I feel like there should be a celebration for the last period a woman ever gets!! Like a trip to Hawaii or Italy!! Now that I would be in for 1000%!! omg for sure we should celebrate that!! my celebration came the day i had my hysterectomy. what a joy to throw out all the pads, tampons and period panties. it's been a celebration every time i bought white pants, white sheets, white anything without ever worrying again if those would get ruined.
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 11, 2017 19:31:02 GMT
Yet we celebrate birthdays - just a normal bodily function of being alive another day. No one thinks that's weird. And they come every year, not just once in a lifetime. Birthdays imo are about celebrating a person as a whole not about celebrating a 'bodily function'. I threw up this morning, no one got me a balloon SaveI'm officially changing the term birthday to proof my parents had sex day.
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