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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 16, 2017 17:26:15 GMT
This place. *sigh* So, without wading too deep into the waters of this argument (discussion?), let me please just say WHITE PEOPLE: We do not get to tell people of color how to be angry or how angry they can be. We just don't. So stop it. Omg, YES! Thank you. I've been reading this whole thread hoping and wishing someone would say this, and shocked when no one did. I haven't even finished reading but I had to stop and say that. REading this thread reminds me of how incredibly, deeply ingrained racism is into this country. So many people honestly believe that race doesn't matter to them, they treat everyone the same, and yet....
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Jul 16, 2017 17:36:48 GMT
Listen I'm sorry many of you feel the way that you feel. Continue bashing me in an attempt to silence very real issues. We've already established that you don't care what I think so I'm puzzled why the inflammatory language and bang wagon jumping. I'm a racist bitch that everyone hates. But how does that change who you are? I can tell you why I reacted negatively. I made a comment about a poorly made picture, and then later said that I wasn't a fan of "people who sell their dignity for fame". Neither one of those things had ANYTHING to do with hatred OR race OR women's rights, yet I was suddenly accused of being a hater of black women and a closet racist. Equality on every level is something I'm passionate about, so that accusation was deeply offensive to me. You don't know me from Adam, yet you automatically assumed that I was something that completely disgusts me.
Nothing about this conversation changes who I am. Other than being a little embarrassed that I allowed myself to be sucked into it.
I agree that concerns about racism are very real issues. I don't think anyone can argue with that. But coming onto an anonymous message board and lobbing blanket accusations filled with unnecessary vitriol is going to contribute exactly ZERO towards having the true discussions that need to be had. It's only going to fuel more animosity and distance. The problem goes both ways, and until both sides can agree to work together to work at resolving the issues in a peaceful, constructive manner, nothing is going to change.
That is my answer to your question, take it for what you will. And FTR, I voted for Hillary. Because I thought she was the best candidate for the job. Her being the first female president would have been a nice bonus but it didn't make or break my decision.
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
Enter your message here...
Posts: 4,053
Jul 13, 2014 21:23:27 GMT
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Post by Olan on Jul 16, 2017 17:52:02 GMT
Listen I'm sorry many of you feel the way that you feel. Continue bashing me in an attempt to silence very real issues. We've already established that you don't care what I think so I'm puzzled why the inflammatory language and bang wagon jumping. I'm a racist bitch that everyone hates. But how does that change who you are? I can tell you why I reacted negatively. I made a comment about a poorly made picture, and then later said that I wasn't a fan of "people who sell their dignity for fame". Neither one of those things had ANYTHING to do with hatred OR race OR women's rights, yet I was suddenly accused of being a hater of black women and a closet racist. Equality on every level is something I'm passionate about, so that accusation was deeply offensive to me. You don't know me from Adam, yet you automatically assumed that I was something that completely disgusts me.
Nothing about this conversation changes who I am. Other than being a little embarrassed that I allowed myself to be sucked into it.
I agree that concerns about racism are very real issues. I don't think anyone can argue with that. But coming onto an anonymous message board and lobbing blanket accusations filled with unnecessary vitriol is going to contribute exactly ZERO towards having the true discussions that need to be had. It's only going to fuel more animosity and distance. The problem goes both ways, and until both sides can agree to work together to work at resolving the issues in a peaceful, constructive manner, nothing is going to change.
That is my answer to your question, take it for what you will. And FTR, I voted for Hillary. Because I thought she was the best candidate for the job. Her being the first female president would have been a nice bonus but it didn't make or break my decision.
I said white women don't like to see black women win and provided several articles to support that except no one wanted to even peruse through the article to actually discuss it. Instead everyone latched on to what I did not say. I then followed it with white women don't even like to see themselves win and provided the 2016 election to support. No one wanted to argue that one did they *winks* because who could!!!!!!!! The rest of the "unnecessary vitriol" have been in response to personal attacks and even then I've been pretty easy going. Look at the anger in the commentary to me. Then take a look at what adjectives to want me to accept as a description for my behavior. If you feel sucked into a conversation by me please feel free to limit your interactions with me from here on out. We don't have to engage at all. It is true that I feel like many of the peas are lost causes because instead of dialogue most of these conversations are really chances for people to attack my character.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Jul 16, 2017 18:29:25 GMT
I can tell you why I reacted negatively. I made a comment about a poorly made picture, and then later said that I wasn't a fan of "people who sell their dignity for fame". Neither one of those things had ANYTHING to do with hatred OR race OR women's rights, yet I was suddenly accused of being a hater of black women and a closet racist. Equality on every level is something I'm passionate about, so that accusation was deeply offensive to me. You don't know me from Adam, yet you automatically assumed that I was something that completely disgusts me.
Nothing about this conversation changes who I am. Other than being a little embarrassed that I allowed myself to be sucked into it.
I agree that concerns about racism are very real issues. I don't think anyone can argue with that. But coming onto an anonymous message board and lobbing blanket accusations filled with unnecessary vitriol is going to contribute exactly ZERO towards having the true discussions that need to be had. It's only going to fuel more animosity and distance. The problem goes both ways, and until both sides can agree to work together to work at resolving the issues in a peaceful, constructive manner, nothing is going to change.
That is my answer to your question, take it for what you will. And FTR, I voted for Hillary. Because I thought she was the best candidate for the job. Her being the first female president would have been a nice bonus but it didn't make or break my decision.
I said white women don't like to see black women win and provided several articles to support that except no one wanted to even peruse through the article to actually discuss it. Instead everyone latched on to what I did not say. I then followed it with white women don't even like to see themselves win and provided the 2016 election to support. No one wanted to argue that one did they *winks* because who could!!!!!!!! The rest of the "unnecessary vitriol" have been in response to personal attacks and even then I've been pretty easy going. Look at the anger in the commentary to me. Then take a look at what adjectives to want me to accept as a description for my behavior. If you feel sucked into a conversation by me please feel free to limit your interactions with me from here on out. We don't have to engage at all. It is true that I feel like many of the peas are lost causes because instead of dialogue most of these conversations are really chances for people to attack my character.
See, this is the reason I did react negatively, and I presume many others as well. I felt as if my character was being attacked, because the things I was being accused of couldn't have been farther from the truth, and when I attempted to explain who I was, I was shut down to the point of being gaslighted.
I'm all for dialogue and meaningful conversation with the goal of reconciliation - it's what I was raised to believe in and frankly is one of the cornerstones of my heritage, as well as modern day. But that has to start with respect and open-mindedness on BOTH sides, which isn't going to happen with making these blanket accusations* and then being so defensive when those accusations are challenged.
I think you have so much passion for this subject that you could really make a lot of positive progress, but you need to channel that passion into positive, respectful interaction with other people, rather than automatically assuming everyone is a racist *******. I really think you'll be surprised at how many of us think differently than you think we do.
*Such as the 2016 election. I was as devastated by the outcome as you were. And the statistics of the % of white women that voted for Trump is disheartening, for sure. My Mom, Sister, MIL, extended family members as well as myself, are part of the % that DID vote for Sec. Clinton. That said, I don't know that it's fair to determine that all white women don't want to see women succeed, just from that statistic. My guess is that there were a number of factors that contributed to the votes - especially the number of people who detested her as an individual, not as a woman. It would definitely be an interesting study. No doubt there probably are SOME women who feel that way, and that disgusts me as it does you. But certainly not all of them. I feel confident that if white women were polled with "Do you want to see women succeed", the results would be vastly different from the election outcome.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 16, 2017 18:51:55 GMT
Had to scan the link 3 times before I realized the babies were in her arms. Lol. Olan The only thing I'm going to say to you is this, and I am entirely serious: I often don't even recognize race as an important detail in many threads until you enter. Think about that for a minute. I see a woman, Beyonce, surrounded by flowers. Apparently holding babies. Then you said but she's black. And then I am made aware again, by you, the color of someone's skin. I was raised to see the color of someone's skin to be no different than the color of their hair, or eyes, and it's really starting to piss me off that now I'm recognizing color. As if it's fucking important I identify them by their color. With me, maybe others here, your comments are counterintuitive. I swear I never recognized Simone as black, just a crazy talented gymnast who was also a fantastic dancer. I see her character and talent, and I'm pissed you make me see her as a color. Stop making me see only color; the women you list are so much more than that. Olan are you not going to respond?
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 16, 2017 19:00:58 GMT
Had to scan the link 3 times before I realized the babies were in her arms. Lol. Olan The only thing I'm going to say to you is this, and I am entirely serious: I often don't even recognize race as an important detail in many threads until you enter. Think about that for a minute. I see a woman, Beyonce, surrounded by flowers. Apparently holding babies. Then you said but she's black. And then I am made aware again, by you, the color of someone's skin. I was raised to see the color of someone's skin to be no different than the color of their hair, or eyes, and it's really starting to piss me off that now I'm recognizing color. As if it's fucking important I identify them by their color. With me, maybe others here, your comments are counterintuitive. I swear I never recognized Simone as black, just a crazy talented gymnast who was also a fantastic dancer. I see her character and talent, and I'm pissed you make me see her as a color. Stop making me see only color; the women you list are so much more than that. Olan are you not going to respond? She did respond, but I don't think she quoted you...I'll see if I can find it...
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 16, 2017 19:04:40 GMT
Question: why should anyone apologise for something they themselves didn't do? And how far back would you expect someone to count which ancestors they are apologising for? Should I apologise to myself? Why shouldn't we "go there" when it comes to the history of slavery? Why is only your point of view the valid one? Why do you sneer at a person who is part native American? Because only black people's suffering count? Which article did you read? And what comment of mine discounts the suffering of any group of people? No worries on the apologies. Unless it's for the 2016 election What bothers me is being told that the reason I dislike Beyonce is that she's black and I hate watching women (black or white) succeed. Then simply disagree and move on with your fucking day. Don't call me bitter and angry and try to discount my experience as a black woman. Don't tell me you don't see color when I talk about Serena or Simone. FYI They want to be seen as black women. No one wants that whole color blind garbage anymore. We get how dangerous that is too. Okay, she was technically responding to someone else in this post...I was remembering that last paragraph and thought it was in response to you, PrettyinPeank.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 16, 2017 19:06:41 GMT
The thing is, if you REFUSE to see color, and how that affects every single piece of a person's life, you ARE refusing to them as a whole person.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 16, 2017 19:17:06 GMT
Never said I refused to see color. I see someone's skin color like I see their long nails or curly hair. It's a part of them, but it's not who they are.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 16, 2017 19:18:41 GMT
For example, I have no idea what color eyes 45 has. I have seen hundreds of photos of him, but it's not an important detail. See what I mean?
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Post by mollycoddle on Jul 16, 2017 19:20:15 GMT
Well, considering that when the US was being created my ancestors were losing their land and during the civil war the other half were living in Germany, soon to move to Russia to take over working the land for a better life (which never really came and why they came to the US at the turn of the century). But I'm supposed to apologize for every white man who lived in the US because I'm white that's all it takes to be complicit in the institution of slavery? Slavery which has existed in the world since society began and tribes formed and has been practiced by people of ALL races? And is still practiced today in some societies? America doesn't want to say sorry. The peas told me so in another thread of mine. So no worries about apologizing for white men. You just keep reaping the rewards sister *thumbs up*. You could also save your apologies until after 45's impeachment. That's a modern day instance of white women falling in line with systemic (I love this autocorrect) racism. And you are wrong. Do you know what made Chattle slavery different from all the rest? Anyone? Does anyone know if any other group of people used the word of God as a way to enslave another group of people? Has that been studied? It would be more accurate to say "many white women" or something similar. I refuse to be lumped in with anyone who voted for Trump. Many of us here loathe him and Pence as well. He will be judged as one of the worst Presidents, if not the worst. So please, that is not a group that I wish to belong to. ETA: I can't answer your question about chattel slavery, although I do know what chattel means.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 16, 2017 19:35:15 GMT
For example, I have no idea what color eyes 45 has. I have seen hundreds of photos of him, but it's not an important detail. See what I mean? But if you think race is as irrelevant as eye color then....I don't know what to tell you. That is a very naive way of seeing the world, but I don't think most people see it that way. Yet in your post to Olan about how you don't see race as important, you also said that you see Beyonce as a woman. Why do you feel like her gender is an important part of who she is as a person, but not her race? Both are essential parts of her identity!
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Post by miominmio on Jul 16, 2017 19:37:56 GMT
Question: why should anyone apologise for something they themselves didn't do? And how far back would you expect someone to count which ancestors they are apologising for? Should I apologise to myself? Why shouldn't we "go there" when it comes to the history of slavery? Why is only your point of view the valid one? Why do you sneer at a person who is part native American? Because only black people's suffering count? Which article did you read? And what comment of mine discounts the suffering of any group of people? No worries on the apologies. Unless it's for the 2016 election What bothers me is being told that the reason I dislike Beyonce is that she's black and I hate watching women (black or white) succeed. Then simply disagree and move on with your fucking day. Don't call me bitter and angry and try to discount my experience as a black woman. Don't tell me you don't see color when I talk about Serena or Simone. FYI They want to be seen as black women. No one wants that whole color blind garbage anymore. We get how dangerous that is too. I haven't read A article. I read books. Thousand and thousand of pages of history books. And I don't think I need to apologise for the 2016 election, I'm not American. And can you tell me where I have said I dislike Beyonce? I'm aware of who she is, but I haven't read/seen/heard enough about her to form an opinion. I'm so old that I haven't listen to much pop music since Wham! and Duran Duran was popular. If you are going to quote me, please do not add things I have not said. And FTR: I do not discount your experiences. What I'm taking exception to, is that you continuously discount other people's experiences (like the part Native American lady you responded to), that you mention ancestors (because if you do, my ancestors' experiences are just as valid as your ancestors') and that to you, it seems that if someone has a lighter skin tone than you, they are by default racists.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 16, 2017 20:02:45 GMT
For example, I have no idea what color eyes 45 has. I have seen hundreds of photos of him, but it's not an important detail. See what I mean? But if you think race is as irrelevant as eye color then....I don't know what to tell you. That is a very naive way of seeing the world, but I don't think most people see it that way. Yet in your post to Olan about how you don't see race as important, you also said that you see Beyonce as a woman. Why do you feel like her gender is an important part of who she is as a person, but not her race? Both are essential parts of her identity! You are putting words in my mouth. Are we looking for equality or not? Are you saying you want me and others to see race first? To identify individuals by race before sex?
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jul 16, 2017 21:01:33 GMT
So apparently i'm only supposed to vote for women because I'm a woman? If I was a woman running for office, i better not plan on any men voting for me? Because vaginas and penises are the deciding factors in politics?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 16:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2017 21:12:28 GMT
Beyonce hate . No, I don't like her, don't listen to her music, don't like her kids names, and her photos are ridiculously over the top. No, I don't hate her, but I don't care for her, and I am welcome to express my opinion. I don't care for Oprah, either. Kudos her for making her life what it is, but that doesn't mean I have to like her. If you were to really examine the reasons why you "don't care" for Oprah where would the dislike stem from though? I would love for everyone who hates Oprah to write one simple emotionless reason why. Try it. Beyonce doesn't have any behaviors that would set her apart from any other celebrities. Yet you'd think she was the only one by reading here. No vain celebrity before her. Start a thread about professional tennis and you'd get the same thing. When Tiger Woods won the Masters they tried to bring him down to size with the collard green and watermelon jokes. Why? White people don't like to see black people dominate things. Simone Biles just got called "trash" and told she wasn't a good role model for excessive vacationing. Why? White people think we should work like dogs and aren't comfortable with black joy. I used to love love love Oprah. I loved the things she said that made me think and uplifted me. She always wanted to be a teacher and I think she succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. Somewhere along the way, her messages seemed to change to a different focus and I think I just lost interest.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,710
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Jul 16, 2017 22:11:51 GMT
For example, I have no idea what color eyes 45 has. I have seen hundreds of photos of him, but it's not an important detail. See what I mean? Are you really comparing the eye color of a man you have never seen in person to my skin color? Really? Really... ? SaveSave
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 16:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2017 23:40:20 GMT
and just like that - back at the redneck shaming! they aren't shooting at a baby for cripes sake if they shoot in their real life what is so strange about shooting at a target OH MY GAWD - those weird 'southerners' are at it again gina Babies (in or out of utero) and guns is plain weird. Its weird. The whole thing (and that it's a thing) is weird. I just have to clarify, it's a box not a baby.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 16:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2017 0:04:41 GMT
In said this in another thread a while back but it bears repeating here. I think that looking at a person for who they are isn't ignoring the color of their skin. It's saying yes, you are black, but that isnt what makes up your entire being and it won't be the only thing that determines how I decide what you're all about as a person. I don't see that as offensive, I see that as the goal to reach for everyone.
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Post by padresfan619 on Jul 17, 2017 0:07:02 GMT
I can understand wanting to make skin color not matter as a white person, I used to be like that. It is perfectly acceptable to acknowledge race. Recongnize people for their backgrounds and recognize that they have a different life because of their skin color. To ignore that is to be willfully ignorant even if you "don't see color."
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jul 17, 2017 0:07:15 GMT
For example, I have no idea what color eyes 45 has. I have seen hundreds of photos of him, but it's not an important detail. See what I mean? Are you really comparing the eye color of a man you have never seen in person to my skin color? Really? Really... ? SaveSaveto be perfectly technical about it, I've never seen you, either... (to my knowledge, you don't post photos)... unless you're green and round. Because you don't have a photo of yourself as an avatar. The way I'm understanding what she's saying, she is using Trump's eye color to illustrate that there are HUNDREDS of details that make up the sum total of a person, not just one or two.
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 17, 2017 0:44:57 GMT
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,710
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Jul 17, 2017 0:55:35 GMT
Are you really comparing the eye color of a man you have never seen in person to my skin color? Really? Really... ? SaveSaveto be perfectly technical about it, I've never seen you, either... (to my knowledge, you don't post photos)... unless you're green and round. Because you don't have a photo of yourself as an avatar. The way I'm understanding what she's saying, she is using Trump's eye color to illustrate that there are HUNDREDS of details that make up the sum total of a person, not just one or two. That's not my point. Sigh. You don't get it because you cannot see from MY perceptive and I'm sorry, You never will. My skin color defines me, even if I didn't want it to. My eye color nor yours doesn't. To pretend my skin and eye color are equivalent and some minor detail is absolutely belittling. Eye color didn't get members of my family blasted by hoses but their skin color sure did. It's a hurtful comment. But as a white woman, you cannot see that. I rarely get racial on this board, but sometimes this board frustrates me more than y'all could ever know.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 17, 2017 1:02:21 GMT
Please understand that I am not saying I "don't see color." Of course I do! Let's not be ridiculous. But I don't see it as character-defining. Does that make sense? My whole life I was taught judge by character, not skin color; are you saying those are the same??
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jul 17, 2017 5:06:54 GMT
^^^ PrettyInPeank , thank you for trying to explain. it sounds like if you're some other race than Caucasian, you can judge by character, but if you're Caucasian, you automatically judge by skin color no matter what you *think* you're doing. I like to think my parents raised me to be smarter than that, but apparently I'm wrong, no matter how *I* think I'm behaving. Being told I'm wrong by people who have never met me, to boot-- isn't that the height of hypocrisy, in this context? We're all supposed to judge others as individuals, right? ...but we're not being believed when we say that's what we ARE doing. If that's what's going on here, how are we EVER supposed to move forward?
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Post by miominmio on Jul 17, 2017 5:57:36 GMT
^^^ PrettyInPeank , thank you for trying to explain. it sounds like if you're some other race than Caucasian, you can judge by character, but if you're Caucasian, you automatically judge by skin color no matter what you *think* you're doing. I like to think my parents raised me to be smarter than that, but apparently I'm wrong, no matter how *I* think I'm behaving. Being told I'm wrong by people who have never met me, to boot-- isn't that the height of hypocrisy, in this context? We're all supposed to judge others as individuals, right? ...but we're not being believed when we say that's what we ARE doing. If that's what's going on here, how are we EVER supposed to move forward? I think you were just told that seeing a black person (I'm not sure if it was just black persons or if all other skin tones than white were included) as an individual was belittling. To me, as an outsider, this seems like a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation, and that, unless you acknowledge that you are a terrible racist and guilty of centuries of oppression, you are in fact a terrible racist guilty of centuries of oppression, but you either lie about it or are in serious need of some Soul searching.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 17, 2017 8:08:04 GMT
But if you think race is as irrelevant as eye color then....I don't know what to tell you. That is a very naive way of seeing the world, but I don't think most people see it that way. Yet in your post to Olan about how you don't see race as important, you also said that you see Beyonce as a woman. Why do you feel like her gender is an important part of who she is as a person, but not her race? Both are essential parts of her identity! You are putting words in my mouth. Are we looking for equality or not? Are you saying you want me and others to see race first? To identify individuals by race before sex? lol...see, and I feel as though you are also putting words in my mouth. I didn't say that you should identify people by race before sex, or sex before race. I'm just saying that race is an integral part of who a person is, esp. if they are a person of color, esp. if they grew up in the US. To discount that experience, that identity, is to not see that person as whole. Before we can have equality, we have to start really seeing each other, and where others are coming from.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 17, 2017 8:11:10 GMT
I can understand wanting to make skin color not matter as a white person, I used to be like that. It is perfectly acceptable to acknowledge race. Recongnize people for their backgrounds and recognize that they have a different life because of their skin color. To ignore that is to be willfully ignorant even if you "don't see color." Yes! This is what I was trying to say; perhaps I didn't say it as well.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 17, 2017 8:23:23 GMT
Please understand that I am not saying I "don't see color." Of course I do! Let's not be ridiculous. But I don't see it as character-defining. Does that make sense? My whole life I was taught judge by character, not skin color; are you saying those are the same?? Of course we should be judging by character and not by skin color. I don't think anyone is arguing with you on that, unless I missed it. Where the dispute began was with YOU saying you don't notice Beyonce is black, until someone points it out. What several of us are trying to tell you is that by not "noticing" that Beyonce, or any other black person, is black, you are saying a integral part of her/them doesn't matter, and is as inconsequential as eye color. But no one is being killed because of their eye color. No one calls out racial slurs to someone in the street over their of eye color, or won't allow their daughter to date someone because they think someone with that eye color isn't good enough for them. No one is less likely to be hired because of eye color.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 17, 2017 8:37:38 GMT
^^^ PrettyInPeank , thank you for trying to explain. it sounds like if you're some other race than Caucasian, you can judge by character, but if you're Caucasian, you automatically judge by skin color no matter what you *think* you're doing. I like to think my parents raised me to be smarter than that, but apparently I'm wrong, no matter how *I* think I'm behaving. Being told I'm wrong by people who have never met me, to boot-- isn't that the height of hypocrisy, in this context? We're all supposed to judge others as individuals, right? ...but we're not being believed when we say that's what we ARE doing. If that's what's going on here, how are we EVER supposed to move forward? I think you were just told that seeing a black person (I'm not sure if it was just black persons or if all other skin tones than white were included) as an individual was belittling. To me, as an outsider, this seems like a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation, and that, unless you acknowledge that you are a terrible racist and guilty of centuries of oppression, you are in fact a terrible racist guilty of centuries of oppression, but you either lie about it or are in serious need of some Soul searching. I don't think that's what Dani-Mani was saying at all. Seeing a black person as an individual is not belittling; refusing to recognize that being black is a major part of who she is as a person is belittling. It's like a man telling you that your unique experiences as a woman don't matter to him. He doesn't see you as a woman; he sees you as a person. Oh and yeah, things like date rape and violence against women happen, and women are still paid less than men who do the same job, but he doesn't do those things, so why are they a problem he should worry about? Sure, he might have friends and coworkers who think women are "less than", but don't be angry and upset about it...think how far things have come for women, and be happy about that! Heck, remember when you couldn't even vote or own property! Maybe instead of getting worked up about women's equality, you should go help people who are less fortunate in life. Yes, I'm being tongue-in-cheek in that last paragraph, but I've seen statements like these in this thread, only about race instead of gender.
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