michellegb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,918
Location: New England and loving it!
Jun 26, 2014 0:04:59 GMT
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Post by michellegb on Feb 2, 2019 10:31:28 GMT
Adding to the big hugs pile on and sending so many prayers that there is a good outcome for your son and your family. I can't imagine how hard this is and I wish strength and peace for you and your family.
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Post by monklady123 on Feb 2, 2019 11:17:29 GMT
So glad you found a place for him. I remember when you posted originally, I thought "wow, what if the only available place they can find is in Ohio or Missouri or somewhere far away"... So Richmond seems good! Will you be allowed to see him while he's there or would that be too disruptive?
I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday and hoping that the drive down goes smoothly. And that the program works as it should and his meds get adjusted properly, and that the 3 months will be good for him and you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 30, 2024 9:24:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2019 11:21:00 GMT
Sending you and your family a big elaine. Sometimes the decisions we as parents have to make is truly heart wrenching at the time but ultimately they are, more often than not, the right ones.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,012
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Feb 2, 2019 11:26:36 GMT
elaine, big big hugs to you and your family. Good parents make the hard decisions not the easy ones and you, my friend, are a good parent. Give yourself permission to aid your own recovery over the next three months. I really hope that Eli's meds are adjusted in a way that really helps him and by extension the rest of the family. (((Hugs)))
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Feb 2, 2019 11:42:52 GMT
I did not see this in another thread, so I appreciate Elaine's explanation further up-thread. I am sure this is wrenching, but the promise of what it might mean for Eli's life and his family is worth it. I hope they are able to provide help to you all. I'll be thinking of you and hope you keep us posted. We care.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Feb 2, 2019 11:48:19 GMT
So many ((((hugs))) elaine ! Lots of positive thoughts for your son's meds to be figured out during this time, and for him to be able to come home calmer. Be kind to yourself. You are strong and wonderful, and deserve to take care of yourself during this time. (((Hugs)))
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Post by stargazer on Feb 2, 2019 12:00:08 GMT
Thoughts & prayers for you all.
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tuesdaysgone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,832
Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Feb 2, 2019 12:27:30 GMT
I'm glad you found placement for him. I'm thinking of your family and sending support. I really can't imagine how very difficult this must be.
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Post by jenjie on Feb 2, 2019 12:32:39 GMT
Elaine I missed your other thread. I’m so sorry my friend. You are such a good mama to both of your sons. Praying for you all.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Feb 2, 2019 12:38:41 GMT
May this be the start of a successful treatment plan for Eli and peace for him and your family together at home. Elaine, you are brave and tenacious. You are a fierce mama! (((HUGS))) for all you've been through and all you face.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,790
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Feb 2, 2019 12:43:40 GMT
I can't begin to imagine the difficulty of the decision you and your Dh had to make. Sometimes the best thing for our kids is the hardest. Sending love and prayers that all goes well Tuesday. Hugs....
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,080
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Feb 2, 2019 12:44:00 GMT
My thoughts are with you and your family Elaine.
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Post by destined2bmom on Feb 2, 2019 13:13:04 GMT
elaine I missed the other thread. But I want to send you many hugs and love! 💕💕💕💕💕 I know this decision must be very hard and heartbreaking for you and your family. Also, sending my prayers to your family. refugeepea Sending many hugs, love and prayers to you and your family. 💕💕💕💕💕 I hope that you can find help for your children.
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Post by meriannj on Feb 2, 2019 13:13:33 GMT
Sending lots of love and good thoughts to you all. It never easy making decisions that break your heart but I am sure in the long run it will be the best one.
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Post by pelirroja on Feb 2, 2019 13:22:02 GMT
elaine sending many prayers to you and your family. If you remember Tara Whitney (one of 2P's Garden Girls), she has a blog post from July 23, 2014. It is well worth reading and it's called "When McKenna Turned 18". ((hugs))
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 30, 2024 9:24:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2019 13:23:34 GMT
Much love, hugs and peace elaine
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Post by evnimom on Feb 2, 2019 13:24:39 GMT
I'm sending love and thoughts for you elaine and refugeepea. You are both very strong ladies and I admire you.
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Post by hop2 on Feb 2, 2019 13:28:40 GMT
elaine Hugs, your doing what’s best for your child. May this bring him the help he needs. Peace & Love refugeepea Hugs I hope you can find the resources your children need.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 2, 2019 13:30:05 GMT
I can’t imagine how heartbreaking and yet the relief at an actual placement. Sending tons of hope your way that your son receives the help he needs to set him up for a successful transition back home and beyond.
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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 13:34:51 GMT
I can’t even begin to imagine how you’re feeling right now, but am sending you gentle cyber hugs.
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hendersn
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Jun 27, 2014 1:31:41 GMT
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Post by hendersn on Feb 2, 2019 13:35:44 GMT
elaine - I am the mom of a 25 year old son who has autism, intellectual disability, and epilepsy. My family feels like we barely survived his teen years. He is now living in a group home 10 minutes from our house, and seems to have stabilized and his behavior is so much better than it was. I hope you have good outcomes from his placement and it brings your family some peace.
Sue
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 2, 2019 13:36:16 GMT
I am adding my love for you and your family, elaine. I hope it all goes well.
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Post by elaine on Feb 2, 2019 13:36:39 GMT
Elaine I missed your other thread. I’m so sorry my friend. You are such a good mama to both of your sons. Praying for you all. The other thread is that long “state of mental health” thread: 2peasrefugees.boards.net/thread/88146/state-mental-health-care-usaIt has been a long journey - nightmarish at times - to find him a place that will keep us all safe. I long to live in a house again where I don’t have to hide all my cutting knives in the kitchen, and he still pulls butter knives on us. Mental illness is so hard. He can be an amazingly joyful boy one moment and then be hitting, kicking and biting just a few minutes later. At 6’1” he is the tallest member of the household, and while I am 5’8”, I’m no match physically any more. Our household revolves around avoiding huge meltdowns and we are mostly unsuccessful. I feel like a failure - I have not been able to get him to adulthood so that he can live with others safely. He is currently threatening me with a butter knife because he wants me to buy him a new Apple phone. This is a typical Saturday morning. He is just so unhappy and angry all the time. I hope that they are able, over the three months, are able to help get the behavior under control and thereby is happier. On the bright side, we are going to an advanced screening of How to Train Your Dragon today, so we will have 2-3 hours where he will be happy.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Feb 2, 2019 13:37:17 GMT
(((Hugs)))
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Post by elaine on Feb 2, 2019 13:46:13 GMT
The lack of resources for these kids also frightening - my kids we born at the beginning of the current autism epidemic wave. There are going to be more and more of large teens/young adults with autism who are larger than their parents and we need a way to intervene that works to keep everyone safe. Because we, as a society, are doing less than minimal for what these kids and families need. It is become a growing crisis. I'm afraid for what will happen with my son too. He's only 10 and my body is beat up. I don't know how many years he's been on a waiver waiting list. I will probably be in the same position in a few years.
My daughter is 17 as well and I'm at a loss of what to do with her for multiple other reasons. How do you convince an extremely smart girl to continue her education when her maturity level is a ten year old with giant anxiety issues?
Sorry to add this to your thread. You know I understand. I'm amazed that you're hanging in there! Especially with your cancer.
(((Hugs))) I hope that you never get where we are with my son, but if you do, please use me for info and support. (((Hugs))) We’ve been on the Waiver list for 6 years now. We were certain that with his increased aggression and my cancer that we would get one this year and were devastated that we were turned down again. I am going through the process of appealing the decision, but don’t hold any hope for it. Our only hope is if we get one of the new few slots that have opened. It is disheartening. There are a number of colleges and universities that offer programs that might help your daughter. Northern VA Community College has one called College Steps. It is set up to help kids with special needs succeed at college. I’m not sure what state you are in, but there may be something locally. My older son with autism is struggling through his first year at NoVA (the community college) and we will enroll him in the college steps program next year. We should have done it this year, but we thought he might do okay without all the extra support - it is pricey, costing more than the tuition for the year, but would be worth it if he successfully passes all of his classes, rather than just some of them.
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Post by Skellinton on Feb 2, 2019 13:53:13 GMT
Oh, Elaine, you are not a failure. You love your son fiercely, you are fighting for him, you are advocating for him, you are caring for him in the best way possible. There are some things all the love in the world just can’t fix. I am glad you have a placement for him and I hope that it will result in your Eli and your family finding peace.
I am sorry that our mental health care is so effing poor in this country. Your son is lucky to have you fighting for him.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,684
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Feb 2, 2019 13:53:54 GMT
I can't imagine what you're going through but I know you well enough to know you didn't come to this decision lightly. Hopefully they can get his meds leveled out and he returns as a happier, calmer version of the boy you love in a few short months.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 2, 2019 13:54:29 GMT
Oh elaine I’m so sorry you feel like you’ve failed. You know it’s not true, but as a mother, I know that knowing and feeling can be two totally different things. As parents, all we can do is the best we are equipped to. In your case, you can only do so much. He needs more than you can provide and the state of mental healthcare rarely provides help when it’s best but waits until crisis. Sending tons of 💕💕💕
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Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Feb 2, 2019 14:02:29 GMT
Sending love to you and family, elaine, and hoping that this will be the best for all of you!
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,016
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Feb 2, 2019 14:07:51 GMT
Elaine I am thinking of your family!
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