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Post by papersilly on May 25, 2015 15:33:23 GMT
Aside from the moral disappointment on your part, Someone had better talk to him about the legal ramifications of having sex with a minor (assuming the girl is under 18) and also being in possession of "child pornography" if the girl sends him nude pics or something.
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julieb
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Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
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Post by julieb on May 25, 2015 15:34:00 GMT
Totally agree with compwalla. But I can't keep my mouth shut on this one any longer. Your total blame of the girl is mean and wrong. Girls are not evil seductresses who have magic powers to corrupt your perfect little boy. He's fifteen, and he has urges. Don't shame him for that. And quit blaming the girl exclusively. Even if she's not the ideal girlfriend.
I do agree with this. The girl may have started the conversation(s), but your son continued them. He is not innocent, he is a normal young man.
Do we all wish our kids generation were as innocent as us? Definitely, but it has taken me a long time to realize that it just isn't going to be Happy Days and Brady Bunch for them.
Have a talk with him about respect. I was devastated, pissed off and thought I was a horrible mom when I found a condom in our basement garbage (so much for digging for cans to recycle) that my 20 yo put in there. I talked to him about respect and respect for not having sex in my house.
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Post by nurseypants on May 25, 2015 15:36:32 GMT
I think it will be very difficult for you to have an appropriate conversation with him about respect since you apparently have NONE for his girlfriend. Change your attitude. It's this attitude in parents that creates frat boys who drug and rape girls at their parties.
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Post by Prenticekid on May 25, 2015 15:38:05 GMT
I don't know why, but I am always surprised that people always make out the girl to be an evil seductress and the boy some hapless dufus. So, let's get this straight: your son sent texts of a sexual nature to another child. Your son texted about his hard dick and getting off. That was your kid. I can assure you that your kid gets a hard dick and gets off whether or not that particular girl exists or not. And those other wholesome boys as well. Not a single one of them needs any prodding from any female (or male) ever.
I find it odd that you don't check your son's cell phone. It is a must in this day and age of parenting. And, sneaking around to do so??? You pay for that sh*t. It should be open to you at all times. You and your husband need to come up with some guidelines and rules and then you need to sit your son down for a new reality. He participated in an illegal activity - which you admit he knew was illegal. There are some DAs out there that treat sexting like a terrorist attack - especially during election time. So, he needs to be reminded of that fact.
Just an aside, religion does teach about things besides waiting until marriage - stuff like judging others, being lazy, etc. So, perhaps it might be a good idea to stop focusing on conduct of some other person's child, and work on what is going on in your family. I don't mean that snarky....just that sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees.
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scorpeao
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Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on May 25, 2015 15:43:06 GMT
Totally agree with compwalla. But I can't keep my mouth shut on this one any longer. Your total blame of the girl is mean and wrong. Girls are not evil seductresses who have magic powers to corrupt your perfect little boy. He's fifteen, and he has urges. Don't shame him for that. And quit blaming the girl exclusively. Even if she's not the ideal girlfriend. Oh, but they are...haven't you heard the story of Adam and Eve? It was ALL Eve's fault.
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Post by hop2 on May 25, 2015 15:43:08 GMT
Aside from the moral disappointment on your part, Someone had better talk to him about the legal ramifications of having sex with a minor (assuming the girl is under 18) and also being in possession of "child pornography" if the girl sends him nude pics or something. Yeah that Aside from the modern 'issues' of what electronic bring to the table legally. He's teen exploring his sexuality in a consensual manner. It's HIS sexuality to explore NOT yours. There is no amount of supervision or parenting that can stop them if they really want to. My niece's acquaintance got pregnant in the high school stair well during math class, while she was grounded and being driven to and picked up from school by her parents for being caught hot and heavy with her boyfriend. Alas all the parents did was make it impossible for her to stop at a store andget condoms, now they are grandparents.
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Post by genny on May 25, 2015 15:44:08 GMT
Ok I can feel how upset you are and I totally get it. Something somewhat similar happened with one of my kids last year but went farther. I was pretty devastated when I found out, We've tried to raise our kids with the same values, all while knowing full well they'd probably do what they're gonna do regardless of what WE want for them.
I sat on the information I had for almost 2 weeks, waiting for the kid to come to me about it. I did this for a couple of reasons - I needed to cool my jets and figure out the best way to deal with it, I also wanted her to have a chance to talk to me about it without me coming at her with the way I was feeling about it the situation, which had as much to do with being dishonest and the boy in question as the sexuality part. During that time I monitored her closely - and by that I mean HER - her mood, attitudes, just her demeanor in general and what I saw spoke volumes. She was clearly struggling with what had happened but I decided to deal with it on her time frame. I know her pretty well and I knew she wouldn't be able to NOT talk to me about it evenutally.
When she finally did, what resulted was an amazing bonding time for us. We talked for hours. She had already put so much shame on herself and I was struggling with how to correct that thinking. Forget about what I wanted for her (waiting til she was older, if not married) I had to try to let he know she did NOT need to be ashamed or feel bad - THAT is what I wanted for her. She was not ruined or lessened or sullied by what had happened. We both felt a thousand times better once it was out - and if I thought we had a good relationship before, it's even better now. We also put her on BC, but I don't think she'll need it for that reason for a while yet.
So again, while i Feel your pain and concern (and you have every right to both) PLEASE do NOT feel digusted or let him know that. Please don't shame him. I know you're scared and worried for him and I know you're being set upon pretty hard in this thread and you're probably wishing you'd never posted now, but just keep the lines of communication open. If you make him feel bad, he'll probably never be open with you again and you may destroy your relationship.
Hugs, I know how hard this time is ( I have 2 teens). It's hard when they're coming into their own. But You know they are going to need to make their own mistakes to figure life out. You did, I did, all the peas did. Our parents told us over and over what to do or not to do. Sometimes we listened, sometimes we had to fall down and find a way back up before we realized "THIS is why they said I shouldn't do that!"
Good luck OP.
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Post by Ellie on May 25, 2015 15:46:51 GMT
I understand the concern about sexting, but have to agree with others that it's not abnormal for a 15 year old.
I am not religious and don't see eye to eye with your views on sexuality, but am trying. I must say that I am saddened and mystified by the use of the word "disgust." Seems pretty strong and a bit...off to me.
While I do have trouble understanding, I wish you peace as you try to come to terms with this.
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Post by maryland on May 25, 2015 15:55:04 GMT
He is fifteen. Make sure he understands condoms. You cannot control his sexuality; you can only teach him to exercise it responsibly. Young people have been bonking since the dawn of time and no variety of parenting is going to alter that. Pragmatism is safer than your disappointment and any punitive measures you can come up with unless your goal is to be a grandmother. Exactly! We have three daughters, two are teens and we feel the exact same way. Better to teach them how to be safe.
Lots of great advice on this thread with all the replies. I have a 15 yr. old daughter too, so will keep all of this in mind! We have had a lot of talks with our daughters about respect, and respecting the boy, etc. And our sons/daughters need to know that they deserve respect from their girlfriend/boyfriend. It goes both ways and if there is respect on both sides, it sure would make all relationships better whether it is dating/workplace/friendship, etc. We adore our 17 yr. old daughter's "boyfriend" and his family feels the same about our daughter.
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Post by marg on May 25, 2015 15:59:16 GMT
I think you're completely overreacting. I think if you share this attitude with your son it could ruin your relationship with him. I have a 15 year old son, so I understand being surprised. I would never let him know I read those texts, though. Seriously, he'll never want to be in the same room as you again due to the mortification.
If you must read his texts, then I'd just casually let him know that he should be aware that you reserve the right to read his texts at any time, but don't mention that you've gone through them all already. This may cool his texting behavior in the future without you completely destroying the trust between you two at this point. As you say, he's never given you any reason to distrust him, so I'm sure he'll have a difficult time understanding why you read through pages of his private texts.
I just see this ending really badly, if you look at him with disgust over this already. It honestly blows my mind. My son has been so sick this past year and a half, bedridden and in pain, that if I found out that he was texting, even this kind of stuff, with some girl, I'd probably celebrate, that's how devastating his illness has been. To have a healthy, normal 15 year old - that would be a blessing for me.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 15:59:45 GMT
Were we really all that innocent or did we just express it in different ways? Sex was the topic for pretty much every conversation I had at 15, a lot of time was spent searching for books with racy passages, a friend smuggled out her parents copy of The Joy of Sex for us to pour over, it was fascinating for all of us.
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Post by 950nancy on May 25, 2015 16:04:23 GMT
Before I raised boys I had one opinion. Having raised two full grown boys, I see things a little differently. Keep talking with him about sex and buy the boys condoms. I felt like that meant I was condoning it, but in reality it showed my boys that protecting themselves was much, much more important than the consequences of having sex. Some video games desensitize kids to sex and they can talk a lot of smack about it without ever having had it. Television and movies also do a very good job of this. Chances are he has seen this stuff and you didn't realize it.
Now take a breath and figure out how you can use your faith to be a guide to him and know that he will make his own choices. My oldest son dated a girl that was out of control. Lots of drugs and drinking. That was the longest 9 months of my life. I never told him not to see her, but I did talk to him about how he had done some very stupid things while with her. Eventually he couldn't take the drama and he broke up with her. That was three years ago and he dates very little. He just doesn't want to go back to that. He grew up from that experience and even though it was awful, just awful at the time, he has come out a better man.
Raising kids can be rough, but you have to be stronger. I thank God every day that son number two has been a piece of cake. They have both been raised similarly and have turned our quite opposite. You just never know.
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Post by maryland on May 25, 2015 16:04:55 GMT
Totally agree with compwalla. But I can't keep my mouth shut on this one any longer. Your total blame of the girl is mean and wrong. Girls are not evil seductresses who have magic powers to corrupt your perfect little boy. He's fifteen, and he has urges. Don't shame him for that. And quit blaming the girl exclusively. Even if she's not the ideal girlfriend. So true! I often see the boy blamed too, if a pea is talking about her daughter. It's so hard when we see our child as the good one, it's easy to "blame" the other child. But they both play a part, so no one is really the "bad" boy/girl. (I am not talking about extreme circumstances where they girl/boy is truly dangerous).
I don't feel like I am explaining myself well though. I can't find the words to say what I am trying to say. My husband and I allow our girls a lot of freedom. Great kids, and seldom even go out. They always joke about wanting to date this boy that we aaren't too fond of. But we make sure to keep our mouth shut and not "blame the boy". It works, because they have never asked him out! I know if we "badmouthed" him, the would be dating him for sure!
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gsquaredmom
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Post by gsquaredmom on May 25, 2015 16:05:35 GMT
I am not going to repeat what others have said. Your son is normal. I agree that you need to focus on safety and healthy relationship education rather than condemnation.
Your feelings are valid-- they are a reflection of your belief system-- however, you need to move toward acceptance of your son's sexuality. To use a word like disgust in association with your son is too extreme, IMO.
I think this is more your issue than his.
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Post by 950nancy on May 25, 2015 16:06:34 GMT
Tried to quote someone here. Messed up.
In regards to the phone, monitoring it only means they will find another way/device/site to communicate the way they choose. You have to be smarter than they are. That is rough because kids are very tech savvy and can outsmart parents easily (well, some kiddos can). I think you have to start with lots of conversations.
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luckyexwife
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Post by luckyexwife on May 25, 2015 16:12:02 GMT
I think it is good that you didn't immediately confront your son. Please use this time to cool down and accept that your son is a normal teenager.
After finals, I would calmly sit down with him, and let him know that now he has a girlfriend, you need to talk about a few things. Keep the dialog open, not just a lecture. Talk about sexting, condoms, STD/STIs, and responsibilities. Keep your emotions in check, and let him know you are a safe place to talk about things. You can acknowledge it might be uncomfortable, but you still need to talk about it.
Good luck!
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luvnlifelady
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 25, 2015 16:14:54 GMT
I haven't read all the responses. However, I also have a a 15 year old DS who seems mostly innocent but yet isn't. Nothing in the girl department yet that I know of (or guy for that matter) but he's one to be quiet on that front too.
If I found texts like that, I would not let on that I know anything. If you do, he'll just delete things in the future. You may tell him not to but he'll just be sure to have just enough innocent stuff for when you look at his phone.
I would just make sure he knows what he's doing when it comes to protection and then you'll just have to step back. Even if you forbid this, he'll find a way IMO.
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Nink
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Post by Nink on May 25, 2015 16:18:10 GMT
Totally agree with compwalla. But I can't keep my mouth shut on this one any longer. Your total blame of the girl is mean and wrong. Girls are not evil seductresses who have magic powers to corrupt your perfect little boy. He's fifteen, and he has urges. Don't shame him for that. And quit blaming the girl exclusively. Even if she's not the ideal girlfriend. This. Her mother may very well be sitting at home thinking that she had such a good wholesome girl until your horn dog of a son came into her life. Doesn't feel good does it.? The fact is they aren't doing anything different than teenagers over the decades. All you can do is give them the information they need to make responsible decisions. I in no way deluded myself into thinking my son was an anti sexual angel at that age. We were very open about sex and I made sure he knew about condoms etc. I won't even get into the invasion of his privacy by looking at his texts without his knowledge.
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uksue
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Post by uksue on May 25, 2015 16:22:57 GMT
I really feel for you. Both my older children were 19 plus when they first had sex ( I didn't even want to know, but it came out in a discussion about my god daughter being pregnant at 17). My youngest however I have posted here about- due to having a load of really ugly cartoon style porn. and a small amount of 'normal' porn on his phone. He was only 12 when he downloaded it. Like you,I didn't want his innocence lost so young, however we have so little control over our kids in all honesty. My sons case was all mixed up with him having stolen an iPhone 4 off a classmate so that school became involved and they bought a policeman in to talk to my son about sexual images, exploitation, the law etc. he was shocked to the core - the policeman was brilliant and had obviously had the same conversations with many other children, apparently as young as 10 I hope whatever you do,you approach things in a way that you don't make this seem dirty. I was lucky that we already had a therapist on board for other issues who was able to have a meeting with us to deal with this issue and she was great even though my son was pretty mortified lol. I5 is 'that' much older and society is very very different from when we ( and I am sure I am 20 years older than you) were young. I give thanks every day that my kids aren't mixed up with drugs- that would be far more scary to me than sexual experimentation . ETA I don't think you can turn the clock back unfortunately. In our case my son has remained extremely loving and we gave open dialogue . I have seen nothing else on his devices since he got them back, but then my internet has lots of filters on now. The main thing is as others have said-work to keep him talking to you.
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Post by jumperhop on May 25, 2015 16:38:32 GMT
I completely understand your concerns and heartache as I would feel the same way. But try and remember being 15. Having all those hormones was really hard.
As I read I was thinking I would do this and I would do that an I would move 5 states away so he never saw this girl again. But I will just say I would kneel down in prayer have a nice cry and talk to The Lord about what I should do.
I would consider taking away his access to data and texting and just give him access to making phone calls. This wouldn't solve the problem but it would make it harder. And there would be conversations.
I believe that sex between a man and woman is sacred and should be saved for marriage. This is what is taught in my home. A child who decided to have sex before marriage would be well protected as I am not naive that it does happen. I have many unmarried friends who love and and couldn't care less what they do. jen
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 16:44:04 GMT
Were we really all that innocent or did we just express it in different ways? Sex was the topic for pretty much every conversation I had at 15, a lot of time was spent searching for books with racy passages, a friend smuggled out her parents copy of The Joy of Sex for us to pour over, it was fascinating for all of us. I don't know what generation Lainey belongs to but in the 70s (I was 15 in 1975) the majority of my small rural church going class was sexually active. I know their parents didn't know and would not have approved. My mom claims to have been raised when teens didn't have sex. My dad snorts about her innocence at what was going on around her in plain sight. For my grandmother's generation by 15 few teens were still in school. Most boys were needed on the family farm or in the family business as free labor and girls were married off. What HAS changed is technology that allows kids to have conversations that leave behind a text record and the parental ability to access those conversations.
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suzastampin
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Post by suzastampin on May 25, 2015 17:01:37 GMT
I'm sure you feel like you've been kicked in the stomach with your findings. Please take the next few days to calm down and adjust to what you have learned. While we would all like to keep our children young and innocent, that's just not the way life works. You and your husband can take these next few days to figure out how you will speak with your son so as not to close those lines of communication. Unfortunately, times have changed, there is now a record of everything with texting. Make sure he understands the consequences and the possibility that this girl may be showing all her girlfriends these texts and that when they break up, she may publish them for the whole world to see.
Please don't let him know that you are disgusted with him. It's ok to tell him you are disappointed but he is still the same young man you loved a few days ago. Hang in there.
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caro
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Post by caro on May 25, 2015 17:01:37 GMT
Also, if you feel disgusted when he walks in the room, etc., you can bet he has picked up on those feelings that something is wrong. He may have figured out you know something since you have his phone.
Maybe you and your DH need to have that convo now as opposed to later.
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Why
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Post by Why on May 25, 2015 17:01:51 GMT
If your son knew you had his passwords and might check his phone at any time that would be one thing. BUT you said he did not know so if you tell him you were reading his texts he will feel violated and also so damn embarrassed you may really change the close relationship you have. Please find some other way to bring up your concerns without telling him that. Maybe say that now that he has a girlfriend you want to talk to him about some things. No disgust in your words or voice just some FYI stuff.
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Post by greenlegume on May 25, 2015 17:03:50 GMT
Sorry - this might get long. But, I need to get it out and hoping for some advice and I don't want to talk to anyone in real life because then I'm sure it will cause them to look at DS differently, like I am right now.
DS is 15 and in 9th grade. Good student (a's and b's). Polite and kind to others but a tendancy to be mouthy with DH and I occasionally. Very into video gaming, which I thought was the worst of our problems. Hangs with 4 really nice young men that he's been friends with since 2nd grade. Goes to church, and very active in youth group. Also, he's not one to talk much and share his feelings, etc. He doesn't ever ask questions about sex, girls, etc. When we had the "talk" he didn't say one word. Some of my friends with boys say that their boys will tell them thngs (ex. ask questions about sex, tell their mom they have a bump on their pen*s, etc). DS would NEVER do any of that with me... he's uncomfortable with that stuff.
So, here goes.
On May 8th he came home from school and said it was an awesome day. I asked him to tell me about it and he said he got a good grade on a test and "oh, yeah, I officially have a girlfriend." I was surprised that 1. he had a girlfriend and 2. he told me! I was so happy he shared. I asked about her and congratulated him and was genuinely happy for him. The next day he showed me a picture of her and in my head, I was like "yes." She is cute, but nerdy looking, so I thought great, a nice wholesome first girlfriend... or so I thought.
Like I said earlier, DS is very into gaming/electronics. He also has a phone and iPod. Before the girlfriend, he'd carry the iPod around some, but leave in his room some. Lately, he has it on him ALL the time. At first, I thought, cute, he wants to be able to text with her when she sends something or he wants to. But something in my gut told me to check his phone/iPod. He doesn't know that I know the passwords.
Some may think that it is an invasion of privacy to check. I never checked before in the 3 years he's had a phone and the 4 years he's had an iPod. But, something kept nagging at me to check. So, last night when he was in the shower, I went in his room and SCORE, it was charging on his night stand (he usually takes it in the bathroom with him.) So, I quickly unlocked it and the first thing to pop up was texts back and forth with the girlfriend.
I skimmed a few just to make sure everything was good... oh my god... I was shocked and horrified and went right to DH... DS and girlfriend are having, for lack of a better word, phone sex via text. I almost cried right there.
We have raised him in a Christian home and any time I've discussed sex we've talked about waiting until marriage. I'm not naïve in thinking that he might eventually do the "deed" before marriage, but I though we had some time. I though he was still shy and innocent. I was wrong.
So we didn't say anything to him, but made him turn it in for the night to charge in our room. That was a rule of ours, but we haven't been enforcing it lately.
We waited until we were sure he was asleep and we looked in to the messages. It took almost 30 minutes to scroll back to the beginning there were so many.
Initially everything was innocent, talking about their day, their family, their church and youth groups. DS even told her about how cool our youth pastor is and how much he loves youth group. It was just normal "chit chat" for a few days.
Then, she eluded to inappropriate things. At first, he was clueless and kept asking her what she meant, or when she'd say something and say "you know what I mean" he'd say not really.
But then he started making inuendos and it all escalated from there. I won't go into the gory details, but suffice it to say that they are referring to it as the story and talking about what they'd do if she was next to him (sneaking into his room at night, which is impossible 'cuz she lives on the other side of town, thank god, and he's on the 2nd floor). She asks how he'd hold her, they go back and forth about his d*ck being hard and going faster and harder and moaning, etc, etc. I believe, from the comments made that they are each pleasuring themselves as they do this, and being open about when they are finished. *SHOCKED*
I was barely able to sleep last night. I feel like I see him differently. I am disgusted, sad and heartbroken. This is NOT ok with me or DH. But, I don't know what to do.
Some other comments that we saw that bother me are: - she talks about her ex boyfriend in some of the texts and how it bothers her to see him with his new girlfriend. She tells DS that she and ex had sex and that's why they had to break up (parents found out). She tells DS she regrets having sex, that she's not like that, blah, blah,blah. But yet she is prompting my kid to have text sex with her. Each time she instigates it from what we can see.
-I am worried that since she's had sex, she'll pressure DS to. I am also worried that she is using DS to get back at ex as she refers to seeing him in the hallway when she and DS are walking to classes. DS, who is not a fighter, acts all big and tough and says things like "we stared each other down in the hall" and "he better not mess with you or I'll take care of it."
-she refers to wanting to die a few times (does she really or is she being a drama queen - not sure because it's a few times and not really seems like she means it)
-she talks about knowing "witch stuff" and doing things to DS
I don't know what to do. I don't want to confront him in the next few days as he has 3 days of final exams coming up. But, I know we'll confront him soon. I plan to take the iPod nightly to charge and check it nightly.
Oh, yeah, when we were looking through messages, some are dated from 1, 2 and 3 am. So def. taking iPod.
I knew, even before we discovered all of this, that they would not be allowed to be alone together. That if he goes there, a parent(s) need to be home and the same here. I thought I'd let them do stuff like go to the street fair here in town, walk to ice cream, etc. though since they'd be in public. Now, I don't even want them together.
I feel like this girl is changing my little boy. I know, he's not little, but he seemed innocent before and now...
I know that when we confront him, if we forbid him to see her, that will just drive him to her more.
I don't know what to do, I just want to cry. Last night, he kept coming in my room (DH and I were watching tv) and I kept looking at him as my heart was crushed.
Maybe I'm making a big deal, but I don't think so. I know that boys have "urges" and I always knock on his bedroom door and ask if I can come in. I know what he's doing during those 30 minute showers. I get it. But this is NOT ok. He is too young to be worrying about these things. I want him to be a teen, work hard in school, hang with friends, enjoy his church youth group. I don't want him obsessing over text sex and being with this girl.
Can anyone offer advice or words of wisdom. Anyone been there? How did you handle this. Or if you've been through girlfriend/boyfriend issues, would you share how you dealt?
I am a sad mommy today. Sweet, fancy Moses. You need to stop infantalizing your son-and yourself- right now.
Disgust? Shame? Heartbreak? looking at your son differently? other people looking at your son differently? A sweet, innocent, little boy seduced and led astray by an evil girlfriend who "knows witch stuff"? SHE's changing him? So much drama and demonization of this girlfriend. Your teenage boy's sexuality DISGUSTS you? This is so not a normal reaction and so completely OTT. Stop and think for a minute on how the cult of purity has worked for the Catholic church, Sarah Palin, the Duggars, and every other religious kook who tries to stamp out any and all premarital sex. It.just.doesn't.work. It's understandable to be disappointed that your teenager might not share the same views on premarital sex, but his sexuality is his and his alone. You don't get to control his beliefs and sexual urges. You simply can't. Educate him on safe sex, the very real dangers of sexting, etc. ASAP but if you shame him, berate him, tell him how "disgusted" and "heartbroken" you are, you are going to do irreparable harm to your relationship with him. And STOP blaming this girl exclusively. That part of your post in red clearly shows that this sexting is at least 50% your son's doing. As for her being able to sneak into your son's room or vice versa, because it's just as likely to be him doing the sneaking, don't underestimate what teenagers are capable of when they are super horny and determined to have sex. Sorry if this seems too harsh, but you need to hear it. Your son is not a sweet, innocent baby being tempted and led to evil by a wicked, slutty girl. It's a total cop out for you to view it that way, and damned wrong to give off that attitude to anyone.
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caro
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Post by caro on May 25, 2015 17:07:58 GMT
You go green legume. You are right on!!
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Post by jumperhop on May 25, 2015 17:13:06 GMT
Were we really all that innocent or did we just express it in different ways? Sex was the topic for pretty much every conversation I had at 15, a lot of time was spent searching for books with racy passages, a friend smuggled out her parents copy of The Joy of Sex for us to pour over, it was fascinating for all of us. My Mom would remind us that our generation didn't invent sex. But we totally thought we did. That others generations didn't have desires that we had made stronger by the music, and TV shows of the early 90's. I can't even imagine being a teen of today. 90's music and 90210 has nothing on the internet, tv and music of today's generation.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 25, 2015 17:15:02 GMT
Were we really all that innocent or did we just express it in different ways? Sex was the topic for pretty much every conversation I had at 15, a lot of time was spent searching for books with racy passages, a friend smuggled out her parents copy of The Joy of Sex for us to pour over, it was fascinating for all of us. My Mom would remind us that our generation didn't invent sex. But we totally thought we did. That others generations didn't have desires that we had made stronger by the music, and TV shows of the early 90's. I can't even imagine being a teen of today. 90's music and 90210 has nothing on the internet, tv and music of today's generation. Very true.
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,448
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
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Post by katybee on May 25, 2015 17:17:27 GMT
You know he's probably been masturbating for a good while now…right ? It's what teenage boys do. It's practically what they live for. So I'm sure that while he's a very good and wholesome boy… he wanks off in the bathroom to a Victoria's Secret catalog. A lot. All perfectly normal.
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Post by greenlegume on May 25, 2015 17:18:03 GMT
Were we really all that innocent or did we just express it in different ways? Sex was the topic for pretty much every conversation I had at 15, a lot of time was spent searching for books with racy passages, a friend smuggled out her parents copy of The Joy of Sex for us to pour over, it was fascinating for all of us. My Mom would remind us that our generation didn't invent sex. But we totally thought we did. That others generations didn't have desires that we had made stronger by the music, and TV shows of the early 90's. I can't even imagine being a teen of today. 90's music and 90210 has nothing on the internet, tv and music of today's generation. Oh come ON. Sexual desires are biological. Ask the preacher in Footloose how well his ban on the "devil music" and dancing worked for his daughter. Oops, that was the 80s! Our parents claimed that the TV, music, and everything else of our day was totally going to be the ruination of all of us. My dad hit.the.roof. when he heard the AC/DC song "Big Balls," and it was our Mom who was the real (cultish) religious, conservative parent. My uncles used to regale us with stories of how scandalous our grandparents thought Elvis was (until they heard his gospel music). And on and on for every previous generation. Horny teenagers have been around since the dawn of time. Trying to claim otherwise is just denying reality.
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