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Post by meridon on Aug 3, 2015 22:44:40 GMT
If you miss the first class, you can expect to be dropped and lose your spot in the class. Especially at large universities, many courses have waiting lists and people will be there to add the class in place of the missing students. The professor will sign a form that they then take to the registrar. Many courses are only offered once a year. Your student might jeopardize graduating on time if they miss class.
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 3, 2015 22:54:24 GMT
My DD starts her senior year on a Monday soon. DD says they will drop her from the class for missing the very first day. Do you think that is accurate?
Yes, I do think this is accurate and would trust that DD has the correct information for her school. I have seen students show up to a class they are not registered for on the hopes that there is a first day no show. There can be a line 10 deep at the instructors desk after class to get signed in to take the seat of the no show students. As a senior she would be risking her current seat in the class and her graduation timeline if the class is not offered at other times or later in the year. One of the reasons students are taking 5 or 6 years to graduate is because of limited seats available for their required classes.
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Deleted
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May 7, 2024 20:07:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2015 22:54:56 GMT
I don't think I would be trusting that your FRESHMAN son can miss the first day. My dd has to be there for orientation.
Fly your son home so he can be there for his first day.
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Deleted
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May 7, 2024 20:07:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2015 22:55:11 GMT
My DD starts her senior year on a Monday soon. DH and I are also driving back with my college DS from the other coast where he was interning for the summer and we won't be back until Monday evening. They go to different schools but my son said he can miss his first day of class on Monday and just catch up. DD says they will drop her from the class for missing the very first day.
Do you think that is accurate?
When I was in college eons ago, people were still doing drop/add, etc the first week. Oh, and she's been in Europe "studying" the past six months and traveling to countries I haven't even heard of!! So I'm kinda ticked that she can't/won't help us out. It's because we would have to put our dogs in the kennel again. We just came back from out of town and the dogs were already in the kennel for two weeks. It would only be for three nights but I would rather not do it if we don't have to. Thanks. I think she is likely very accurate. Different schools have different policies. Around here some of the colleges drop those who were enrolled but don't show up for the first class. Then that seat is offered to a student on the wait list. Even if a student informs the instructor they will be missing a student is only allowed 3 missed hours of class. That is three classes if the class session is one hour long, two sessions if the class is 1.5 hours long and only one class session if it is a 3 hour session. So she is missing one hour - 3 hours right off the bat. If she gets sick later in the semester she can only miss two more hours of instruction (we don't differentiate between excused and unexcused reasons) Every class missed after the third hour will drop her grade a letter grade per hour missed. Plenty of our instructors assign homework due the next class session and she won't know who to contact to get that information from. She needs to be in school. You need to deal with your life and dogs without her. And truthfully you need to discourage your son from missing classes. Early absences are a red flag indicator a student won't finish their degree program.
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Deleted
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May 7, 2024 20:07:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2015 23:02:26 GMT
This is the truth. At her point in her college career, I'd trust her when she says she could be dropped for missing the first day of class. I'm assuming you mean she's a senior in college which means high level classes that are important to her degree, probably smaller, and most likely have wait lists. No shows on the first day can and will be dropped from the list. Your DS is a freshman in college, right? That means mostly general ed classes that probably have 5 different times and days. He might be able to miss one with little consquence BUT I wouldn't take that chance. Some professors do not like no shows during the first week of class.
Your kids are growing up. They're leaving the nest. It is now your responsibility to deal with your animals' care without them. It's time for you to start making plans for stuff like this without depending on either kid. If you hate the kennel so much, then find a pet-sitter. And guess what? You have to. When they graduate and go onto their careers, they cannot miss work because you don't want to kennel your dogs. Suck it up and deal with it.
ETA - I see you added that your DS is in fact in a Master's program. WTF? You should know full well by now how this works as should your DS. He's ok with missing the first day of a MASTER's class? As for your remark about your DD skipping class for her BF but not you, oh get over it. You're the brat here.
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Post by buddysmom on Aug 3, 2015 23:03:27 GMT
Did not read all of the posts, didn't expect all of the replies. I knew it was "bad" since there were so many replies so early! I'm just mad because she is being bratty. She will miss class to be with her boyfriend but not to help us out while we are scrambling with our other college student to get him back here 3000 miles away for class. He was on significant time contraints on his internship and could not leave the other coast earlier. It's not to babysit our dogs, she cried when she kissed them goodbye six months ago so she misses them! I just wish she had let me know earlier so I can put another thing on my "to do" list before I leave. Yes, DH and I are both going, flying to the coast and driving back with DS, hitting a couple National Parks with him before he goes off on his own completely. He will be in his last semester on his Masters degree. I just checked the site and it said to let the prof know ahead of time if you are going to miss the first day.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Aug 3, 2015 23:13:12 GMT
WAIT! Your son is entering a MASTERS program and you and your DH HAVE to g move him home??? um, sounds like a vacation, NOT just moving someone home. Sorry. Don't think you'll get much sympathy on this one.
Your DD is correct, I would NEVER miss the first day of a college class.
I teach middle school and give out TONS of information and paperwork the first day. I can only imagine college! NO WAY NO HOW!
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CeeScraps
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~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
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Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on Aug 3, 2015 23:19:45 GMT
Have a nice vacation with your son. Your dd should go to her class. Get someone to take care of the dogs or board them.
I totally get why your daughter doesn't want to miss class. She would be behind and wouldn't know the basics of what to do or what is expected.
If it were my dh and I only 1 of us would travel to pick up a child. We both wouldn't go. There is no need for that. Is it a nice thing to do? Yes, but not needed.
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IAmUnoriginal
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Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Aug 3, 2015 23:22:16 GMT
Did not read all of the posts, didn't expect all of the replies. I knew it was "bad" since there were so many replies so early! I'm just mad because she is being bratty. She will miss class to be with her boyfriend but not to help us out while we are scrambling with our other college student to get him back here 3000 miles away for class. He was on significant time contraints on his internship and could not leave the other coast earlier. It's not to babysit our dogs, she cried when she kissed them goodbye six months ago so she misses them! I just wish she had let me know earlier so I can put another thing on my "to do" list before I leave. Yes, DH and I are both going, flying to the coast and driving back with DS, hitting a couple National Parks with him before he goes off on his own completely. He will be in his last semester on his Masters degree. I just checked the site and it said to let the prof know ahead of time if you are going to miss the first day. Skip the stops at the National Parks and get home ASAP if having the dogs watched by DD is so important to you. Your DD is an adult. Respect that. She does not owe you free dog sitting at the expense of her education. I'm pretty sure any professor who hears that DD is missing class to dog sit will not take that excuse too lightly.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
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Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Aug 3, 2015 23:24:08 GMT
Did not read all of the posts, didn't expect all of the replies. I knew it was "bad" since there were so many replies so early! I'm just mad because she is being bratty. She will miss class to be with her boyfriend but not to help us out while we are scrambling with our other college student to get him back here 3000 miles away for class. He was on significant time contraints on his internship and could not leave the other coast earlier. It's not to babysit our dogs, she cried when she kissed them goodbye six months ago so she misses them! I just wish she had let me know earlier so I can put another thing on my "to do" list before I leave. Yes, DH and I are both going, flying to the coast and driving back with DS, hitting a couple National Parks with him before he goes off on his own completely. He will be in his last semester on his Masters degree. I just checked the site and it said to let the prof know ahead of time if you are going to miss the first day. I think that this is a vacation, especially since you are "hitting a couple of National Parks".
Your dd is living her life as she should. Still very surprised that you are putting your dogs before your dd.
Please, read all the posts and you might learn something, especially from the peas who are active in a post-secondary setting.
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gsquaredmom
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Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Aug 3, 2015 23:30:41 GMT
WAIT! Your son is entering a MASTERS program and you and your DH HAVE to g move him home??? um, sounds like a vacation, NOT just moving someone home. Sorry. Don't think you'll get much sympathy on this one. Your DD is correct, I would NEVER miss the first day of a college class. I teach middle school and give out TONS of information and paperwork the first day. I can only imagine college! NO WAY NO HOW! Finishing a Master's program. Does sound vacationy My dad moved us to college the first time. After that we moved our own stuff. Adults and on our own, he said.
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Post by moveablefeast on Aug 3, 2015 23:33:03 GMT
Did not read all of the posts, didn't expect all of the replies. I knew it was "bad" since there were so many replies so early! I'm just mad because she is being bratty. She will miss class to be with her boyfriend but not to help us out while we are scrambling with our other college student to get him back here 3000 miles away for class. He was on significant time contraints on his internship and could not leave the other coast earlier. It's not to babysit our dogs, she cried when she kissed them goodbye six months ago so she misses them! I just wish she had let me know earlier so I can put another thing on my "to do" list before I leave. Yes, DH and I are both going, flying to the coast and driving back with DS, hitting a couple National Parks with him before he goes off on his own completely. He will be in his last semester on his Masters degree. I just checked the site and it said to let the prof know ahead of time if you are going to miss the first day. You want her to miss the first day of class so that you don't have to kennel your dogs while you enjoy a leisurely road trip back from the coast so you can hit up some national parks? I mean, it sounds like a fun vacay but... I'm sorry Mom, I really think you're wrong on this one.
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Post by littlemama on Aug 3, 2015 23:40:20 GMT
Add me to the list of people who cannot believe you can't come up with a solution that does not involve your daughter missing her first day of class. I also don't understand why she wouldn't already be moved in at school before the first day. I've never heard of that before.
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lesley
Drama Llama
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Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Aug 3, 2015 23:42:01 GMT
My DD starts her senior year on a Monday soon. DH and I are also driving back with my college DS from the other coast where he was interning for the summer and we won't be back until Monday evening. They go to different schools but my son said he can miss his first day of class on Monday and just catch up. DD says they will drop her from the class for missing the very first day. Do you think that is accurate? When I was in college eons ago, people were still doing drop/add, etc the first week. Oh, and she's been in Europe "studying" the past six months and traveling to countries I haven't even heard of!! So I'm kinda ticked that she can't/won't help us out. It's because we would have to put our dogs in the kennel again. We just came back from out of town and the dogs were already in the kennel for two weeks. It would only be for three nights but I would rather not do it if we don't have to. Thanks. I'm just curious what European countries you've never heard of?
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Aug 3, 2015 23:44:55 GMT
My DD starts her senior year on a Monday soon. DH and I are also driving back with my college DS from the other coast where he was interning for the summer and we won't be back until Monday evening. They go to different schools but my son said he can miss his first day of class on Monday and just catch up. DD says they will drop her from the class for missing the very first day. Do you think that is accurate? When I was in college eons ago, people were still doing drop/add, etc the first week. Oh, and she's been in Europe "studying" the past six months and traveling to countries I haven't even heard of!! So I'm kinda ticked that she can't/won't help us out. It's because we would have to put our dogs in the kennel again. We just came back from out of town and the dogs were already in the kennel for two weeks. It would only be for three nights but I would rather not do it if we don't have to. Thanks. I'm just curious what European countries you've never heard of? I wondered the same thing. I would have had a map on the wall tracking where she was. How exciting!!!
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 3, 2015 23:48:19 GMT
Did not read all of the posts, didn't expect all of the replies. I knew it was "bad" since there were so many replies so early! I'm just mad because she is being bratty. She will miss class to be with her boyfriend but not to help us out while we are scrambling with our other college student to get him back here 3000 miles away for class. He was on significant time contraints on his internship and could not leave the other coast earlier. It's not to babysit our dogs, she cried when she kissed them goodbye six months ago so she misses them! I just wish she had let me know earlier so I can put another thing on my "to do" list before I leave. Yes, DH and I are both going, flying to the coast and driving back with DS, hitting a couple National Parks with him before he goes off on his own completely. He will be in his last semester on his Masters degree. I just checked the site and it said to let the prof know ahead of time if you are going to miss the first day. did she not know this was the plan or did she commit and then change her mind?
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Deleted
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May 7, 2024 20:07:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2015 23:57:52 GMT
I can't believe anyone in their last semester of a master's program needs mommy and daddy to pick them up and take them to school. Good lord. I thought you were talking about a high school kid going off to his first semester.
Stay home. Take care of the dogs. Let sonny-boy get himself to school.. on time. No visitng national parks along the way.
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Post by femalebusiness on Aug 3, 2015 23:58:20 GMT
I haven't read the entire thread but why don't you just call the school?
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Post by cmpeter on Aug 3, 2015 23:58:53 GMT
Based on your second posts it sounds like you are expecting them both to miss the first day of class so you can vacation I would cut the vacation part short and get them both to the first day of class on time.
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 4, 2015 0:19:23 GMT
I'm just curious what European countries you've never heard of? I wondered the same thing. I would have had a map on the wall tracking where she was. How exciting!!! Slight hijack, but this line in the OP did make me laugh. I remember telling DS last year when he was studying countries & capitals for AP Euro last year that half didn't exist when I was in high school. Once you hit the Iron Curtain, all we learned were East Germany (no longer exists), Poland, Czechoslovakia (now 2 countries), Yugoslavia (now 6 countries) and Russia/USSR (now 15? countries).
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 4, 2015 0:25:08 GMT
I don't understand why there isn't a plan "b". Why do both parents have to be there for both kids. Can't you split your time between the two? Is there an early move in day for one to avoid conflict?
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 4, 2015 0:25:23 GMT
It depends on the college. I missed a class for my father's funeral in another state. I talked to the professor. I was docked points and my first paper was a C+. When I asked him about it, he changed my paper's grade, but said that I needed to be aware that missing class for any reason would knock down my grade. The other professor was fine and sympathetic. I guess you just don't know.
I would feel like your daughter and want to be there on the first day of possible. Lots of info given that day.
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Post by bearmom on Aug 4, 2015 0:28:25 GMT
Nope, first day is one of the most important days when I was in college. A ton of helpful is given, including little tips and hints on how to do well in the class. I also have a hard time with your son being okay missing the first day of his master's program, but maybe he has a great relationship with his professors already.
I also wouldn't base your decision on your dd being able to miss the first day based on a generic statement on the college website. A lot of my professors would have laughed at that and made a comment about "not in my class" and while she might not lose her seat, it could still negatively impact her. Maybe she knows she has a hard-a$$ professor.
if you want to vacation with your dh and ds, then you kennel your dogs. If you don't want to kennel your dogs, you shorten your trip by a day or two so that neither dd nor ds has to miss school and your dogs can stay home.
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Post by elaine on Aug 4, 2015 0:46:00 GMT
I would have died if my mom tried to help me move in or out after my first year of college. And Grad School?!?! I used to drive the 2500 miles between Columbus, OH and Los Angeles at least one round trip per year by myself. No one in grad school had their parents moving them.
You don't need to drive your son, you WANT to take a family vacation. Good for your daughter for having her priorities straight in this instance, placing her education before dog sitting.
I will admit to being a flummoxed by a number of things in this thread. I'm having a hard time imagining the family dynamics that led to these problems, unless your son has special needs, has been in a highly structured internship, and cannot drive himself.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 4, 2015 0:47:07 GMT
I haven't read the entire thread but why don't you just call the school? Oh dear god .... Don't CALL the school. Your child is an adult! if she says she can't do it. Respect that. You are no longer in charge of her. You have to help establish and respect boundaries.
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Post by epeanymous on Aug 4, 2015 0:57:18 GMT
I am a professor at the law school level, not the college level, but, yes, students get dropped here the first day if they do not show if any students are wait listed for the class. I also do a lot of housekeeping the first day of class and it would be more of an issue for a student to miss the first day than to miss a day several weeks into class.
We do allow some variance for students who have specific issues. For example, I had a student a few years ago who was going through chemo and contacted me in advance about the possibility he would miss the first day (he didn't, btw).
If a student contacted me and said that they needed to miss the first day of class because they needed to watch their parents' dog, I would point and laugh at my computer screen.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 4, 2015 0:59:57 GMT
Ages ago when I was in college they dropped students who missed the first day.
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Post by mari on Aug 4, 2015 1:09:35 GMT
It's interesting that your son is interning but your daughter is "studying".
To answer the question, the first class is important for many professors. Groups get assigned, the syllabus is discussed, and assignments/readings are assigned. I assume that your daughter has responsibly read her syllabus and that's how she knows she can't miss a class during her senior year.
As others have said, your dogs are not your daughter's responsibility and even if she could miss class, it's unfair to ask her to.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Aug 4, 2015 1:18:41 GMT
Oh, good gravy Ps!! The whole, they are an adult, and should do everything on their own is a piece of BS, with the moving. Like I said, I have 2 dd's. one recently grad'd. We moved her every yr to college 3 hrs away. ALL parents of other college students were there also moving their kids in. Same for my youngest dd, but less so, because a lot of students live in the general area, within an hr of the college, so they just move bits and pieces in. Now, if my kid was going for his masters, and like 25 yrs old. yea, I would be having him just fly home? Why can't he do that? your DD doesn't want to miss the 1st day of class. She shouldn't. Make other arrangements.
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Post by txdancermom on Aug 4, 2015 1:22:38 GMT
agree depends on the school and class that she would be missing. if she knows the professor, talk to them
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