paigepea
Drama Llama
Enter your message here...
Posts: 5,609
Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
|
Post by paigepea on Jul 22, 2016 23:57:49 GMT
How does she handle cross contamination in the house with the knives, forks and spoons and glasses? I assume she needed all new plates and cutlery and drink wear. I've never understood orthodox jewish rules regarding this. The dishwasher temperature kills all germs. If I go to a sandwich/bagel/pizza place I will ask them to clean the knife before slicing my sandwich. And to change gloves. I also don't think the OP should be asking a bunch of meat eaters their opinion on something her vegan daughter does. And just because someone in this thread knows one vegan that does something, doesn't mean that all vegans should too. I know a vegetarian who will eat food made with chicken broth and another one who will take meat out of a sandwich and eat the rest. That doesn't mean the expectation should be the same for me. Funny you mention this. When DH and I first got married we had not one set of dishes. Modern kosher rules say a dishwasher cycle is fine - some even have a kosher cycle. My in laws came to visit us after we were married for 6 months. Before they came, MiL called and said can I only make meat or only make dairy so my FIL doesn't figure out I only have one set of dishes. Now we were only kosher because of DH, and he was the one who said one set / dishwasher was fine, but I ran out the next day and bought a second set of China/silverware because I didn't want FIL to look down on me after only 6 months in the family. I was young because in retrospect I should have just said 'ok' to mil .
|
|
|
Post by ihaveonly1l on Jul 22, 2016 23:59:09 GMT
My first reaction was in line with most of the responders here, but the more I think about it, the more I think supersoda has a point. She has not purchased animal products for you for two years, so you knew it was a problem for her, and you let it go. She doesn't refuse to help out at all; she just doesn't want to purchase the animal stuff. I dunno. Let me be clear that you were well within your rights to ask (especially as a special favor), but it's not surprising that she said No - she's consistent. I think suddenly taking away privileges would be weird and out of the blue, since you've accommodated her for two years. If you've decided you've had enough, then sitting down with her calmly and telling her that you can't do it any more is fine. Full disclosure: I am a vegetarian, but not vegan, and I'm not a PETA member or anything. Like a pp, I have no problem picking up closed containers of meat-containing products that I wouldn't eat, but I would not be wild about going to the butcher counter for a drippy foam tray of meat. I totally agree with this and with supersodaI don't really understand the whole pea manifesto of my house, my rules/my kids don't have a choice/ungrateful brats/move out the second you graduate. We're talking about a college kid. How is she supposed to move out on her own or support herself? I swear the peas chose to bring their kids into the world, but then they want their kids to kiss their feet for providing the things they are obligated to provide. The constant my house, my rules attitude here makes me crazy. I want my kids to know this is *their* house. That they are always welcome here. They never have to leave and they can always come back. I wouldn't ask a Muslim to buy me pork. I wouldn't ask a Mormon to buy me alcohol. I wouldn't ask a vegan to buy cream. I wouldn't buy anyone cigarettes, ever, under any circumstances. I think it is unreasonable of the OP to be fine and supportive of this for 2.5 years and then suddenly get pissed and throw a fit about it. Don't you all remember what it was like when you were in college/late teens/early 20s? To be defining yourself and finding your own philosophy and to be really, really passionate about it and really, really sure you are right?
For me this was less about actually buying the cream and more about respect. This isn't about "my house, my rules" it is about the fact that the OP is obviously respectful of her daughter's food choices because she's gone out of her way for 2.5 years to support that. She asked her to pick something up for her and her daughter refused and then dismissed the fact that her mother was upset.
My guess is there is something the daughter uses that would be considered not totally vegan, but since it is convenient for her, that doesn't bother her. In this case, the daughter is just being a brat.
|
|
raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
|
Post by raindancer on Jul 23, 2016 0:00:41 GMT
exactly! I get on a rant about this with my students every year or so. I don't get this point of view. Yes they may use research based on animals from the past but it's still preventing more animals being tested on now, therefore saving animals. spoken like someone who has no idea how research on products used/consumed by people actually works. It's such a ridiculous argument. Animal testing is necessary for advancement and safety. Vegans who use products or medicine, etc. are hypocritical. You don't have to eat meat. i'm fine with that. But I am not fine with holy than thou bullshit like this.
|
|
|
Post by pierkiss on Jul 23, 2016 0:06:04 GMT
Your kid is being an asshole. She has no right to refuse to honor your choices just as you have honored hers for the past few years. And the fact that she does not care that your upset would have me positively livid. To the point of my stopping trying to cater to her choices. Respect is a 2-way street.
|
|
Peal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,524
Jun 25, 2014 22:45:40 GMT
|
Post by Peal on Jul 23, 2016 0:35:45 GMT
And really, really damn grateful they were still supporting me in any way. OP, I think this upset you so much because you are probably already emotional about your DS leaving. I would guess that this normally would irritate you, but not send you off the emotional deep end. That said, I think you are in the right. Your DD needs to appreciate the sacrifices you have made for her diet over the last 2.5 years and and suck it up a little bit and help you. You don't need to kick her out on her ear, but a discussion of what kind of give and take is expected in adult relationships wouldn't go amiss. And I'd give the neighbors "meat sweats" as well. I hope you feel better, had cream with dessert, and soon enjoy being an empty nester.
|
|
|
Post by secondlife on Jul 23, 2016 0:46:20 GMT
I think it's unreasonable for the daughter not to help out with something small like this.
I do think young people who have principles such as this can get s little myopic and forget what's enabling them to make these choices in life. So it's a good time to sit down and have a discussion about what her beliefs mean for the family and who is responsible for what.
If I'm going out of my way to accommodate her I think she should be willing to accommodate me a little in turn. But I would hate to violate her ethical beliefs by forcing her hand. So my suggestion is a conversation: what is and isn't she willing to purchase for me at the store, what am I and am I not willing to purchase for her in terms of specialty sourced food and beauty items.
And if it is all one sided - she wants all the accommodation or I have all the expectation - then maybe some negotiations need to be had.
|
|
|
Post by berty on Jul 23, 2016 0:50:48 GMT
I totally agree with this and with supersoda I don't really understand the whole pea manifesto of my house, my rules/my kids don't have a choice/ungrateful brats/move out the second you graduate. We're talking about a college kid. How is she supposed to move out on her own or support herself? I swear the peas chose to bring their kids into the world, but then they want their kids to kiss their feet for providing the things they are obligated to provide. The constant my house, my rules attitude here makes me crazy. I want my kids to know this is *their* house. That they are always welcome here. They never have to leave and they can always come back. I wouldn't ask a Muslim to buy me pork. I wouldn't ask a Mormon to buy me alcohol. I wouldn't ask a vegan to buy cream. I wouldn't buy anyone cigarettes, ever, under any circumstances. I think it is unreasonable of the OP to be fine and supportive of this for 2.5 years and then suddenly get pissed and throw a fit about it. Don't you all remember what it was like when you were in college/late teens/early 20s? To be defining yourself and finding your own philosophy and to be really, really passionate about it and really, really sure you are right?
For me this was less about actually buying the cream and more about respect. This isn't about "my house, my rules" it is about the fact that the OP is obviously respectful of her daughter's food choices because she's gone out of her way for 2.5 years to support that. She asked her to pick something up for her and her daughter refused and then dismissed the fact that her mother was upset.
My guess is there is something the daughter uses that would be considered not totally vegan, but since it is convenient for her, that doesn't bother her. In this case, the daughter is just being a brat.
I agree. Putting the vegan issues aside, the daughter was unkind. It's one thing to stand by one's principles, it's another to be mean and uncaring about it. I think if the daughter had been nicer and more sensitive to how her refusal would make her mom feel, the whole situation would have gone differently. My advice to OP would be to cool down a little and then have a talk with daughter about respect and mutual kindness. I also think it would be fine if mom wanted to curtail some of the things she does to help her daughter, as long as she lets it be know that she's doing this in response to the daughter's behavior and not her ethical choice.
|
|
|
Post by SweetieBugs on Jul 23, 2016 1:05:30 GMT
And really, really damn grateful they were still supporting me in any way. OP, I think this upset you so much because you are probably already emotional about your DS leaving. I would guess that this normally would irritate you, but not send you off the emotional deep end. That said, I think you are in the right. Your DD needs to appreciate the sacrifices you have made for her diet over the last 2.5 years and and suck it up a little bit and help you. You don't need to kick her out on her ear, but a discussion of what kind of give and take is expected in adult relationships wouldn't go amiss. And I'd give the neighbors "meat sweats" as well. I hope you feel better, had cream with dessert, and soon enjoy being an empty nester. Yes, Peal, you have it everything on the head.
What does "meat sweats" mean??
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jul 23, 2016 1:06:02 GMT
My first reaction was in line with most of the responders here, but the more I think about it, the more I think supersoda has a point. She has not purchased animal products for you for two years, so you knew it was a problem for her, and you let it go. She doesn't refuse to help out at all; she just doesn't want to purchase the animal stuff. I dunno. Let me be clear that you were well within your rights to ask (especially as a special favor), but it's not surprising that she said No - she's consistent. I think suddenly taking away privileges would be weird and out of the blue, since you've accommodated her for two years. If you've decided you've had enough, then sitting down with her calmly and telling her that you can't do it any more is fine. Full disclosure: I am a vegetarian, but not vegan, and I'm not a PETA member or anything. Like a pp, I have no problem picking up closed containers of meat-containing products that I wouldn't eat, but I would not be wild about going to the butcher counter for a drippy foam tray of meat. I totally agree with this and with supersodaI don't really understand the whole pea manifesto of my house, my rules/my kids don't have a choice/ungrateful brats/move out the second you graduate. We're talking about a college kid. How is she supposed to move out on her own or support herself? I swear the peas chose to bring their kids into the world, but then they want their kids to kiss their feet for providing the things they are obligated to provide. The constant my house, my rules attitude here makes me crazy. I want my kids to know this is *their* house. That they are always welcome here. They never have to leave and they can always come back. I wouldn't ask a Muslim to buy me pork. I wouldn't ask a Mormon to buy me alcohol. I wouldn't ask a vegan to buy cream. I wouldn't buy anyone cigarettes, ever, under any circumstances. I think it is unreasonable of the OP to be fine and supportive of this for 2.5 years and then suddenly get pissed and throw a fit about it. Don't you all remember what it was like when you were in college/late teens/early 20s? To be defining yourself and finding your own philosophy and to be really, really passionate about it and really, really sure you are right? While some could agree with this on principle ---here's the thing--- It was a favor needed by mom, seems like once in 2.5 years that she's even asked, so that mom could make something special for son/Dd's brother. You make an exception when it comes to helping another family member who helps you and us generous with you.
|
|
|
Post by mlynn on Jul 23, 2016 1:07:57 GMT
You know what else? If her philosophy is such that she cannot make that purchase for you, shouldn't she refuse to shop at a grocer that sells animal products? She is being ridiculous - holier than thou ridiculous.
|
|
|
Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 23, 2016 1:12:02 GMT
How does she handle cross contamination in the house with the knives, forks and spoons and glasses? I assume she needed all new plates and cutlery and drink wear. I've never understood orthodox jewish rules regarding this. The dishwasher temperature kills all germs. If I go to a sandwich/bagel/pizza place I will ask them to clean the knife before slicing my sandwich. And to change gloves. I also don't think the OP should be asking a bunch of meat eaters their opinion on something her vegan daughter does. And just because someone in this thread knows one vegan that does something, doesn't mean that all vegans should too. I know a vegetarian who will eat food made with chicken broth and another one who will take meat out of a sandwich and eat the rest. That doesn't mean the expectation should be the same for me. The part that was bugging me was the daughter wouldn't pick up a pint of cream. I just took it to the extreme the way the daughter did. Once the knife is contaminated with animal blood it's tainted for life? Just like a quart of milk. I don't get the whole halal thing either. I am not Jewish and I barely practice Islam and would be kicked out if they saw me having bbq smokies last night (they don't really kick you out!)
|
|
|
Post by leftturnonly on Jul 23, 2016 1:18:33 GMT
No, it's not unreasonable for you to ask. Yes, she's being a brat in not picking it up for you. For some reason, this just hit me really WRONG and I am so upset and crying over it. It's the little things like this that tend to undo me, too.
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,173
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Jul 23, 2016 1:20:11 GMT
I think it's unreasonable for the daughter not to help out with something small like this. I do think young people who have principles such as this can get s little myopic and forget what's enabling them to make these choices in life. So it's a good time to sit down and have a discussion about what her beliefs mean for the family and who is responsible for what. If I'm going out of my way to accommodate her I think she should be willing to accommodate me a little in turn. But I would hate to violate her ethical beliefs by forcing her hand. So my suggestion is a conversation: what is and isn't she willing to purchase for me at the store, what am I and am I not willing to purchase for her in terms of specialty sourced food and beauty items. And if it is all one sided - she wants all the accommodation or I have all the expectation - then maybe some negotiations need to be had. I agree with this. But - I know that I would have been sorely tempted to make the trip to get the cream - and explain that the extra time away meant that I was unable to prepare any vegan items for the meal. Yeah, sometimes I can be a little petty.
|
|
|
Post by mlynn on Jul 23, 2016 1:21:39 GMT
I have never smoked. I have never played the lottery. But back when my husband smoked, I was known to buy his cigarettes on occasion (particularly if he did not feel well or had high pain levels). And my mom played the lottery. She asked me to buy her a ticket once, and I did. I felt a bit odd, but I did it. It was a reasonable request, it was legal, I was at the store, and I did it. Courtesy and respect. And caring.
|
|
|
Post by leftturnonly on Jul 23, 2016 1:21:55 GMT
I'm not vegan, but plant-based. I may not know her exact reason, but can guess. For true vegans, who are in it for animal-rights, the purchase of ANY animal products goes against the core of their beliefs. They don't want any part, even if it's not for them, of purchasing animal products. It would be like a Christian being asked to purchase a satanic book (or something similar) to bring home to someone else. It goes completely against their beliefs and they don't want any part of it. Yes, this is exactly her argument. She won't have anything to do with non-vegan items. I've been paying for her expensive vegan toiletries for over two years now as well. She does work part time so she would just say that she is earning the money to pay for them. However, her spending her work money on this just means that she isn't helping pay for her college. I'm feeling very disappointed that I raised such an inconsiderate, unbending child right now.Her commitment seems to go only as far as her own comfort.
|
|
johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
|
Post by johnnysmom on Jul 23, 2016 1:47:29 GMT
I agree with whoever said it's easy to stick to something when someone else is doing all the work for you.
While I can understand not wanting to cut her off or kick her out i would certainly stop making things easy on her. She can buy/cook all of her own food. If you want you can pay for them (just give her the cash equal to, or even slightly less than, what you spend on her portion of the groceries). She's going to need to learn how to shop/budget soon enough. You don't have to make her spend her money but you should make her spend her time.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 2:07:18 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2016 1:51:38 GMT
I agree with whoever said it's easy to stick to something when someone else is doing all the work for you. While I can understand not wanting to cut her off or kick her out i would certainly stop making things easy on her. She can buy/cook all of her own food. If you want you can pay for them (just give her the cash equal to, or even slightly less than, what you spend on her portion of the groceries). She's going to need to learn how to shop/budget soon enough. You don't have to make her spend her money but you should make her spend her time. And let her put the effort into the cooking. Save
|
|
|
Post by alexa11 on Jul 23, 2016 1:54:34 GMT
I'm not vegan, but I think it's ridiculous. It was a simple request. You didn't ask her to eat it.
|
|
|
Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Jul 23, 2016 2:01:49 GMT
I am sorry your DD upset you. I would be hurt as well. She's been vegan for 2.5 years, and you have been her mother, taking care of her, for 20 years. She just let you know she feels she has more responsibility to the animals than to you, while she is living off your dime on easy street. In my home, that would end TODAY. My DS17 was not excited to go to the store and buy his sister tampons the other day. DD14 forgot to tell me she was out of supplies, and woke up to a crime scene. She was too afraid to go in the store with just TP in her underwear, so he offered to just go for her. He didn't want her sitting on a wad of TP waiting four hours for me to get home, and I'm sure he didn't want her in his car with nothing but TP between her, and his seat. People do things for other people that make them uncomfortable, but they do it anyway, because they love that person. I realize my DS is not morally opposed to menstrual cycles, but if your DD can tolerate living with carnivores , she can tolerate picking up a sealed carton of cream, or any other non vegan item you ask her to. She wants her cake, and to eat it too.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 2:07:18 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2016 2:11:29 GMT
And really, really damn grateful they were still supporting me in any way. OP, I think this upset you so much because you are probably already emotional about your DS leaving. I would guess that this normally would irritate you, but not send you off the emotional deep end. That said, I think you are in the right. Your DD needs to appreciate the sacrifices you have made for her diet over the last 2.5 years and and suck it up a little bit and help you. You don't need to kick her out on her ear, but a discussion of what kind of give and take is expected in adult relationships wouldn't go amiss. And I'd give the neighbors "meat sweats" as well. I hope you feel better, had cream with dessert, and soon enjoy being an empty nester. Yes, Peal, you have it everything on the head.
What does "meat sweats" mean??Here's an explanation of meat sweats
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,375
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
|
Post by cycworker on Jul 23, 2016 2:23:42 GMT
It isn't as though you asked her to milk the damn cow. Your daughter is out of line.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 2:07:18 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2016 2:24:47 GMT
OP - you've probably had enough of people telling you that your daughter is a spoiled brat or worse.
I hope that while she was at the store that she reconsidered and brought home some cream. If she didn't, then I hope at some point down the road, she realizes that her commitment to veganism should be second to kindness to others. She's young, it will come.
Mostly I hope that you have a good dinner with your son before he moves. I suspect that emotions are high on everyone's part.
(I'd still bring one of those whole lambs from Costco home and put it on my counter to thaw for the next 2 days just because I'm mean like that)
|
|
|
Post by chaosisapony on Jul 23, 2016 2:47:17 GMT
To me this doesn't have anything to do with being vegan, it's just an issue of her lack of respect and courtesy. You have supported and accommodated her choices for two years and she will not extend the same courtesy to you in one simple action. She is being rude and ungrateful. Her life choices don't get to dictate how she treats those around her.
You should have her read this thread, she probably has no idea how rude she is being.
|
|
|
Post by *leslie* on Jul 23, 2016 4:10:39 GMT
My cousin and his wife have been vegan for over 20 years, (the food at their wedding was completely vegan), and they wouldn't have a problem with it.
|
|
|
Post by beebee on Jul 23, 2016 4:23:21 GMT
My first reaction was in line with most of the responders here, but the more I think about it, the more I think supersoda has a point. She has not purchased animal products for you for two years, so you knew it was a problem for her, and you let it go. She doesn't refuse to help out at all; she just doesn't want to purchase the animal stuff. I dunno. Let me be clear that you were well within your rights to ask (especially as a special favor), but it's not surprising that she said No - she's consistent. I think suddenly taking away privileges would be weird and out of the blue, since you've accommodated her for two years. If you've decided you've had enough, then sitting down with her calmly and telling her that you can't do it any more is fine. Full disclosure: I am a vegetarian, but not vegan, and I'm not a PETA member or anything. Like a pp, I have no problem picking up closed containers of meat-containing products that I wouldn't eat, but I would not be wild about going to the butcher counter for a drippy foam tray of meat. I totally agree with this and with supersoda I don't really understand the whole pea manifesto of my house, my rules/my kids don't have a choice/ungrateful brats/move out the second you graduate. We're talking about a college kid. How is she supposed to move out on her own or support herself? I swear the peas chose to bring their kids into the world, but then they want their kids to kiss their feet for providing the things they are obligated to provide. The constant my house, my rules attitude here makes me crazy. I want my kids to know this is *their* house. That they are always welcome here. They never have to leave and they can always come back. I wouldn't ask a Muslim to buy me pork. I wouldn't ask a Mormon to buy me alcohol. I wouldn't ask a vegan to buy cream. I wouldn't buy anyone cigarettes, ever, under any circumstances. I think it is unreasonable of the OP to be fine and supportive of this for 2.5 years and then suddenly get pissed and throw a fit about it. Don't you all remember what it was like when you were in college/late teens/early 20s? To be defining yourself and finding your own philosophy and to be really, really passionate about it and really, really sure you are right? This. It doesn't sound like your daughter refusing to buy the cream was anything against you. Instead it was an action taken that goes along with her core beliefs. I do think you are a wonderful mom to accommodate her and I am glad she is a appreciative of it!
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Jul 23, 2016 4:39:01 GMT
She should have bought you the cream. Period.
Since her beliefs are so important to her, it would be a great life lesson to let her shoulder all of the costs and meal prep that her way of life demands.
And, if she isn't willing to do reasonable chores for the family, she should probably find a place to live where she isn't beholden to anyone.
|
|
StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,663
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
|
Post by StephDRebel on Jul 23, 2016 4:40:09 GMT
It's interesting that the daughter is a giant asshole for doing the same thing that she has been doing/not doing for over 2 years without it being a problem. .
She didn't change her behavior today, yet the op was 'so upset and crying' over behavior that should have been expected based On the past.
I can't imagine being 'so upset and crying' over a trip to the store or behavior that I've okayed for this long. Kind of assy behavior too imo .
It sounds like communication us a big issue, and you both need to grow up.
|
|
|
Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Jul 23, 2016 5:13:13 GMT
How does she handle cross contamination in the house with the knives, forks and spoons and glasses? I assume she needed all new plates and cutlery and drink wear. I've never understood orthodox jewish rules regarding this. The dishwasher temperature kills all germs. If I go to a sandwich/bagel/pizza place I will ask them to clean the knife before slicing my sandwich. And to change gloves. I also don't think the OP should be asking a bunch of meat eaters their opinion on something her vegan daughter does. And just because someone in this thread knows one vegan that does something, doesn't mean that all vegans should too. I know a vegetarian who will eat food made with chicken broth and another one who will take meat out of a sandwich and eat the rest. That doesn't mean the expectation should be the same for me. Bull shit! It has nothing to do with meat eaters vs vegans. It's about family responsibilities, and respect. Her DD is a 20 year old woman getting an almost free ride on OPs dime.. She lives with meat eaters, and with her vegan food in their fridge. If she is at the store spending her mother's money on her special vegan diet, the least she can do is hold her nose, and pick up some friggin cream for the lady cooking most her vegan food, and paying her bills. OP is not asking her to eat the cream. Just throw the f-ing carton of cream in the chicken/ beef/pork "juice/blood" previously saturated cart, and pay for it. If she is not capable of that, she needs to be paying her own way, in her own home. Being vegan does not give you the right to bite the hand that is feeding you, or give it the middle finger. Why should OP be expected to accommodate her DD, but DD has no responsibility in accommodating OP? Life is a two way street.
|
|
Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,218
Jun 26, 2014 0:09:18 GMT
|
Post by Peamac on Jul 23, 2016 5:34:44 GMT
If she's been vegan for 2.5 years, I'd expect her to know about vegan cream options, like the ones annabella mentioned. She's going to have to learn a lot about vegan grocery shopping once she's living on her own.
|
|
happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Aug 6, 2014 23:57:56 GMT
|
Post by happymomma on Jul 23, 2016 6:10:39 GMT
I've never understood orthodox jewish rules regarding this. The dishwasher temperature kills all germs. If I go to a sandwich/bagel/pizza place I will ask them to clean the knife before slicing my sandwich. And to change gloves. I also don't think the OP should be asking a bunch of meat eaters their opinion on something her vegan daughter does. And just because someone in this thread knows one vegan that does something, doesn't mean that all vegans should too. I know a vegetarian who will eat food made with chicken broth and another one who will take meat out of a sandwich and eat the rest. That doesn't mean the expectation should be the same for me. Bull shit! It has nothing to do with meat eaters vs vegans. It's about family responsibilities, and respect. Her DD is a 20 year old woman getting an almost free ride on OPs dime.. She lives with meat eaters, and with her vegan food in their fridge. If she is at the store spending her mother's money on her special vegan diet, the least she can do is hold her nose, and pick up some friggin cream for the lady cooking most her vegan food, and paying her bills. OP is not asking her to eat the cream. Just throw the f-ing carton of cream in the chicken/ beef/pork "juice/blood" previously saturated cart, and pay for it. If she is not capable of that, she needs to be paying her own way, in her own home. Being vegan does not give you the right to bite the hand that is feeding you, or give it the middle finger. Why should OP be expected to accommodate her DD, but DD has no responsibility in accommodating OP? Life is a two way street. Gotta say, I agree with this. As a vegan, I have cooked my husband plenty of non-vegan food. I even sit with him at a restaurant when he is eating a steak! Gasp! I also ride in a vehicle, which has tires: "Even when food can have hidden animal ingredients, you can still take the time to look at the label to see it. With your car or bike tires, it's a little more difficult. But here's the trick: check with the manufacturer if they use animal-based stearic acid, which helps the rubber in tires hold shape under steady surface friction." I admire her devotion, I really do. But it seems she's taking a hard line approach to veganism when it suits her. She will learn in life that compromises are unavoidable. We all simply do the very best we can. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to not only be kind to animals, but not forget to be kind to humans too. You sound like an incredibly caring momma. Kindness on her part would dictate that she respects you enough to do an occasional favor that doesn't consist of her spending her money on animal products or consuming animal products. You make sacrifices as her parent to make her life smooth and run according to her beliefs. She needs to learn that once in a while she is going to come into contact with animal products, if she wants to live in a home, ride in a car, etc. If she can ride in a car because it is convenient then she can further your convenience by touching a container of food she doesn't believe in. Concessions are made in life. Period. She sounds a bit immature, due to her age and not living real life as we know it at our ages. She will learn a lot of lessons in the years to come, and this is just one of those.
|
|