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Post by CarolT on Jul 23, 2016 15:45:15 GMT
I think I would have a conversation with dd. Calmly explain that you realize that her vegan commitment is important to her. You assumed that picking up a non-vegan item as a special favor to you would be something she would reasonably be willing to do. Obviously that isn't the case. From this point forward, you're not going to do anything to undermine her commitment, but since you don't share that commitment, she will need to be the one responsible for her vegan lifestyle. No more vegan meal prep, kitchen maintenance, or shopping by mom.
If maintaining a vegan lifestyle is important to her, she needs to be the one doing the work.
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Post by blarneygirl on Jul 23, 2016 16:00:51 GMT
If you had asked her to select a pork tenderloin or something of that sort, and she had objections, I could understand. I can't understand picking up a carton of whipping cream. She eats in the same kitchen where meat is prepared and served. I think she needs to get over herself. That would be the end of meal accommodation for me. I might even be tempted to sprinkle some cheese into things I may not have in the past. very immature way to deal with conflict and spiteful - it demeans and undervalues her daughter's entire life philosophy i can not imagine, no matter how upset i was, doing something like this gina In the heat of emotion you've never been tempted to say or do something? I can honestly say I'm not that perfect. I have a teenager and a college student home on break home for the summer. I have felt some disappointment in both of them over the course of the summer. I've been very tempted to say and react differently than what I ultimately have chosen to do. I would have felt the same disappointment the OP felt after supporting her (both effort in meal prep and financially for the personal care products she wishes to use) during the course of her philosophical changes. Yes, I might be "tempted" to make the food I prepare unavailable to her. Ultimately, I may decide differently. After all of the accommodations, her philosophy doesn't trump consideration towards her mother who has obviously been supportive.
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Post by Drew on Jul 23, 2016 16:07:46 GMT
Seems like the OP is picking up the tab for her adult daughter's lifestyle choice. All dd has to do is bring the fork to her mouth (the fork that mom has made sure is not contaminated).
We all do things we don't want to do. These are often called favors. DD should have done her mom this favor.
DD is in for an awakening when she moves out. She'll have to suddenly do ALL the work to support her vegan choice. Frankly, she sounds wholly unprepared.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Jul 23, 2016 16:13:33 GMT
very immature way to deal with conflict and spiteful - it demeans and undervalues her daughter's entire life philosophy i can not imagine, no matter how upset i was, doing something like this gina In the heat of emotion you've never been tempted to say or do something? I can honestly say I'm not that perfect. I have a teenager and a college student home on break home for the summer. I have felt some disappointment in both of them over the course of the summer. I've been very tempted to say and react differently than what I ultimately have chosen to do. I would have felt the same disappointment the OP felt after supporting her (both effort in meal prep and financially for the personal care products she wishes to use) during the course of her philosophical changes. Yes, I might be "tempted" to make the food I prepare unavailable to her. Ultimately, I may decide differently. After all of the accommodations, her philosophy doesn't trump consideration towards her mother who has obviously been supportive. no, i can't say i've been tempted to do something that would cause my child to loose complete trust in me and i'm far from perfect i have a 26, 22, and 19 year old - all will very strong willed (and that sometimes means 'pain in the ass) gina
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,825
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
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Post by JustTricia on Jul 23, 2016 16:19:50 GMT
How did things start two and a half years ago? When she said she was going vegan, did you have a discussion about it? How shopping, meal prep, meal suggestions, etc, would go? Or did you just start accommodating her?
My mom is irritated as hell with my father. She can't sit down to a meal until at least five minutes after all the food is on the table because she'll have to get up at least three times to get him something from the refrigerator four steps from his chair.
She can't make herself a snack or lunch or breakfast if he is in the room without him expecting her to make him something as well. She may be making toast but will end up making bacon and scrambled eggs for him and then getting to her toast fifteen minutes later. After making him coffee, of course.
And she gets pissed. And I tell her she doesn't tell him no. She doesn't tell him to make it himself. She doesn't tell him to get up from the table and get whatever himself. She just does it. And has for 54 years. She can't get mad at him for not reading her mind that she doesn't want to do something she has done for 54 years without ever telling him she has a problem with it.
If the OP just started doing all the meals for her daughter without a discussion, then she needs to have a discussion with her daughter now as to what the expectations are. But if she's done all the prep and all up to this point, with no help from the daughter, you can't hold that against the daughter. Yes, she should be appreciative and not disrespectful, but that's due to living at home and being respectful in general.
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 23, 2016 16:21:57 GMT
I think I would have a conversation with dd. Calmly explain that you realize that her vegan commitment is important to her. You assumed that picking up a non-vegan item as a special favor to you would be something she would reasonably be willing to do. Obviously that isn't the case. From this point forward, you're not going to do anything to undermine her commitment, but since you don't share that commitment, she will need to be the one responsible for her vegan lifestyle. No more vegan meal prep, kitchen maintenance, or shopping by mom. If maintaining a vegan lifestyle is important to her, she needs to be the one doing the work. Mom, it sounds like you've gone above and beyond to encourage and support your daughter's vegan lifestyle and that is awesome of you to do! But I think what Carol said is correct, it's time for dd to take responsibility for her own lifestyle choices. I wouldn't do it in a "you didn't help me so now I won't help you" kind of rant, but I would explain that perhaps the current situation is maybe not what is best for you. You respect her choices but she needs to respect yours. Regarding your daughter and her not wanting to get the whipping cream; I do understand that and don't think it's wrong of her. It's against her personal beliefs to use or purchase items that are not vegan. As someone else said, I wouldn't ask someone who eats kosher to pick up a package of pork rinds for me and I wouldn't ask someone who is against drinking alcohol to pick up a bottle of wine for me either.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 5:10:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2016 16:23:04 GMT
This sums it up for me...
And paying for it.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 23, 2016 16:23:29 GMT
Scenerio: Parent has ordered a cake from a bakery that refuses to make wedding cakes for gay couples and/or interracial couples. The owner has been linked to the kkk and has also made comments against Jews, but they make the best cakes in the areas
Child believes the cake place is wrong and refuses to support said bakery
Should the child be made to pick up and pay for the cake from that bakery
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,658
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Jul 23, 2016 16:27:07 GMT
So I'm wondering what you did and how it went?
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,825
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
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Post by JustTricia on Jul 23, 2016 16:27:20 GMT
Oh, and about picking things up against your beliefs. If you were anti-gun and your husband owned guns, would you pick up bullets for him if you were already shopping at Wal-Mart? Would you stop eating dinner with him (Christian vs satanic worshipper comment from earlier)? Would you move out of the house and get a divorce over that? If you're pro-Trump and your child is pro-Clinton, do you make them move out so not to have to share the same table? Or would you realize that you both have different viewpoints and that's life?
Respect is the bottom line. She can say no, but be respectful about it. The veganism doesn't have anything to do with how she treated her mom or whether mom did all the cooking.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,663
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Jul 23, 2016 16:29:20 GMT
It's interesting that the daughter is a giant asshole for doing the same thing that she has been doing/not doing for over 2 years without it being a problem. . She didn't change her behavior today, yet the op was 'so upset and crying' over behavior that should have been expected based On the past. I can't imagine being 'so upset and crying' over a trip to the store or behavior that I've okayed for this long. Kind of assy behavior too imo . It sounds like communication us a big issue, and you both need to grow up. I don't think the daughter is a giant asshole and I don't think the OP is upset and crying over a carton of whipped cream. Her son is going away, she's spoken before about her daughters complete lack of empathy for other people. I think the circumstances surrounding this event are what sparked the tears. Picking up a tub of cream for a mother who is already frazzled is not a big deal or it shouldn't be. I don't disagree in any way. Again, they both need to grow up and try communicating.
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Post by blarneygirl on Jul 23, 2016 16:29:39 GMT
In the heat of emotion you've never been tempted to say or do something? I can honestly say I'm not that perfect. I have a teenager and a college student home on break home for the summer. I have felt some disappointment in both of them over the course of the summer. I've been very tempted to say and react differently than what I ultimately have chosen to do. I would have felt the same disappointment the OP felt after supporting her (both effort in meal prep and financially for the personal care products she wishes to use) during the course of her philosophical changes. Yes, I might be "tempted" to make the food I prepare unavailable to her. Ultimately, I may decide differently. After all of the accommodations, her philosophy doesn't trump consideration towards her mother who has obviously been supportive. no, i can't say i've been tempted to do something that would cause my child to loose complete trust in me and i'm far from perfect i have a 26, 22, and 19 year old - all will very strong willed (and that sometimes means 'pain in the ass) gina Trust is a 2-way street. Support goes both ways. Particularly with an older child. Like I said, she wasn't asking her to pick up a big slab of pink giggly meat. It was a carton of whipping cream. Particularly after all of the support and accomodations. The young lady keeps her food in the same refrigerator with items just like this. You can try to shame me as much as you want, but I'm just not going to feel bad about a "thought" for how I might, in an emotional moment, want to react to something.
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Post by gar on Jul 23, 2016 16:29:57 GMT
Scenerio: Parent has ordered a cake from a bakery that refuses to make wedding cakes for gay couples and/or interracial couples. The owner has been linked to the kkk and has also made comments against Jews, but they make the best cakes in the areas Child believes the cake place is wrong and refuses to support said bakery Should the child be made to pick up and pay for the cake from that bakery Seriosly? Well she's not supporting the bakery, her mum is so I don't se why not.
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,128
Jun 29, 2014 18:58:47 GMT
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Post by scrapnnana on Jul 23, 2016 16:48:27 GMT
Seems like the OP is picking up the tab for her adult daughter's lifestyle choice. All dd has to do is bring the fork to her mouth (the fork that mom has made sure is not contaminated). We all do things we don't want to do. These are often called favors. DD should have done her mom this favor. DD is in for an awakening when she moves out. She'll have to suddenly do ALL the work to support her vegan choice. Frankly, she sounds wholly unprepared. I agree. FWIW, I asked my 23 year old DS what he thought. He felt the girl was being ridiculous, too, especially since she was living under her mother's roof. Unless the girl is paying full room and board, she could and should help out at least a little. I honestly don't think it is a "control issue" for most posters who feel the girl is being a twit. It's about cooperation and kindness in a family. Instead, the girl treated her mom with callous disregard. The girl is about to go out into the real world, and she seems to think the world revolves around her. She's likely to learn a few things the hard way after she leaves home. It would be kinder for her mom to teach her the importance of working with others cooperatively before she leaves in a month. Her having to do all her own cooking for the month she remains at home would help her to at least prepare a little for being on her own, as well as (hopefully) help her learn to appreciate just how much her mom has been doing for her. Most of us love our kids and just want them to turn out to be decent people. It's not about control or vindictiveness, as a few here seem to assume. It's about determining what is appropriate discipline when a parent suddenly realizes their child is ungrateful, uncooperative, entitled, and self-centered. Being a doormat or allowing it to continue as it has would only reinforce the inappropriate behavior.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 23, 2016 17:10:39 GMT
Scenerio: Parent has ordered a cake from a bakery that refuses to make wedding cakes for gay couples and/or interracial couples. The owner has been linked to the kkk and has also made comments against Jews, but they make the best cakes in the areas Child believes the cake place is wrong and refuses to support said bakery Should the child be made to pick up and pay for the cake from that bakery Good lord. That was a tortured scenario. All you forgot was the moon is in the 7th house, sacrifice of goats is involved, and I'd throw in someone with a disability, too, for good measure. It's not like topics don't get off course around here enough on their own. You win the "way to muddy the waters" award for today.
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Post by Frazzled Mom on Jul 23, 2016 17:11:02 GMT
I don't really understand the whole pea manifesto of my house, my rules/my kids don't have a choice/ungrateful brats/move out the second you graduate. We're talking about a college kid. How is she supposed to move out on her own or support herself? I swear the peas chose to bring their kids into the world, but then they want their kids to kiss their feet for providing the things they are obligated to provide. The constant my house, my rules attitude here makes me crazy. I want my kids to know this is *their* house. That they are always welcome here. They never have to leave and they can always come back. I wouldn't ask a Muslim to buy me pork. I wouldn't ask a Mormon to buy me alcohol. I wouldn't ask a vegan to buy cream. I wouldn't buy anyone cigarettes, ever, under any circumstances. I think it is unreasonable of the OP to be fine and supportive of this for 2.5 years and then suddenly get pissed and throw a fit about it. Don't you all remember what it was like when you were in college/late teens/early 20s? To be defining yourself and finding your own philosophy and to be really, really passionate about it and really, really sure you are right? I agree with this completely and I'm in the same boat. My son became a vegan this year and feels the same way about buying any animal products as the OP's daughter. We live in the middle of nowhere and it would be so much easier if he felt comfortable picking up groceries for me while he's in civilization, but he doesn't and I RESPECT his choice because I raised him to make his own choices. What kind of a hypocrite would I be if I only supported his veganism when it was convenient for me? I would not ask a Muslim to buy me pork and I don't ask my son to buy me cream. Though he's more than willing to buy the vegan equivalent of things and cook them for us. So respectfully, I support the OP's daughter's behavior and think it was wrong for the OP to expect the kid to ignore her own values for a dinner party. Though I think the two of them need to sit down and talk about the issue some more...
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Post by cannmom on Jul 23, 2016 17:14:51 GMT
If I were the OP I would have been upset as well. It sounds as if the family has been very wiling to make accommodations for the daughter's vegan lifestyle and she is not willing to make any in return. When you are young sometimes its difficult to see that everything is not black and white. I wonder if she would have responded differently if an employer or friend had asked her to pick up a non-vegan item?
I wouldn't refuse to support her at all in the vegan lifestyle; but it probably is time that she starts to take more responsibility for living that lifestyle.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 23, 2016 17:41:02 GMT
Scenerio: Parent has ordered a cake from a bakery that refuses to make wedding cakes for gay couples and/or interracial couples. The owner has been linked to the kkk and has also made comments against Jews, but they make the best cakes in the areas Child believes the cake place is wrong and refuses to support said bakery Should the child be made to pick up and pay for the cake from that bakery Good lord. That was a tortured scenario. All you forgot was the moon is in the 7th house, sacrifice of goats is involved, and I'd throw in someone with a disability, too, for good measure. It's not like topics don't get off course around here enough on their own. You win the "way to muddy the waters" award for today. YESSSS, I WON SOMETHING!!! My point is that if someone is vegan based on a belief that using animals for food is cruel and unethical, why should they then turn and support that industry? I would not walk into a bakery in the above scenerio based on my belief. I'm not sure why the daughter should have to compromise her ethics. Daughter could have been less of a bitch about it, but I don't think someone holding their beliefs is a bad thing.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jul 23, 2016 17:46:37 GMT
And we apparently have a fundamental difference in parenting styles. I want my kids to develop their own principles and moral compasses. I want them to stand up for what they believe in. Sometimes its a pain in my ass. Sometimes I don't agree with them. But I'm not going to cut off all support from an otherwise good kid because of one inconvenience. Seriously, all the big talk of taking away her car, preparing only carnivorous meals, and otherwise cutting her off is just ridiculous. And yes, asking her to purchase is asking her to compromise her principles. I would never ask my nondrinking family members to pick up booze. And there's no way I'm buying cigarettes for anybody. I completely agree with you. If a husband took the stance voltagain is suggesting with his SAHM wife, the peas would call it abusive and tell her to leave. But, sure, go ahead and treat your kids that way. I think that our world and our economy has changed. It is not physically possible for college students to move out on their own and support themselves. Old peas may have done it when they were in college. Things are different now. I swear so many peas have the "well when I was in college I walked uphill both ways in the snow" so kids today should be grateful at how easy they have it attitude. I don't get to control someone because I pay bills. I don't get to decide a person's religion, philosophy, or morals because I provide them food. I don't get to call it "generosity" when I provide food and a roof to a child I am obligated to provide those things to in the first place. I think I must care about my future relationship with my adult children much more than most peas do. There are so many iron fisted, cruel, bitches of moms here who I would cut ties with and never look back had they been my parent. Remember when you treat your children this way - someday they will control access to your grandchildren; someday you will beg to spend time with them and they will say no; someday you will want them to take care of you and they (unlike you) are under no obligation to say yes. Are you kidding me? That is just a shitty thing to say. We all have our lines as parents. You force your family to undress outside because you are such a germaphobe, but I don't think anyone called you a shitty parent over that. OP's daughter is 23. She's living at home, for whatever reason, and her parents are still supporting her. They pay for her vegan food and mom prepares it. She has received plenty of support from them and has shown little gratitude in return. Her mother asked her to pick up a container of cream, not to milk the cow or slaughter it for dinner, for crying out loud. I don't believe it is my obligation as a parent to support my children into perpetuity and I don't believe I am an awful person for thinking that. It is my job as a parent to help my children become self-sufficient adults, and doing things you don't want to do is part of being an adult, in my book. If OP's daughter someday keeps the grandchildren away because her mother dared ask her to purchase a carton of cream, well. I think it says a great deal more about the daughter's lack of character than the OP's.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jul 23, 2016 17:51:25 GMT
Good lord. That was a tortured scenario. All you forgot was the moon is in the 7th house, sacrifice of goats is involved, and I'd throw in someone with a disability, too, for good measure. It's not like topics don't get off course around here enough on their own. You win the "way to muddy the waters" award for today. YEDDDD, I WON SOMETHING!!! My point is that if someone is vegan based on a belief that using animals for food is cruel and unethical, why should they then turn and support that industry? I would not walk into a bakery in the above scenerio based on my belief. I'm not sure why the daughter should have to compromise her ethics. Daughter could have been less of a bitch about it, but I don't think someone holding their beliefs is a bad thing. If the daughter was so committed to her beliefs, she wouldn't allow herself to be supported by her meat-eating parents. She wouldn't stay in a home with meat in it and wouldn't eat food prepared alongside other items that violate her ethics. One of my very good friends has been vegan for over 20 years. She and her husband own a vacation home that they lend out to friends with one caveat: no non-vegan products allowed in their home. Their home, their rules. When they visit their parents' homes (none of whom are vegan), they bring and prepare their own food and respect that they are staying with non-vegans. OP's daughter is behaving like an ungrateful, petulant brat.
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Post by Frazzled Mom on Jul 23, 2016 18:29:17 GMT
I think that our world and our economy has changed. It is not physically possible for college students to move out on their own and support themselves. Old peas may have done it when they were in college. Things are different now. I swear so many peas have the "well when I was in college I walked uphill both ways in the snow" so kids today should be grateful at how easy they have it attitude. I don't get to control someone because I pay bills. I don't get to decide a person's religion, philosophy, or morals because I provide them food. I don't get to call it "generosity" when I provide food and a roof to a child I am obligated to provide those things to in the first place.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jul 23, 2016 18:33:57 GMT
I think that our world and our economy has changed. It is not physically possible for college students to move out on their own and support themselves. Old peas may have done it when they were in college. Things are different now. I swear so many peas have the "well when I was in college I walked uphill both ways in the snow" so kids today should be grateful at how easy they have it attitude. I don't get to control someone because I pay bills. I don't get to decide a person's religion, philosophy, or morals because I provide them food. I don't get to call it "generosity" when I provide food and a roof to a child I am obligated to provide those things to in the first place. "Child" is the operative word here. OP's daughter is 23, well beyond childhood.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 23, 2016 18:47:43 GMT
I think that if the daughter were to have said, "Mom. I love you so much. I am really sorry I can't do that. I know that puts you out, so what can I do to help out in another way? Can I vacuum? Can I pick son up at airport? Can I do x, y or z?" then you know that the daughter wants to help the mom and she is doing what her heart and mind tell her to do.
A no when her mom clearly needs help is just not okay, regardless.
OP, I'm sorry. You know your daughter best. I hope you tell her that her approach was just not okay and the hill she chose to die on was a big one. Maybe you'll get an abject apology and an offer to help in a way she is comfortable with.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 23, 2016 19:41:13 GMT
"Child" is the operative word here. OP's daughter is 23, well beyond childhood. She's still the OP's child. ETA: do we know she's 23? Op says she was a HS senior 2.5 years ago so I was thinking 20/21.
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 23, 2016 19:51:06 GMT
I'm just thinking there's probably a connection between the widespread pea belief of my house, my rules and the pea belief that it's normal for kids to move far away. Zounds. That there is one Grand-Canyon-wide leap. No use providing dozens of examples to refute it, probably... ...But yes, my son plans to move to LA when he graduates to (hopefully) work in film post-production...which both breaks my heart and excites me beyond belief. And no, I do not attribute his decision to the rules my college-age kids are requested to follow when they're home. I can count myself among others who read your thoughts in this thread and immediately thought of things you've revealed in your own posts. Parental autocracy takes many forms, and I'm pretty sure we've all indulged. Doesn't mean any of us is an ironfisted, cruel bitch intent on destroying future relationships. I suppose we have the right to call each other that here, but c'mon...
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Jul 2, 2014 22:14:02 GMT
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Post by trollie on Jul 23, 2016 19:54:43 GMT
She is being rude.
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 23, 2016 20:00:21 GMT
My vegan daughter buys non-vegan stuff for me. However, her diet is based on health, not animal protection, so "apples to oranges." (To respect her, I used a vegan idiom. ) And no, I rarely cook vegan for her. Then again, I rarely cook. I figure I'm honoring her right to choose to go vegan by honoring my own right to choose to be a lazy mother.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 5:10:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2016 20:01:18 GMT
AmeliaBloomer -- have you and I talked about where your DS goes to school? I am lucky in the fact that DD wants to move to Atlanta and work in film/tv production there. She is in Atlanta now doing an internship and then has her Sr year to finish (at UNCSA). I also in no way attribute her decision to our home life. Where we are in NC just isn't conducive to her career chioices. Other DD is in college out of state and I expect in the end that she will live somewhere near us in the same city/county. DS is going into astrophysics...not much work here for that so I suspect he will also live out of state and possibly out of country and very rarely out of our atmosphere LOL. Again not due to home life. I am thankful that my two DDs (21) are very grateful and respectful of the fact that we have paid for their college studies and continue to do so. I can't imagine either one acting like this 23 year old and honestly maybe it is time for this "child" to become her own adult and live with her own beliefs and choices just not on mom and dad's dime. One DD and I have talked about the fact that if she chose to get married while in college that I would have a tough time continuing to pay living expenses (tuition/books/etc: YES, apt, car, insurance, etc : NO). She has quite a few friends that married in college (as I did but myself and DH were both paying 100% of our own bills prior to the marriage), so we've discussed when parents should cut some ties. But we've also discussed that she can live with us while student teaching and in the first year of teaching if she wants to save up money for a Masters degree or future living arrangements while her BF finishes up his degree/certificate program. If she decides she would rather move to the city that his college is in, then she will be 100% responsible for all her living expenses from there on out.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 23, 2016 21:05:15 GMT
Are you kidding me? That is just a shitty thing to say. We all have our lines as parents. You force your family to undress outside because you are such a germaphobe, but I don't think anyone called you a shitty parent over that. WHAT?? myshelly does that???
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on Jul 23, 2016 21:41:20 GMT
Yes, I would say you have raised a brat. I have one of those too. i'd go on to say 'you have a brat' you didn't raise one i swear it's the age i have a pretty self-absorbed 22 yo dd myself but it's damn sure not because i raised her that way it's because some 22 yo's are still a bit immature and still learning how to adult! How does catering to that immaturity help them? I was a homeowner at 22. This age argument is imo just and excuse. Kids they have to adult figure it out. This is a luxury afforded by parents really.
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