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Post by beaglemom on May 15, 2019 18:00:22 GMT
I will be the first to admit that my mother in law isn't my favorite person. And due to some things in the last couple months I am even less inclined to bend over backwards for her. So I know my judgement is clouded on this and I am wondering what the peas say.
She is retiring after almost 40 years from working at a local university as an English as a second language teacher (mostly with foreign exchange students). My husband got an email inviting him to a retirement event for her:
My husband will be out of town doing a triathlon. I will be at home with our 4 kids. We do not have a reliable babysitter. I don't have memories of her teaching to share. Other than my father-in-law it is likely that I won't know anyone else there.
I feel slightly guilty because her family sucks and they aren't planning anything else to celebrate her retirement. But again because of current family drama I am not going to step up to plan something else. And there is no way that either of her daughters are going to make the effort to come out here for it (if they were even invited). But I really don't want to go.
If my dh was in town I would figure out the babysitter situation and go, but I just feel like this is not something I should have to do. Dh forwarded it to me with the note "This is when I'm in xxxxx unfortunately, but you may want to go so forwarding..."
What say the peas?
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Post by beaglemom on May 15, 2019 17:36:21 GMT
So cool!
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Post by beaglemom on May 15, 2019 17:34:16 GMT
I'm jealous that you are getting a refund. Owning two houses (one is for sale) in CA with high property taxes meant that we got royally screwed on taxes this year.
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Post by beaglemom on May 14, 2019 1:20:00 GMT
I just introduced a friend to digital scrapping and she is looking for the following:
Any nice kits or card sets for Jewish holidays that are
NOT just stars of David
NOT just blue/yellow/gold/white
NOT just Hanukkah
She is jumping into digi scrapping feet first and is super excited. I started her with disney stuff after we both went to Disney World for the first time. Now she is wanting to do everything. I found one on the Lilypad and 2 on etsy. But not a lot. So any and all suggestions would be appreciated. In google search Peppermintcreative comes up, but no longer exists!
Thanks!
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Post by beaglemom on May 9, 2019 17:56:34 GMT
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Post by beaglemom on May 8, 2019 16:49:54 GMT
We have a very good friend that has horrible TMJ. He finally resorted to medical marijuana and it has been life changing. Not sure if that is an option where you are. But he was able to severely cut back on the pain medications, to almost zero.
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Post by beaglemom on May 6, 2019 21:42:41 GMT
I should also say that there are a bunch of great, really motivating facebook groups of riders. I would really encourage you to find your "tribe!"
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Post by beaglemom on May 6, 2019 21:40:28 GMT
I got mine in January and I LOVE it! I'm doing my 50th ride tomorrow. Considering we were out of town or without internet most of April and some of March, I'm pretty happy about it! If you want you can use my referral code (5A3BVA) and we each get $100 in free accessories!
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Post by beaglemom on May 1, 2019 4:24:45 GMT
I have a masters and dh has a PhD. Doesn't come up. He works in tech and I was a teacher before becoming a sahm. At this point, if I went back to teaching he would be bringing home 10+ times what I would. Someday I'll go back for something else. At the moment I want to take courses to become more proficient at sewing, our local junior college has a great fashion program. I love sewing for my girls and would love to learn more.
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Post by beaglemom on Apr 29, 2019 19:15:23 GMT
Cleaning the bathrooms (either in full or touch ups, specify)
Vacuuming rooms with carpet
Sweeping/mopping hardwood/tile etc floors?
Wiping down the outside of kitchen appliances (stove, dishwasher, refrigerator etc)
Cleaning the inside of microwave, refrigerator, oven
Cleaning the kitchen sink
Dusting furniture/flat surfaces and knick knacks
Done weekly by the house cleaners.
Wiping down the baseboards
Washing the windows
Cleaning/polishing the kitchen cabinets
Done quarterly by the house cleaners
I love our cleaners. They are wonderful women, they are a great deal, and I would be miserable without them.
I have never been a great housekeeper. DH works a lot of hours and other than dealing with the trash and recycle he doesn't do a lot inside the house. Add 4 kids in the mix and I could never keep up. They come Friday afternoons 2-3 women, it takes them 2-4 hours and we start our weekend off with a nice clean house!
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Post by beaglemom on Apr 29, 2019 17:29:45 GMT
I have a call into the doctor.
Friday, April 16th, we were at Disney World and got caught in a lovely Florida downpour. My socks and shoes got soaked. It was around noon and by the time we got back to our room I was convinced I was going to have blisters all over the back half of my feet because they were hurting so much. No blisters, but red and a little swollen looking. The next morning the same thing plus itchy. No idea if the getting wet has anything to do with it, but it might.
They have stayed this way ever since. Now my palms are also itchy. Some times the itching is super, super intense, other times just annoying. I finally took some Benadryl yesterday because I was going bonkers and that helped for a couple hours. I did it again this morning.
Not sure if it is related, but I have had other itchy areas happen and then go away all over my body the last week. There is no rash. But sometimes when an area is really itching it looks pink and splotchy under the skin.
No fever.
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Post by beaglemom on Apr 28, 2019 22:55:23 GMT
We wrote one for the house we bought a year ago. We did a brief overview on us as a family and then my now 8-year-old dd wrote a letter that was very specific about what she liked about the house and she drew a picture. They loved it so much they left the furniture and everything in the room she said she wanted for her room for her. (Which ended up being kind of a pain later when we had to dispose of it - but it was very sweet).
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Post by beaglemom on Apr 28, 2019 22:50:50 GMT
Whole30/Paleo Pinterest is a mix of Whole 30 and paleo recipes. There are definitely some non-compliant recipes, my assumption on the ones that aren't compliant are that it would just take a little tweaking to make them compliant.
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Post by beaglemom on Apr 8, 2019 17:52:04 GMT
We owe lot. We knew it was going to be a large amount. But it is insane. We are talking about the price of a house in the midwest. Owning two homes in the Bay Area and paying property taxes on them and not being able to write that off just hosed us. Fingers crossed the old house sells soon.
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 28, 2019 2:10:20 GMT
Moving Comfort was bought by Brooks, so maybe check their website? Maybe you’ll find something similar. Lisa B. I tried...it doesn't look like they make undies anymore. |
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 28, 2019 1:52:13 GMT
I have googled for these forward and backward and can't find them. I bought mine originally in 2015 and have worn the 4 pairs I bought then to death. I would love to find more!! WOMENS MOVING COMFORT WORKOUT HIPSTERI am looking for Large or extra large. |
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 25, 2019 5:43:48 GMT
For the quilts.....a friend had a bunch of her mother's quilts. After her mom passed away she kept them and then as the next generation had babies she gifted each new baby one of great grandma's quilts. So that might be an idea...you may have to store them for a bit, but then you can pass them on. I would also check with your kids, if it was things given to them ask if they want it, if not give it away with no guilt!
I'm struggling with a huge barbie doll house that my grandparents made me for my 3rd birthday and then refurbished for me when I was pregnant with my first baby. My daughter is now 8 and hasn't played with it much, the next daughter is 1 so it will be a few years before she is ready to play with it and the thing is huge!!
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 22, 2019 1:19:38 GMT
If they become more frequent valtrex is your best friend. I get them when I'm stressed. I've been on a daily single dose of Valtrex for almost 8 years. I have only gotten a couple in that time - high-stress times or dh has one and I get it. I can feel them coming and do the double then single dose and then it lasts about a day. Do you do it the same way as CeeScraps, 2 pills then another one 3-4 hours later? yup! Totally worked when I felt one coming on 3 days before my wedding!! |
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 22, 2019 0:13:17 GMT
If they become more frequent valtrex is your best friend. I get them when I'm stressed. I've been on a daily single dose of Valtrex for almost 8 years. I have only gotten a couple in that time - high-stress times or dh has one and I get it. I can feel them coming and do the double then single dose and then it lasts about a day.
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 19, 2019 15:45:50 GMT
My oldest niece is the same way and it drives me batty. I have called her out on it before because it was out of control. It is interesting because she is great to everyone else, but with her mom, there is some crazy attitude. I have mostly said something when I have seen my oldest watching because when we visit she tends to come home and try on the behaviors that she sees her cousins get away with that do not fly in my house!
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 12, 2019 6:12:08 GMT
I agree with what you are all saying. And I told dh I'm out on planning.
Mil called tonight and apparently, the oldest sil called her and said they are broke and that summer can't work for them. And now mil is saying they will pay for everyone.
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 12, 2019 6:10:06 GMT
My oldest will be in 5th by fall 2021. I never wanted to go during the school year. I thought summer was great because we could work around school that way. Part of it with Christmas is principal. We are expected to be with his family Dec 16-Jan 2 on their years. So no I don't want to do that. I would like to get to stay home and not have to go somewhere. Since on those off years we are expected to go out to where his sisters are for a week for Thanksgiving. completely understand, although I would put my foot down on the length of time at Christmas. That is overwhelming. Fall break 2020 then? Although honestly missing a week of kinder is not going to hurt anyone in the long run I edited...yes Kinder not that big of a deal. She will be in 4th grade in 2020, 5th in 2021. They were the ones that suggested 2021. |
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 12, 2019 1:46:49 GMT
Pick three dates and ask inlaws to pick. How old is your oldest? Pulling out young elementary is way easier than pulling out a high schooler. Are any of the high schoolers in sports or activities? Ds is a 3 sport athlete and could never miss during the school year. I get the every other year Christmas thing, if you only go for a week, cant you also make Christmas with your family? My oldest will be in 5th grade by fall 2021. I never wanted to go during the school year. I thought summer was great because we could work around school that way. Part of it with Christmas is principal. We are expected to be with his family Dec 16-Jan 2 on their years. So no I don't want to do that. I would like to get to stay home and not have to go somewhere. Since on those off years we are expected to go out to where his sisters are for a week for Thanksgiving. |
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 11, 2019 21:16:44 GMT
The first part isn't really a vent, just hormonal sadness. My littlest will be 1 on the 17th. She has decided to go on a nursing strike. Nursing has been great this whole time and now a week before her birthday she is nipping at me, crying, and pushing the boob away. My other 3 all nursed till 16-18 months. I thought I had more time. She is the last and I am already having a hard enough time with the fact that my baby is going to be 1, adding this in is just making me all kinds of emotional.
Now for the real vent. Dh's family is driving me nuts. Yes I have brought this upon myself and at this point I am 99.9% sure I am just going to back out and let them deal.
At stake - 50th anniversary trip for dh's parents - sometime in 2020 - actual anniversary is April 2020.
Backstory: For my inlaw's 40th anniversary they had made a deal with their kids that if they had 5 grandkids by then they would take all of us to Hawaii. My sils did their duty and between the two of them, there were 5 grandkids! My inlaws took us all to a very nice all-inclusive resort in Hawaii, that is no closed because of the tsunami - hopefully to reopen in 2021 or 2022. In the years since the kids (dh, sils + their dhs, and I) have talked about the fact that we should take the inlaws somewhere for their 50th since they have been so generous.
Over Christmas, while in Cabo (inlaws paid for lodging), we discussed it again. Both sils claimed they are broke - since they are both in the midst of massive kitchen remodels. We pressed and his oldest sister said early August would probably work best for them. After suggesting that we could just do Christmas 2019, but then caught herself and made a comment about me having to do Christmas with my family. Which I got a little defensive about and said, no, I want to spend it with my family. We briefly talked to my inlaws about it and my mil asked me to plan it, in her words because then it would be a good trip (and she rarely says nice things to me - so I am taking that as a huge compliment).
So I brought it up again when we were out visiting in February, trying to confirm dates and get some sort of budget idea from them. Oldest sil's dh was totally clueless and said he had no idea what we were talking about. So I have been in touch with two travel agents trying to figure this out. Both want firmer dates and a budget idea.
Dh and I have talked about it and he is willing to pay for most of the trip for EVERYONE, but he hasn't told his sisters yet, he wanted to see what they would come up with as some sort of a budget. I have mixed feelings about it....I think it is very generous of him and yes we can afford it. But his oldest sister and her dh are both doctors and are willing to drop lots of money on what their kitchen designer tells them to spend it on (+$2,000 on a dishwasher, +$10,000 on a couch), but clothes for their kids, vacations, not so much.
His other sister doesn't make a ton of money, she works at a university and her husband doesn't work. He does odd jobs, golf, and skis.
So after talking to my mil's travel agent and her asking for more specifics I sent an email out. Reiterating that it sounded like August 2020 would work best for everyone and that we were hoping to get some sort of budget idea so we can start planning. I also included that their mother's wish list was beach and warm and that her two suggestions were Costa Rica or a Club Med somewhere.
Side Note: We live 12 minutes from my inlaws, 25 from my parents. Both sisters live a 2.5 hour flight away - a mile from each other. Both sets of their inlaws live on the east coast. Before I entered the picture the siblings and partners did Christmas always with his family. Which I find strange since dh's family is Jewish and one of the bils is a fairly strong Catholic, but whatever. I finally put my foot down the Christmas before our oldest was born and said I want to be home every other year - since that was the arrangement that had always been talked about, but never enforced. The sils did one Christmas with their inlaws back east and decided that wasn't fun, too cold, too expensive. So now my inlaws go to them on the off years, on the on years we all go to Cabo together.
The husband that was clueless before is the only one that initially responded. He said that August doesn't work for him because that is when they go visit his family and that he sometimes has a work conference then. He suggested that Christmas time works better, but that he sort of got that on the off year 2019 that wouldn't be fair to me because of my family.
So I sent out a new email last night to everyone saying that it sounded like Christmas worked better for everyone and asked if one of them would be willing to speak to their parents to see if they are okay doing that instead of Cabo in 2020. I woke up this morning to an email from oldest sil saying that the sils had talked and they think that fall break 2021 sound good. They get a week off in October. She said she doesn't want to have to pull her kids out of school since her oldest will be in high school by then. And sort of acknowledged that we would then have to pull our kids out of school because they don't have that time off. She also mentioned Spring Break as an option but said that theirs probably won't line up with ours.
I decided that I was pretty much done and just archived the email and was going to let dh handle it. But then I just got another email from her responding to the email that her husband sent pointing out that he recommended Christmas 2019, not 2020. I again archived, because the response I started was not going to be nice and I feel like I need to not stir up more crap.
My inlaws aren't my favorite people. But they have been generous with all of us (even if some of that comes with very thick strings attached) and I am really annoyed that their daughters can't get their act together. His parents are constantly paying for things for them and they have had 8.5 years to think about this trip. And they have both talked about that it is something that we should really do for my inlaws because they have done some much for everyone.
And back to dh. He wants this to be nice for his parents. He is trying to not step on his sister's toes. I asked him at what point do we just take his parents somewhere and he said that was last resort. We had also talked about staying longer where ever we went because our 15 year anniversary will be August 2020. And that if we are footing the bill we get to pick where we go.
For reference.... inlaws are in their mid to late 70s, but still very active, running, biking, swimming, golfing, doing triathlons. Then dh, sils and spouses are all 40s. And then the kids. There are now 10 grandkids our baby is the last and then the oldest turned 14 in Cabo. So part of the early planning is that we are planning for 18 people, including kids that will be 2-16. And because of the weird family stuff it needs to be all-inclusive, otherwise, we are going to spend the whole time grocery shopping and cooking (like in Cabo). And since my kids are the youngest, having somewhere with childcare that goes down to age 2 is very important!
Anyhow, like I said at the start I am 99.9% sure I am done trying to make this happen...I just don't know what to tell my mil when she asks about it.
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 3, 2019 5:21:45 GMT
We've been going since 2006. From 2006-2010 we went every Christmas, now we go every other year. We love the Pueblo Bonito resorts. They have an all-inclusive package - there are deals to be had with it! You can get great deals renting units on RedWeek, most lodging in Cabo is timeshares. So rent on Redweek and then sign up for the resort emails and negotiate with one of the sales people - I can give you email addresses! Pueblo Bonito is nice because they have two resorts on the Sea of Cortez in the regular Cabo area and then 10 or so minutes away up on the Pacific coast side they have a huge resort area. There is a 16 and over resort, Pacifica. There is Sunset Beach which is all suites. Then there are the Monte Cristo units - 3-4 bedroom houses and the Novasapania and Govenor houses - they are 4 bedrooms. We go as a huge group -- 18 of us, 8 adults, 10 kids (ages 1-14). There is always tons to do. This past year everyone except me and the 2 littles (9mos & 2 year old) went whale watching, horseback riding, ziplining, ATV-ing, and surfing.
It is very safe. Because of people in our group we have only done all inclusive once, I thought it was great. But there are tons of great restaurants in town that are very affordable. The water is desalinated everywhere in Cabo, so no worries on drinking the water!
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Post by beaglemom on Mar 1, 2019 5:49:49 GMT
I'm so scared for ours. We didn't sell our house like we had hoped. So 2 mortgages and 2 high property taxes (both over the $10,000) mark. We have max withholdings set up, but usually, owe a substantial amount. I am not looking forward to it at all.
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Post by beaglemom on Feb 27, 2019 1:40:25 GMT
I grew up in Texas and lived for several years in the deep South as well. Now I'm in Chicago. I miss: - La Madeleine I went to school in Texas for 3 years. I couldn't think of anything I missed till I read this. La Madeleine tomato soup....yum!! I have a friend that goes back to Dallas regularly and she brings me back a jar every once in a while! |
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Post by beaglemom on Feb 23, 2019 1:43:32 GMT
So I get that you are stressing about it, but I think you are overthinking it.
Granted we have only been a family of 6 for just under a year. But in that time we have flown to Disneyland (from SFO) twice, to Boston, to Cabo, and to Denver.
We tend to fly 4-6 times easily a year. I think the last time we had a luggage issue was 10+ years ago.
With kids the ages of yours the older two should easily be able to pack for themselves. Even at a week trip everyone should be able to pack everything they need in a carry on suitcase + backpack.
Honestly, the idea of driving 10 hours with 4 kids is way more stressful than flying to me!
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Post by beaglemom on Feb 23, 2019 0:35:36 GMT
So growing up we always went to Yosemite for the 4th of July for 4-6 days. And then went on a big vacation every couple of years - Europe, Hawaii. Since we didn't go every year it was a vacation, no cooking, all eating out. So that is what I was used to.
DH's family went on 1-2 vacations a year, always at timeshares, cooking all but maybe one meal on the trip. They are the people that pack lunch to take to the ski lodge when skiing. 10
Now every other year we go to Cabo with his family - 18 of us (8 adults, 10 kids). We are there for 17 days and maybe eat out 3-4 meals. Drives me insane. With that many people someone is at the grocery store every day and cooking for 18 people in a house that isn't yours isn't fun. And then we do 1-4 weeks in Colorado with dh's family too. Either staying at one of his sisters or at the family's mountain house. Cooking and cleaning with all of that.
Dh has learned that I need at least a week of my type of vacation a year to balance the time with his family. We have 4 little kids, so we have been doing Disneyland a bunch. We are doing WDW for the first time in April and already have started the process to also book Feb 2020.
Right now I am trying to plan a 50th anniversary trip for his parents and all the families in August 2020. We have talked about it numerous times over the last couple of years. They took all of us to an all-inclusive in Hawaii for their 40th, so we (dh and I) feel like it is on the kids this time to take them somewhere. Plus they pick up a good bit of the tab in Cabo too. But his sisters are both claiming they are broke and don't think they can even pay for their families, let alone chipping in for his parents. But they are both doing massive, expensive kitchen remodels right now. So we'll probably be picking up most of the tab, but that means we (I) get to pick where we go! We will probably also stay an extra week, cause it will be our 15 anniversary and I'm going to need a week to recover from the time with his family!
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Post by beaglemom on Feb 22, 2019 23:16:17 GMT
We cruise 1 yr and all inclusive the next... we live in West Texas so we also do "weekend" away to San Antonio Austin Dallas or hill country... we are sports and theater people.... and my husband runs half marathon 10k or 5ks around the state... we haven't been a whole lot around the US... we should.. just don't I would love all-inclusive recs! I am trying to plan a trip for my inlaws 50th in 2020. And we are 18 - 8 adults and 10 kids (2-15). I'm having a hard time finding things that fit everything everyone wants! |
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