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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 7, 2020 7:00:24 GMT
I was always the one who would make plans for the worst possible outcome. Having a plan helps to deal with the uncertainty. Plus it helped to keep me calm. When my girls were old enough to start having worries and nervousness, I taught them the same thing. They would get anxious and I would ask them what is the worst thing that could happen - and discuss what they could do about it. It would calm them down and and also teach them how to face their fears and find out they were not as menacing as they thought.
Mother was a widow with four kids, she was also a missionary and had things all planned out if something were to happen to her. We knew exactly what to do and who to contact. It took a lot of worry out of the situation for young teens. I never will forget the comfort of knowing there were things planned out that way. So I made sure to give that same comfort to my family.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 7, 2020 6:48:39 GMT
Husbands can be so clueless!
My husband does things like that. Once he did not come home for Christmas cause he was in Houston and wanted to spend the day with my mother who was "alone" in an assisted living facility. There were lots of nice people who were in the same facility who she ate with and enjoyed the company of. I was alone on Christmas eve and Day with NO hot water cause he was supposed to get home and fix it before Christmas. Other incidents come to mind along the same line. It all came to a head when he was visiting a cousin daily and made a promise to take her to the doctor on a specific day that I had to have a procedure done. At the time I should not have been driving, but had to drive myself. He was upset and has been better about putting me first.
But part of the same problem I see in my marriage and other marriages is the lack of politeness and having to put up with stuff they do not put on others. My husband manages to hold groans and moans in when other are around, but when it is just us, I get the full experience. (His pain is real, he just is not as noisy about it when with others.) Passing gas, burping and picking his nose is only done around me and not others. I just don't get why it is OK to make me see and hear these things. If I say something he gets all hurt and defensive. So I just leave the room.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 1, 2020 18:26:35 GMT
One should remember sleep apnea can cause strokes and death. It is not something to fiddle around with. Also there are different types of sleep apnea - one kind is called obstructive sleep apnea. That might be the kind that can be affected by weight. The other type of sleep apnea is Central sleep apea. A person can have both as well. The sleep study would determine what kind your husband has and how severe it is.
He should get the sleep study and then wear a C-Pap if it is needed. The machine can determine the amount of "episodes" each night and you can track it using an ap on your computer or phone. If he loses weight and it affects the sleep apnea it will show up on the logs kept by his machine.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 31, 2020 0:21:01 GMT
So what about this scenario-- they have to come up with something to answer the critics on how they are not doing away with SS... Your SS taxes instead of coming out of your paycheck could be collected via another means, such as income tax forms where the self employed workers pay their SS contributions. Then they would not be called payroll taxes but still be collected. Thus Trump is then able to add those funds collected to the general fund which would then fulfill his promise and give him access to this money. Shifting money around is the best way to steal it as one hand does not keep track of the other is doing.
The trumpers would then ignore the theft and praise not having to pay SS out their paychecks. Paying it all in one lump sum once a year only brings the subject up once a year and he could plan outrageous things to take their attention off of it each year. Its a sneaky way to do it and not saying that is what he has in mind, but you better believe he will come up with something so as to get his hands on it.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 29, 2020 21:33:03 GMT
I still have issues about this one. We did not know about PTSD in those days.
We were living on the island of Guam in a Quonset hut. Mother was a widow with four kids working as a missionary with Child Evangelism Fellowship. Within three months of arrival, a huge typhoon came in, Typhoon Karen. The winds were gusting over 215 knots, the official wind velocity gauge broke at that point. Tin began peeling off our hut. Neighbor from next door came through the storm to check on us and it was determined that we would move to their hut. On the short steps over there, the wind knocked me off my feet and if I had not been holding my sister's hand I would have been blown who knows where. At the neighbors place, the situation again became dangerous and it was decided to move in towards the next row of huts (our row of huts was on the outside of several rows.) I remember the wife and sister of the neighbor getting ready to move, they were Japanese and had kimonos on. To carry the baby they had, they strapped it to the back of the aunt with a long cloth wrapped around the baby and aunt. It is amazing how much I remember about all of this as it was in 1962. The next house we went to during the storm was were my girlfriend lived. It was leaking in every seam, the mother was drunk and the husband chose to shelter in the car that was parked up close in the lee of the house away from the drunk wife. I slept on the dining table twisted around so as to not be under a leak. Every once in a while the drunk would go to the window to yell at her husband.
The next day after the storm was over it was determined that the children, I was 13, would go to the shelter opened up on the military base to stay the night. It was a barracks and we were given bunk beds to sleep in. Big sister, who was in charge of us, made me take the top bunk and during the night I threw up into her shoes from nerves - the storm, away from mother, strange place, you name it I was a mess. The servicemen running the shelter were basically just kids themselves, around 20 and did not know what to do. They were told to isolate us in case it was something contagious so we were moved upstairs by ourselves. I was taken to the medic who did not know what to do, he thought perhaps it might be typhoid - LOL Mother came and took us home that evening.
For months I would not be able to sleep and would start thinking I had to throw up. Woke my mother up night after night. It was hard times without electricity, running water, etc. She needed her sleep. Finally one night she just snapped, and who can blame her? She basically just told me that I was NOT going to throw up and to just deal with it and not dwell on it. That worked to a point but it was years and years before I would not get that "feeling" at least once or twice a week.
Typhoon Karen really caused a lot of damage on the island. We did not get running water back for about a month or electricity for about four or five months. School did not start back up for three months. One of the two high schools was destroyed, most government offices were destroyed, it was estimated that 99% of the island structures were destroyed.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 28, 2020 20:39:45 GMT
Kittens can be so fearless! Mine had to be put in the bathroom at times to keep her out of trouble. But she grew older and wiser and now shows a bit of restraint about open doors. That bit of hesitation is good. So in order to foster that bit of fear I would not let her get comfortable with being outdoors. But, that is just my two cents worth.
Some of the things that caused my cat to be hesitant and look before she leaps is loud noises, thunderstorms, dogs barking, heavy machinery noises. If she gets out and then panics it might lead to disaster.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 27, 2020 23:29:34 GMT
As a team leader in the early 2000's I finally had to insist that team members responded to all messages - emails and texts with at least with a "got it" If they were not getting them or were having tech difficulties, it was on them to find a solution and fix it. If your team member is not always at home where the silo is, then that is not the issue. Texts and emails come through once the connection is made when getting out of range of the silo.
This sounds cold and uncaring, but communication is what makes team work happen. If team members cannot communicate and respond to messages, then they are not being good team members and need to work on it. ALL the team members need to be made aware that not responding to messages could be a negative issue on performance evaluation. You might also institute a check in on a regular basis for those who will not respond to messages either a face2face or a phone call. Motivate them to want to respond.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 5, 2020 7:13:48 GMT
OK, I stand corrected, I was wrong and will re-watch the video again and look for the terrible ways these men are behaving. You see what you look for.
Yes they are trained to be better than this and I never said what they did was right. Of course there were better ways to handle a man getting in your face like that. But they chose to be bullies.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 5, 2020 6:09:24 GMT
I would feel like I was staying in a hotel and not in a home. I like the word sterile that LeaP used
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 5, 2020 6:05:26 GMT
I wrote this three times and chickened about posting it. Then decided to go ahead as we need to be open and honest here about how we feel. I know I am going to be lambasted and labeled with ugly words, but please look at the video with an open mind, think of the policeman in question as a son or brother and watch again. You would find excuses for him then just like you are now finding fault with him now because he is a policeman.
I hate that this happened and it is a rough world out there. Yes they were rough with the gentleman, BUT if someone gets in my face to yell at me like he was, I am not apt to act peacefully. Then I saw an officer get on his mic and I hope it was to call in for help for him. There were voices saying get a medic, it might have been an officer or it might have been another protestor.
I am not saying he asked for it, but what was the gentleman expecting to happen? The police line had to move forward, did he think that by getting in the way he would be able to stop it? He would not get out of the way. He was pushed, but how hard? The fact he tripped and fell could have been cause he was pushed too hard, or could have been cause he stumbled, or there might have been a crack in the pavement.
I am not supporting anything I saw there, nor am I saying he asked for it, but please look again at the video and see if you can see other ways to interpret what you are seeing.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 4, 2020 6:56:34 GMT
I worry that he will somehow find a way to postpone the election. I truly believe that he would do it if he could find a way and support for it from his base. AND they would be OK with for sure.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 3, 2020 20:24:54 GMT
That $50 would not go very far with their prices. I signed up with them and found their prices were absurd. Yes, their oils are good quality and yes I liked them, but there are essential oils out there that are quality and not half the price.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 2, 2020 16:37:26 GMT
I too live in Texas but realize that it takes time for the body to become used to heat. The fact that it is not only the heat but the stuffiness of closed windows will make it even worse.
Caffeine does help on migraines. Has she even tried that? Codeine can make it worse for some.
She needs to make a log of everything she eats and list the reactions. Start with basic foods, a few at a time. Perhaps there is some food allergy or some kind of relationship between certain foods and the migraine. Look online and you will find lists of foods that can trigger migraines. For many it is cheese. But everyone is different.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 2, 2020 8:10:31 GMT
Its like you are upset and frustrated, looking in a mirror and the upset just overcomes you and you throw the dish soap into the mirror and shatter it. It is destructive, but the anger, frustration and sense of helplessness was overwhelming.
This is just a portion of what some of these protestors are feeling. Notice I say protestors. Some of them are just plain looters taking advantage of the situation. But I truly believe there are some who are seriously upset and outraged over the whole system that is infected with racism. They are surrounded by people feeling the same outrage and frustration and before you know it there is a police car burning, or windows broken out of a store.
Actions like this are not thought out ahead of time, or planned, but spontaneous. Many of you will find ways to discredit this explanation - like they brought tools to the protest to vandalize, or this or that happened. Frustration and anger like this never makes sense, but it happens. Perhaps it seems premeditated, but you don't know the frame of mind a person was in when they left home to attend a protest or why they happen to have a baseball bat in their hands. Perhaps they themselves don't know.
When you have tamped down the anger for generations. . . When you have shrugged off the frustration for year after year when it erupts there is a deep well of pure emotion that will not be stopped and nothing that happens afterwards will make sense. Emotions are not always sensible. Your sense of self disappears and you become the tool of the anger and frustration that is erupting around you and within you.
To the outsider, it does not make sense. Chances are to the person doing the destruction it does not make sense other than they no longer had control over the anger and frustration within them.
So quit trying to make explanations. Look within yourself and wonder how you could control anger and frustration if you had to live with racism directed at you every day of you life. Racism does not take a break, it is pervasive and everywhere. One never knows when it will pop up and destroy your life, your family, your career, or your whole mental stability.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 1, 2020 4:31:42 GMT
Thanks so much!! Its my 70th birthday and hard to believe I am THAT old.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 31, 2020 7:33:43 GMT
Sunshine is my answer. Our screens are too dirty to want to breathe the air that would flow through them if we opened up the windows. Also it is already too hot to open up the windows. So I pull back the curtain and open the wooden door to let the sun shine in through the screen door and window screens. It helps quite a bit.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 30, 2020 15:44:49 GMT
Here in Texas those kind of storms can bring tornadoes. So they are a little nerve wracking. But I like to cuddle under the covers during a regular rainstorm.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 30, 2020 15:40:47 GMT
You could add the celery for the flavor but remove it after the soup is cocked. I don't really taste the celery in my soup, but don't like eating the actually celery itself.
I would not add rice, potatoes or pasta to the soup as it tends to turn to mush. If wanted, I add it to the portion of soup I take out of the freezer and prepare for immediate consumption. Though barely might work.
You might keep it simple though as one thing about bone soup that might be appealing to someone who is nauseous is the simple flavor of it, and the richer it is the more apt it is to cause nausea.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 30, 2020 15:31:07 GMT
In order to move forward now, they need to sit down and figure out a low expense vacation they both go on within the next few months. Then start a savings plan for that vacation. Gives hubby something. Wife then goes on planned vacation alone while hubby looks forward to a vacation with wife in the future. He might even contribute more of HIS play money for the couple vacation to make it happen sooner.
Conversation could go something like this - "Since your play money is all spent for right now, I am taking MY play money and going on vacation. We can pool our play money for the next three months and go somewhere together. But you could contribute more if you want a more special vacation together or want it sooner."
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Post by nlwilkins on May 29, 2020 5:07:30 GMT
Love the yoga pose. I had to go back and look twice at the pics I liked them so much. "Humans of New York" book was cool.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 27, 2020 9:19:12 GMT
Love some of the features such as the balcony over the kitchen. There is so much light everywhere with all those windows. The basement downstairs is kinda different, and would be wasted space to me.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 26, 2020 21:21:32 GMT
You say these are townhouses. Are these rental, or do each of you own your place? If rental, the landlord needs to become involved.
Otherwise I would be calling the non-emergency police number and have a conversation about what can be done to help you feel safe in your own home and on your own property. Menacing is a Class A misdemeanor and it sounds like he makes a habit of it. Aggravated menacing is even more serious and it sounds like that is what he has done. If you EVER see a weapon, do not hesitate to call 911.
He is wacko and has no boundaries. You hear stories of how after a shooting people say they knew something was going to happen and yet they did not call authorities or anything. Don't be one of those people, don't wait for escalation, call now1 He is not going to change and will only get worse and you don't want to be feeling guilty if someone gets seriously hurt. Not that it would be your fault, but we are human that way.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 25, 2020 17:35:29 GMT
We have water or ice tea with meals.
When in college many moons ago, I was a Home Economics major and we were required to take a meal management course. It was taught that for formal meals you server wine or water. The professor said that since this was Texas though, ice tea would be acceptable. But as I said it was formal meals that were being discussed. We don't do many formal meals here in Texas. Family events and get-togethers that involve a meal are rarely formal. They are more than likely to be BarBeQues.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 24, 2020 6:52:21 GMT
I wonder if he even has insurance? I don't think you are out of line to expect him to do whatever is necessary to fix the car especially since it is a lease. This, me thinks the man protests too much.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 23, 2020 22:20:57 GMT
I make it the easy way. I use a vanilla pudding mix, the kind that you cook on the stove, not the instant kind. I slice up bananas, get out the vanilla wafers, cook the pudding and then layer the three in a bowl. You put as much bananas and wafers in as you like. My hubby loves banana pudding and this is the way he likes it.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 23, 2020 22:10:48 GMT
Can you not do those things in your state yet? We can. Even if our state "allowed" it, I will still be at home. I love shopping, but there are too many idiots out there who don't believe in masks or SIP to make it safe to go shopping.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 23, 2020 6:02:07 GMT
I'm weeks shy of being 70 years old and I have never changed a tire, never smoked pot, and I never smoked in front of my mother.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 22, 2020 18:58:07 GMT
Throwing away was not right, but to lie on top of that is outrageous! If he feels they were junk and needed throwing away, why the lying? I would eventually find it within me to forgive the tossing out of my things, but I doubt I would ever forget about the lying - not just once for several years.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 21, 2020 23:32:17 GMT
Others may have a different experience, but in my opinion kids to lose interest real fast in jumping by themselves. I have seen so many trampolines all faded out and sitting in the corner of the backyard just abandoned and taking up so much room. Do you have a big back yard with lots and lots of room?
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Post by nlwilkins on May 21, 2020 21:52:48 GMT
That focus is only when there is something involved that benefits him in some way.
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