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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 5, 2023 8:20:07 GMT
Saturday morning I lost my lifelong friend and partner, the love of my life and husband, Will, to cancer. He fought it for more than four years and his body finally said enough and sadly he had to leave us. Half of me is missing and I will never be the same. After 53 years of marriage, living without him is going to be rough and I am not sure I can do it. I keep expecting him to be over there in his chair, or coming down the hall and I almost see him out of the corner of my eye. But, he is not there. I know I will continue to miss him for the rest of my life and look forward to the time we meet again. Will had prostate cancer and it made the last four years of his 81 years a misery. He hung on to see his daughter through Breast Cancer and to learn of his grandson starting high school. the last three or four days were spend in the hospital being kept comfortable under hospice but between one minute and the next he slipped away from us. My daughters (ages 51 and 48) are really taking this hard. I think for myself I am just numb. I was his caretaker the last four years, giving him his meds and pain pills and doing all I could to keep him comfortable. Now I don't know what to do with myself. My family and friends will have to help me figure it out.
Tomorrow we go to the funeral home to choose his casket and to discuss with them the last tasks we can do for him here on earth. I have his favorite Westerm suit out for him to wear, and need to find his boots. They called and wanted to know if we wanted the awesome white beard shaved off and I was horrified - - no never! He had a thick santa claus white beard even after all these years of fighting cancer and it is going to stay! Please be sure to insist your loved loved ones do not skip the cancer check ups they should be getting. Getting a prostate check up is not comfortable, but it needs doing.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 1, 2023 1:01:23 GMT
My husband had an infusion of iron - the nurse said it takes several to really feel much different. (He is fighting prostate cancer that spread to his bones and other places.) His cancer is spread too far for him to be able to tell any difference and he only had two infusions.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 28, 2023 9:35:00 GMT
Husband was in the hospital this past fall with low blood pressure. If the two numbers of your bp are added together and then divided by two and the results are lower than 60, then your body will start shutting down. His results were very close to 60 and at times dipping below 60. We have been battling prostate cancer now for almost four years.(It spread to the bones before being discovered.) I've posted about it here before.
He had been in major pain and was needing lots of methadone and narcotics to battle the pain. This was caused by a infection of some sort. Once he got a few major antibiotics going and other treatments his blood pressure stabilized at a higher level. I was so frustrated cause when I called and said the pain killers were not working, the nurses on call just kept telling me to give him more of the same. Thankfully, my daughter who is a RN came over and checked him out and eventually we sent him to ER by ambulance. He was hospitalized for about a week for various things before he was allowed to come home.
I used to have low blood pressure and if it got to low, I would have dizziness and have to be careful when standing up.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 20, 2022 3:06:15 GMT
my favorite is Mary Did You KnowI have a version of it on my FB - the favorite line is "did you know when you touched your baby, you touched the face of God?" I had heard the song before and found the tune haunting and pretty. But this year, I found the lyrics which I had never really paid attention to before. That is when I really fell in love with it. It sent shivers down my spine the first time I heard it with the lyrics available on the screen at the same time.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 20, 2022 2:57:05 GMT
Hubby has terminal cancer and is on methadone and hydrocodone. He cannot get refills - the doctor has to call them in each and every time he needs more. Because the cancer is in his bones, he is in tremendous pain at times and never is without some kind of pain reliever in his system. We just make sure that he always has enough to get through the rough times. As he is not limited to how many he can have in a refill. So far he is not taking the whole amount prescribed. We have a hospice doctor that we have to call every month to get his refills. It took planning and forethought at first to make he never had to go without. But now we have managed to stash aside a few here and there to give us a little leeway when we might need it. (It helps that I just have to leave a message for the nurse with the info needed.)
But, I can see why it has become necessary. When they first started putting extra requirements in there were very few friends of ours who did not have some sort of heavy duty pain reliever on hand "just in case". And of course they were always ready to share to friends who might need something if their back went out, or they pulled a muscle. That is how habits get started at times.
Being in my 70's I have seen regulations come and go about different medications. It used to be almost impossible to get Nexium, yet now you can get it over the counter. It was so expensive, that insurance co's did not want to pay for it. This is just one of the ways lawmakers and others want to interfere with your right to discuss with your doctor what you need and be able to get it once prescibed. (no, I am not goint to get into the abortion issue here.)
There was a time in the early history of opium when only the rich could afford it cause once you were hooked you could not work and ended up on the streets, your family starved and you literally died. Nobody stepped in and supported you and your family if you could not work due to drug addiction. So Darwin's theory worked to weed out the addicts. I am not advocating this, just throwing this out there as to what worked in the past.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 2, 2022 8:39:52 GMT
With two daughters in their 40's, we learned to take our cue from the daughter. The boyfriends never stayed over night because of logistics so that aspect never came up. But we treated them as the daughter's treated them. One daughter had a long term boyfriend that turned into a husband several years after they moved in with each other. The other had a boyfriend that she lived with for years. Each time, each relationship was different when it came to the situations mentioned above. With teenagers still in the home, as you mentioned, I would hope the visitors would take that into consideration when making decisions about where they slept. As the mother, you might discuss this with your son before he comes home. The couple probable will not be interested in sharing a room under parent's eyes at the age they are now anyway. It might feel a bit awkward for them.
As far as investing emotionally with the partners, we really did not get a chance unless the daughter allowed it. It was all up to the daughters. In other words we allowed our daughters to lay down the rules.Once they were on their own, they decided if we needed to get close enough to their boyfriends to develop any kind of friendship.
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Post by nlwilkins on Nov 19, 2022 16:39:10 GMT
I will support you in spirit if not deed. Though I did push the button on my roomba to get some vacuming done last night!
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Post by nlwilkins on Oct 29, 2022 11:48:10 GMT
Date nut bread - you add raisins, dates, and nuts (I use pecans) there really is not a recipe. I take a spice cake mix and add what the mix says to add (eggs, liquid, etc) and then start adding the above. I generally add golden raisins instead of regular raisins as they seem to come with less stems and hard pieces. I chop the dates up in bite size pieces and sometimes add more stuff to it like candied pineapple. I add enough to the batter so there is only enough batter to hold the cake together. Mother had a recipe for this, but it is just easier for me to use a cake mix and add the dates, etc.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 23, 2022 8:20:07 GMT
Not sure I understand. As an adult I took ballet classes for exercises and found that I could do pretty much every thing most ballet dancers do joint-wise. My hips are pretty loose and at the time I worked up to being able to do the splits. My feet can point outward making a straight line with the heels touching, but touching the toes in the same way is a little harder.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 23, 2022 8:15:01 GMT
This past winter I started using the products from Bath and Bodyworks. It really has helped a lot. I get the heaver duty moisturizer in a tube in different scents and slather it on after every shower. Used to be that moisturizer and hand cream with just sit on to of my skin and never soak in. Now I put it all over my body. It got rid of those barnacle-like scabs of dry skin that would build up. Can't wait to show my dermatologist at the next appointment (have to go in every 6 months due to skin cancer type stuff that has to be burned off.)
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Post by nlwilkins on May 9, 2022 5:13:11 GMT
Hubby was diagnosed with prostate cancer almost three years ago. It had already spread to his bones so there is no cure. Youngest daughter is undergoing her own cancer. She is trying to be brave even though she is fighting more than just her cancer, but the health system as well.
ETA thanks for the support and sorry to have posted so little. I had posted more but just could not justify posting it. My question to you all is, how do I tell him that it is OK and he can discontinue the treatment whenever he wants? He is in constant pain yet continues on putting up with it for my sake. Actually he is close to being unable to make decisions as his mind seems to be slower and slower with each poison/chemo pill he takes (four a day for the rest of his life.)
2nd edit - he has a Pallative care doctor and sees her on a regular basis. We have been through all the help they can provide and have a DNR on the refrigerator and on file at the hospital. She has him on a maintenance dosage of pain meds in addition to the as needed kind that he takes when needed - actually there are times I have to almost bully him into taking more as he won't do it. He also sees a cancer doctor on a regular basis - time between visits has become shorter lately. But there is nothing more they can do for him. I've been to counseling before and find that it just does not seem to help. So I find other things that help like seeing a group of my friends once a month, etc.
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Post by nlwilkins on Mar 31, 2022 21:34:59 GMT
If you don't have to worry about packing it in on your bike, I honesty would go with a cot. It is comfy, keeps you off the ground, and adds a bit of support for your back. Some of them even come with a padded mattress that is meant to fold up with the frame.
Your tent should have a floor that renders your tent bug free as the floor is attached to the walls. The main problem will be finding a place to pitch it that is rock free, and smooth.
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Post by nlwilkins on Mar 11, 2022 18:48:29 GMT
I've had cataract surgery in both eyes while awake and it was no problem. After I checked in to outpatient surgery and was prepped the nurses and doctors kept coming by and putting drops in my eyes til everything was totally numb and dilated. It was so numb and dilated that I could barely see out the eye that was being worked on. (One eye was done at a time with a week in between)I could hear the doctor talking to his "people" while working on the eye and really did not feel anything. I vaguely remember being a little out of it as they did not want me to be nervous. So maybe there was a little extra put into my I.V., but can't remember.
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Post by nlwilkins on Mar 5, 2022 6:17:17 GMT
Mother was in hospice care towards the end in 2010. I was worried that she would run out of days covered by insurance - it was authorized for seven days at a time. We were told to not worry about it, that the authorized days would be added as needed. She was in assisted living and if she was not under hospice care, she would not be getting her pain medications as there were no nurses available.
Hospice services are different from one place to another, just like all other nursing services. So if you have a hospice service that is not getting you what you need, then ask around. (The adage, you get what you pay for holds true also.)
It is important to know that there are different laws/regulations over people dying in the home. If there is a hospice nurse available, they know everything that needs to be done. For my mother, a constable was needed to be called before anything else because anybody dying has to be examined to be sure it was of natural causes. Also, we did not have to do anything towards the end but just be there if we wanted to be.
Also, the hospice nurses were invaluable for the experience they had in end of life issues. They were able to tell us what to expect - one brother, sister, myself and husband were there with her that final week. The hospice nurse made everything much easier of course.
Hospice can provide so many different things and so much information. Also, we were assured, that patients on hospice care did not have their lives extended with extreme measures and were allowed dignity in their passing. All mother had was a catheter, no other machines.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 26, 2022 8:53:43 GMT
I met a bunch of new friends about ten years ago when I started taking classes at the local quilt shop. Actually, I taught quite a few of those classes myself. We have all continued our friendships even to the point when the quilt shop closed for about 18 months we started meeting once a month at a local restaurant in the banquet room for lunch. Even after the quilt shop opened back up, we continued to meet. I also started a friends class once a week when we would bring our handwork and hang out at my house. We would bring snacks and stop mid afternoon, sit around my table and share. There were never more than five or six of us that met, but it was a good way to stay in touch on a weekly basis. When husband was diagnosed with cancer, life just got too complicated so we started skipping and eventually stopped the meet ups in my home. We still met once a month for lunch, about 12 of us at a restaurant. Of course, with us being in Texas and covid numbers being so high around here, we are not meeting anymore when the numbers get too high.
Its a great way to keep friends and make new friends. Anyone can bring friends to the lunch and once in a while we get someone new joining us.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 13, 2022 13:22:35 GMT
my daughters have both changed tires for grown men who did not know how. Goes to show it is not something a lot of people are comfortable doing. I mostly drove a pick up truck and it is a little trickier getting the jack where it needs to go on trucks.
Every car model is different and there are various types of car jacks, so your child needs to dig it out and figure out how it works and where it is supposed to be positioned to support the vehicle. You do not have to jack up the car very far, just enough to be able to clear the ground.
About the lug nuts. As soon as you get home from getting tires put on, you can loosen the lug nuts in various ways, depending upon what is available. (Husband has a air compressor that he uses to power his drills that do the job for us.) That way you can change your tires without worrying about the lug nuts being on too tight. It just takes a little thinking ahead and being prepared.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 5, 2022 7:11:48 GMT
Urgent care is fine with me Husband had to go to the ER during the first Fall of covid. I dropped him off at the door and was not allowed in until the doctor had some answers. He ended up staying in the hospital for several days and I was the only one allowed in to see him.
The way the ER visit was handled is the same the urgent care is handled. You don't get out of the car until the doctor is ready to see you. You are called on the phone or you wait standing outside, six feet apart, until the doctor can see you. Your phone number is taken at the door while you are still outside. Trust me, they have protocols to handle it all for urgent care as well as ER. The medical profession does not want to spread more covid around.
In the ER there was nobody in the waiting area at all. Usually there is at least fifty people with their families, dogs, lunches and more. Used to be if you wanted to avoid the crowd, you arrived in an ambulance and those guys want their stretchers back so they can leave. The time or two husband rode an ambulance, was not real fun, but you get off loaded into a examination room, not the waiting area.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 28, 2022 7:26:16 GMT
This is not a joke and I seriously would consider it - kittens (I am not trying to make light of what you are going through, and am seriously recommending this.) Pics of cute kittens, tik tok videos of cute kittens, etc. My husband has been doing this for about two weeks and I am amazed at how much better he is doing. Of course, this is just in addition to what you have already mentioned. If kittens do not make your heart melt, maybe puppies? Or maybe videos of wildlife doing funny stuff? Husband is not someone I would have ever suggested this to. But he just fell into it when searching for something else. Also, of course this is not the final answer, but a stop gap measure or a way to help cope until the "real" help comes through.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 24, 2022 16:37:57 GMT
Actually, a person deciding it was their own decision to make does not take into consideration how it affects us all in various ways. The most important to me, is the fact if you do not get vaccinated, then you are more likely to spread the virus before finding out you have it. So that affects me and my loved ones. So we get the vaccinations and still quarantine ourselves. There are people out there all around us who have not been vaccinated and who might be shedding the virus before they even know they have it. An larger issue, is the more people who get the virus, the more likely variants arise that mean the medical situation will never catch up. Because, if you get one variant, sooner or later there will be another variant that is not protected by having the first one. Also, more people in the hospital with the virus means getting my medical care becomes an issue due to overloaded and overworked hospitals.
So when a person does not get vaccinated, they are affecting my rights and freedom from disease in public places. When you do NOT get vaccinated I lose some of my freedoms.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 24, 2022 14:44:48 GMT
I would use the stained one to make a pattern to make a new one, possibly more than one to have extras If you don't sew it would be a simple thing for a seamstress to make one for you.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 19, 2022 17:22:50 GMT
I get a pretty good exam once a year but have to go in more for various reasons. The mammogram is every year, I see an endocrinologist every year for thyroid issues, questions are asked to determine my mental state, and I also get a breast exam in addition to the mammogram due to dense tissue. Lots of lab work too.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 17, 2022 18:41:34 GMT
It would be nice if this happens - but am very skeptical that it will. We really need Joe to come through for us
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 17, 2022 18:37:40 GMT
thanks for sharing!
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 8, 2022 13:05:10 GMT
What jerk - the nephew that is. How in the world does this aunt remember the name of someone she gave one treatment 25 years ago? Just think of the number of treatments this nurse administered. Why would this be the one she remembers? And what in the world was she thinking of when she talked to her nephew about treatments she gave patients so long ago? It all sounds very unlikely to me. Perhaps the nephew was fishing for info and seeing what he could come up with. Perhaps the only info the nephew has is the position the aunt had in that clinic and the your friend has a set of twins from that time period. I think I would be calling the aunt and letting her know that her nephew is throwing information around that may or may not be true. She may have never divulged info and
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 4, 2022 7:29:00 GMT
Around here it would be hit or miss if you are even going to be able to get the tests done. We have two different friends who have been waiting since the summer to have surgery, but have had their procedures postponed due to covid. The hospitals are overwhelmed with covid cases. Nurses have twice the number of patients they usually do.
If you are able to get in and get the tests done, you better grab the chance to have it done so your doctors can figure out what is going on. Because, there is no telling when they might be able to reschedule it again. Prepare and get some good masks and shields and take every precautions you can. Order some N95 masks if you can get them.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 30, 2021 10:52:52 GMT
I finished two years ago, an embroidered quilt that was a block of the month by Sue Spargo. The blocks and instructions came once a month and she had videos and the like at the the time. I don't know what is available from her now, but I really learned a lot seeing how some of the stitches were made. Before that, I could not figure some of them out just by reading written instructions. I can't find a photo of it now, but here is a pic of hers -I would not recommend making a whole quilt, but would highly suggest you watch videos of how to do various stitches. Also would like to add that this is wool that I have embroidered and it makes it so much easier because of the thickness and not having to hoop the fabric
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 19, 2021 4:52:34 GMT
what a sweetie - love that little tip of her tongue poking out
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 15, 2021 21:18:55 GMT
It depends upon what she plans on doing in her retirement. You might get her a little something to go with her plans, like a bucket list type book to help her make plans. I saw some cools ones on Amazon. But, you might be able to get one locally.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 15, 2021 21:15:51 GMT
Used to wear flannel shirts all the time, then wore chambray shirts and so on. Currently have a shirt that is embroidered with Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore that I wear a lot. Find them real convenient in the kind of weather we have here in Central Texas. Will admit though had to look up the term to determine what it meant.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 3, 2021 19:57:36 GMT
neutrogena sunscreen 100 spf is my go to It is recommended that you get a new one every summer as it does not age well
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