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Don’t just be sad and angry. Be our mama allies.

For those who want to know where to begin:

--Call/write/email your representatives. Tell them you’re not going to tolerate anymore police brutality and that they have to make this a priority in legislation. We all know all politicians want to be re-elected and if enough people voice their demands, they’ll do something about it, even if it’s incremental. Go to the district offices of your politicians and ask for an appointment for a sit-down to discuss your concerns and demands. Participate in townhalls. Tell every single one of them to step up and make this one of their topmost priorities. Talk to the people in your orbit – your family, friends, co-workers, colleagues, and ask them to team up with you and make calls and put their names on your letters and petitions.

--The young are particularly livid about what’s been happening. The problem is too many of them do not vote. Encourage those young people in your families to always vote. Is your state routinely suppressing the votes of blacks and other minorities? You can help by joining organizations and coalitions that facilitate minority voting. Contact your state and local officials, the ACLU, the League of Women Voters and they’ll give you the facts and guidance as to how you can help.

--Join or volunteer in local organizations that advocate for civil rights. Support them with whatever funds you can afford.

--If you’re surrounded daily by mostly white people who never hear the black perspective, widen your world – for example, visit a black church every now and then (if you’re a person of faith) and get to know some of the people there (who knows, you might even meet my mother; she’s the sweetie with the six violets on her church hat; and honestly, these black church people are fun). Are there black-owned business near you? Patronize those businesses and chat up the owners. Do you sometimes see black parents when there’s a school function? Approach them, introduce yourself, talk about children stuff, school stuff, whatever. Make an effort to get to know as many different black people as possible in your lives.

--Do you have black friends? Call them. Don’t saddle them with how you’re feeling right now. You’re sad and angry at this moment? Trust me, they’re feeling worse. Just tell them you care about them and that you’re available if he/she needs you.

--Be honest with your kids. Depending on their age, help them understand in terms that won’t confuse them that everybody in this country is not treated equally because of their skin color. I know that could be too abstract for some kids so just encourage them to befriend more children of color. Children are smart, sometimes smarter than adults, and in my experience they’re the ones who usually “get it.”

--Don’t be afraid to speak up. If you see something unfair occurring right before your eyes and you know it’s racially-motivated, don’t go rushing to your social media. Say something right there and then and endeavor to intervene without endangering yourself.

--Don't punish yourselves for feeling conflicted right now. That doesn't help anything. There’s nothing wrong with being dismayed about the violence currently happening. Any decent human being can be cognizant of the rage undergirding all this AND at the same time not condone the destruction of property. Feeling this way doesn’t make you insensitive and it doesn’t make you a racist. Fury isn’t even close to describing what I feel about the state-sanctioned killings and brutality toward blacks, but I am also saddened for the people who have to pick up the pieces afterwards and whose livelihoods have been destroyed. Yes, property can be replaced and dead people will remain dead. Yes, some of the damage was on high-end retail stores that may be able to easily recover, but I’ve seen plenty of small neighborhood businesses set on fire that are unlikely to have the resources to rebuild. We are fighting and clamoring against the savagery of too many officers; how could the solution be savagery in the destruction of communities?

--Finally, understand that this is not just one moment. For some of us, racism has been a lifetime legacy. Whatever effort you put into helping requires a sustained commitment. So, commit. There'll be times (many) when you'll be discouraged. Just don't lose hope. And keep asking questions.