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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 14, 2019 1:58:48 GMT
Sound interesting. (I just looked it up.) When I was a project manager in IT I did something similar. I had a "To DO" list in a notebook that was ongoing and carried over day to day. I did not necessarily do what was on top of the list, but instead looked through what was listed and worked on the task that had the closest deadline. Tasks were crossed off as they were completed and by looking at my list I was able to see what I had accomplished at any given time. When the bottom of the page was reached, tasks that were not crossed off where copied to the next page and the current page was turned to the back of the notebook. Taking a ten minute break was not feasible, but I could get up and take a trip around the third floor we were on that had a balcony that overlooked an indoor atrium with sun panels for the plants etc. It was a good refresher when one was needed.
Having this notebook made it a whole lot easier for me to report to my supervisor what I had accomplished for the week and what was on my plate for the coming week on each Monday. Supervisor loved it. She was then able to determine if I was making progress and how much help I might need to keep my projects up to date. I have to brag a bit and reveal that I was the only project manager that never had projects run late and also the only one that would even have projects completed ahead of schedule.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 14, 2019 1:36:42 GMT
Some of my thoughts about the scenario:
1.Taco Bell should not have to hire RN's or other medical personnel to be on hand to evaluate customers who might pass out and then decline assistance. 2.But, it might be reasonable for the manager to insist on having the customer taken to closest ER for evaluation. 3. It would be reckless for the customer to drive after such an incident without being checked out. 4.By refusing any assistance the customer then took on full responsibility for what happened because . . . 5. If the manager tried to over ride the customer's refusal, the customer might make a huge scene. 6. Manager should then call 911 and let them take over - possibly have police come in to keep customer from driving, or whatever.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 13, 2019 1:23:56 GMT
It does not matter what the definition of socialism is. What matters is it has become a "dirty" word in the Republicans' mouths. Many governments practice some forms of socialism. We pool our resources for armies, police, bridges, roads, and the like. Any service provided that is not owned and operated as a profit making business is probably an example of socialism in the most simplest of forms.
The problem is, many Americans confuse socialism with communism and Nazism. I don't believe we have educated the past few generations about the different forms of government enough for the lessons to stick. While we espouse the love of democracy, we really are not practicing a true democracy in our country. PLUS we have a critically high number of citizens who are not actively participating in our government. In 2019 not even 60% of our citizens eligible to vote turned out to vote.
So now while the Democrat candidates are extolling big plans that are socialist sounding, the average Joe in the streets has been "trained" to see this as evil. They are also unable to see the extreme name calling being used on both sides for what they are. And I totally agree with you that the Democrats are shooting themselves in the foot for these pie in the sky programs that will supposedly fix everything that is wrong. It is not going to happen. These programs are too extreme. They will cost money that the average citizen is not willing to pay. We are not used to sacrificing for a better life. We are used to having it just handed to us.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 11, 2019 20:06:52 GMT
When we lived in the country we had a momma mouse build a nest in the trunk of our mustang. We found the babies but never the momma. It got into the vents and the air conditioning smelled bad for the rest of the summer. To keep it from happening again, we kept mouse traps in the trunk.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 11, 2019 16:54:42 GMT
a restraining order is just a piece of paper even if you could get one. It would not stop a person who is determined to harm you. Just be careful and be aware of what is going on around you, don't open your door unless you know who is on the other side and definitely not to this woman. Let the appropriate people at work know what is going on. If there is a building security person, talk to him/her. Curtail your activities a bit for a while and see if you hear from her again. Possibly this woman and friends were intoxicated and venting some unwarranted anger. If you hear just one more thing from them take the police up on their offer to talking to them.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 11, 2019 16:38:28 GMT
My darling does not like his stuff put away cause he uses it. So it all sits out on the counter so he does not have to get it out when it is needed. It is the biggest mess. I gave him a whole bottom shelf to put his meds and coffee makings and he filled that up and has the counter top under it crammed full of daily and weekly items such as his antacids, special salt, napkins, and much much more. He even has the refills there.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 11, 2019 2:11:30 GMT
I am trying to think back and remember when all this changed for me. At one time I was a SAHM and did it all - with help from my daughters. Hubby did the outside work, the cars and took out the trash. If he forgot, it did not get done. Once the girls were gone and I was working, I still did it all. Then when I started graduate school and worked full time. Sometimes nothing got done and I just ignored it. One night I came home from a late class and husband was in the kitchen washing dishes that had been piling up for days. He was slow and laborious but was doing it. It was the first time in our marriage that he had washed even one dish. (We had been married about 20 years by then.) Things did not change much but he did pitch in now and then and helped out. Oh, and I want to say he always appreciated what I did. If he came home to a freshly cleaned, sparkling house he would comment. Most days he always thanked me for the meals I cooked and so on.
Fast forward to retirement - I because ill, had seven surgeries in one 12 month span and he had to step up to the plate. There were times when if he did not do it, then it did not get done. Was I satisfied with the way he did things? no, but I did not say a word and instead thanked him for doing it. For a while he took over everything while I had to sit in my reclined and watch. It was hard, very hard to see him do all the work.
Now that I have my health back, mostly we clean the house together. OR he will surprise me and it while I am gone out. I make sure he knows when my friends are coming over so he knows that I will be cleaning house the day before or the morning of their visit. He PLANS on it and that is so helpful.
So what I am saying, training a husband takes time. Sure we should not have to train them, but while it is a new age where wives should not have to do it all, we have to face reality. Men need training when it comes to helping around the house. Sometimes it takes a long time, but don't give up. My husband is 77 years old and it only was the past ten or fifteen years that he has taken on his share of the load.
Do what is necessary to impress upon him how important it is. Too tired to be fun in the evenings? make sure he knows why you are tired. Feeling unloved and disrespected? Make sure he knows how that affects your relationship. He wants you two to go do something fun, make sure such and such need to be done first.
Oh and some men I discovered just don't notice when the house is not clean, or clothes are piled up or the bathroom is not scrubbed. You need to figure out what matters to him as far as chores around the house. If it is meals every night, or perhaps beds made, trash taken out, or whatever. Those things would be what would suffer first when I did not get help around the house.
Above all, don't take it personally. He does not realize just how much it is affecting you. Sure you have told him, telling him will not work, you have to show him over and over.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 11, 2019 1:11:29 GMT
I find it strange that she was only disqualified AFTER she won a race.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 10, 2019 0:27:35 GMT
Love them. thanks for sharing
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 9, 2019 20:49:32 GMT
I hate the fax game some medical places play
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 9, 2019 20:01:27 GMT
Because advice from someone else can help keep mistakes to a minimum, I don't withhold opinions. But I am careful to not belittle or be condemning. Also, I always make sure that they have to do what is best for them and my feelings will not be hurt if they ignore my advice. Another good tactic is to find out their opinion first and then ask questions in a non-confrontational way.
We all love our children and want their lives to be free of mistakes and the like. I feel as their parents we should not withhold our opinions, we have lived longer and supposedly are wiser, etc. But we just need to be sure they feel free to go their own way and know we will love and support them no matter what.
BTW my daughters are in their late forties and we have a good relationship.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 9, 2019 2:53:27 GMT
The peas haven't just affected me, but the people I am around and my family as I pass on information and viewpoints. I bet it is the same for the rest of you as well.
I love the peas!
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 4, 2019 6:12:09 GMT
Mine were always in bed by 9 at that age. It was hard as the neighbor kids were still running around playing and some times it was just barely dark. But, it was needful to get well rested children who did not have "melt downs" or fall asleep in school.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 4, 2019 6:09:41 GMT
I remember camping in the 50's and it was not much easier. Mother drove us from Washington state to Florida hauling a pop up tent that had one wheel. There were four of us kids and she was newly widowed and we needed to get there. Not being able to afford motels along the way, she got a camper. An aunt went along to be a second adult when needed. We camped in farmer's fields, along the road and any convenient spot mother could find permission to camp. It did not occur to us how brave mother was being to take four kids and an diabetic aunt on a road/camping trip. I was under five and lil brother was about 2, older sister and brother were around 8 and 9. What a trip.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 3, 2019 7:30:37 GMT
If she doesn’t want people to show up early in the ads you put no early sales. Either way she sounds like a non negotiator. I would suddenly have something else come up on that date. If you tell her any else she might get POd. DH definitely thinks she is going to be PO'd if I don't show. And to make things more uncomfortable, we are all going on a birthday trip for me in Oct together. So I kinda feel like I have to play along and suck it up. If you don't have money invested in this yet, I think I would be not worrying about it. A trip with that many people never really goes well. There are always too many decisions to be made and too many people to make happy. So don't worry about the birthday trip and just do what you feel is right for the garage sale. This garage sale is a good indication of how the trip would go = someone will always make it miserable for everybody else and with this many people, they might even take turns doing it.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 3, 2019 3:16:37 GMT
Its way to much trouble hauling all that stuff over there with no advertising. If the sale is two days, perhaps when no one shows up the first day she might allow some signage the second day. If so, THEN haul that stuff over. Other wise, I would take only a carload and hang out with friends like mentioned earlier.
You can have another garage sale later for the heavier stuff. List items on facebook and other places and hold garage sale at the same time to save on time and effort.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 3, 2019 3:08:09 GMT
We've been watching the old time westerns - Roy Rogers, the Lone Ranger, the Gene Autry movies as well as Hop Along Cassidy plus others. love them
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 1, 2019 20:57:16 GMT
Apple is very particular about disabled phones. I would not be very hopeful about them. But if you have her passwords you can go online to her Apple account and perhaps enable from there to upload the photos. Just now I went to my icloud accunt which I was able to get to using my apple account id and password. When I went to icloud there were no photos, but when I went to photos there they were. Try clicking around in the icloud accout and see what you can find out.
Othewise, I would call the apple help line and pretend you are her. Tell them your phone is disabled because a friend tried to get into it and now you need their help. Knowing her apple id and password will help quite a bit. But sometimes you have to wait a month or two. My phone was locked up like this and they made me wait two months to fix it. But, in your case it would be worth it.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 31, 2019 1:22:43 GMT
some of these are messier than others,
macrame (belts with buckles, potted plant hangers, wrapping hangers, etc) painting rocks clay - use air dry clay so it does not have to be baked chain mail items such as pouches, wrist wraps (uses just rings which you purchase by the pound and pliers) wire weaving - there are some awesome designs out there that are masculine leather work - rolling magazine pages to make trays, vases and the like crocheting plastic trash bags into mats for the homeless - it is rough work and men could do this easier than women wine cork coasters and trays - you can purchase used wine corks on ebay carving books fishing lures - this is something my hubby used to do diamond painting You can find out about these things by doing a Google search If you do a search on Pinterest you will find much more
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 31, 2019 1:02:48 GMT
Those two are walking all over you and think nothing about it. They are the parents and they are the ones responsible for child care not you. If son does not want to come after school to pick her up, then you take her to him at the school. There are plenty of teachers here in Pea Land who will tell you that most after school work can also be done at home after the kids get to bed. In fact, I made sure that I was home right after school so as to spend some time with my children. He should be too. Of course coaches, choir directors and the like have after school activities associated with their position, but unless he is required to stay after school, his place is with his child.
As far as waiting for the parents to do their "firsts" that is something they will have to realize is not going to happen. Working parents miss a lot of firsts and that is the choice they made. What are they going to do if their precious takes her first steps at your house? Or pulls up the first time there, or sits up, and the list goes on. There are a lot of firsts that you will have not control over.
Frankly, it sounds like you are ready to get rid of this gig. You might try looking around and see what is available and present your son and DIL with a list. You should only be considered the back up for when the little one is sick or the day care center is closed. I always felt that grandmothers who took on full time care missed on doing the grandmother stuff cause they were so busy filling the role of mother. The sneaking of another cookie, eating dessert first and staying up late are missing as you have the child full time and these are things that should not be done all the time. If they are done all the time they no longer become special.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 30, 2019 5:22:15 GMT
Perhaps you can talk him into signing over the house? It could be sold if needed for assistance later on when he can no longer take care of himself. Or maybe just get your name on the deed so he cannot sell it or refinance it without your signature. ^^^^ This is not a good idea at all. So many different possible legal ramifications possible. In my area, if you own a home which isn't your primary residence, there is a capital gains tax of 50% of the value when you were to sell the house. Also, if the dd were to pass away suddenly, this home would be part of her assets and would be subject to additional probate $$ and would mess up a bunch of stuff. Be VERY CAREFUL when you co-sign or co-own anything with anyone. Thanks for the info, was just trying to figure out how she could manage to save some of the assets in order to be able to help him in the future.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 29, 2019 21:01:45 GMT
Its easy to say, it is his money, but a lot harder to ignore this spending when you know you may be called on to pick up the pieces later when he needs help. Not many daughters can ignore a father in need no matter how many bad decisions he made. Then considering he might be spending because of grief and years of doing without, it is harder to say no.
Perhaps you can talk him into signing over the house? It could be sold if needed for assistance later on when he can no longer take care of himself. Or maybe just get your name on the deed so he cannot sell it or refinance it without your signature.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 28, 2019 21:08:40 GMT
This is totally not fair. My heart hurts for you. I wish I lived closer so I could help.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 28, 2019 20:53:24 GMT
They were not illegal, they did all they were supposed to do to stay here for treatment of their children. But all of a sudden their stay for that reason was terminated. I don't agree with this at all. But My question is this. Are we supposed to be the treatment center of choice for any and all people who do not have such facilities at home? Who is paying for this. Would it not be cheaper to set up the right kind of facilities in the home countries of those needing it? One teen, a 16 year old was saying there was not Cystic Fibrosis treatment available to him at home. I looked up what the treatment for CF is and found it is medicine, techniques and devices and diet help. Could not doctors in his home country be trained to do that? How many medical treatment centers did they pass on their way to the US? It was not clear to me whether the children were sick before they came here or became sick after arrival. Of course those who became sick after arrival should seek treatment here. What choice do they have. But should they not make plans for treatment closer to home when possible? Well, again we run into the cost of doing so. If they stay here, chances are the treatment is free but probably would not be at places closer to home. We could help with that at the source of the problem, but we aren't. Again, the US becomes the caretaker of the world with the price tag that goes along with it. It is just a drop in the bucket of all our other expenditures, but we are doing without necessary things now such as safe roads, bridges and train tunnels, housing the homeless (with treatment for them as well) and the list goes on. This is what the current president is counting on, I hear it from my friends. They are not wanting to pay for treatment, food and housing for migrants when we have trouble taking care of our own. Looking at it from both sides show that there is indeed an issue that needs to be addressed. But, the answer is not to cut off the children caught up in this mess. They need to come up with solutions that affect the migrants coming in. Let them in, let them work, let them pay for health insurance and retirement. In other words, let them be able to pay their own way instead of having to operate under the radar and hide their status. Do you and your friends really think that food and medical treatment for immigrants, illegal or otherwise, is why you don’t have safe infrastructure or provision for the homeless? Really? No, I do not think that, but have friends who do and there are Trump supporters who do believe that and so it is used to gain their support. As I see it, the issue is much more complicated than that when dealing with all those things. Just like the issue of migrant health support is much more complicated than what is being portrayed.
As my first paragraph states, I do not support kicking out the people here legally or illegally who are here for medical reasons. But we need to review how their issues are being treated and perhaps work on getting their medical system improved in their countries. For me that would be a better use of our money.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 28, 2019 7:18:24 GMT
They were not illegal, they did all they were supposed to do to stay here for treatment of their children. But all of a sudden their stay for that reason was terminated. I don't agree with this at all.
But
My question is this. Are we supposed to be the treatment center of choice for any and all people who do not have such facilities at home? Who is paying for this. Would it not be cheaper to set up the right kind of facilities in the home countries of those needing it? One teen, a 16 year old was saying there was not Cystic Fibrosis treatment available to him at home. I looked up what the treatment for CF is and found it is medicine, techniques and devices and diet help. Could not doctors in his home country be trained to do that?
How many medical treatment centers did they pass on their way to the US? It was not clear to me whether the children were sick before they came here or became sick after arrival. Of course those who became sick after arrival should seek treatment here. What choice do they have. But should they not make plans for treatment closer to home when possible? Well, again we run into the cost of doing so. If they stay here, chances are the treatment is free but probably would not be at places closer to home. We could help with that at the source of the problem, but we aren't.
Again, the US becomes the caretaker of the world with the price tag that goes along with it. It is just a drop in the bucket of all our other expenditures, but we are doing without necessary things now such as safe roads, bridges and train tunnels, housing the homeless (with treatment for them as well) and the list goes on. This is what the current president is counting on, I hear it from my friends. They are not wanting to pay for treatment, food and housing for migrants when we have trouble taking care of our own.
Looking at it from both sides show that there is indeed an issue that needs to be addressed. But, the answer is not to cut off the children caught up in this mess. They need to come up with solutions that affect the migrants coming in. Let them in, let them work, let them pay for health insurance and retirement. In other words, let them be able to pay their own way instead of having to operate under the radar and hide their status.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 24, 2019 4:07:55 GMT
that used to be me after the first day back to teaching in the Fall! I would come home just a wreck.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 23, 2019 4:42:01 GMT
When you offer help, don’t make it open ended “how can I help?” Say, “I set aside 3 hours this weekend to come help you, what time works for you and what would you most prefer I get done?” If he fights it let him know that it will help you as much as it helps him. I’m sure you feel helpless and need to do what you can. And I think health issues like this are an excellent reminde to spend time with people, say things that need to be said, enjoy them. This is just as important if his doctor comes back tomorrow and tells him to keep his butt off google and he’s got an excellent fighting chance. We should all do that. This - - spend time with him and give him the gift of yourself. You two could plan outings like a fav restaurant, a visit to a planetarium, a movie or just bring a movie to watch together. The idea is to be together without having to talk about the elephant in the room and give him love and distraction.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 23, 2019 4:37:02 GMT
I used to just clip my pen to the overlap on my blouse between buttons, or onto the part just above the first button.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 20, 2019 8:56:19 GMT
I hear ya. I used to have to just skip a dessert a few days and would lose five pounds. I'm 5'8" and have very small bones. But fluid retention has taken over. I swear that if I retain the fluid too long it turns to fat. I am on three types of fluid pills and nothing seems to work, my ankles have just about disappeared. I KNOW it is not all fluid and that my weight is a big issue with most of the medical problems I have. But, I just can't seem to loose any. I know it is hormones though. About the time I really started gaining weight the GYN doctor lowered my premarin and the Endo. doctor messed with my thyroid meds and now says I have Hashimotos.
If I don't lose a bunch of weight, I fear my health will be hugely impacted. But my PCP says not to stress over it right now cause of my husband's cancer and poor prognosis, to worry about it later. But, I think he would feel better if I lost the weight so he would not have to worry about my health when he is gone. He is already worrying about other stuff when he should be concentrating on his own health and not mine!
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 20, 2019 8:39:37 GMT
Wow! I would be leery of the replacement for sure. That kind of glass is not supposed to do that. Sounds like you had an inferior type of glass in there, not saying you put it in but that you were slighted somewhere about that glass. That could have been so dangerous.
So glad you are not hurt. It really sucks to have to clean up glass like that. I always seem to miss some no matter how careful I am.
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